jefflong.yearzero-第59节

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It　didn't　seem　right；　somehow；　to　use　one　father　against　another。
　　
　THE　CLONES　GAINEDstrength。　Their　baby　fat　melted　away。　They　were　eager　to　test　their　muscles。　Foot　races　sprang　into　being。　They　did　hand…stands。　Men　draped　arms　over　one　another's　shoulders　and　danced　and　sang。　A　wrestling　match　on　the　hard　blacktop　left　the　petitors　bruised　and　bloody；　but　buoyant。
　Autumn　arrived；　and　with　it　cooler　weather。　The　fire　became　their　center。　Every　night；　the　Captain　had　his　guards　stack　more　wood　in　the　yard。　Every　morning　the　prisoners　arrived　to　find　the　flames　crackling；　and　they　would　take　up　where　yesterday　had　left　them。
　In　the　fourth　week；　Nathan　Lee　edited　his　character。　His　Aramaic　was　improving。　He　continued　to　play　a　traveler　from　the　mountains　north　of　Babylon；　but　now　he　became　their　scribe。　Like　a　magician；　he　produced　a　pen　and　blank　sheets　of　paper。　It　was　an　ingenious　trick。　In　one　stroke；　he　made　himself　what　he　already　was；　their　ghostwriter。
　Through　him；　they　believed；　they　could　municate　with　their　families　and　villages。　The　fact　that　Nathan　Lee　wrote　their　letters　in　his　own　language　using　a　strange　alphabet　was　no　more　perplexing　than　the　pen　of　endless　ink　that　he　wrote　with。　They　trusted　that　he　must　have　his　ways。
　He　no　longer　had　to　wait　for　the　clones　to　accidentally　interview　themselves。　Now　they　stood　in　line；　waiting　to　pour　out　their　thoughts　to　him。　While　Izzy　translated；　Nathan　Lee　wrote；　and　the　cameras　recorded。
　They　were　utterly　present…minded。　They　knew　they　had　died；　but　in　their　minds　only　a　year　or　two　had　passed。　They　missed　their　families。　They　worried　about　how　the　crops　were　doing；　or　if　the　herds　had　fattened；　and　how　the　children　were　growing。　Those　who　had　been　killed　during　the　destruction　of　Jerusalem　anguished　over　the　fate　of　their　loved　ones。　〃Be　strong；　we'll　soon　be　joined　together；〃　they　dictated　to　Nathan　Lee。
　Each　tried　to　describe　this　unusual　land　of　the　afterlife。　They　called　itSheol；　orTophet　orGehenna　。。。no　more　of　that　Egypt　business　with　the　iron　walls　and　bronze　sky。　For　them；　it　was　a　place　of　punishment；　but　also　gradual　rewards。　They　stressed　the　rewards。　The　sky　was　very　blue；　they　marveled。　The　lambs　were　fat。　A　forest　sent　its　sweet　perfume　to　them　over　the　walls。　One　day　the　walls　would　fall　away；　they　were　sure　of　it。　Everything　was　going　to　be　better　and　better。　Any　minute　their　loved　ones　were　going　to　show　up。
　
　25
　The　Horse
　
　OCTOBER
　Sixty…three　degrees　Fahrenheit；〃　Nathan　Lee　told　the　girl　as　they　drove　out　East　Jemez　Road。　〃Winds　west　by　southwest　at　five　miles　per　hour。　Look；　not　a　cloud　in　the　sky。　We　can't　go　wrong　today。〃　He　started　singing。　〃I　was　driving　along　in　my　automobile；　my　baby　beside　me　at　the　wheel。。。。〃
　Tara　was　grinning。　She　had　no　idea　what　he　was　raving　about；　but　he　was　happy　with　her；　and　she　had　him　for　the　day。　He　turned　left　to　go　to　the　old　Neutron　Science　Center。　The　place　had　been　mothballed　years　ago。　Now　it　was　home　to　a　contingent　of　Special　Forces　soldiers。　Here　the　Appaloosa　lived　in　splendor。
　The　elite　soldiers　had　adopted　her　with　a　passion。　They　had　built　a　stall　for　her　among　the　pi？ons　and　rabbit　brush。　She　was　the　Wild　West　to　them；　who　had　grown　up　in　cities　and　suburbs　and　never　ridden　a　horse　before　Nathan　Lee　brought　her。　None　of　the　other　units　had　such　a　glorious　mascot。　The　Marines　had　various　mutts；　the　SEALS　kept　fighting　cocks。　The　Appaloosa　was　unique。
　On　her　behalf；　the　team　medic　had　taught　himself　veterinary　medicine。　The　weapons　specialists　curried　her　and　rigged　an　enamel　bathtub　so　that　she　had　a　constant　supply　of　fresh；　running　water。　They　learned　which　fescues　she　preferred；　stockpiled　hay　bales　for　the　winter；　and…before　the　valley　had　been　designated　off…limits　in　late　August　and　travel　across　the　Rio　was　banned…had　bartered　with　ranchers　near　Taos　for　enough　eighty…pound　sacks　of　oats　to　feed　a　cavalry。　They　regularly　swept　the　field　and　killed　any　rattlesnakes。　They　took　turns　sleeping　in　a　tent　by　the　stable　so　that　coyotes　would　not　be　tempted。　In　jest　they　said　Nathan　Lee　would　have　to　fight　them　to　get　her　back。　In　jest　he　said　they'd　never　know　until　she　was　gone；　he'd　be　that　quiet　the　night　he　cut　loose　of　the　Mesa。　The　soldiers　liked　that。　In　their　minds　no　one　was　ever　leaving　Los　Alamos；　not　unless　the　cure　appeared　or　the　much　discussed；　near　mythic　Evacuation　Day　actually　came　down。
　For　Nathan　Lee；　the　Appaloosa　was　his　promise　to　himself。　She　was　his　link　backward　to　a　time　before　this　place。　He　visited　sporadically；　most　often　following　a　night　of　vivid　dreams。　In　one　form　or　another；　the　bad　dreams　always　had　to　do　with　his　daughter。　She　was　calling　to　him；　or　her　photo　on　the　shelf　in　the　bone　lab　would　show　a　skull。　He　would　wake　sweating　and　try　to　be　thankful　for　the　nightmares。　But　they　were　not　strong　enough　to　overe　his　good　dreams；　which　were　more　and　more　often　about　Miranda；　and　the　friendships　he　was　making；　and　the　ties　he　felt　binding　him。　One　recurring　image　was　of　his　feet　turning　into　tree　roots　that　grew　into　the　rocky　soil　of　Los　Alamos。　He　looked　up　in　his　dream　and　his　arms　would　be　limbs；　and　he　would　be　lodged　on　the　edge　of　a　cliff　overlooking　the　valley。　As　beautiful　and　peaceful　as　that　was；　he　would　wake　from　those　dreams　in　a　sweat；　too。
　But　the　Appaloosa　calmed　his　night　fears。　Just　the　sight　of　her　pacified　his　sense　of　guilt　and　betrayal。　One　day　he　would　leave　on　her　back。　He　would　be　true。
　Bringing　Tara　here　seemed　right　all　around。　It　was　going　on　two　months　since　he　had　first　crashed　her　isolation。　Since　then；　a　host　of　therapists　and　guardians　had　been　working　with　the　child；　guiding　her　into　the　pany　of　man。　The　Captain　and　his　wife　were　ready　to　take　her　into　their　home；　but　Tara　was　not　ready　to　be　taken。　She　was　still　an　unredeemed　wild　child。　Her　few　exploratory　outings　into　Los　Alamos　had　been　small　disasters：　a　tantrum　in　the　market；　a　screaming　fit　at　the　playground；　another　incident　with　feces；　and　other　such　lapses　back　into　her　cage　self。　As　far　as　Nathan　Lee　was　concerned；　her　behavior　had　everything　to　do　with　the　captivity　she　had　endured　since　birth。　People　kept　alluding　to　her　Neandertal　differences；　as　if　she　were　impaired　or　separate；　and　that　stung　Nathan　Lee。　But　the　fact　was　that　in　the　midst　of　one　of　her　fits；　Tara　was　a　dangerous　little　brute；　and　she　didn't　belong　mixing　with　other　children　in　the　city；　not　yet；　maybe　not　ever。
　And　so；　he　brought　her　to　the　horse。　He　would　have　brought　the　horse　to　her；　in　the　yard；　but　she　had　never　been　allowed　into　the　yard。　For　one　thing　it　was　occupied　by　the　other　clones　all　day；　every　day；　and　the　therapists…and　Nathan　Lee's　instincts…ruled　against　introducing　the　girl　to　the　men　from　Year　Zero。　They　might　very　well　treat　her　like　a　little　sister；　but　on　the　other　hand　they　were　walking　wounded　themselves。　At　best；　the　insertion　of　a　female　child　would　probably　have　stirred　expectations　that　their　own　womenfolk　were　about　to　arrive。　At　worst；　they　were　crucified　men。　Nathan　Lee　was　still　uncertain　about　the　extent　of　some　of　their　crimes。
　Tara's　visit　had　been　arranged　in　advance。　The　Special　Forces　camp　was　set　on　several　acres　to　the　east　of　the　abandoned　testing　facility；　and　for　today's　visit　they　had　tethered　the　appaloosa　in　the　middle　of　nowhere；　far　from　any　human　distraction。　No　one　else　was　out　there。
　Nathan　Lee　and　Tara　took　their　time　walking　out　across　the　warm　tan　soil。　She　kept　stopping；　fascinated　by　the　grasshoppers　and　ladybugs　and　rocks。　He　rubbed　sprigs　of　sagebrush　for　her　to　smell。　〃Look！〃　she　kept　saying。　He　didn't　tell　her　about　the　horse。　He　let　her　discover　the　animal　herself。
　Tara　grew　very　still　at　the　sight　of　the　appaloosa。　The　horse　was　browsing　clumps　of　dry　grass；　her　long　tail　sailing　back　and　forth。　They　had　saddled　her。　Her　mane　was　groomed。　She　was　beautiful。
　〃Should　we　go　a　little　closer？〃　Nathan　Lee　asked。
　Tara　held　his　hand。　She　was　fearful；　the　way　any　child　would　be；　all　wide　eyes　and　quiet　before　the　majesty　of　the　giant　animal。　She　clutched　her　blond　Barbie　doll　in　one　brown　fist。
　The　appaloosa　went　on　cropping　the　grass；　though　her　ears　swiveled　at　their　approach。　They　got　close。
　〃Touch　her；〃　Nathan　Lee　said；　running　his　hands　along　the　white…and…black　spotted　flanks。　Tara　laid　a　fingertip　on　the　muscled　bellows　of　a　rib　cage。　The　horse　lifted　her　head　to　see　the　small　creature；　and　Tara　shied　against　Nathan　Lee。
　〃She　wants　to　get　a　look　at　you；〃　he　said。　〃She　wants　to　smell　you。〃　The　big　nostrils　flexed　and　blew。　〃I　think　she　likes　you。〃
　Tara　was　speechless。
　〃Look；　you　have　the　same　hair；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。　He　raised　one　forearm　through　the　dirty　white　mane　and　let　the　coarse　hair　cascade　off。　Tara　worked　her　fingers　through　it；　awestruck　by　her　connection　with　the　magical　beast。
　Nathan　Lee　had　brought　a　treat　from　the　farmer's　market　in　Los　Alamos。　People　had　built　greenhouses　on　the　tops　of　apartment　buildings　and　dug　plots　in　the　parks　and　cleared　spaces　in　the　forest。　The　growing　season　had　been　unusually　long　this　year。　For　the　last　several　weeks；　you　could　trade　for　peas　in　the　pod；　green　and　red　chiles；　ears　of　yellow　and　Indian　corn；　round　can