the lion and the unicorn-第5节

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and　as　she　did　so；　her　eyes　fell　on　the　photographs　of　herself
scattered　over　the　mantelpiece；　and　she　smiled　slightly。　　But
Helen　did　not　see　hershe　was　sitting　down　now；　pulling　at　the
books　on　the　table。　　She　was　confused　and　disturbed　by　emotions
which　were　quite　strange　to　her；　and　when　Marion　bade　her　good…by
she　hardly　noticed　her　departure。　　What　impressed　her　most　of　all
in　what　Marion　had　told　her；　was；　she　was　surprised　to　find；　that
Philip　was　going　away。　　That　she　herself　had　frequently　urged　him
to　do　so；　for　his　own　peace　of　mind；　seemed　now　of　no
consequence。　　Now　that　he　seriously　contemplated　it；　she
recognized　that　his　absence　meant　to　her　a　change　in
everything。　　She　felt　for　the　first　time　the　peculiar　place　he
held　in　her　life。　　Even　if　she　had　seen　him　but　seldom；　the　fact
that　he　was　within　call　had　been　more　of　a　comfort　and　a
necessity　to　her　than　she　understood。

That　he　was　poor；　concerned　her　chiefly　because　she　knew　that；
although　this　condition　could　only　be　but　temporary；　it　would
distress　him　not　to　have　his　friends　around　him；　and　to　entertain
them　as　he　had　been　used　to　do。　　She　wondered　eagerly　if　she
might　offer　to　help　him；　but　a　second　thought　assured　her　that；
for　a　man；　that　sort　of　help　from　a　woman　was　impossible。

She　resented　the　fact　that　Marion　was　deep　in　his　confidence；
that　it　was　Marion　who　had　told　her　of　his　changed　condition　and
of　his　plans。　　It　annoyed　her　so　acutely　that　she　could　not
remain　in　the　room　where　she　had　seen　her　so　complacently　in
possession。　　And　after　leaving　a　brief　note　for　Philip；　she　went
away。　　She　stopped　a　hansom　at　the　door；　and　told　the　man　to
drive　along　the　Embankmentshe　wanted　to　be　quite　alone；　and　she
felt　she　could　see　no　one　until　she　had　thought　it　all　out；
and　had　analyzed　the　new　feelings。

So　for　several　hours　she　drove　slowly　up　and　down；　sunk　far　back
in　the　cushions　of　the　cab；　and　staring　with　unseeing　eyes　at　the
white　enamelled　tariff　and　the　black　dash…board。

She　assured　herself　that　she　was　not　jealous　of　Marion；　because；
in　order　to　be　jealous；　she　first　would　have　to　care　for　Philip
in　the　very　way　she　could　not　bring　herself　to　do。

She　decided　that　his　interest　in　Marion　hurt　her；　because　it
showed　that　Philip　was　not　capable　of　remaining　true　to　the　one
ideal　of　his　life。　　She　was　sure　that　this　explained　her
feelingsshe　was　disappointed　that　he　had　not　kept　up　to　his　own
standard；　that　he　was　weak　enough　to　turn　aside　from　it　for　the
first　pretty　pair　of　eyes。　　But　she　was　too　honest　and　too　just
to　accept　that　diagnosis　of　her　feelings　as　finalshe　knew　there
had　been　many　pairs　of　eyes　in　America　and　in　London；　and　that
though　Philip　had　seen　them；　he　had　not　answered　them　when　they
spoke。　　No；　she　confessed　frankly；　she　was　hurt　with　herself
for　neglecting　her　old　friend　so　selfishly　and　for　so　long　a
time；　his　love　gave　him　claims　on　her　consideration；　at　least；
and　she　had　forgotten　that　and　him；　and　had　run　after　strange
gods　and　allowed　others　to　come　in　and　take　her　place；　and　to
give　him　the　sympathy　and　help　which　she　should　have　been　the
first　to　offer；　and　which　would　have　counted　more　when　coming
from　her　than　from　any　one　else。　　She　determined　to　make　amends
at　once　for　her　thoughtlessness　and　selfishness；　and　her　brain
was　pleasantly　occupied　with　plans　and　acts　of　kindness。　　It　was
a　new　entertainment；　and　she　found　she　delighted　in　it。　　She
directed　the　cabman　to　go　to　Solomons's；　and　from　there　sent
Philip　a　bunch　of　flowers　and　a　line　saying　that　on　the　following
day　she　was　coming　to　take　tea　with　him。　　She　had　a　guilty
feeling　that　he　might　consider　her　friendly　advances　more
seriously　than　she　meant　them；　but　it　was　her　pleasure　to　be
reckless：　her　feelings　were　running　riotously；　and　the　sensation
was　so　new　that　she　refused　to　be　circumspect　or　to　consider
consequences。　　Who　could　tell；　she　asked　herself　with　a
quick；　frightened　gasp；　but　that；　after　all；　it　might　be　that　she
was　learning　to　care？　　From　Solomons's　she　bade　the　man　drive　to
the　shop　in　Cranbourne　Street　where　she　was　accustomed　to
purchase　the　materials　she　used　in　painting；　and　Fate；　which　uses
strange　agents　to　work　out　its　ends；　so　directed　it　that　the
cabman　stopped　a　few　doors　below　this　shop；　and　opposite　one
where　jewelry　and　other　personal　effects　were　bought　and　sold。　
At　any　other　time；　or　had　she　been　in　any　other　mood；　what
followed　might　not　have　occurred；　but　Fate；　in　the　person　of　the
cabman；　arranged　it　so　that　the　hour　and　the　opportunity　came
together。

There　were　some　old　mezzotints　in　the　window　of　the　loan　shop；　a
string　of　coins　and　medals；　a　row　of　new　French　posters；　and　far
down　to　the　front　a　tray　filled　with　gold　and　silver　cigarette…
cases　and　watches　and　rings。　　It　occurred　to　Helen；　who　was　still
bent　on　making　restitution　for　her　neglect；　that　a　cigarette…case
would　be　more　appropriate　for　a　man　than　flowers；　and　more
lasting。　　And　she　scanned　the　contents　of　the　window　with　the
eye　of　one　who　now　saw　in　everything　only　something　which　might
give　Philip　pleasure。　　The　two　objects　of　value　in　the　tray　upon
which　her　eyes　first　fell　were　the　gold　seal…ring　with　which
Philip　had　sealed　his　letters　to　her；　and；　lying　next　to　it；　his
gold　watch！　　There　was　something　almost　human　in　the　way　the　ring
and　watch　spoke　to　her　from　the　pastin　the　way　they　appealed　to
her　to　rescue　them　from　the　surroundings　to　which　they　had　been
abandoned。　　She　did　not　know　what　she　meant　to　do　with　them　nor
how　she　could　return　them　to　Philip；　but　there　was　no　question　of
doubt　in　her　manner　as　she　swept　with　a　rush　into　the　shop。　
There　was　no　attempt；　either；　at　bargaining　in　the　way　in　which
she　pointed　out　to　the　young　woman　behind　the　counter　the
particular　ring　and　watch　she　wanted。　　They　had　not　been　left　as
collateral；　the　young　woman　said；　they　had　been　sold　outright。

〃Then　any　one　can　buy　them？〃　Helen　asked　eagerly。　　〃They　are　for
sale　to　the　publicto　any　one？〃


The　young　woman　made　note　of　the　customer's　eagerness；　but
with　an　unmoved　countenance。

〃Yes；　miss；　they　are　for　sale。　　The　ring　is　four　pounds　and　the
watch　twenty…five。〃

〃Twenty…nine　pounds！〃　Helen　gasped。

That　was　more　money　than　she　had　in　the　world；　but　the　fact　did
not　distress　her；　for　she　had　a　true　artistic　disregard　for　ready
money；　and　the　absence　of　it　had　never　disturbed　her。　　But　now　it
assumed　a　sudden　and　alarming　value。　　She　had　ten　pounds　in　her
purse　and　ten　pounds　at　her　studiothese　were　just　enough　to　pay
for　a　quarter's　rent　and　the　rates；　and　there　was　a　hat　and　cloak
in　Bond　Street　which　she　certainly　must　have。　　Her　only　assets
consisted　of　the　possibility　that　some　one　might　soon　order　a
miniature；　and　to　her　mind　that　was　sufficient。　　Some　one　always
had　ordered　a　miniature；　and　there　was　no　reasonable　doubt　but
that　some　one　would　do　it　again。　　For　a　moment　she　questioned　if
it　would　not　be　sufficient　if　she　bought　the　ring　and　allowed　the
watch　to　remain。　　But　she　recognized　that　the　ring　meant　more　to
her　than　the　watch；　while　the　latter；　as　an　old　heirloom　which
had　been　passed　down　to　him　from　a　great…grandfather；　meant
more　to　Philip。　　It　was　for　Philip　she　was　doing　this；　she
reminded　herself。　　She　stood　holding　his　possessions；　one　in　each
hand；　and　looking　at　the　young　woman　blankly。　　She　had　no　doubt
in　her　mind　that　at　least　part　of　the　money　he　had　received　for
them　had　paid　for　the　flowers　he　had　sent　to　her　in　Scotland。　
The　certainty　of　this　left　her　no　choice。　　She　laid　the　ring　and
watch　down　and　pulled　the　only　ring　she　possessed　from　her　own
finger。　　It　was　a　gift　from　Lady　Gower。　　She　had　no　doubt　that　it
was　of　great　value。

〃Can　you　lend　me　some　money　on　that？〃　she　asked。　　It　was　the
first　time　she　had　conducted　a　business　transaction　of　this
nature；　and　she　felt　as　though　she　were　engaging　in　a　burglary。

〃We　don't　lend　money；　miss；〃　the　girl　said；　〃we　buy　outright。　　I
can　give　you　twenty…eight　shillings　for　this；〃　she　added。

〃Twenty…eight　shillings；〃　Helen　gasped；　〃why；　it　is　worthoh；
ever　so　much　more　than　that！〃

〃That　is　all　it　is　worth　to　us；〃　the　girl　answered。　　She　regarded
the　ring　indifferently　and　laid　it　away　from　her　on　the　counter。　
The　action　was　final。

Helen's　hands　rose　slowly　to　her　breast；　where　a　pretty　watch
dangled　from　a　bowknot　of　crushed　diamonds。　　It　was　her　only
possession；　and　she　was　very　fond　of　it。　　It　also　was　the　gift　of
one　of　the　several　great　ladies　who　had　adopted　her　since　her
residence　in　London。　　Helen　had　painted　a　miniature　of　this
particular　great　lady　which　had　looked　so　beautiful　that　the
pleasure　which　the　original　of　the　portrait　derived　from　the
thought　that　she　still　really　looked　as　she　did　in　the　miniature
was　worth　more　to　her　than　many　diamonds。

But　it　was　different　with　Helen；　and　no　one　could　count　what　it
cost　her　to　tear　away　her　one　proud　possession。

〃What　will　you　give　me　for　this？〃　she　asked　defiantly。

The　girl's　eyes　showed　greater　interest。　　〃I　can　give　you　twenty
pounds　for　that；〃　she　said。

〃Take　it；　please；〃　Helen　begged；　as　though　she　feared　if　she
kept　it　a　moment　longer　she　mig