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the lion and the unicorn-第4节

小说: the lion and the unicorn 字数: 每页4000字

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what she wanted solely on the ground that the cause was just。

She had taken more than a fancy for Helen; and the position of
the beautiful; motherless girl had appealed to her as one filled
with dangers。  When she grew to know Helen better; she recognized
that these fears were quite unnecessary; and as she saw more of
her she learned to care for her deeply。  Helen had told her much
of Carroll and of his double purpose in coming to London; of
his brilliant work and his lack of success in having it
recognized; and of his great and loyal devotion to her; and of
his lack of success; not in having that recognized; but in her
own inability to return it。  Helen was proud that she had been
able to make Carroll care for her as he did; and that there was
anything about her which could inspire a man whom she admired so
much; to believe in her so absolutely and for so long a time。 
But what convinced her that the outcome for which he hoped was
impossible; was the very fact that she could admire him; and see
how fine and unselfish his love for her was; and yet remain
untouched by it。

She had been telling Lady Gower one day of the care he had taken
of her ever since she was fourteen years of age; and had quoted
some of the friendly and loverlike acts he had performed in her
service; until one day they had both found out that his attitude
of the elder brother was no longer possible; and that he loved
her in the old and only way。  Lady Gower looked at her rather
doubtfully and smiled。

〃I wish you would bring him to see me; Helen〃 she said; 〃I think
I should like your friend very much。  From what you tell me of
him I doubt if you will find many such men waiting for you in
this country。  Our men marry for reasons of property; or they
love blindly; and are exacting and selfish before and after they
are married。  I know; because so many women came to me when my
husband was alive to ask how it was that I continued so happy in
my married life。〃

〃But I don't want to marry any one;〃 Helen remonstrated gently。 
〃American girls are not always thinking only of getting married。〃

〃What I meant was this;〃 said Lady Gower; 〃that; in my
experience; I have heard of but few men who care in the way this
young man seems to care for you。  You say you do not love him;
but if he had wanted to gain my interest; he could not have
pleaded his cause better than you have done。  He seems to see
your faults and yet love you still; in spite of themor on
account of them。  And I like the things he does for you。  I like;
for instance; his sending you the book of the moment every
week for two years。  That shows a most unswerving spirit of
devotion。  And the story of the broken bridge in the woods is a
wonderful story。  If I were a young girl; I could love a man for
that alone。  It was a beautiful thing to do。〃

Helen sat with her chin on her hands; deeply considering this new
point of view。

〃I thought it very foolish of him;〃 she confessed questioningly;
〃to take such a risk for such a little thing。〃

Lady Gower smiled down at her from the height of her many years。

〃Wait;〃 she said dryly; 〃you are very young nowand very rich;
every one is crowding to give you pleasure; to show his
admiration。  You are a very fortunate girl。  But later; these
things which some man has done because he loved you; and which
you call foolish; will grow large in your life; and shine out
strongly; and when you are discouraged and alone; you will take
them out; and the memory of them will make you proud and happy。 
They are the honors which women wear in secret。〃

Helen came back to town in September; and for the first few days
was so occupied in refurnishing her studio and in visiting the
shops that she neglected to send Carroll word of her return。 
When she found that a whole week had passed without her having
made any effort to see him; and appreciated how the fact would
hurt her friend; she was filled with remorse; and drove at once
in great haste to Jermyn Street; to announce her return in
person。  On the way she decided that she would soften the blow of
her week of neglect by asking him to take her out to luncheon。 
This privilege she had once or twice accorded him; and she felt
that the pleasure these excursions gave Carroll were worth the
consternation they caused to Lady Gower。

The servant was uncertain whether Mr。 Carroll was at home or not;
but Helen was too intent upon making restitution to wait for the
fact to be determined; and; running up the stairs; knocked
sharply at the door of his study。

A voice bade her come in; and she entered; radiant and smiling
her welcome。  But Carroll was not there to receive it; and
instead; Marion Cavendish looked up at her from his desk where
she was busily writing。  Helen paused with a surprised laugh; but
Marion sprang up and hailed her gladly。  They met half way across
the room and kissed each other with the most friendly feeling。

Philip was out; Marion said; and she had just stepped in for a
moment to write him a note。  If Helen would excuse her; she would
finish it; as she was late for rehearsal。

But she asked over her shoulder; with great interest; if Helen
had passed a pleasant summer。  She thought she had never seen her
looking so well。  Helen thought Miss Cavendish herself was
looking very well also; but Marion said no; that she was too
sunburnt; she would not be able to wear a dinner…dress for a
month。  There was a pause while Marion's quill scratched
violently across Carroll's note…paper。  Helen felt that in some
way she was being treated as an intruder; or worse; as a guest。 
She did not sit down; it seemed impossible to do so; but she
moved uncertainly about the room。  She noted that there were
many changes; it seemed more bare and empty; her picture was
still on the writing…desk; but there were at least six new
photographs of Marion。  Marion herself had brought them to the
room that morning; and had carefully arranged them in conspicuous
places。  But Helen could not know that。  She thought there was an
unnecessary amount of writing scribbled over the face of each。

Marion addressed her letter and wrote 〃Immediate〃 across the
envelope; and placed it before the clock on the mantelshelf。 
〃You will find Philip looking very badly;〃 she said; as she
pulled on her gloves。  〃He has been in town all summer; working
very hardhe has had no holiday at all。  I don't think he's
well。  I have been a great deal worried about him;〃 she added。 
Her face was bent over the buttons of her glove; and when she
raised her blue eyes to Helen they were filled with serious
concern。

〃Really;〃 Helen stammered; 〃II didn't knowin his letters he
seemed very cheerful。〃

Marion shook her head and turned and stood looking
thoughtfully out of the window。  〃He's in a very hard place;〃 she
began abruptly; and then stopped as though she had thought better
of what she intended to say。  Helen tried to ask her to go on;
but could not bring herself to do so。  She wanted to get away。

〃I tell him he ought to leave London;〃 Marion began again; 〃he
needs a change and a rest。〃

〃I should think he might;〃 Helen agreed; 〃after three months of
this heat。  He wrote me he intended going to Herne Bay or over to
Ostend。〃

〃Yes; he had meant to go;〃 Marion answered。  She spoke with the
air of one who possessed the most intimate knowledge of Carroll's
movements and plans; and change of plans。  〃But he couldn't;〃 she
added。  〃He couldn't afford it。  Helen;〃 she said; turning to the
other girl; dramatically; 〃do you knowI believe that Philip is
very poor。〃

Miss Cabot exclaimed incredulously; 〃Poor!〃  She laughed。  〃Why;
what do you mean?〃

〃I mean that he has no money;〃 Marion answered; sharply。  〃These
rooms represent nothing。  He only keeps them on because he paid
for them in advance。  He's been living on three shillings a day。 
That's poor for him。  He takes his meals at cabmen's shelters and
at Lockhart's; and he's been doing so for a month。〃

Helen recalled with a guilty thrill the receipt of certain boxes
of La France rosescut long; in the American fashionwhich had
arrived within the last month at various country houses。  She
felt indignant at herself; and miserable。  Her indignation was
largely due to the recollection that she had given these flowers
to her hostess to decorate the dinner…table。

She hated to ask this girl of things which she should have known
better than any one else。  But she forced herself to do it。  She
felt she must know certainly and at once。

〃How do you know this?〃 she asked。  〃Are you sure there is no
mistake?〃

〃He told me himself;〃 said Marion; 〃when he talked of letting the
plays go and returning to America。  He said he must go back;
that his money was gone。〃

〃He is gone to America!〃 Helen said; blankly。

〃No; he wanted to go; but I wouldn't let him;〃 Marion went on。 
〃I told him that some one might take his play any day。  And this
third one he has written; the one he finished this summer in
town; is the best of all; I think。  It's a love…story。  It's
quite beautiful。〃  She turned and arranged her veil at the glass;
and as she did so; her eyes fell on the photographs of herself
sca

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