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Hugby cried when Glenlivat apologized; if the young

nobleman had kicked him round the court; I believe the

tutor would have been happy; so that an apology and a

reconciliation might subsequently ensue。  'My lord;' said

he; 'in your conduct on this and all other occasions; you

have acted as becomes a gentleman; you have been an

honour to the University; as you will be to the peerage;

I am sure; when the amiable vivacity of youth is calmed

down; and you are called upon to take your proper share

in the government of the nation。'  And when his lordship

took leave of the University; Hugby presented him with a

copy of his 'Sermons to a Nobleman's Family' (Hugby was

once private tutor to the Sons of the Earl of

Muffborough); which Glenlivat presented in return to Mr。

William Ramm; known to the fancy as the Tutbury Pet; and

the sermons now figure on the boudoir…table of Mrs。 Ramm;

behind the bar of her house of entertainment; 'The Game

Cock and Spurs;' near Woodstock; Oxon。



At the beginning of the long vacation; Hugby comes to

town; and puts up in handsome lodgings near St。 James's

Square; rides in the Park in the afternoon; and is

delighted to read his name in the morning papers among

the list of persons present at Muffborough House; and the

Marquis of Farintosh's evening…parties。  He is a member

of Sydney Scraper's Club; where; however; he drinks his

pint of claret。



Sometimes you may see him on Sundays; at the hour when

tavern doors open; whence issue little girls with great

jugs of porter; when charity…boys walk the streets;

bearing brown dishes of smoking shoulders of mutton and

baked 'taturs; when Sheeny and Moses are seen smoking

their pipes before their lazy shutters in Seven Dials;

when a crowd of smiling persons in clean outlandish

dresses; in monstrous bonnets and flaring printed gowns;

or in crumpled glossy coats and silks that bear the

creases of the drawers where they have lain all the week;

file down High Street;sometimes; I say; you may see

Hugby coming out of the Church of St。 Giles…in…the…

Fields; with a stout gentlewoman leaning on his arm;

whose old face bears an expression of supreme pride and

happiness as she glances round at all the neighbours; and

who faces the curate himself and marches into Holborn;

where she pulls the bell of a house over which is

inscribed; 'Hugby; Haberdasher。'  It is the mother of the

Rev。 F。 Hugby; as proud of her son in his white choker as

Cornelia of her jewels at Rome。  That is old Hugby

bringing up the rear with the Prayer…books; and Betsy

Hugby the old maid; his daughter;old Hugby; Haberdasher

and Church…warden。



In the front room upstairs; where the dinner is laid out;

there is a picture of Muffborough Castle; of the Earl of

Muffborough; K。X。; Lord…Lieutenant for Diddlesex; an

engraving; from an almanac; of Saint Boniface College;

Oxon; and a sticking…plaster portrait of Hugby when

young; in a cap and gown。  A copy of his 'Sermons to a

Nobleman's Family' is on the bookshelf; by the 'Whole

Duty of Man;' the Reports of the Missionary Societies;

and the 'Oxford University Calendar。'  Old Hugby knows

part of this by heart; every living belonging to Saint

Boniface; and the name of every tutor; fellow; nobleman;

and undergraduate。



He used to go to meeting and preach himself; until his

son took orders; but of late the old gentleman has been

accused of Puseyism; and is quite pitiless against the

Dissenters。







CHAPTER XV



ON UNIVERSITY SNOBS



I should like to fill several volumes with accounts of

various University Snobs; so fond are my reminiscences of

them; and so numerous are they。  I should like to speak;

above all; of the wives and daughters of some of the

Professor…Snobs; their amusements; habits; jealousies;

their innocent artifices to entrap young men; their

picnics; concerts; and evening…parties。  I wonder what

has become of Emily Blades; daughter of Blades; the

Professor of the Mandingo language?  I remember her

shoulders to this day; as she sat in the midst of a crowd

of about seventy young gentlemen; from Corpus and

Catherine Hall; entertaining them with ogles and French

songs on the guitar。  Are you married; fair Emily of the

shoulders?  What beautiful ringlets those were that used

to dribble over them!what a waist!what a killing sea…

green shot…silk gown!what a cameo; the size of a

muffin!  There were thirty…six young men of the

University in love at one time with Emily Blades: and no

words are sufficient to describe the pity; the sorrow;

the deep; deep commiserationthe rage; fury; and

uncharitableness; in other wordswith which the Miss

Trumps (daughter of Trumps; the Professor of Phlebotomy)

regarded her; because she DIDN'T squint; and because she

WASN'T marked with the small…pox。



As for the young University Snobs; I am getting too old;

now; to speak of such very familiarly。  My recollections

of them lie in the far; far pastalmost as far back as

Pelham's time。



We THEN used to consider Snobs raw…looking lads; who

never missed chapel; who wore highlows and no straps; who

walked two hours on the Trumpington road every day of

their lives; who carried off the college scholarships;

and who overrated themselves in hall。  We were premature

in pronouncing our verdict of youthful Snobbishness  The

man without straps fulfilled his destiny and duty。  He

eased his old governor; the curate in Westmoreland; or

helped his sisters to set up the Ladies' School。  He

wrote a 'Dictionary;' or a 'Treatise on Conic Sections;'

as his nature and genius prompted。  He got a fellowship:

and then took to himself a wife; and a living。  He

presides over a parish now; and thinks it rather a

dashing thing to belong to the 'Oxford and Cambridge

Club;' and his parishioners love him; and snore under his

sermons。  No; no; HE is not a Snob。  It is not straps

that make the gentleman; or highlows that unmake him; be

they ever so thick。  My son; it is you who are the Snob

if you lightly despise a man for doing his duty; and

refuse to shake an honest man's hand because it wears a

Berlin glove。



We then used to consider it not the least vulgar for a

parcel of lads who had been whipped three months

previous; and were not allowed more than three glasses of

port at home; to sit down to pineapples and ices at each

other's rooms; and fuddle themselves with champagne and

claret。



One looks back to what was called a 'wine…party' with a

sort of wonder。  Thirty lads round a table covered with

bad sweetmeats; drinking bad wines; telling bad stories;

singing bad songs over and over again。  Milk punch

smokingghastly headache frightful spectacle of

dessert…table next morning; and smell of tobaccoyour

guardian; the clergyman; dropping in; in the midst of

thisexpecting to find you deep in Algebra; and

discovering the Gyp administering soda…water。



There were young men who despised the lads who indulged

in the coarse hospitalities of wine…parties; who prided

themselves in giving RECHERCHE little French dinners。

Both wine…party…givers and dinner…givers were Snobs。



There were what used to be called 'dressy' Snobs:… Jimmy;

who might be seen at five o'clock elaborately rigged out;

with a camellia in his button…hole; glazed boots; and

fresh kid…gloves twice a day;Jessamy; who was

conspicuous for his 'jewellery;'a young donkey;

glittering all over with chains; rings; and shirt…studs;…

…Jacky; who rode every day solemnly on the Blenheim Road;

in pumps and white silk stockings; with his hair curled;…

…all three of whom flattered themselves they gave laws to

the University about dressall three most odious

varieties of Snobs。



Sporting Snobs of course there were; and are always

those happy beings in whom Nature has implanted a love of

slang: who loitered about the horsekeeper's stables; and

drove the London coachesa stage in and outand might

be seen swaggering through the courts in pink of early

mornings; and indulged in dice and blind…hookey at

nights; and never missed a race or a boxing…match; and

rode flat…races; and kept bull…terriers。  Worse Snobs

even than these were poor miserable wretches who did not

like hunting at all; and could not afford it; and were in

mortal fear at a two…foot ditch; but who hunted because

Glenlivat and Cinqbars hunted。  The Billiard Snob and the

Boating Snob were varieties of these; and are to be found

elsewhere than in universities。



Then there were Philosophical Snobs; who used to ape

statesmen at the spouting…clubs; and who believed as a

fact that Government always had an eye on the University

for the selection of orators for the House of Commons。

There were audacious young free…thinkers; who adored

nobody or nothing; except perhaps Robespierre and the

Koran; and panted for the day when the pale name of

priest should shrink and dwindle away before the

indignation o

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