tg.stone of tears-第70节

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er　that　needed　to　be　collared；　a　beast。
　
　Tears　ran　down　his　face。　The　sword　slowly　sank　until　the　tip　touched　the　ground。　He　stood　staring　at　the　Sister　as　she　slept；　shivering　with　the　cold。　He　stood　a　long　time；　watching。
　
　Richard　finally　slid　the　sword　quietly　back　into　its　scabbard。　He　retrieved　his　blanket　and　laid　it　over　Sister　Verna；　tucking　it　carefully　around　her；　being　gentle　so　as　not　to　wake　her。　He　sat　and　watched　until　she　stopped　shivering　and　then　he　lay　down；　wrapping　himself　in　his　cloak。
　
　He　was　exhausted；　and　he　hurt　all　over；　but　he　couldn’t　sleep。　He　knew　they　were　going　to　hurt　him。　That　was　what　the　collar　was　for。　When　she　got　him　to　the　palace；　they　were　going　to　hurt　him。
　
　What　difference　did　it　make？
　
　Memories　danced　and　darted　through　his　mind；　memories　of　what　Denna　had　done　to　him。　He　remembered　the　pain；　the　helpless　agony；　the　blood：　his　blood。
　
　The　visions　went　on　and　on。　As　long　as　he　lived　he　would　never　be　able　to　forget　them。　It　had　only　just　ended；　and　now　it　was　going　to　start　all　over　again。　There　would　never　be　an　end　to　it。
　
　There　was　only　one　thought　in　all　the　turmoil　of　his　mind　that　forted　him。　He　had　learned　from　Sister　Verna　that　he　was　wrong　about　the　Keeper　escaping。　That　meant　Kahlan　was　safe。　She　was　safe；　and　that　was　all　that　really　mattered。　He　tried　to　keep　everything　else　away　and　think　only　of　that。　That　thought　allowed　him　to　drift；　at　last；　into　sleep。
　
　
　CHAPTER　19
　
　His　eyes　opened。　The　sun　was　just　breaking　the　horizon。　When　he　sat　up；　the　pain　from　his　burn　caught　his　breath　short。　He　put　his　hand　over　his　shirt；　where　the　bandage　was；　and　held　it　there　until　that　pain　subsided。　The　residual　effects　of　the　Agiel　left　the　rest　of　him　feeling　as　if　he　had　been　beaten　with　a　club。　He　ached　everywhere。　He　remembered　from　the　time　when　Denna　had　‘trained’　him　using　the　Agiel；　feeling　a　lot　worse　when　he　awoke；　only　to　have　her　start　using　the　Agiel　on　him　all　over　again。
　
　Sister　Verna　was　sitting　on　her　blanket；　her　legs　folded　beneath　her；　watching　him　as　she　chewed　something。　She　had　her　cloak　around　her　shoulders　with　the　hood　down。　Her　curly　brown　hair　looked　freshly　brushed。
　
　She　had　neatly　folded　Richard’s　blanket；　and　placed　it　back　next　to　where　he　slept。　She　said　nothing　about　it。　Richard　pushed　himself　to　his　feet；　taking　a　moment　to　steady　himself　and　stretch　his　hurting；　cramped　muscles。　The　sky　was　a　clear；　cold；　deep　blue。　The　grass　smelled　sweet　and　damp　with　dew。　The　vapor　of　his　breath　drifted　lazily　in　the　still；　crisp　air。
　
　‘I’ll　go　saddle　the　horses；　and　we　can　be　on　our　way。’
　
　‘Don’t　you　want　something　to　eat？’
　
　He　shook　his　head。　‘I’m　not　hungry。’
　
　‘What　happened　to　your　arm？’　she　asked　without　looking　up。
　
　There　was　dark；　dried　blood　all　down　his　arm　and　hand。　‘I　was　polishing　my　sword。　It　was　dark。　I　cut　myself。　It’s　nothing。’
　
　‘I　see。’　She　glanced　up　as　he　scratched　the　stubble　on　his　face。　‘I　hope　you　are　more　careful　when　you　shave　your　neck。’
　
　Richard　decided　in　that　instant　that　as　long　as　he　was　held　captive　in　a　collar；　he　would　not　shave。　It　would　be　his　way　of　proclaiming　to　them　that　a　collar　was　unjust；　that　he　knew　he　was　nothing　more　than　their　prisoner；　and　that　he　would　not　believe　their　spurious　protestations　to　the　contrary。　There　could　be　no　justification　for　a　collar；　and　there　would　be　no　promising　of　that　basic　truth　…　none；　not　ever。
　
　Richard　glowered　at　the　Sister。　‘Prisoners　don’t　shave。’　He　turned　toward　the　horses。
　
　‘Richard。’　He　looked　over　his　shoulder。　‘Sit　down。’　Her　voice　was　gentle；　but　he　glared　at　the　order　nonetheless。　She　gestured　to　a　place　in　front　of　her。　‘Sit　down。　I　was　thinking　about　what　you　said。　You　are　here；　I　am　here。　Sit　down　and　I　will　begin　teaching　you　how　to　control　the　gift。’
　
　He　was　caught　off…guard。　‘Now？　Here？’
　
　‘Yes。　e　and　sit。’
　
　He　didn’t　really　care　about　using　the　gift；　he　hated　magic。　He　had　only　asked　about　it　before　because　he　had　been　trying　to　ease　the　tension。　His　eyes　darted　about　before　he　finally　sat　and　folded　his　legs；　imitating　the　way　she　was　sitting。
　
　‘What　do　you　want　me　to　do？’
　
　‘There　is　much　to　teach　you　about　using　the　gift。　You　will　learn　about　balance　in　all　things；　especially　magic。　You　must　heed　all　our　warnings；　and　follow　what　we　tell　you。　There　are　dangers　to　using　magic。　Perhaps　you　already　know　this　from　using　the　Sword　of　Truth；　yes？’　Richard　didn’t　move。　She　went　on。　There　is　greater　danger　in　using　the　gift。　It　can　have　unanticipated　results。　Results　that　can　be　disastrous。’
　
　‘I　have　already　used　the　gift。　You　said　I　used　it　in　three　specific　ways。’
　
　She　leaned　forward　a　little。　And　look　what　happened。　It　brought　an　unanticipated　result。　It　resulted　in　you　having　that　collar　around　your　neck。’
　
　Surprised；　Richard　stared　at　her。　‘That　wasn’t　a　result　of　my　using　the　gift。　You　were　already　looking　for　me；　you　said　so。　If　I　hadn’t　used　the　gift；　the　result　would　have　been　the　same。’
　
　Sister　Verna　slowly　shook　her　head；　her　eyes　stayed　on　his。　‘We　had　been　looking　for　you　for　years。　Something　hid　you　from　us。　If　you　hadn’t　used　the　gift　in　the　ways　you　did；　I　doubt　we　ever　would　have　found　you。　Using　the　gift　put　that　collar　around　your　neck。’
　
　Years。　They　had　been　searching　for　him　for　years。　All　that　time　he　had　lived　peaceably　in　Westland；　first　with　his　brother　and　father　and　Zedd；　and　then　on　his　own　as　a　woods　guide；　they　had　been　looking　for　him；　and　he　never　knew　it。　The　thought　gave　him　a　chill。　He　brought　it　on　himself；　by　using　magic。　He　hated　magic。
　
　‘Although　I　would　agree　that　that　is　disastrous；　for　me；　how　could　you？　It’s　what　you　want。’
　
　‘It　is　what　we　had　to　do。　But　you　have　threatened　my　life。　You　have　threatened　the　lives　of　anyone　else　who　keeps　that　collar　around　your　neck。　That　would　be　all　the　Sisters　of　the　Light。　I　never　take　the　warnings　of　wizards；　even　untrained　wizards；　lightly。　Your　use　of　the　gift；　allowing　us　to　find　you；　could　end　up　being　a　disaster　for　all　of　us。’
　
　He　felt　no　satisfaction　that　his　threats　had　not　gone　unnoticed。　He　felt　nothing。　‘Then　why　are　you　doing　this？’　he　whispered。　‘Making　me　wear　it？’
　
　To　help　you。　You　would　have　died　otherwise。’
　
　‘You　have　already　helped　me。　The　headaches　are　gone。　You　have　my　thanks。　Why　can’t　you　let　me　go　now？’
　
　‘If　the　collar　is　removed　too　soon；　before　you　learn　enough　of　controlling　the　gift；　they　will　e　back。　You　will　die。’
　
　Then　teach　me；　so　I　can　get　it　off。’
　
　‘We　must　be　cautious　in　teaching　magic。　You　must　have　patience　in　your　studies。　We　are　careful　in　our　training　because　we　know　more　of　the　dangers　of　magic　than　you；　and　we　don’t　want　you　to　be　hurt　through　ignorance。　But　that　is　not　a　problem　for　now；　because　it　will　take　time　before　you　are　advanced　enough　to　really　use　the　gift　and　risk　these　dangers；　as　long　as　you　adhere　to　what　we　say。　You　can　have　patience；　yes？’
　
　‘I　have　no　desire　to　use　magic；　I　guess　that　could　be　construed　as　patience。’
　
　‘Good　enough；　for　now。　We　will　begin　then。’　She　squirmed　a　little；　rearranging　her　legs。　There　is　a　force　within　us　all。　It　is　the　force　of　life。　We　call　it　Han。’　Richard　frowned。　‘Lift　your　arm。’　He　did　as　she　asked。　That　is　the　force　of　life；　given　us　by　the　Creator。　It　is　encased　within　you。　You　have　just　used　Han。　Those　with　the　gift　can　extend　that　force　outside　themselves。　Such　an　external　force　is　called　a　web。　Those　with　the　gift；　like　you；　have　the　ability　to　cast　a　web。
　
　With　the　web；　you　can　do　things　outside　your　body；　much　as　the　life　force　can　do　within　your　body。’
　
　‘How　can　that　be？’
　
　Sister　Verna　picked　up　a　small　stone　in　her　fingers。　‘Here；　my　mind　is　using　Han　to　make　my　hand　lift　the　stone。　My　hand　is　not　doing　it　of　its　own　accord；　but　rather；　my　mind　is　directing　the　life　force　to　use　my　hand　to　acplish　what　my　mind　wishes　done。’　She　set　the　stone　back　on　the　ground　and　folded　her　hands　in　her　lap。　The　stone　floated　into　the　air　and　hung　between　them。　‘I　have　just　acplished　the　same　thing；　only　this　time　I　did　it　by　projecting　the　life　force　outside　of　my　body。　That　is　the　gift。’
　
　‘You　can　do　what　a　wizard　can？’
　
　‘No。　Only　some　of　it。　That　is　how　we　are　able　to　teach　its　use。　We　understand　the　feel　of　it。　The　Sisters　have　some　control　of　the　life　force；　and　the　gift；　but　nothing　like　a　wizard　who　knows　how　to　control　his　Han。’
　
　‘How　do　you　get　this　life　force　to　go　outside　your　body？’
　
　That　can’t　begin　to　be　explained　until　you　learn　to　recognize　the　force　within　yourself；　learn　to　touch　the　Han。’
　
　‘Why？’
　
　‘Because　every　person　is　different。　Every　person　uses　the　force　differently。　It　isn’t　used　the　same　in　any　two　people。　Love　is　a　form　of　Han　being　projected　outside　one’s　self；　into　another。　It　is；　though；　a　very　mild；　weak　form。　Even　though　love　is　universal；　it　is　used　and　felt　differently　by　all。　Some　use　it　to　bring　out　the　best　of　the　Han　in　another。　Some　use　it　to　bring　out　the　best　in　themselves。　Some　use　it　to　contr