the duchesse de langeais-第19节

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　my　beauty；　I　may　lose　every　trace　of　it　in　six　months；　like　the　dear　Princess；　my　neighbour。　　You　are　captivated　by　my　wit；　my　grace。　　Great　Heavens！　you　would　soon　grow　used　to　them　and　to　the　pleasures　of　possession。　　Have　not　the　little　concessions　that　I　was　weak　enough　to　make　come　to　be　a　matter　of　course　in　the　last　few　months？　　Some　day；　when　ruin　comes；　you　will　give　me　no　reason　for　the　change　in　you　beyond　a　curt；　‘I　have　ceased　to　care　for　you。'Then；　rank　and　fortune　and　honour　and　all　that　was　the　Duchesse　de　Langeais　will　be　swallowed　up　in　one　disappointed　hope。　　I　shall　have　children　to　bear　witness　to　my　shame；　and〃　　With　an　involuntary　gesture　she　interrupted　herself；　and　continued：　　〃But　I　am　too　good…natured　to　explain　all　this　to　you　when　you　know　it　better　than　I。　　Come！　let　us　stay　as　we　are。　　I　am　only　too　fortunate　in　that　I　can　still　break　these　bonds　which　you　think　so　strong。　　Is　there　anything　so　very　heroic　in　coming　to　the　Hotel　de　Langeais　to　spend　an　evening　with　a　woman　whose　prattle　amuses　you？a　woman　whom　you　take　for　a　plaything？　　Why；　half　a　dozen　young　coxcombs　come　here　just　as　regularly　every　afternoon　between　three　and　five。　　They；　too；　are　very　generous；　I　am　to　suppose？　　I　make　fun　of　them；　they　stand　my　petulance　and　insolence　pretty　quietly；　and　make　me　laugh；　but　as　for　you；　I　give　all　the　treasures　of　my　soul　to　you；　and　you　wish　to　ruin　me；　you　try　my　patience　in　endless　ways。　　Hush；　that　will　do；　that　will　do；〃　she　continued；　seeing　that　he　was　about　to　speak；　〃you　have　no　heart；　no　soul；　no　delicacy。　　I　know　what　you　want　to　tell　me。　　Very　well；　thenyes。　　I　would　rather　you　should　take　me　for　a　cold；　insensible　woman；　with　no　devotion　in　her　composition；　no　heart　even；　than　be　taken　by　everybody　else　for　a　vulgar　person；　and　be　condemned　to　your　so…called　pleasures；　of　which　you　would　most　certainly　tire；　and　to　everlasting　punishment　for　it　afterwards。　　Your　selfish　love　is　not　worth　so　many　sacrifices。　。　。　。〃

The　words　give　but　a　very　inadequate　idea　of　the　discourse　which　the　Duchess　trilled　out　with　the　quick　volubility　of　a　bird…organ。　　Nor；　truly；　was　there　anything　to　prevent　her　from　talking　on　for　some　time　to　come；　for　poor　Armand's　only　reply　to　the　torrent　of　flute　notes　was　a　silence　filled　with　cruelly　painful　thoughts。　　He　was　just　beginning　to　see　that　this　woman　was　playing　with　him；　he　divined　instinctively　that　a　devoted　love；　a　responsive　love；　does　not　reason　and　count　the　consequences　in　this　way。　　Then；　as　he　heard　her　reproach　him　with　detestable　motives；　he　felt　something　like　shame　as　he　remembered　that　unconsciously　he　had　made　those　very　calculations。　　With　angelic　honesty　of　purpose；　he　looked　within；　and　self…examination　found　nothing　but　selfishness　in　all　his　thoughts　and　motives；　in　the　answers　which　he　framed　and　could　not　utter。　　He　was　self…convicted。　　In　his　despair　he　longed　to　fling　himself　from　the　window。　　The　egoism　of　it　was　intolerable。

What　indeed　can　a　man　say　when　a　woman　will　not　believe　in　love？　　Let　me　prove　how　much　I　love　you。The　_I_　is　always　there。

The　heroes　of　the　boudoir；　in　such　circumstances；　can　follow　the　example　of　the　primitive　logician　who　preceded　the　Pyrrhonists　and　denied　movement。　　Montriveau　was　not　equal　to　this　feat。　　With　all　his　audacity；　he　lacked　this　precise　kind　which　never　deserts　an　adept　in　the　formulas　of　feminine　algebra。　　If　so　many　women；　and　even　the　best　of　women；　fall　a　prey　to　a　kind　of　expert　to　whom　the　vulgar　give　a　grosser　name；　it　is　perhaps　because　the　said　experts　are　great　PROVERS；　and　love；　in　spite　of　its　delicious　poetry　of　sentiment；　requires　a　little　more　geometry　than　people　are　wont　to　think。

Now　the　Duchess　and　Montriveau　were　alike　in　thisthey　were　both　equally　unversed　in　love　lore。　　The　lady's　knowledge　of　theory　was　but　scanty；　in　practice　she　knew　nothing　whatever；　she　felt　nothing；　and　reflected　over　everything。　　Montriveau　had　had　but　little　experience；　was　absolutely　ignorant　of　theory；　and　felt　too　much　to　reflect　at　all。　　Both　therefore　were　enduring　the　consequences　of　the　singular　situation。　　At　that　supreme　moment　the　myriad　thoughts　in　his　mind　might　have　been　reduced　to　the　formula〃Submit　to　be　mine　'　words　which　seem　horribly　selfish　to　a　woman　for　whom　they　awaken　no　memories；　recall　no　ideas。　　Something　nevertheless　he　must　say。　　And　what　was　more；　though　her　barbed　shafts　had　set　his　blood　tingling；　though　the　short　phrases　that　she　discharged　at　him　one　by　one　were　very　keen　and　sharp　and　cold；　he　must　control　himself　lest　he　should　lose　all　by　an　outbreak　of　anger。

〃Mme　la　Duchesse；　I　am　in　despair　that　God　should　have　invented　no　way　for　a　woman　to　confirm　the　gift　of　her　heart　save　by　adding　the　gift　of　her　person。　　The　high　value　which　you　yourself　put　upon　the　gift　teaches　me　that　I　cannot　attach　less　importance　to　it。　　If　you　have　given　me　your　inmost　self　and　your　whole　heart；　as　you　tell　me；　what　can　the　rest　matter？　　And　besides；　if　my　happiness　means　so　painful　a　sacrifice；　let　us　say　no　more　about　it。　　But　you　must　pardon　a　man　of　spirit　if　he　feels　humiliated　at　being　taken　for　a　spaniel。〃

The　tone　in　which　the　last　remark　was　uttered　might　perhaps　have　frightened　another　woman；　but　when　the　wearer　of　a　petticoat　has　allowed　herself　to　be　addressed　as　a　Divinity；　and　thereby　set　herself　above　all　other　mortals；　no　power　on　earth　can　be　so　haughty。

〃M。　le　Marquis；　I　am　in　despair　that　God　should　not　have　invented　some　nobler　way　for　a　man　to　confirm　the　gift　of　his　heart　than　by　the　manifestation　of　prodigiously　vulgar　desires。　　We　become　bond…slaves　when　we　give　ourselves　body　and　soul；　but　a　man　is　bound　to　nothing　by　accepting　the　gift。　　Who　will　assure　me　that　love　will　last？　　The　very　love　that　I　might　show　for　you　at　every　moment；　the　better　to　keep　your　love；　might　serve　you　as　a　reason　for　deserting　me。　　I　have　no　wish　to　be　a　second　edition　of　Mme　de　Beauseant。　　Who　can　ever　know　what　it　is　that　keeps　you　beside　us？　　Our　persistent　coldness　of　heart　is　the　cause　of　an　unfailing　passion　in　some　of　you；　other　men　ask　for　an　untiring　devotion；　to　be　idolised　at　every　moment；　some　for　gentleness；　others　for　tyranny。　　No　woman　in　this　world　as　yet　has　really　read　the　riddle　of　man's　heart。〃

There　was　a　pause。　　When　she　spoke　again　it　was　in　a　different　tone。

〃After　all；　my　friend；　you　cannot　prevent　a　woman　from　trembling　at　the　question；　‘Will　this　love　last　always？'　　Hard　though　my　words　may　be；　the　dread　of　losing　you　puts　them　into　my　mouth。　　Oh；　me！　it　is　not　I　who　speaks；　dear；　it　is　reason；　and　how　should　anyone　so　mad　as　I　be　reasonable？　　In　truth；　I　am　nothing　of　the　sort。〃

The　poignant　irony　of　her　answer　had　changed　before　the　end　into　the　most　musical　accents　in　which　a　woman　could　find　utterance　for　ingenuous　love。　　To　listen　to　her　words　was　to　pass　in　a　moment　from　martyrdom　to　heaven。　　Montriveau　grew　pale；　and　for　the　first　time　in　his　life；　he　fell　on　his　knees　before　a　woman。　　He　kissed　the　Duchess's　skirt　hem；　her　knees；　her　feet；　but　for　the　credit　of　the　Faubourg　Saint…Germain　it　is　necessary　to　respect　the　mysteries　of　its　boudoirs；　where　many　are　fain　to　take　the　utmost　that　Love　can　give　without　giving　proof　of　love　in　return。

The　Duchess　thought　herself　generous　when　she　suffered　herself　to　be　adored。　　But　Montriveau　was　in　a　wild　frenzy　of　joy　over　her　complete　surrender　of　the　position。

〃Dear　Antoinette；〃　he　cried。　　〃Yes；　you　are　right；　I　will　not　have　you　doubt　any　longer。　　I　too　am　trembling　at　this　momentlest　the　angel　of　my　life　should　leave　me；　I　wish　I　could　invent　some　tie　that　might　bind　us　to　each　other　irrevocably。〃

〃Ah！〃　she　said；　under　her　breath；　〃so　I　was　right；　you　see。〃

〃Let　me　say　all　that　I　have　to　say；　I　will　scatter　all　your　fears　with　a　word。　　Listen！　if　I　deserted　you；　I　should　deserve　to　die　a　thousand　deaths。　　Be　wholly　mine；　and　I　will　give　you　the　right　to　kill　me　if　I　am　false。　　I　myself　will　write　a　letter　explaining　certain　reasons　for　taking　my　own　life；　I　will　make　my　final　arrangements；　in　short。　　You　shall　have　the　letter　in　your　keeping；　in　the　eye　of　the　law　it　will　be　a　sufficient　explanation　of　my　death。　　You　can　avenge　yourself；　and　fear　nothing　from　God　or　men。〃

〃What　good　would　the　letter　be　to　me？　　What　would　life　be　if　I　had　lost　your　love？　　If　I　wished　to　kill　you；　should　I　not　be　ready　to　follow？　　No；　thank　you　for　the　thought；　but　I　do　not　want　the　letter。　　Should　I　not　begin　to　dread　that　you　were　faithful　to　me　through　fear？　　And　if　a　man　knows　that　he　must　risk　his　life　for　a　stolen　pleasure；　might　it　not　seem　more　tempting？　　Armand；　the　thing　I　ask　of　you　is　the　one　hard　thing　to　do。〃

〃Then　what　is　it　that　you　wish？〃

〃Your　obedience　and　my　liberty。〃

〃Ah；　God！〃　cried　he；　〃I　am　a　child。〃

〃A　wayward；　much　spoilt　child；〃　she　said；　stroking　the　thick　hair；　for　his　head　still　lay　on　her　knee。　　〃Ah！　and　loved　far　more　than　he　believes；　and　yet　he　is　very　disobedient。　　Why　not　stay　as　we　are？　　Why　not　sacrifice　to　me　the　desires　that　hurt　me？　　Why　not　take　what　I　can　give；　when　it　is　all　that　I　can　honestly　grant？　　Are　you　not　happy？〃

〃Oh　yes；　I　am　happy　when　I　have　not　a　doubt　left。　　Antoinette；　doubt　in　love　is　a　kind　of　d