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what I paid for it。'



'Well�察�I don't know��' he said。  'You want some paper of 

identification。'



'To identify the chaise��' I inquired。



'Not at all�此�to identify YOU��' said he。



'My good sir�察�remember yourself��' said I。  'The title´deeds of my 

estate are in that despatch´box�察�but you do not seriously suppose 

that I should allow you to examine them��'



'Well�察�you see�察�this paper proves that some Mr。 Ramornie paid 

seventy guineas for a chaise��' said the fellow。  'That's all well 

and good�察�but who's to prove to me that you are Mr。 Ramornie��'



'Fellow��' cried I。



'O�察�fellow as much as you please��' said he。  'Fellow�察�with all my 

heart�  �That changes nothing。  I am fellow�察�of course ´ obtrusive 

fellow�察�impudent fellow�察�if you like ´ but who are you�拭 �I hear of 

you with two names�察�I hear of you running away with young ladies�察�

and getting cheered for a Frenchman�察�which seems odd�察�and one thing 

I will go bail for�察�that you were in a blue fright when the post´

boy began to tell tales at my door。  In short�察�sir�察�you may be a 

very good gentleman�察�but I don't know enough about you�察�and I'll 

trouble you for your papers�察�or to go before a magistrate。  Take 

your choice�察�if I'm not fine enough�察�I hope the magistrates are。'



'My good man��' I stammered�察�for though I had found my voice�察�I 

could scarce be said to have recovered my wits�察�'this is most 

unusual�察�most rude。  Is it the custom in Westmorland that gentlemen 

should be insulted��'



'That depends��' said he。  'When it's suspected that gentlemen are 

spies it IS the custom�察�and a good custom�察�too。  No no��' he broke 

out�察�perceiving me to make a movement。  'Both hands upon the table�察�

my gentleman�  �I want no pistol balls in my chaise panels。'



'Surely�察�sir�察�you do me strange injustice��' said I�察�now the master 

of myself。  'You see me sitting here�察�a monument of tranquillity�此�

pray may I help myself to wine without umbraging you��'



I took this attitude in sheer despair。  I had no plan�察�no hope。  

The best I could imagine was to spin the business out some minutes 

longer�察�then capitulate。  At least�察�I would not capituatle one 

moment too soon。



'Am I to take that for NO��' he asked。



'Referring to your former obliging proposal��' said I。  'My good 

sir�察�you are to take it�察�as you say�察�for ;No。;  Certainly I will 

not show you my deeds�察�certainly I will not rise from table and 

trundle out to see your magistrates。  I have too much respect for 

my digestion�察�and too little curiosity in justices of the peace。'



He leaned forward�察�looked me nearly in the face�察�and reached out 

one hand to the bell´rope。  'See here�察�my fine fellow��' said he。  

'Do you see that bell´rope�拭 �Let me tell you�察�there's a boy waiting 

below�此�one jingle�察�and he goes to fetch the constable。'



'Do you tell me so��' said I。  'Well�察�there's no accounting for 

tastes�  �I have a prejudice against the society of constables�察�but 

if it is your fancy to have one in for the dessert ´ '  I shrugged 

my shoulders lightly。  'Really�察�you know��' I added�察�'this is vastly 

entertaining。  I assure you�察�I am looking on�察�with all the interest 

of a man of the world�察�at the development of your highly original 

character。'



He continued to study my face without speech�察�his hand still on the 

button of the bell´rope�察�his eyes in mine�察�this was the decisive 

heat。  My face seemed to myself to dislimn under his gaze�察�my 

expression to change�察�the smile ��with which I had began�� to 

degenerate into the grin of the man upon the rack。  I was besides 

harassed with doubts。  An innocent man�察�I argued�察�would have 

resented the fellow's impudence an hour ago�察�and by my continued 

endurance of the ordeal�察�I was simply signing and sealing my 

confession�察�in short�察�I had reached the end of my powers。



'Have you any objection to my putting my hands in my breeches 

pockets��' I inquired。  'Excuse me mentioning it�察�but you showed 

yourself so extremely nervous a moment back。'  My voice was not all 

I could have wished�察�but it sufficed。  I could hear it tremble�察�but 

the landlord apparently could not。  He turned away and drew a long 

breath�察�and you may be sure I was quick to follow his example。



'You're a cool hand at least�察�and that's the sort I like��' said he。  

'Be you what you please�察�I'll deal square。  I'll take the chaise 

for a hundred pound down�察�and throw the dinner in。'



'I beg your pardon��' I cried�察�wholly mystified by this form of 

words。



'You pay me a hundred down��' he repeated�察�'and I'll take the 

chaise。  It's very little more than it cost��' he added�察�with a 

grin�察�'and you know you must get it off your hands somehow。'



I do not know when I have been better entertained than by this 

impudent proposal。  It was broadly funny�察�and I suppose the least 

tempting offer in the world。  For all that�察�it came very welcome�察�

for it gave me the occasion to laugh。  This I did with the most 

complete abandonment�察�till the tears ran down my cheeks�察�and ever 

and again�察�as the fit abated�察�I would get another view of the 

landlord's face�察�and go off into another paroxysm。



'You droll creature�察�you will be the death of me yet��' I cried�察�

drying my eyes。



My friend was now wholly disconcerted�察�he knew not where to look�察�

nor yet what to say�察�and began for the first time to conceive it 

possible he was mistaken。



'You seem rather to enjoy a laugh�察�sir��' said he。



'O�察�yes�  �I am quite an original��' I replied�察�and laughed again。



Presently�察�in a changed voice�察�he offered me twenty pounds for the 

chaise�察�I ran him up to twenty´five�察�and closed with the offer�此�

indeed�察�I was glad to get anything�察�and if I haggled�察�it was not in 

the desire of gain�察�but with the view at any price of securing a 

safe retreat。  For although hostilities were suspended�察�he was yet 

far from satisfied�察�and I could read his continued suspicions in 

the cloudy eye that still hovered about my face。  At last they took 

shape in words。



'This is all very well��' says he�此�'you carry it off well�察�but for 

all that�察�I must do my duty。'



I had my strong effect in reserve�察�it was to burn my ships with a 

vengeance�  �I rose。  'Leave the room��' said I。  'This is 

insuperable。  Is the man mad��'  And then�察�as if already half´

ashamed of my passion�此�'I can take a joke as well as any one��' I 

added�察�'but this passes measure。  Send my servant and the bill。'



When he had left me alone�察�I considered my own valour with 

amazement。  I had insulted him�察�I had sent him away alone�察�now�察�if 

ever�察�he would take what was the only sensible resource�察�and fetch 

the constable。  But there was something instinctively treacherous 

about the man which shrank from plain courses。  And�察�with all his 

cleverness�察�he missed the occasion of fame。  Rowley and I were 

suffered to walk out of his door�察�with all our baggage�察�on foot�察�

with no destination named�察�except in the vague statement that we 

were come 'to view the lakes'�察�and my friend only watched our 

departure with his chin in his hand�察�still moodily irresolute。



I think this one of my great successes。  I was exposed�察�unmasked�察�

summoned to do a perfectly natural act�察�which must prove my doom 

and which I had not the slightest pretext for refusing。  I kept my 

head�察�stuck to my guns�察�and�察�against all likelihood�察�here I was 

once more at liberty and in the king's highway。  This was a strong 

lesson never to despair�察�and�察�at the same time�察�how many hints to 

be cautious� �and what a perplexed and dubious business the whole 

question of my escape now appeared�  �That I should have risked 

perishing upon a trumpery question of a POURBOIRE�察�depicted in 

lively colours the perils that perpetually surrounded us。  Though�察�

to be sure�察�the initial mistake had been committed before that�察�and 

if I had not suffered myself to be drawn a little deep in 

confidences to the innocent Dolly�察�there need have been no tumble 

at the inn of Kirkby´Lonsdale。  I took the lesson to heart�察�and 

promised myself in the future to be more reserved。  It was none of 

my business to attend to broken chaises or shipwrecked travellers。  

I had my hands full of my own affairs�察�and my best defence would be 

a little more natural selfishness and a trifle less imbecile good´

nature。









CHAPTER XXV ´ I MEET A CHEERFUL EXTRAVAGANT





I PASS over the next fifty or sixty leagues of our journey without 

comment。  The reader must be growing weary of scenes of travel�察�and 

for my own part I have no cause to recall these particular miles 

with any pleasure。  We were mainly occupied with attempts to 

obliterate our trail�察�which ��as the result showed�� were far from 

successful�察�for�察�on my cousin following�察�he was able to run me home 

with the least possible loss of time�察�following the claret´coloured 

chaise to Kirkby´Lonsdale�察�where I think the landlord must have 

wept to learn what he had miss

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