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'You fool�察�you have done it now��'
'They do seem to have got 'old of your name�察�Mr。 Anne��' said
Rowley。 'It weren't my fault this time。'
'It was one of those accidents that can never be foreseen��' said I�察�
affecting a dignity that I was far from feeling。 'Some one
recognised me。'
'Which on 'em�察�Mr。 Anne��' said the rascal。
'That is a senseless question�察�it can make no difference who it
was��' I returned。
'No�察�nor that it can't��' cried Rowley。 'I say�察�Mr。 Anne�察�sir�察�it's
what you would call a jolly mess�察�ain't it�拭�looks like ;clean
bowled´out in the middle stump�察─�don't it��'
'I fail to understand you�察�Rowley。'
'Well�察�what I mean is�察�what are we to do about this one��' pointing
to the postillion in front of us�察�as he alternately hid and
revealed his patched breeches to the trot of his horse。 'He see
you get in this morning under Mr。 RAMORNIE ´ I was very piticular
to MR。 RAMORNIE you�察�if you remember�察�sir ´ and he see you get in
again under Mr。 Saint Eaves�察�and whatever's he going to see you get
out under�拭�that's what worries me�察�sir。 It don't seem to me like
as if the position was what you call STRATETEGIC��'
'PARRRBLEU� �will you let me be��' I cried。 'I have to think�察�you
cannot imagine how your constant idiotic prattle annoys me。'
'Beg pardon�察�Mr。 Anne��' said he�察�and the next moment�察�'You wouldn't
like for us to do our French now�察�would you�察�Mr。 Anne��'
'Certainly not��' said I。 'Play upon your flageolet。'
The which he did with what seemed to me to be irony。
Conscience doth make cowards of us all� �I was so downcast by my
pitiful mismanagement of the morning's business that I shrank from
the eye of my own hired infant�察�and read offensive meanings into
his idle tootling。
I took off my coat�察�and set to mending it�察�soldier´fashion�察�with a
needle and thread。 There is nothing more conducive to thought�察�
above all in arduous circumstances�察�and as I sewed�察�I gradually
gained a clearness upon my affairs。 I must be done with the
claret´coloured chaise at once。 It should be sold at the next
stage for what it would bring。 Rowley and I must take back to the
road on our four feet�察�and after a decent interval of trudging�察�get
places on some coach for Edinburgh again under new names� �So much
trouble and toil�察�so much extra risk and expense and loss of time�察�
and all for a slip of the tongue to a little lady in blue��
CHAPTER XXIV ´ THE INN´KEEPER OF KIRKBY´LONSDALE
I HAD hitherto conceived and partly carried out an ideal that was
dear to my heart。 Rowley and I descended from our claret´coloured
chaise�察�a couple of correctly dressed�察�brisk�察�bright´eyed young
fellows�察�like a pair of aristocratic mice�察�attending singly to our
own affairs�察�communicating solely with each other�察�and that with
the niceties and civilities of drill。 We would pass through the
little crowd before the door with high´bred preoccupation�察�
inoffensively haughty�察�after the best English pattern�察�and
disappear within�察�followed by the envy and admiration of the
bystanders�察�a model master and servant�察�point´device in every part。
It was a heavy thought to me�察�as we drew up before the inn at
Kirkby´Lonsdale�察�that this scene was now to be enacted for the last
time。 Alas� �and had I known it�察�it was to go of with so inferior a
grace��
I had been injudiciously liberal to the post´boys of the chaise and
four。 My own post´boy�察�he of the patched breeches�察�now stood
before me�察�his eyes glittering with greed�察�his hand advanced。 It
was plain he anticipated something extraordinary by way of a
POURBOIRE�察�and considering the marches and counter´marches by which
I had extended the stage�察�the military character of our affairs
with Mr。 Bellamy�察�and the bad example I had set before him at the
archdeacon's�察�something exceptional was certainly to be done。 But
these are always nice questions�察�to a foreigner above all�此�a shade
too little will suggest niggardliness�察�a shilling too much smells
of hush´money。 Fresh from the scene at the archdeacon's�察�and
flushed by the idea that I was now nearly done with the
responsibilities of the claret´coloured chaise�察�I put into his
hands five guineas�察�and the amount served only to waken his
cupidity。
'O�察�come�察�sir�察�you ain't going to fob me of with this�拭 �Why�察�I seen
fire at your side��' he cried。
It would never do to give him more�察�I felt I should become the
fable of Kirkby´Lonsdale if I did�察�and I looked him in the face�察�
sternly but still smiling�察�and addressed him with a voice of
uncompromising firmness。
'If you do not like it�察�give it back��' said I。
He pocketed the guineas with the quickness of a conjurer�察�and�察�like
a base´born cockney as he was�察�fell instantly to casting dirt。
' 'Ave your own way of it�察�Mr。 Ramornie ´ leastways Mr。 St。 Eaves�察�
or whatever your blessed name may be。 Look 'ere' ´ turning for
sympathy to the stable´boys ´ 'this is a blessed business。 Blessed
'ard�察�I calls it。 'Ere I takes up a blessed son of a pop´gun what
calls hisself anything you care to mention�察�and turns out to be a
blessed MOUNSEER at the end of it� �'Ere 'ave I been drivin' of him
up and down all day�察�a´carrying off of gals�察�a´shootin' of
pistyils�察�and a´drinkin' of sherry and hale�察�and wot does he up and
give me but a blank�察�blank�察�blanketing blank��'
The fellow's language had become too powerful for reproduction�察�and
I passed it by。
Meanwhile I observed Rowley fretting visibly at the bit�察�another
moment�察�and he would have added a last touch of the ridiculous to
our arrival by coming to his hands with the postillion。
'Rowley��' cried I reprovingly。
Strictly it should have been Gammon�察�but in the hurry of the
moment�察�my fault ��I can only hope�� passed unperceived。 At the same
time I caught the eye of the postmaster。 He was long and lean�察�and
brown and bilious�察�he had the drooping nose of the humourist�察�and
the quick attention of a man of parts。 He read my embarrassment in
a glance�察�stepped instantly forward�察�sent the post´boy to the
rightabout with half a word�察�and was back next moment at my side。
'Dinner in a private room�察�sir�拭 �Very well。 John�察�No。 4� �What
wine would you care to mention�拭 �Very well�察�sir。 Will you please
to order fresh horses�拭 �Not�察�sir�拭 �Very well。'
Each of these expressions was accompanied by something in the
nature of a bow�察�and all were prefaced by something in the nature
of a smile�察�which I could very well have done without。 The man's
politeness was from the teeth outwards�察�behind and within�察�I was
conscious of a perpetual scrutiny�此�the scene at his doorstep�察�the
random confidences of the post´boy�察�had not been thrown away on
this observer�察�and it was under a strong fear of coming trouble
that I was shown at last into my private room。 I was in half a
mind to have put off the whole business。 But the truth is�察�now my
name had got abroad�察�my fear of the mail that was coming�察�and the
handbills it should contain�察�had waxed inordinately�察�and I felt I
could never eat a meal in peace till I had severed my connection
with the claret´coloured chaise。
Accordingly�察�as soon as I had done with dinner�察�I sent my
compliments to the landlord and requested he should take a glass of
wine with me。 He came�察�we exchanged the necessary civilities�察�and
presently I approached my business。
'By the bye��' said I�察�'we had a brush down the road to´day。 I dare
say you may have heard of it��'
He nodded。
'And I was so unlucky as to get a pistol ball in the panel of my
chaise��' I continued�察�'which makes it simply useless to me。 Do you
know any one likely to buy��'
'I can well understand that��' said the landlord�察�'I was looking at
it just now�察�it's as good as ruined�察�is that chaise。 General rule�察�
people don't like chaises with bullet´holes。'
'Too much ROMANCE OF THE FOREST��' I suggested�察�recalling my little
friend of the morning�察�and what I was sure had been her favourite
reading ´ Mrs。 Radcliffe's novels。
'Just so��' said he。 'They may be right�察�they may be wrong�察�I'm not
the judge。 But I suppose it's natural�察�after all�察�for respectable
people to like things respectable about them�察�not bullet´holes�察�nor
puddles of blood�察�nor men with aliases。'
I took a glass of wine and held it up to the light to show that my
hand was steady。
'Yes��' said I�察�'I suppose so。'
'You have papers�察�of course�察�showing you are the proper owner��' he
inquired。
'There is the bill�察�stamped and receipted��' said I�察�tossing it
across to him。
He looked at it。
'This all you have��' he asked。
'It is enough�察�at least��' said I。 'It shows you where I bought and
what I paid for it。'
'Well�察�I don't know��' he said。 'You want some paper of
identification。'
'To identify the chaise��' I