burlesques-第49节

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a　tayspoonful　of　souchong；　nor　a　thimbleful　of　bohay；　nor　the　laste

taste　in　life　of　butther；　salt　or　fresh；　nor　hot　rowls　or　cowld！〃



〃In　the　name　of　heaven！〃　said　Mrs。　Van；　growing　very　pale；　〃what　is

there；　then？〃



〃Ladies　and　gentlemen；　I'll　tell　you　what　there　is　now；〃　shouted　I。

〃There's





　　　　　〃Two　drumsticks　of　fowls；　and　a　bone　of　ham。

　　　　　　Fourteen　bottles　of　ginger…beer；〃　&c。　&c。　&c。





And　I　went　through　the　whole　list　of　eatables　as　before；　ending

with　the　ham…sandwiches　and　the　pot　of　jelly。



〃Law！　Mr。　Gahagan；〃　said　Mrs。　Colonel　Vandegobbleschroy；　〃give　me

the　ham…sandwichesI　must　manage　to　breakfast　off　them。〃



And　you　should　have　heard　the　pretty　to…do　there　was　at　this　modest

proposition！　　Of　course　I　did　not　accede　to　itwhy　should　I？　　I

was　the　commander　of　the　fort；　and　intended　to　keep　these　three

very　sandwiches　for　the　use　of　myself　and　my　dear　Belinda。

〃Ladies；〃　said　I；　〃there　are　in　this　fort　one　hundred　and　twenty…

six　souls；　and　this　is　all　the　food　which　is　to　last　us　during　the

siege。　　Meat　there　is　noneof　drink　there　is　a　tolerable　quantity；

and　at　one　o'clock　punctually；　a　glass　of　wine　and　one　olive　shall

be　served　out　to　each　woman：　the　men　will　receive　two　glasses；　and

an　olive　and　a　figand　this　must　be　your　food　during　the　siege。

Lord　Lake　cannot　be　absent　more　than　three　days；　and　if　he　bewhy；

still　there　is　a　chancewhy　do　I　say　a　chance？a　CERTAINTY　of

escaping　from　the　hands　of　these　ruffians。〃



〃Oh；　name　it；　name　it；　dear　Captain　Gahagan！〃　screeched　the　whole

covey　at　a　breath。



〃It　lies；〃　answered　I；　〃in　the　POWDER　MAGAZINE。　　I　will　blow　this

fort；　and　all　it　contains；　to　atoms；　ere　it　becomes　the　prey　of

Holkar。〃



The　women；　at　this；　raised　a　squeal　that　might　have　been　heard　in

Holkar's　camp；　and　fainted　in　different　directions；　but　my　dear

Belinda　whispered　in　my　ear；　〃Well　done；　thou　noble　knight！　bravely

said；　my　heart's　Goliah！〃　　I　felt　I　was　right：　I　could　have　blown

her　up　twenty　times　for　the　luxury　of　that　single　moment！　　〃And

now；　ladies；〃　said　I；　〃I　must　leave　you。　　The　two　chaplains　will

remain　with　you　to　administer　professional　consolationthe　other

gentlemen　will　follow　me　up　stairs　to　the　ramparts；　where　I　shall

find　plenty　of　work　for　them。〃





CHAPTER　VII。



THE　ESCAPE。





Loth　as　they　were；　these　gentlemen　had　nothing　for　it　but　to　obey；

and　they　accordingly　followed　me　to　the　ramparts；　where　I　proceeded

to　review　my　men。　　The　fort；　in　my　absence；　had　been　left　in

command　of　Lieutenant　Macgillicuddy；　a　countryman　of　my　own　（with

whom；　as　may　be　seen　in　an　early　chapter　of　my　memoirs；　I　had　an

affair　of　honor）；　and　the　prisoner　Bobbachy　Bahawder；　whom　I　had

only　stunned；　never　wishing　to　kill　him；　had　been　left　in　charge　of

that　officer。　　Three　of　the　garrison　（one　of　them　a　man　of　the

Ahmednuggar　Irregulars；　my　own　body…servant；　Ghorumsaug　above

named；）　were　appointed　to　watch　the　captive　by　turns；　and　never

leave　him　out　of　their　sight。　　The　lieutenant　was　instructed　to

look　to　them　and　to　their　prisoner；　and　as　Bobbachy　was　severely

injured　by　the　blow　which　I　had　given　him；　and　was；　moreover；　bound

hand　and　foot；　and　gagged　smartly　with　cords；　I　considered　myself

sure　of　his　person。



Macgillicuddy　did　not　make　his　appearance　when　I　reviewed　my　little

force；　and　the　three　havildars　were　likewise　absent：　this　did　not

surprise　me；　as　I　had　told　them　not　to　leave　their　prisoner；　but

desirous　to　speak　with　the　lieutenant；　I　despatched　a　messenger　to

him；　and　ordered　him　to　appear　immediately。



The　messenger　came　back；　he　was　looking　ghastly　pale：　he　whispered

some　information　into　my　ear；　which　instantly　caused　me　to　hasten

to　the　apartments　where　I　had　caused　Bobbachy　Bahawder　to　be

confined。



The　men　had　fled；Bobbachy　had　fled；　and　in　his　place；　fancy　my

astonishment　when　I　foundwith　a　rope　cutting　his　naturally　wide

mouth　almost　into　his　earswith　a　dreadful　sabre…cut　across　his

foreheadwith　his　legs　tied　over　his　head；　and　his　arms　tied

between　his　legsmy　unhappy；　my　attached　friendMortimer

Macgillicuddy！



He　had　been　in　this　position　for　about　three　hoursit　was　the　very

position　in　which　I　had　caused　Bobbachy　Bahawder　to　be　placedan

attitude　uncomfortable；　it　is　true；　but　one　which　renders　escape

impossible；　unless　treason　aid　the　prisoner。



I　restored　the　lieutenant　to　his　natural　erect　position：　I　poured

half　a　bottle　of　whiskey　down　the　immensely　enlarged　orifice　of　his

mouth；　and　when　he　had　been　released；　he　informed　me　of　the

circumstances　that　had　taken　place。



Fool　that　I　was！　idiot！upon　my　return　to　the　fort；　to　have　been

anxious　about　my　personal　appearance；　and　to　have　spent　a　couple　of

hours　in　removing　the　artificial　blackening　from　my　beard　and

complexion；　instead　of　going　to　examine　my　prisonerwhen　his

escape　would　have　been　prevented。　　O　foppery；　foppery！it　was　that

cursed　love　of　personal　appearance　which　had　led　me　to　forget　my

duty　to　my　general；　my　country；　my　monarch；　and　my　own　honor！



Thus　it　was　that　the　escape　took　place：My　own　fellow　of　the

Irregulars；　whom　I　had　summoned　to　dress　me；　performed　the

operation　to　my　satisfaction；　invested　me　with　the　elegant　uniform

of　my　corps；　and　removed　the　Pitan's　disguise；　which　I　had　taken

from　the　back　of　the　prostrate　Bobbachy　Bahawder。　　What　did　the

rogue　do　next？Why；　he　carried　back　the　dress　to　the　Bobbachyhe

put　it；　once　more；　on　its　right　owner；　he　and　his　infernal　black

companions　（who　had　been　won　over　by　the　Bobbachy　with　promises　of

enormous　reward）；　gagged　Macgillicuddy；　who　was　going　the　rounds；

and　then　marched　with　the　Indian　coolly　up　to　the　outer　gate；　and

gave　the　word。　　The　sentinel；　thinking　it　was　myself；　who　had　first

come　in；　and　was　as　likely　to　go　out　again；（indeed　my　rascally

valet　said　that　Gahagan　Sahib　was　about　to　go　out　with　him　and　his

two　companions　to　reconnoitre；）opened　the　gates；　and　off　they

went！



This　accounted　for　the　confusion　of　my　valet　when　I　entered！and

for　the　scoundrel's　speech；　that　the　lieutenant　had　JUST　BEEN　THE

ROUNDS；he　HAD；　poor　fellow；　and　had　been　seized　and　bound　in　this

cruel　way。　　The　three　men；　with　their　liberated　prisoner；　had　just

been　on　the　point　of　escape；　when　my　arrival　disconcerted　them：　I

had　changed　the　guard　at　the　gate　（whom　they　had　won　over

likewise）；　and　yet；　although　they　had　overcome　poor　Mac；　and

although　they　were　ready　for　the　start；　they　had　positively　no

means　for　effecting　their　escape；　until　I　was　ass　enough　to　put

means　in　their　way。　　Fool！　fool！　thrice　besotted　fool　that　I　was；

to　think　of　my　own　silly　person　when　I　should　have　been　occupied

solely　with　my　public　duty。



From　Macgillicuddy's　incoherent　accounts；　as　he　was　gasping　from

the　effects　of　the　gag　and　the　whiskey　he　had　taken　to　revive　him；

and　from　my　own　subsequent　observations；　I　learned　this　sad　story。

A　sudden　and　painful　thought　struck　memy　precious　box！I　rushed

back；　I　found　that　boxI　have　it　still。　　Opening　it；　there；　where

I　had　left　ingots；　sacks　of　bright　tomauns；　kopeks　and　rupees；

strings　of　diamonds　as　big　as　ducks'　eggs；　rubies　as　red　as　the

lips　of　my　Belinda；　countless　strings　of　pearls；　amethysts；

emeralds；　piles　upon　piles　of　bank…notesI　founda　piece　of

paper！　with　a　few　lines　in　the　Sanscrit　language；　which　are　thus；

word　for　word；　translated：





　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃EPIGRAM。



　　　　　　　　〃（On　disappointing　a　certain　Major。）



　　　　　〃The　conquering　Lion　return'd　with　his　prey；

　　　　　　And　safe　in　his　cavern　he　set　it；

　　　　　　The　sly　little　fox　stole　the　booty　away；

　　　　　　And；　as　he　escaped；　to　the　lion　did　say；

　　　　　　'AHA！　don't　you　wish　you　may　get　it？'〃





Confusion！　　Oh；　how　my　blood　boiled　as　I　read　these　cutting　lines。

I　stamped；I　swore；I　don't　know　to　what　insane　lengths　my　rage

might　have　carried　me；　had　not　at　this　moment　a　soldier　rushed　in；

screaming；　〃The　enemy；　the　enemy！〃





CHAPTER　VIII。



THE　CAPTIVE。





It　was　high　time；　indeed；　that　I　should　make　my　appearance。　　Waving

my　sword　with　one　hand；　and　seizing　my　telescope　with　the　other；　I

at　once　frightened　and　examined　the　enemy。　　Well　they　knew　when

they　saw　that　flamingo…plume　floating　in　the　breezethat　awful

figure　standing　in　the　breachthat　waving　war…sword　sparkling　in

the　skywell；　I　say；　they　knew　the　name　of　the　humble　individual

who　owned　the　sword；　the　plume；　and　the　figure。　　The　ruffians　were

mustered　in　front；　the　cavalry　behind。　　The　flags　were　flying；　the

drums；　gongs；　tambourines；　violoncellos；　and　other　instruments　of

Eastern　music；　raised　in　the　air　a　strange；　barbaric　melody；　the

officers　（yatabals）；　mounted　on　white　dromedaries；　were　seen

galloping　to　and　fro；　carrying　to　the　advancing　hosts　the　orders　of

Holkar。



You　see　that　two　sides　of　the　fort　of　Futtyghur　（rising　as　it　does

on　a　rock　that　is　almost　perpendicular）　are　defended