the golden age(金色时代)-第28节
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hiatuses and interpolations in the French tongue； then the red flag was
flown； the storm…cone hoisted； and by a studious pretence of inattention
we were not long in plucking out the heart of the mystery。
To clinch our conclusion； we descended suddenly and together on
Martha； proceeding； however； not by simple inquiry as to facts； that
would never have done；but by informing her that the air was full of
school and that we knew all about it； and then challenging denial。
Martha was a trusty soul； but a bad witness for the defence； and we soon
had it all out of her。 The word had gone forth； the school had been
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selected； the necessary sheets were hemming even now； and Edward was
the designated and appointed victim。
It had always been before us as an inevitable bourne； this strange
unknown thing called school； and yetperhaps I should say consequently…
…we had never seriously set ourselves to consider what it really meant。
But now that the grim spectre loomed imminent； stretching lean hands for
one of our flock； it behoved us to face the situation； to take soundings in
this uncharted sea and find out whither we were drifting。 Unfortunately；
the data in our possession were absolutely insufficient； and we knew not
whither to turn for exact information。 Uncle Thomas could have told us
all about it； of course； he had been there himself； once； in the dim and
misty past。 But an unfortunate conviction； that Nature had intended him
for a humourist； tainted all his evidence； besides making it wearisome to
hear。 Again； of such among our contemporaries as we had approached；
the trumpets gave forth an uncertain sound。 According to some； it meant
larks； revels； emancipation； and a foretaste of the bliss of manhood。
According to others；the majority； alas！it was a private and peculiar
Hades； that could give the original institution points and a beating。 When
Edward was observed to be swaggering round with a jaunty air and his
chest stuck out； I knew that he was contemplating his future from the one
point of view。 When； on the contrary； he was subdued and unaggressive；
and sought the society of his sisters； I recognised that the other aspect was
in the ascendant。 〃You can always run away； you know；〃 I used to
remark consolingly on these latter occasions； and Edward would brighten
up wonderfully at the suggestion； while Charlotte melted into tears before
her vision of a brother with blistered feet and an empty belly； passing
nights of frost 'neath the lee of windy haystacks。
It was to Edward； of course； that the situation was chiefly productive
of anxiety； and yet the ensuing change in my own circumstances and
position furnished me also with food for grave reflexion。 Hitherto I had
acted mostly to orders。 Even when I had devised and counselled any
particular devilry； it had been carried out on Edward's approbation； andas
eldestat his special risk。 Henceforward I began to be anxious of the
bugbear Responsibility； and to realise what a soul…throttling thing it is。
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True； my new position would have its compensations。
Edward had been masterful exceedingly； imperious； perhaps a little
narrow； impassioned for hard facts； and with scant sympathy for make…
believe。 I should now be free and untrammelled； in the conception and
carrying out of a scheme； I could accept and reject to better artistic
purpose。
It would； moreover； be needless to be a Radical any more。 Radical I
never was； really； by nature or by sympathy。 The part had been thrust on
me one day； when Edward proposed to foist the House of Lords on our
small Republic。 The principles of the thing he set forth learnedly and
well； and it all sounded promising enough； till he went on to explain that；
for the present at least； he proposed to be the House of Lords himself。
We others were to be the Commons。 There would be promotions； of
course； he added； dependent on service and on fitness； and open to both
sexes； and to me in especial he held out hopes of speedy advancement。
But in its initial stages the thing wouldn't work properly unless he were
first and only Lord。 Then I put my foot down promptly； and said it was
all rot； and I didn't see the good of any House of Lords at all。 〃Then you
must be a low Radical！ said Edward； with fine contempt。 The inference
seemed hardly necessary； but what could I do？ I accepted the situation；
and said firmly； Yes； I was a low Radical。 In this monstrous character I
had been obliged to masquerade ever since； but now I could throw it off；
and look the world in the face again。
And yet； did this and other gains really out…balance my losses？
Henceforth I should； it was true； be leader and chief； but I should also be
the buffer between the Olympians and my little clan。 To Edward this had
been nothing； he had withstood the impact of Olympus without flinching；
like Teneriffe or Atlas unremoved。 But was I equal to the task？ And
was there not rather a danger that for the sake of peace and quietness I
might be tempted to compromise； compound； and make terms？ sinking
thus； by successive lapses； into the Blameless Prig？ I don't mean； of
course； that I thought out my thoughts to the exact point here set down。
In those fortunate days of old one was free from the hard necessity of
transmuting the vague idea into the mechanical inadequate medium of
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words。 But the feeling was there； that I might not possess the qualities of
character for so delicate a position。
The unnatural halo round Edward got more pronounced； his own
demeanour more responsible and dignified； with the arrival of his new
clothes。 When his trunk and play…box were sent in； the approaching
cleavage between our brother； who now belonged to the future； and
ourselves； still claimed by the past； was accentuated indeed。 His name
was painted on each of them； in large letters； and after their arrival their
owner used to disappear mysteriously； and be found eventually wandering
round his luggage； murmuring to himself； 〃Edward； in a rapt； remote
sort of way。 It was a weakness； of course； and pointed to a soft spot in
his character； but those who can remember the sensation of first seeing
their names in print will not think hardly of him。
As the short days sped by and the grim event cast its shadow longer
and longer across our threshold； an unnatural politeness； a civility scarce
canny； began to pervade the air。 In those latter hours Edward himself
was frequently heard to say 〃Please； and also 〃Would you mind fetchin'
that ball？〃 while Harold and I would sometimes actually find ourselves
trying to anticipate his wishes。 As for the girls； they simply grovelled。
The Olympians； too； in their uncouth way； by gift of carnal delicacies and
such…like indulgence； seemed anxious to demonstrate that they had
hitherto misjudged this one of us。 Altogether the situation grew strained
and false； and I think a general relief was felt when the end came。
We all trooped down to the station； of course； it is only in later years
that the farce of 〃seeing people off〃 is seen in its true colours。 Edward
was the life and soul of the party； and if his gaiety struck one at times as
being a trifle ov
