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be   no   drawing   back   from  the bargain察  and   then察 as   the   things had   to   be 

taken out of the window and packed察and the afternoon was yet young察he 

thought   he   might   treat   himself   to   a   taste   of   urban   joys   and   la   vie   de 

Boheme。         Shops      came     first察 of   course察   and    he   flattened    his   nose 

successively against the window with the india´rubber balls in it察and the 

clock´work   locomotive察  and   against   the   barber's   window察  with   wigs   on 

blocks察reminding him of uncles察and shaving´cream that looked so good 

to eat察and the grocer's window察displaying more currants than the whole 

British   population   could   possibly   consume   without   a   special   effort察  and 

the window of the bank察wherein gold was thought so little of that it was 

dealt   about   in   shovels。     Next   there   was   the   market´   place察  with   all   its 

clamorous   joys察  and   when   a   runaway   calf   came   down   the   street   like   a 

cannon´ball察Harold felt that he had not lived in vain。                   The whole place 



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was so brimful of excitement that he had quite forgotten the why and the 

wherefore of his being there察when a sight of the church clock recalled him 

to his better self察and sent him flying out of the town察as he realised he had 

only just time enough left to get back in。                If he were after his appointed 

hour察  he   would   not   only   miss   his   high   triumph察  but   probably   would   be 

detected   as   a   transgressor   of   boundsa   crime   before   which   a   private 

opinion on multiplication sank to nothingness。                  So he jogged along on his 

homeward way察thinking of many things察and probably talking to himself a 

good deal察as his habit was察and had covered nearly half the distance察when 

suddenlya deadly sinking in the pit of his stomacha paralysis of every 

limbaround him  a   world   extinct   of   light   and   musica   black   sun   and   a 

reeling skyhe had forgotten the tea´ things 

     It was useless察it was hopeless察all was over察and nothing could now be 

done察  nevertheless   he   turned   and   ran   back   wildly察  blindly察  choking   with 

the    big   sobs    that  evoked      neither    pity   nor   comfort     from    a  merciless 

mocking   world   around察  a   stitch   in   his   side察  dust   in   his   eyes察  and   black 

despair clutching at his heart。            So he stumbled on察with leaden legs and 

bursting sides察tillas if Fate had not yet dealt him her last worst buffet 

on turning a corner in the road he almost ran under the wheels of a dog´ 

cart察  in   which察  as   it   pulled   up察  was   apparent   the   portly   form   of   Farmer 

Larkin察  the   arch´enemy察  whose   ducks   he   had   been   shying   stones   at   that 

very morning 

     Had   Harold   been   in   his   right   and   unclouded   senses察  he   would   have 

vanished   through   the   hedge   some   seconds   earlier察  rather   than   pain   the 

farmer by any unpleasant reminiscences which his appearance might call 

up察but as things were察he could only stand and blubber hopelessly察caring察

indeed察little now what further ill might befall him。                   The farmer察for his 

part察surveyed the desolate figure with some astonishment察calling out in 

no   unfriendly   accents察   Why察  Master   Harold   whatever   be   the   matter拭

Baint runnin' away察be ee拭─

     Then   Harold察  with   the   unnatural   courage   born   of   desperation察  flung 

himself   on   the   step察  and   climbing   into   the   cart察  fell   in   the   straw   at   the 

bottom   of   it察  sobbing   out     that   he   wanted   to   go    back察  go   back     The 

situation   had   a   vagueness察  but   the   farmer察  a   man   of   action   rather   than 



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words察swung his horse round smartly察and they were in the town again by 

the time Harold had recovered himself sufficiently to furnish some details。 

As they drove up to the shop察the woman was waiting at the door with the 

parcel察and hardly a minute seemed to have elapsed since the black crisis察

ere they were bowling along swiftly home察the precious parcel hugged in a 

close embrace。 

     And   now   the   farmer   came   out   in   quite   a   new   and   unexpected   light。 

Never a word did he say of broken fences and hurdles察of trampled crops 

and   harried   flocks   and   herds。     One   would   have   thought   the   man      had 

never possessed a head of live stock in his life。              Instead察he was deeply 

interested in the whole dolorous quest of the tea´things察and sympathised 

with    Harold    on   the  disputed    point   in  mathematics      as  if  he  had   been 

himself   at   the   same   stage   of   education。   As   they   neared   home察  Harold 

found himself察to his surprise察sitting up and chatting to his new friend like 

man to man察and before he was dropped at a convenient gap in the garden 

hedge察he had promised that when Selina gave her first public tea´party察

little Miss Larkin should be invited to come and bring ha whole sawdust 

family along with her察and the farmer appeared as pleased and proud as if 

he hat been asked to a garden´party at Marlborough House。                   Really察those 

Olympians have certain good points察far down in them。                     I shall have to 

leave off abusing them some day。 

     At the  hour  of   five察 Selina察having   spent the  afternoon searching   for 

Harold in all his accustomed haunts察sat down disconsolately to tea with 

her dolls察  who   ungenerously  refused to   wait beyond   the  appointed   hour。 

The   wooden   tea´things   seemed   more   chipped   than   usual察  and   the   dolls 

themselves had more of wax and sawdust察and less of human colour and 

intelligence about them察  than she   ever   remembered before。               It   was   then 

that Harold burst in察very dusty察his stockings at his heels察and the channels 

ploughed by tears still showing on his grimy cheeks察and Selina was at last 

permitted   to   know   that   he   had   been   thinking   of   her   ever   since   his   ill´ 

judged exhibition of temper察and that his sulks had not been the genuine 

article察nor had he gone frogging by himself。             It was a very happy hostess 

who dispensed hospitality that evening to a glassy´eyed stiff´kneed circle察

and many a dollish gaucherie察that would have been severely checked on 



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ordinary occasions察was as much overlooked as if it had been a birthday。 

     But    Harold     and   I察 in  our   stupid    masculine      way察  thought     all  her 

happiness sprang from possession of the long´coveted tea´ service。 



     ;LUSISTI SATIS ; 

     Among the   many  fatuous ideas that possessed   the   Olympian noddle察

this   one   was   pre´eminent察  that察  being   Olympians察  they   could   talk   quite 

freely in our presence on subjects of the closest import to us察so long as 

names察dates察and other landmarks were ignored。                    We were supposed to 

be   denied     the   faculty   for   putting   two   and   two   together察  and察  like   the 

monkeys察who very sensibly refrain from speech lest they should be set to 

earn their livings察we were careful to conceal our capabilities for a simple 

syllogism。        Thus     we    were    rarely    taken    by   surprise察   and    so   were 

considered   by   our   disappointed   elders   to   be   apathetic   and   to   lack   the 

divine capacity for wonder。 

     Now the daily output of the letter´bag察with the mysterious discussions 

that   ensued   thereon察  had   speedily   informed   us   that   Uncle   Thomas   was 

intrusted     with   a  missiona     mission察    too察 affecting    ourselves。     Uncle 

Thomas's   missions   were   many   and   various察  a   self´important   man察  one 

liking the business while protesting that he sank under the burden察he was 

the   missionary察  so   to   speak察  of   our   remote   habitation。    The   matching   a 

ribbon察the running down to the stores察the interviewing a cookthese and 

similar duties lent constant colour and variety to his vacant life in London 

and helped to keep down his figure。                When the matter察however察had in 

our   presence   to   be   referred   to   with   nods   and   pronouns察  with   significant 

hiatuses   and   interpolations   in   the   French   tongue察  then   the   red   flag   was 

flown察 the   storm´con

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