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picturesque attitudes and do it comfortably。             Or if they want to do it out 

of doors they have a ruined abbey�察�with a big stone seat in the center�察�and 

moonlight。 

     The comic lovers�察�on the other hand�察�have to do it standing up all the 

time�察�in busy streets�察�or in cheerless´looking and curiously narrow rooms 

in which there is no furniture whatever and no fire。 

     And there is always a tremendous row going on in the house when the 

comic lovers are making love。            Somebody always seems to be putting up 

pictures in the next room�察�and putting them up boisterously�察�too�察�so that the 

comic lovers have to shout at each other。 



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                                        STAGE´LAND。 



                          THE PEASANTS。 



     They are so clean。        We have seen peasantry off the stage�察�and it has 

presented      an    untidyoccasionally        a   disreputable     and     unwashed 

appearance�察  �but   the   stage   peasant   seems   to   spend   all   his   wages   on   soap 

and hair´oil。 

     They  are   always   round  the   corneror   rather   round   the   two   corners 

and they come on in a couple of streams and meet in the center�察�and when 

they are in their proper position they smile。 

     There is nothing like the stage peasants' smile in this worldnothing 

so perfectly inane�察�so calmly imbecile。 

     They are so happy。        They don't look it�察�but we know they are because 

they say so。     If you don't believe them�察�they dance three steps to the right 

and three steps to the left back again。           They can't help it。      It is because 

they are so happy。 

     When they are more than usually rollicking they stand in a semicircle�察�

with   their   hands   on   each   other's   shoulders�察  �and   sway   from   side   to   side�察�

trying to   make   themselves   sick。      But this   is only  when   they  are   simply 

bursting with joy。 

     Stage peasants never have any work to do。 

     Sometimes we see them going to work�察�sometimes coming home from 

work�察�but nobody has ever seen them actually at work。                   They could not 

afford to workit would spoil their clothes。 

     They are very sympathetic�察�are stage peasants。               They never seem to 

have any affairs of their own to think about�察�but they make up for this by 

taking a three´hundred´horse´power interest in things in which they have 

no earthly concern。 

     What     particularly   rouses   them   is   the  heroine's   love   affairs。   They 

could listen to them all day。 

     They yearn to hear what she said to him and to be told what he replied 

to her�察�and they repeat it to each other。 

     In our own   love´sick days   we often   used to   go and   relate to various 

people   all   the   touching   conversations   that   took   place   between   our   lady´ 



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                                         STAGE´LAND。 



love   and   ourselves�察  �but   our   friends   never   seemed   to   get   excited   over   it。 

On the contrary�察�a casual observer might even have been led to the idea 

that they were bored by our recital。           And they had trains to catch and men 

to meet before we had got a quarter through the job。 

     Ah�察�how often in those days have we yearned for the sympathy of a 

stage peasantry�察�who would have crowded round us�察�eager not to miss one 

word of the thrilling narrative�察�who would have rejoiced with us with an 

encouraging laugh�察�and have condoled with us with a grieved ;Oh�察─�and 

who   would   have   gone   off�察  �when   we   had   had   enough   of   them�察  �singing 

about it。 

     By the way�察�this is a very beautiful trait in the character of the stage 

peasantry�察  �their   prompt   and   unquestioning   compliance   with   the   slightest 

wish of any of the principals。 

     ;Leave me�察�friends�察─�says the heroine�察�beginning to make preparations 

for weeping�察�and before she can turn round they are clean goneone lot to 

the right�察�evidently making for the back entrance of the public´house�察�and 

the other half   to   the left�察  �where they  visibly  hide themselves behind   the 

pump and wait till somebody else wants them。 

     The stage peasantry do not talk much�察�their strong point being to listen。 

When      they   cannot    get   any   more    information      about    the  state   of  the 

heroine's   heart�察  �they   like   to   be   told   long   and   complicated   stories   about 

wrongs done years ago to people that they never heard of。                   They seem to 

be able to grasp and understand these stories with ease。                  This makes the 

audience envious of them。 

     When the stage peasantry do talk�察�however�察�they soon make up for lost 

time。     They   start   off   all   together   with   a   suddenness   that   nearly   knocks 

you over。 

     They all talk。      Nobody listens。        Watch any two of them。            They are 

both   talking   as   hard   as   they   can   go。  They   have   been   listening   quite 

enough   to   other   people�此    �you   can't   expect   them   to   listen   to   each   other。 

But the conversation under such conditions must be very trying。 

     And then they flirt so sweetly� �so idyllicly� �

     It has been our privilege to see real peasantry flirt�察�and it has always 

struck   us   as   a   singularly   solid   and   substantial   affairmakes   one   think�察�



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somehow�察�of a   steam´roller flirting   with a   cowbut on   the stage it is so 

sylph´like。     She has short skirts�察�and her stockings are so much tidier and 

better fitting than these things are in real peasant life�察�and she is arch and 

coy。    She turns away from him and laughssuch a silvery laugh。                      And 

he is ruddy and curly haired and has on such a beautiful waistcoat� �how 

can she help but love him�拭           �And he is so tender and devoted and holds 

her by the waist�察�and she slips round and comes up the other side。                   Oh�察�it 

is so bewitching� �

     The stage peasantry like to do their love´making as much in public as 

possible。     Some   people   fancy   a   place   all   to   themselves   for   this   sort   of 

thingwhere   nobody   else       is  about。    We    ourselves    do。   But    the   stage 

peasant     is  more    sociably   inclined。     Give    him    the  village   green�察  �just 

outside the public´house�察�or the square on market´day to do his spooning 

in。 

     They are very faithful�察�are stage peasants。             No jilting�察�no fickleness�察�

no breach of promise。         If the gentleman in pink walks out with the lady in 

blue in the first act�察�pink and blue will be married in the end。             He sticks to 

her all through and she sticks to him。 

     Girls in yellow may come and go�察�girls in green may laugh and dance´ 

´the gentleman in pink heeds them not。               Blue is his color�察�and he never 

leaves it。    He stands beside it�察�he sits beside it。           He drinks with her�察�he 

smiles with her�察�he laughs with her�察�he dances with her�察�he comes on with 

her�察�he goes off with her。 

     When the time comes for talking he talks to her and only her�察�and she 

talks to him and only him。          Thus there is no jealousy�察�no quarreling。 But 

we should prefer an occasional change ourselves。 

     There     are   no   married    people    in   stage   villages   and    no   children 

��consequently�察  �of   course´happy   village�   �oh�察  �to   discover   it   and   spend   a 

month   there�。�。     There     are   just  the  same    number   of    men   as  there   are 

women in all stage villages�察�and they are all about the same age and each 

young man loves some young woman。                 But they never marry。 

     They   talk   a   lot   about   it�察  �but   they   never   do   it。 The   artful   beggars� �

They see too much what it's like among the principals。 

     The stage peasant is fond of drinking�察�and when he drinks he likes to 



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let you know he is drinking。          None of your quiet half´pint inside the bar 

for him。     He likes to come out in the street and sing about it and do tricks 

with it�察�such as turning it topsy´turvy over his head。 

     Notwithstanding all this he is moderate�察�mind you。               You can't say he 

takes too much。       One small jug of ale among forty is his usual allowance。 

     He    has   a  keen   sense   of   humor    and   is  easily   amused。     There     is 

something   almost   pathetic   about   the   way   he   goes   into   convulsions   of 

laughter over such 

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