the great god pan(潘恩大帝)-第16节
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that I had thought to be unchangeable； and permanent as adamant； began
to melt and dissolve。
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〃I know that the body may be separated into its elements by external
agencies； but I should have refused to believe what I saw。 For here there
was some internal force； of which I knew nothing； that caused dissolution
and change。
〃Here too was all the work by which man had been made repeated
before my eyes。 I saw the form waver from sex to sex； dividing itself
from itself； and then again reunited。 Then I saw the body descend to the
beasts whence it ascended； and that which was on the heights go down to
the depths； even to the abyss of all being。 The principle of life； which
makes organism； always remained； while the outward form changed。
〃The light within the room had turned to blackness； not the darkness of
night； in which objects are seen dimly； for I could see clearly and without
difficulty。 But it was the negation of light； objects were presented to my
eyes； if I may say so； without any medium； in such a manner that if there
had been a prism in the room I should have seen no colours represented in
it。
〃I watched； and at last I saw nothing but a substance as jelly。 Then
the ladder was ascended again。。。 ＇here the MS。 is illegible＇ 。。。for one
instance I saw a Form； shaped in dimness before me； which I will not
farther describe。 But the symbol of this form may be seen in ancient
sculptures； and in paintings which survived beneath the lava； too foul to be
spoken of。。。 as a horrible and unspeakable shape； neither man nor beast；
was changed into human form； there came finally death。
〃I who saw all this； not without great horror and loathing of soul； here
write my name； declaring all that I have set on this paper to be true。
〃ROBERT MATHESON； Med。 Dr。〃
* * *
。。。Such； Raymond； is the story of what I know and what I have seen。
The burden of it was too heavy for me to bear alone； and yet I could tell it
to none but you。 Villiers； who was with me at the last； knows nothing of
that awful secret of the wood； of how what we both saw die； lay upon the
smooth； sweet turf amidst the summer flowers； half in sun and half in
shadow； and holding the girl Rachel's hand； called and summoned those
companions； and shaped in solid form； upon the earth we tread upon； the
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horror which we can but hint at； which we can only name under a figure。
I would not tell Villiers of this； nor of that resemblance； which struck me
as with a blow upon my heart； when I saw the portrait； which filled the
cup of terror at the end。 What this can mean I dare not guess。 I know
that what I saw perish was not Mary； and yet in the last agony Mary's eyes
looked into mine。 Whether there can be any one who can show the last
link in this chain of awful mystery； I do not know； but if there be any one
who can do this； you； Raymond； are the man。 And if you know the secret；
it rests with you to tell it or not； as you please。
I am writing this letter to you immediately on my getting back to town。
I have been in the country for the last few days； perhaps you may be able
to guess in which part。 While the horror and wonder of London was at
its heightfor 〃Mrs。 Beaumont；〃 as I have told you； was well known in
societyI wrote to my friend Dr。 Phillips； giving some brief outline； or
rather hint； of what happened； and asking him to tell me the name of the
village where the events he had related to me occurred。 He gave me the
name； as he said with the less hesitation； because Rachel's father and
mother were dead； and the rest of the family had gone to a relative in the
State of Washington six months before。 The parents； he said； had
undoubtedly died of grief and horror caused by the terrible death of their
daughter； and by what had gone before that death。 On the evening of the
day which I received Phillips'letter I was at Caermaen； and standing
beneath the mouldering Roman walls； white with the winters of seventeen
hundred years； I looked over the meadow where once had stood the older
temple of the 〃God of the Deeps；〃 and saw a house gleaming in the
sunlight。 It was the house where Helen had lived。 I stayed at Caermaen
for several days。 The people of the place； I found； knew little and had
guessed less。 Those whom I spoke to on the matter seemed surprised that
an antiquarian （as I professed myself to be） should trouble about a village
tragedy； of which they gave a very commonplace version； and； as you may
imagine； I told nothing of what I knew。 Most of my time was spent in the
great wood that rises just above the village and climbs the hillside； and
goes down to the river in the valley； such another long lovely valley；
Raymond； as that on which we looked one summer night； walking to and
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fro before your house。 For many an hour I strayed through the maze of
the forest； turning now to right and now to left； pacing slowly down long
alleys of undergrowth； shadowy and chill； even under the midday sun； and
halting beneath great oaks； lying on the short turf of a clearing where the
faint sweet scent of wild roses came to me on the wind and mixed with the
heavy perfume of the elder； whose mingled odour is like the odour of the
room of the dead； a vapour of incense and corruption。 I stood at the
edges of the wood； gazing at all the pomp and procession of the foxgloves
towering amidst the bracken and shining red in the broad sunshine； and
beyond them into deep thickets of close undergrowth where springs boil
up from the rock and nourish the water…weeds； dank and evil。 But in all
my wanderings I avoided one part of the wood； it was not till yesterday
that I climbed to the summit of the hill； and stood upon the ancient Roman
road that threads the highest ridge of the wood。 Here they had walked；
Helen and Rachel； along this quiet causeway； upon the pavement of green
turf； shut in on either side by high banks of red earth； and tall hedges of
shining beech； and here I followed in their steps； looking out； now and
again； through partings in the boughs； and seeing on one side the sweep of
the wood stretching far to right and left； and sinking into the broad level；
and beyond； the yellow sea； and the land over the sea。 On the other side
was the valley and the river and hill following hill as wave on wave； and
wood and meadow； and cornfield； and white houses gleaming； and a great
wall of mountain； and far blue peaks in the north。 And so at least I came
to the place。 The track went up a gentle slope； and widened out into an
open space with a wall of thick undergrowth around it； and then；
narrowing again； passed on into the distance and the faint blue mist of
summer heat。 And into this pleasant summer glade Rachel passed a girl；
and left it； who shall say what？ I did not stay long there。
In a small town near Caermaen there is a museum； containing for the
most part Roman remains which have been found in the neighbourhood at
various times。 On the day after my arrival in Caermaen I walked over to
the town in question； and took the opportunity of inspecting the museum。
After I had seen most of the sculptured stones； the coffins； rings； coins；
and fragments of tessellated pavement which the place contains； I was
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shown a small square pillar of white stone； which had been recently
discovered in the wood of which I have been speaking； and； as I found on
inquiry； in that open space where the Roman road broadens out。 On one
side of the pillar was an inscription； of which I took a note。 Some of the
letters have b
