crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第85节
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into the abstract！ Wasn't I right in saying that we were birds of a
feather？〃
〃Kindly allow me；〃 Raskolnikov went on irritably； 〃to ask you to
explain why you have honoured me with your visit。。。 and。。。 and I am in
a hurry； I have no time to waste。 I want to go out。〃
〃By all means； by all means。 Your sister； Avdotya Romanovna； is
going to be married to Mr。 Luzhin； Pyotr Petrovitch？〃
〃Can you refrain from any question about my sister and from
mentioning her name？ I can't understand how you dare utter her name in
my presence； if you really are Svidrigailov。〃
〃Why； but I've come here to speak about her； how can I avoid
mentioning her？〃
〃Very good； speak； but make haste。〃
〃I am sure that you must have formed your own opinion of this Mr。
Luzhin； who is a connection of mine through my wife； if you have
only seen him for half an hour； or heard any facts about him。 He is no
match for Avdotya Romanovna。 I believe Avdotya Romanovna is
sacrificing herself generously and imprudently for the sake of。。。
for the sake of her family。 I fancied from all I had heard of you that
you would be very glad if the match could be broken off without the
sacrifice of worldly advantages。 Now I know you personally； I am
convinced of it。〃
〃All this is very naive。。。 excuse me； I should have said impudent on
your part；〃 said Raskolnikov。
〃You mean to say that I am seeking my own ends。 Don't be uneasy；
Rodion Romanovitch； if I were working for my own advantage； I would
not have spoken out so directly。 I am not quite a fool。 I will confess
something psychologically curious about that： just now； defending my
love for Avdotya Romanovna； I said I was myself the victim。 Well；
let me tell you that I've no feeling of love now； not the slightest；
so that I wonder myself indeed； for I really did feel something。。。〃
〃Through idleness and depravity；〃 Raskolnikov put in。
〃I certainly am idle and depraved； but your sister has such
qualities that even I could not help being impressed by them。 But
that's all nonsense； as I see myself now。〃
〃Have you seen that long？〃
〃I began to be aware of it before； but was only perfectly sure of it
the day before yesterday； almost at the moment I arrived in
Petersburg。 I still fancied in Moscow； though； that I was coming to
try to get Avdotya Romanovna's hand and to cut out Mr。 Luzhin。〃
〃Excuse me for interrupting you； kindly be brief； and come to the
object of your visit。 I am in a hurry； I want to go out。。。〃
〃With the greatest pleasure。 On arriving here and determining on a
certain。。。 journey； I should like to make some necessary preliminary
arrangements。 I left my children with an aunt； they are well
provided for； and they have no need of me personally。 And a nice
father I should make； too！ I have taken nothing but what Marfa
Petrovna gave me a year ago。 That's enough for me。 Excuse me； I am
just coming to the point。 Before the journey which may come off； I
want to settle Mr。 Luzhin； too。 It's not that I detest him so much；
but it was through him I quarrelled with Marfa Petrovna when I learned
that she had dished up this marriage。 I want now to see Avdotya
Romanovna through your mediation； and if you like in your presence； to
explain to her that in the first place she will never gain anything
but harm from Mr。 Luzhin。 Then begging her pardon for all past
unpleasantness； to make her a present of ten thousand roubles and so
assist the rupture with Mr。 Luzhin； a rupture to which I believe she
is herself not disinclined； if she could see the way to it。〃
〃You are certainly mad；〃 cried Raskolnikov not so much angered as
astonished。 〃How dare you talk like that！〃
〃I knew you would scream at me； but in the first place； though I
am not rich； this ten thousand roubles is perfectly free； I have
absolutely no need for it。 If Avdotya Romanovna does not accept it；
I shall waste it in some more foolish way。 That's the first thing。
Secondly； my conscience is perfectly easy； I make the offer with no
ulterior motive。 You may not believe it； but in the end Avdotya
Romanovna and you will know。 The point is； that I did actually cause
your sister； whom I greatly respect； some trouble and
unpleasantness； and so； sincerely regretting it； I want… not to
compensate； not to repay her for the unpleasantness； but simply to
do something to her advantage； to show that I am not； after all；
privileged to do nothing but harm。 If there were a millionth
fraction of self interest in my offer； I should not have made it so
openly； and I should not have offered her ten thousand only； when five
weeks ago I offered her more； Besides； I may； perhaps； very soon marry
a young lady； and that alone ought to prevent suspicion of any
design on Avdotya Romanovna。 In conclusion； let me say that in
marrying Mr。 Luzhin； she is taking money just the same； only from
another man。 Don't be angry； Rodion Romanovitch； think it over
coolly and quietly。〃
Svidrigailov himself was exceedingly cool and quiet as he was saying
this。
〃I beg you to say no more；〃 said Raskolnikov。 〃In any case this is
unpardonable impertinence。〃
〃Not in the least。 Then a man may do nothing but harm to his
neighbour in this world； and is prevented from doing the tiniest bit
of good by trivial conventional formalities。 That's absurd。 If I died；
for instance； and left that sum to your sister in my will； surely
she wouldn't refuse it？〃
〃Very likely she would。〃
〃Oh； no； indeed。 However； if you refuse it； so be it； though ten
thousand roubles is a capital thing to have on occasion。 In any case I
beg you to repeat what I have said to Avdotya Romanovna。〃
〃No； I won't。〃
〃In that case； Rodion Romanovitch； I shall be obliged to try and see
her myself and worry her by doing so。〃
〃And if I do tell her； will you not try to see her？〃
〃I don't know really what to say。 I should like very much to see her
once more。〃
〃Don't hope for it。〃
〃I'm sorry。 But you don't know me。 Perhaps we may become better
friends。〃
〃You think we may become friends？〃
〃And why not？〃 Svidrigailov said； smiling。 He stood up and took
his hat。 〃I didn't quite intend to disturb you and I came here without
reckoning on it。。。 though I was very much struck by your face this
morning。〃
〃Where did you see me this morning？〃 Raskolnikov asked uneasily。
〃I saw you by chance。。。。 I kept fancying there is something about
you like me。。。。 But don't be uneasy。 I am not intrusive； I used to get
on all right with card…sharpers； and I never bored Prince Svirbey； a
great personage who is a distant relation of mine； and I could write
about Raphael's Madonna in Madam Prilukov's album； and I never left
Marfa Petrovna's side for seven years； and I used to stay the night at
Viazemsky's house in the Hay Market in the old days； and I may go up
in a balloon with Berg； perhaps。〃
〃Oh； all right。 Are you starting soon on your travels； may I ask？〃
〃What travels？〃
〃Why； on that 'journey'； you spoke of it yourself。〃
〃A journey？ Oh； yes。 I did speak
