agnes grey(艾格尼丝·格累)-第15节
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would only throw aside my diffidence； and acquire a little more
confidence in myself。 I was just to give a plain； true statement of my
acquirements and qualifications； and name what stipulations I chose to
make； and then await the result。 The only stipulation I ventured to
propose； was that I might be allowed two months' holidays during the year
to visit my friends； at Midsummer and Christmas。 The unknown lady； in
her reply； made no objection to this； and stated that； as to my acquirements；
she had no doubt I should be able to give satisfaction； but in the
engagement of governesses she considered those things as but subordinate
points； as being situated in the neighbourhood of O…； she could get masters
to supply any deficiencies in that respect： but； in her opinion； next to
unimpeachable morality； a mild and cheerful temper and obliging
disposition were the most essential requisities。
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My mother did not relish this at all； and now made many objections to
my accepting the situation； in which my sister warmly supported her： but；
unwilling to be balked again； I overruled them all； and； having first
obtained the consent of my father （who had； a short time previously； been
apprised of these transactions）； I wrote a most obliging epistle to my
unknown correspondent； and； finally； the bargain was concluded。
It was decreed that on the last day of January I was to enter upon my
new office as governess in the family of Mr。 Murray； of Horton Lodge；
near O…； about seventy miles from our village： a formidable distance to
me； as I had never been above twenty miles from home in all the course of
my twenty years' sojourn on earth； and as； moreover； every individual in
that family and in the neighbourhood was utterly unknown to myself and
all my acquaintances。 But this rendered it only the more piquant to me。
I had now； in some measure； got rid of the MAUVAISE HONTE that had
formerly oppressed me so much； there was a pleasing excitement in the
idea of entering these unknown regions； and making my way alone among
its strange inhabitants。 I now flattered myself I was going to see
something in the world： Mr。 Murray's residence was near a large town；
and not in a manufacturing district； where the people had nothing to do but
to make money； his rank from what I could gather； appeared to be higher
than that of Mr。 Bloomfield； and； doubtless； he was one of those genuine
thorough…bred gentry my mother spoke of； who would treat his governess
with due consideration as a respectable well… educated lady； the instructor
and guide of his children； and not a mere upper servant。 Then； my pupils
being older； would be more rational； more teachable； and less troublesome
than the last； they would be less confined to the schoolroom； and not
require that constant labour and incessant watching； and； finally； bright
visions mingled with my hopes； with which the care of children and the
mere duties of a governess had little or nothing to do。 Thus； the reader
will see that I had no claim to be regarded as a martyr to filial piety； going
forth to sacrifice peace and liberty for the sole purpose of laying up stores
for the comfort and support of my parents： though certainly the comfort
of my father； and the future support of my mother； had a large share in my
calculations； and fifty pounds appeared to me no ordinary sum。 I must
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have decent clothes becoming my station； I must； it seemed； put out my
washing； and also pay for my four annual journeys between Horton Lodge
and home； but with strict attention to economy； surely twenty pounds； or
little more； would cover those expenses； and then there would be thirty for
the bank； or little less： what a valuable addition to our stock！ Oh； I
must struggle to keep this situation； whatever it might be！ both for my own
honour among my friends and for the solid services I might render them
by my continuance there。
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CHAPTER VII … HORTON
LODGE
THE 31st of January was a wild； tempestuous day： there was a
strong north wind； with a continual storm of snow drifting on the ground
and whirling through the air。 My friends would have had me delay my
departure； but fearful of prejudicing my employers against me by such
want of punctuality at the commencement of my undertaking； I persisted
in keeping the appointment。
I will not inflict upon my readers an account of my leaving home on
that dark winter morning： the fond farewells； the long； long journey to
O…； the solitary waitings in inns for coaches or trains … for there were some
railways then … and； finally； the meeting at O… with Mr。 Murray's servant；
who had been sent with the phaeton to drive me from thence to Horton
Lodge。 I will just state that the heavy snow had thrown such
impediments in the way of both horses and steam…engines； that it was dark
some hours before I reached my journey's end； and that a most
bewildering storm came on at last； which made the few miles' space
between O… and Horton Lodge a long and formidable passage。 I sat
resigned； with the cold； sharp snow drifting through my veil and filling my
lap； seeing nothing； and wondering how the unfortunate horse and driver
could make their way even as well as they did； and indeed it was but a
toilsome； creeping style of progression； to say the best of it。 At length we
paused； and； at the call of the driver； someone unlatched and rolled back
upon their creaking hinges what appeared to be the park gates。 Then we
proceeded along a smoother road； whence； occasionally； I perceived some
huge； hoary mass gleaming through the darkness； which I took to be a
portion of a snow…clad tree。 After a considerable time we paused again；
before the stately portico of a large house with long windows descending
to the ground。
I rose with some difficulty from under the superincumbent snowdrift；
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and alighted from the carriage； expecting that a kind and hospitable
reception would indemnify me for the toils and hardships of the day。 A
gentleman person in black opened the door； and admitted me into a
spacious hall； lighted by an amber…coloured lamp suspended from the
ceiling； he led me through this； along a passage； and opening the door of a
back room； told me that was the schoolroom。 I entered； and found two
young ladies and two young gentlemen … my future pupils； I supposed。
After a formal greeting； the elder girl； who was trifling over a piece of
canvas and a basket of German wools； asked if I should like to go upstairs。
I replied in the affirmative； of course。
'Matilda； take a candle； and show her her room；' said she。
Miss Matilda； a strapping hoyden of about fourteen； with a short frock
and trousers； shrugged her shoulders and made a slight grimace； but took a
candle and proceeded before me up the back stairs （a long； steep； double
flight）； and through a long； narrow passage； to a small but tolerably
comfortable room。 She then asked me if I would take some tea or coffee。
I was about to answer No； but remembering that I had taken nothing since
seven o'clock that morning； and feeling faint in consequence； I said I
would take a cup of tea。 Saying she would tell 'Brown；' the young lady
departed； and by the time I had divested myself of my heavy； wet cloak；
shawl； bonnet； &c。； a mincing damsel came to say the young ladies desired
to know whether I would take my tea up there or
