cb.imajica2-第9节

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stro。　You　crawl　back　here　with　half　your　wits　missing。〃
　〃The　Pivot　trusts　me。〃
　That　struck　a　tender　place。　Suddenly　Sartori　was　shouting。
　〃Fuck　the　Pivot！　Why　should　you　be　the　Reconciler？　Huh？　Why？　One　hundred　and　fifty　years　I've　ruled　the　Imajica。　I　know　how　to　use　power。　You　don't。〃
　〃Is　that　what　you　want？〃　Gentle　said；　trailing　the　bait　of　that　possibility。　〃You　want　to　be　the　Reconciler　in　my　place？〃
　〃I'm　better　equipped　than　you；〃　Sartori　raged。　〃All　you're　good　for　is　sniffing　after　women。〃
　〃And　what　are　you？　Impotent？〃
　〃I　know　what　you're　doing。　I'd　do　the　same。　You're　stirring　me　up；　so　I'll　spill　my　secrets。　I　don't　care。　There's　nothing　you　can　do　I　can't　do　better。　You　wasted　all　those　years；　hiding　away；　but　I　used　them。　I　turned　myself　into　an　empire　builder。　What　did　you　do？〃　He　didn't　wait　for　an　answer。　He　knew　his　subject　too　well。　〃You've　learned　nothing。　If　you　began　the　Reconciliation　now；　you'd　make　the　same　mistakes。〃
　〃And　what　were　they？〃
　〃It　es　down　to　one；〃　Sartori　said。　〃Judith。　If　you　hadn't　wanted　her…〃　He　stopped；　studying　his　other。　〃You　don't　even　remember　that；　do　you？〃
　〃No；〃　Gentle　said。　〃Not　yet。〃
　〃Let　me　tell　you；　brother；〃　Sartori　said；　ing　face　to　face　with　Gentle。　〃It's　a　sad　story。〃
　〃I　don't　weep　easily。〃
　〃She　was　the　most　beautiful　woman　in　England。　Some　people　said；　in　Europe。　But　she　belonged　to　Joshua　Godolphm；　and　he　guarded　her　like　his　soul。〃
　〃They　were　married？〃
　〃No。　She　was　his　mistress；　but　he　loved　her　more　than　any　wife。　And　of　course　he　knew　what　you　felt；　you　didn't　disguise　it；　and　that　made　him　afraid…oh；　God；　was　he　afraid…that　sooner　or　later　you　were　going　to　seduce　her　and　spirit　her　away。　It'd　be　easy。　You　were　the　Maestro　Sartori；　you　could　do　anything。　But　he　was　one　of　your　patrons；　so　you　bided　your　tune；　thinking　maybe　he'd　tire　of　her；　and　then　you　could　have　her　without　bad　blood　between　you。　It　didn't　happen。　The　months　went　by；　and　his　devotion　was　as　intense　as　ever。　You'd　never　waited　this　long　for　a　woman　before。　You　started　to　suffer　like　a　lovesick　adolescent。　You　couldn't　sleep。　Your　heart　palpitated　at　the　sound　of　her　voice。　This　wasn't　good　for　the　Reconciliation；　of　course；　having　the　Maestro　pining　away；　and　Godolphin　came　to　want　a　solution　as　badly　as　you　did。　So　when　you　found　one；　he　was　ready　to　listen。〃
　〃What　was　it？〃
　〃That　you　make　another　Judith；　indistinguishable　from　the　first。　You　had　the　feits　to　do　it。〃
　〃Then　he'd　have　one　。。。〃
　〃And　so　would　you。　Simple。　No；　not　simple。　Very　difficult。　Very　dangerous。　But　those　were　heady　days。　Dominions　hidden　from　human　eyes　since　the　beginning　of　time　were　just　a　few　ceremonies　away。　Heaven　was　possible。　Creating　another　Judith　seemed　like　small　potatoes。　You　put　it　to　him；　and　he　agreed…〃
　〃Just　like　that？〃
　〃You　sweetened　the　pill。　You　promised　him　a　Judith　better　than　the　first。　A　woman　who　wouldn't　age；　wouldn't　tire　of　his　pany　or　the　pany　of　his　sons；　or　the　sons　of　his　sons。　This　Judith　would　belong　to　the　men　of　the　Godolphin　family　in　perpetuity。　She'd　be　pliant；　she'd　be　modest；　she'd　be　perfect。〃
　〃And　what　did　the　original　think　of　this？〃
　〃She　didn't　know。　You　drugged　her；　you　took　her　up　to　the　Meditation　room　in　the　house　in　Gamut　Street；　you　lit　a　blazing　fire；　stripped　her　naked；　and　began　the　ritual。　You　anointed　her；　you　laid　her　in　a　circle　of　sand　from　the　margin　of　the　Second　Dominion；　the　holiest　ground　in　the　Imajica。　Then　you　said　your　prayers；　and　you　waited。〃　He　paused；　enjoying　this　telling。　〃It　is；　let　me　remind　you；　a　long　conjuration。　Eleven　hours　at　the　minimum；　watching　the　doppelgSnger　grow　in　the　circle　beside　its　source。　You'd　made　sure　there　was　nobody　else　in　the　house；　of　course；　not　even　your　precious　mystif。　This　was　a　very　secret　ritual。　So　you　were　alone；　and　you　soon　got　bored。　And　when　you　got　bored；　you　got　drunk。　So　there　you　were；　sitting　in　the　room　with　her；　watching　her　perfection　in　the　firelight；　obsessing　on　her　beauty。　And　eventually…half　out　of　your　mind　with　brandy…you　made　the　biggest　mistake　of　your　life。　You　tore　off　your　clothes；　you　stepped　into　the　circle；　and　you　did　about　everything　a　man　can　do　to　a　woman；　even　though　she　was　atose；　and　you　were　hallucinating　with　fasting　and　drink。　You　didn't　fuck　her　once；　you　did　it　over　and　over；　as　though　you　wanted　to　get　up　inside　her。　Over　and　over。　Then　you　fell　into　a　stupor　at　her　side。〃
　Gentle　began　to　see　the　error　looming。　〃I　fell　asleep　in　the　circle？〃　he　said。
　〃In　the　circle。〃
　〃And　you　were　the　consequence。〃
　〃I　was。　And　let　me　tell　you；　it　was　quite　a　birth。　People　say　they　don't　remember　the　moment　they　came　into　the　world；　but　I　do。　I　remember　opening　my　eyes　in　the　circle；　with　her　beside　me；　and　these　rains　of　matter　ing　down　on　me；　congealing　around　my　spirit。　Being　bone。　Being　flesh。〃　All　expression　had　gone　from　his　face。　〃I　remember；〃　he　said；　〃at　one　point　she　realized　she　wasn't　alone　and　she　turned　and　saw　me　lying　beside　her。　I　was　unfinished。　An　anatomy　lesson；　raw　and　wet。　I've　never　forgotten　the　noise　she　made…〃
　〃I　didn't　wake　up　through　any　of　this？〃
　〃You'd　crawled　away　downstairs　to　douse　your　head；　and　you'd　fallen　asleep。　I　know　because　I　found　you；　later　on；　sprawled　on　the　dining　room　table。〃
　〃The　conjuration　still　worked；　even　though　I'd　left　the　circle？〃
　〃You're　quite　the　technician；　aren't　you？　Yes；　it　still　worked。　You　were　an　easy　subject。　It　took　hours　to　decode　Judith　and　make　her　doppelganger。　But　you　were　incandescent。　The　sway　read　you　in　minutes　and　made　me　in　a　couple　of　hours。〃
　〃You　knew　who　you　were　from　the　beginning？〃
　〃Oh；　yes。　I　was　you；　in　your　lust。　I　was　you；　full　of　drunken　visions。　I　was　you；　wanting　to　fuck　and　fuck；　and　conquer　and　conquer。　But　I　was　also　you　when　you'd　done　your　worst；　with　your　balls　empty　and　your　head　empty；　like　death　had　got　in；　sitting　there　between　her　legs　trying　to　remember　what　it　was　you　were　living　for。　I　was　that　man　too；　and　it　was　terrifying　to　have　both　those　feelings　in　me　at　the　same　time。〃
　He　paused　a　moment。
　〃It　still　is；　brother。〃
　〃I　would　have　helped　you；　surely；　if　I'd　known　what　I'd　done。〃
　〃Or　put　me　out　of　my　misery；〃　Sartori　said。　〃Taken　me　into　the　garden　and　shot　me　like　a　rabid　dog。　I　didn't　know　what　you'd　do。　I　went　downstairs。　You　were　snoring　like　a　trooper。　I　watched　you　for　a　long　while；　wanting　to　wake　you；　wanting　to　share　the　terror　I　felt；　but　Godolphin　arrived　before　I　got　up　the　courage。　It　was　just　before　dawn。　He'd　e　to　take　Judith　home。　I　hid　myself。　I　watched　Godolphin　wake　you；　I　heard　you　talk　together；　I　saw　you　climb　the　stairs　like　two　expectant　fathers　and　go　into　the　Meditation　Room。　Then　I　heard　your　whoops　of　celebration；　and　I　knew　once　and　for　all　that　I　wasn't　an　intended　child。〃
　〃What　did　you　do？〃
　〃I　stole　some　money　and　some　clothes。　Then　I　made　my　escape。　The　fear　passed　after　a　time。　I　began　to　realize　what　I　was；　the　knowledge　I　possessed。　And　I　realized　I　had　this　。。。　appetite。　Your　appetite。　I　wanted　glory。〃
　〃And　this　is　what　you　did　to　get　it？〃　Gentle　said；　turning　back　to　the　window。　The　devastation　below　was　clearer　by　the　minute；　as　the　et's　light　strengthened。　〃Brave　work；　brother。〃
　〃This　was　a　great　city　once。　And　there'll　be　others；　just　as　great。　Greater；　because　this　time　there'll　be　two　of　us　to　build　it。　And　two　of　us　to　rule。〃
　〃You've　got　me　wrong；〃　Gentle　said。　〃I　don't　want　an　empire。〃
　〃But　it's　bound　to　e；〃　Sartori　said；　fired　up　with　this　vision。　〃You're　the　Reconciler；　brother。　You're　the　healer　of　the　Imajica。　You　know　what　that　could　mean　for　us　both？　If　you　reconcile　the　Dominions　there'll　have　to　be　one　great　city…a　new　Yzordderrex…to　rule　it　from　end　to　end。　I'll　found　it　and　administrate　it；　and　you　can　be　pope。〃
　〃I　don't　want　to　be　pope。〃
　〃What　do　you　want　then？〃
　〃Pie　'oh'　pah　for　one。　And　some　sense　of　what　all　this　means。〃
　〃Being　born　to　be　the　Reconciler's　enough　meaning　for　anyone。　It's　all　the　purpose　you　need。　Don't　run　from　it。〃
　〃And　what　were　you　born　to　do？　You　can't　build　cities　forever。〃　He　glanced　out　at　the　desolation。　〃Is　that　why　you've　destroyed　it？〃　he　said。　〃So　you　can　start　again？〃
　〃I　didn't　destroy　it。　There　was　a　revolution。〃
　〃Which　you　fueled；　with　your　massacres；〃　Gentle　said。　〃I　was　in　a　little　village　called　Beatrix；　a　few　weeks　ago…〃
　〃Ah；　yes。　Beatrix。〃　Sartori　drew　a　heavy　breath。　〃It　was　you；　of　course。　I　knew　somebody　was　watching　me；　but　I　didn't　know　who。　The　frustration　made　me　cruel；　I'm　afraid；〃
　〃You　call　that　cruel？　I　call　it　inhuman。〃
　〃It　may　take　you　a　little　time　to　understand；　but　every　now　and　again　such　extremes　are　necessary。〃
　〃I　knew　some　of　those　people。〃
　〃You　won't　ever　have　to　dirty　your　hands　with　that　kind　of　unpleasantness。　I'll　do　whatever's　necessary。〃
　〃So　will　I；〃　said　Gentle。
　Sartori　frowned。　〃Is　that　a　threat？〃　he　said。
　〃This　began　with　me；　and　it'll　end　with　me。〃
　〃But　which　me；　Maestro？　That　one〃…he　pointed　at　Gentle…〃or　this？　Don't　you　see；　we　weren't　meant　to　be　enemies。　We　can　achieve　so　much　more　if　we　work　together。〃　He　put　his　hand　on　Gentle's　shoulder。　〃We　were　meant　to　meet　this　way。　That's　why　the　Pivot　kept　silen