cb.imajica2-第8节

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　have　to　teach　me；　and　I'll。。。　remind　you　of　a　few　sways　in　return。〃　〃I　don't　understand　the　mechanics　of　it。〃　〃Then　we'll　learn　together；〃　Sartori　replied。　〃The　principles　are　simple　enough。　Matter　and　mind；　mind　and　matter。　Each　transforming　the　other。　Maybe　that's　what　we're　going　to　do。　Transform　one　another。〃
　With　that　thought；　Sartori　put　his　palm　on　the　door　and　pushed　it　open。　Though　it　was　fully　six　inches　thick　it　moved　without　a　sound；　and　with　an　extended　hand　Sartori　invited　Gentle　to　enter；　speaking　as　he　did　so。
　〃It's　said　that　Hapexamendios　set　the　Pivot　in　the　middle　of　the　Imajica　so　that　His　fertility　would　flow　from　it　into　every　Dominion。〃　He　lowered　his　voice；　as　if　for　an　indiscretion。　〃In　other　words；〃　he　said。　〃This　is　the　phallus　of　the　Unbeheld。〃
　Gentle　had　seen　this　tower　from　the　outside；　of　course；　it　soared　above　every　other　pylon　and　dome　in　the　palace。　But　he　hadn't　grasped　its　enormity　until　now。　It　was　a　square　stone　tower；　seventy　or　eighty　feet　from　side　to　side　and　so　tall　that　the　lights　blazing　in　the　walls　to　illuminate　its　sole　occupant　receded　like　cat's　eyes　in　a　highway　till　sheer　distance　dimmed　then　erased　them。　An　extraordinary　sight：　but　nothing　beside　the　monolith　around　which　the　tower　had　been　constructed。　Gentle　had　been　steeling　himself　for　an　assault　when　the　door　was　opened：　the　tone　he'd　heard　in　his　skull　as　he'd　crept　along　the　passage　below　rattling　his　teeth；　the　charge　burning　in　his　fingers。　But　there　was　nothing；　not　even　a　murmur；　which　was　in　its　way　more　distressing。　The　Pivot　knew　he　was　here　in　its　chamber　but　was　keeping　its　counsel；　silently　assessing　him　as　he　assessed　it。
　There　were　several　shocks。　The　first；　and　the　least；　how　beautiful　it　was；　its　sides　the　color　of　thunderclouds；　hewn　so　that　seams　of　brightness　flowed　in　them　like　hidden　lightning。　The　second；　that　it　was　not　set　on　the　ground　but　hovered；　in　all　its　enormity；　ten　feet　from　the　floor　of　the　tower；　casting　a　shadow　so　dense　that　the　dark　air　was　almost　a　plinth。
　〃Impressive；　huh？〃　Sartori　remarked；　his　cocky　tone　as　inappropriate　as　laughter　at　an　altar。　〃You　can　walk　underneath　it。　Go　on。　It's　quite　safe。〃
　Gentle　was　reluctant；　but　he　was　all　too　aware　that　his　other　was　watching　for　his　weaknesses；　and　any　sign　of　fear　now　might　be　used　against　him　later。　Sartori　had　already　seen　him　sickened　and　down　on　his　knees；　he　didn't　want　the　bastard　to　get　another　glimpse　of　frailty。
　〃Aren't　you　ing　with　me？〃　he　said；　glancing　around　at　the　Autarch。
　〃It's　a　very　private　moment；〃　the　other　replied；　and　stood　back　to　let　Gentle　venture　into　the　shadow。
　It　was　like　stepping　back　into　the　wastes　of　the　Jokalaylau。　Cold　cut　him　to　the　marrow。　His　breath　was　snatched　from　his　lungs　and　appeared　before　him　in　a　bitter　cloud。　Gasping；　he　turned　his　face　to　the　power　above　him；　his　mind　divided　between　the　rational　urge　to　study　the　phenomenon　and　the　barely　controllable　desire　to　drop　to　his　knees　and　beg　it　not　to　crush　him。　The　heaven　above　him　had　five　sides；　he　saw。　One　for　each　Dominion；　perhaps。　And　like　the　hewn　flanks；　flickers　of　lightning　appeared　in　it　here　and　there。　But　it　wasn't　simply　a　trick　of　seam　and　shadow　that　gave　the　stone　the　look　of　a　thundercloud。　There　was　motion　in　it；　the　solid　rock　roiling　above　him。　He　threw　a　glance　towards　Sartori；　who　was　standing　at　the　door；　casually　putting　a　cigarette　between　his　lips。　The　flame　he　struck　to　light　it　with　was　a　world　away；　but　Gentle　didn't　envy　him　its　warmth。　Icy　as　this　shadow　was；　he　wanted　the　stone　sky　to　unfurl　above　him　and　deliver　its　judgment　down；　he　wanted　to　see　whatever　power　the　Pivot　possessed　unleashed；　if　only　to　know　that　such　powers　and　such　judgments　existed。　He　looked　away　from　Sartori　almost　contemptuously；　the　thought　shaping　in　his　head　that　for　all　the　other's　talk　of　possessing　this　monolith；　the　years　it　had　spent　in　this　tower　were　moments　in　its　incalculable　span；　and　he　and　Sartori　would　have　e　and　gone；　their　little　mark　eroded　by　those　that　followed；　in　the　time　it　took　the　stone　to　blink　its　cloudy　eye。
　Perhaps　it　read　that　thought　from　his　cortex　and　approved；　because　the　light；　when　it　came；　was　kind。　There　was　sun　in　the　stone　as　well　as　lightning；　warmth　as　well　as　a　killing　fire。　It　brightened　the　mantle；　then　fell　in　shafts；　first　around　him；　then　upon　his　upturned　face。　The　moment　had　antecedents：　events　in　the　Fifth　that　had　prophesied　this；　their　parent's；　ing。　He'd　stood　on　Highgate　Hill　once；　when　the　city　road　was　still　a　muddy　track；　and　looked　up　to　see　the　clouds　drop　glory　down　as　they　were　doing　now。　He'd　gone　to　the　window　of　his　room　in　Gamut　Street　and　seen　the　same。　He'd　watched　the　smoke　clear　after　a　night　of　bombing…1941；　the　Blitz　at　its　height…and　seeing　the　sun　burn　through；　had　known　in　some　place　too　tender　to　be　touched　that　he'd　forgotten　something　momentous；　and　that　if　he　ever　remembered…if　a　light　like　this　ever　burned　the　veil　away…the　world　would　unravel。
　That　conviction　came　again；　but　this　time　there　was　more　than　a　vague　unease　to　support　it。　The　tone　that　had　sounded　in　his　skull　had　e　again；　attendant　on　the　light；　and　in　it；　described　by　the　subtlest　variation　in　its　monotony；　he　heard　words。
　The　Pivot　was　addressing　him。
　Reconciler；　it　said。
　He　wanted　to　cover　his　ears　and　shut　the　word　out。　Drop　to　the　ground　like　a　prophet　begging　to　be　unburdened　of　some　divine　duty。　But　the　word　was　inside　as　well　as　out。　There　was　no　escaping　it。
　The　work's　not　finished　yet；　the　Pivot　said。
　〃What　work？〃　he　said。
　You　know　what　work。
　He　did；　of　course。　But　so　much　pain　had　e　with　that　labor；　and　he　was　ill　equipped　to　bear　it　again。
　Why　deny　it？　the　Pivot　said。
　He　stared　up　into　the　brightness。　〃I　failed　before；　and　so　many　people　died。　I　can't　do　it　again。　Please。　I　can't。〃
　What　did　you　e　here　for？　the　Pivot　asked　him；　its　voice　so　tenuous　he　had　to　hold　his　breath　to　catch　the　shape　of　the　words。　The　question　took　him　back　to　Taylor's　bedside；　to　that　plea　for　prehension。
　〃To　understand　。。。〃　he　said。
　To　understand　what？
　〃I　can't　put　it　into　words　。。。　it　sounds　so　pitiful。。。。〃
　Say　it。
　〃To　understand　why　I　was　born。　Why　anybody's　born。〃
　You　know　why　you　were　born。
　〃No；　I　don't。　I　wish　I　did；　but　I　don't。〃
　You're　the　Reconciler　of　Dominions。　You　're　the　healer　of　the　Imajica。　Hide　from　that；　and　you　hide　from　understanding。　Maestro；　there's　a　worse　anguish　than　remembering；　and　another　suffers　it　because　you　leave　your　work　unfinished。
　Go　back　into　the　Fifth　Dominion　and　plete　what　you　began。　Make　the　many　One。　This　is　the　only　salvation。
　The　stone　sky　began　to　roil　again；　and　the　clouds　closed　over　the　sun。　With　the　darkness；　the　cold　returned；　but　he　didn't　relinquish　his　place　in　the　Pivot's　shadow　for　several　seconds；　still　hoping　some　crack　would　open　and　the　God　speak　a　last　consoling　word；　a　whisper　perhaps；　of　how　this　onerous　duty　might　be　passed　to　another　soul　more　readily　equipped　to　acplish　it。　But　there　was　nothing。　The　vision　had　passed；　and　all　he　could　do　was　wrap　his　arms　around　his　shuddering　frame　and　stumble　out　to　where　Sartori　stood。　The　other's　cigarette　lay　smoking　at　his　feet；　where　it　had　dropped　from　his　fingers。　By　the　expression　on　his　face　it　was　apparent　that　even　if　he'd　not　prehended　every　detail　of　the　exchange　that　had　just　taken　place；　he　had　the　gist。
　〃The　Unbeheld　speaks；〃　he　said；　his　voice　as　flat　as　the　God's。
　〃I　don't　want　this；〃　Gentle　said。
　〃I　don't　think　this　is　any　place　to　talk　about　denying　Him；〃　Sartori　said；　giving　the　Pivot　a　queasy　glance。
　〃I　didn't　say　I　was　denying　Him；〃　Gentle　replied。　〃Just　that　I　didn't　want　it。〃
　〃Still　better　discussed　in　private；〃　Sartori　whispered；　turning　to　open　the　door。
　He　didn't　lead　Gentle　back　to　the　mean　little　room　where　they'd　met；　but　to　a　chamber　at　the　other　end　of　the　passageway；　which　boasted　the　only　window　he'd　seen　in　the　vicinity。　It　was　narrow　and　dirty；　but　not　as　dirty　as　the　sky　on　the　other　side。　Dawn　had　begun　to　touch　the　clouds；　but　the　smoke　that　still　rose　in　curling　columns　from　the　fires　below　all　but　canceled　its　frail　light。
　〃This　isn't　what　I　came　for；〃　Gentle　said　as　he　stared　out　at　the　murk。　〃I　wanted　answers。〃
　〃You've　had　'em。〃
　〃I　have　to　take　what's　mine；　however　foul　it　is？〃
　〃Not　yours；　ours。　The　responsibility。　The　pain〃…he　paused…〃and　the　glory；　of　course。〃
　Gentle　glanced　at　him。　〃It's　mine；〃　he　said　simply。
　Sartori　shrugged；　as　though　this　were　of　no　consequence　to　him　whatsoever。　Gentle　saw　his　own　wiles　working　in　that　simple　gesture。　How　many　times　had　he　shrugged　in　precisely　that　fashion…raised　his　eyebrows；　pursed　his　lips；　looked　away　with　feigned　indifference？　He　let　Sartori　believe　the　bluff　was　working。
　〃I'm　glad　you　understand；〃　he　said。　〃The　burden's　mine。〃
　〃You've　failed　before。〃
　〃But　I　came　close；〃　Gentle　said；　feigning　access　to　a　memory　he　didn't　yet　have　in　the　hope　of　coaxing　an　informative　rebuttal。
　〃Close　isn't　good　enough；〃　Sartori　said。　〃Close　is　lethal。　A　tragedy。　Look　what　it　did　to　you。　The　great　Maestro。　You　crawl　back　here　with　half　your　wits　missing。〃
　〃The　Pivot　trusts　me。〃
　That　struck　a　t