da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第10节

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　　〃Go　away；〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃OK；〃　muttered　the　bird　morosely　and　flapped　off　into　the　dust　again。
　　Zaphod　watched　its　departure　in　bewilderment。
　　〃Did　that　bird　just　talk　to　me？〃　he　asked　Marvin　nervously。　He　was　quite　prepared　to　believe　the　alternative　explanation；　that　he　was　in　fact　hallucinating。
　　〃Yes；〃　confirmed　Marvin。
　　〃Poor　souls；〃　said　a　deep；　ethereal　voice　in　Zaphod's　ear。
　　Twisting　round　violently　to　find　the　source　of　the　voice　nearly　caused　Zaphod　to　fall　off　the　building。　He　grabbed　savagely　at　a　protruding　window　fitting　and　cut　his　hand　on　it。　He　hung　on；　breathing　heavily。
　　The　voice　had　no　visible　source　whatever　…　there　was　no　one　there。　Nevertheless；　it　spoke　again。
　　〃A　tragic　history　behind　them；　you　know。　A　terrible　blight。〃
　　Zaphod　looked　wildly　about。　The　voice　was　deep　and　quiet。　In　other　circumstances　it　would　even　be　described　as　soothing。　There　is；　however；　nothing　soothing　about　being　addressed　by　a　disembodied　voice　out　of　nowhere；　particularly　if　you　are；　like　Zaphod　Beeblebrox；　not　at　your　best　and　hanging　from　a　ledge　eight　storeys　up　a　crashed　building。
　　〃Hey；　er。。。〃　he　stammered。
　　〃Shall　I　tell　you　their　story？〃　inquired　the　voice　quietly。
　　〃Hey；　who　are　you？〃　panted　Zaphod。　〃Where　are　you？〃
　　〃Later　then；　perhaps；〃　murmured　the　voice。　〃I　am　Gargravarr。　I　am　the　Custodian　of　the　Total　Perspective　Vortex。〃
　　〃Why　can't　I　see。。。〃
　　〃You　will　find　your　progress　down　the　building　greatly　facilitated；〃　the　voice　lifted；　〃if　you　move　about　two　yards　to　your　left。　Why　don't　you　try　it？〃
　　Zaphod　looked　and　saw　a　series　of　short　horizontal　grooves　leading　all　the　way　down　the　side　of　the　building。　Gratefully　he　shifted　himself　across　to　them。
　　〃Why　don't　I　see　you　again　at　the　bottom？〃　said　the　voice　in　his　ear；　and　as　it　spoke　it　faded。
　　〃Hey；〃　called　out　Zaphod；　〃Where　are　you。。。〃
　　〃It'll　only　take　a　couple　of　minutes。。。〃　said　the　voice　very　faintly。
　　〃Marvin；〃　said　Zaphod　earnestly　to　the　robot　squatting　dejectedly　next　to　him；　〃Did　a。。。　did　a　voice　just。。。〃
　　〃Yes；〃　Marvin　replied　tersely。
　　Zaphod　nodded。　He　took　out　his　Peril　Sensitive　Sunglasses　again。　They　were　pletely　black；　and　by　now　quite　badly　scratched　by　the　unexpected　metal　object　in　his　pocket。　He　put　them　on。　He　would　find　his　way　down　the　building　more　fortably　if　he　didn't　actually　have　to　look　at　what　he　was　doing。
　　Minutes　later　he　clambered　over　the　ripped　and　mangled　foundations　of　the　building　and；　once　more　removing　his　sunglasses；　he　dropped　to　the　ground。
　　Marvin　joined　him　a　moment　or　so　later　and　lay　face　down　in　the　dust　and　rubble；　from　which　position　he　seemed　too　disinclined　to　move。
　　〃Ah；　there　you　are；〃　said　the　voice　suddenly　in　Zaphod's　ear；　〃excuse　me　leaving　you　like　that；　it's　just　that　I　have　a　terrible　head　for　heights。　At　least；〃　it　added　wistfully；　〃I　did　have　a　terrible　head　for　heights。〃
　　Zaphod　looked　around　slowly　and　carefully；　just　to　see　if　he　had　missed　something　which　might　be　the　source　of　the　voice。　All　he　saw；　however；　was　the　dust；　the　rubble　and　the　towering　hulks　of　the　encircling　buildings。
　　〃Hey；　er；　why　can't　I　see　you？〃　he　said；　〃why　aren't　you　here？〃
　　〃I　am　here；〃　said　the　voice　slowly；　〃my　body　wanted　to　e　but　it's　a　bit　busy　at　the　moment。　Things　to　do；　people　to　see。〃　After　what　seemed　like　a　sort　of　ethereal　sigh　it　added；　〃You　know　how　it　is　with　bodies。〃
　　Zaphod　wasn't　sure　about　this。
　　〃I　thought　I　did；〃　he　said。
　　〃I　only　hope　it's　gone　for　a　rest　cure；〃　continued　the　voice；　〃the　way　it's　been　living　recently　it　must　be　on　its　last　elbows。〃
　　〃Elbows？〃　said　Zaphod；　〃don't　you　mean　last　legs？〃
　　The　voice　said　nothing　for　a　while。　Zaphod　looked　around　uneasily。　He　didn't　know　if　it　was　gone　or　was　still　there　or　what　it　was　doing。　Then　the　voice　spoke　again。
　　〃So；　you　are　to　be　put　into　the　Vortex；　yes？〃
　　〃Er；　well；〃　said　Zaphod　with　a　very　poor　attempt　at　nonchalance；　〃this　cat's　in　no　hurry；　you　know。　I　can　just　slouch　about　and　take　in　a　look　at　the　local　scenery；　you　know？〃
　　〃Have　you　seen　the　local　scenery？〃　asked　the　voice　of　Gargravarr。
　　〃Er；　no。〃
　　Zaphod　clambered　over　the　rubble；　and　rounded　the　corner　of　one　of　the　wrecked　buildings　that　was　obscuring　his　view。
　　He　looked　out　at　the　landscape　of　Frogstar　World　B。
　　〃Ah；　OK；〃　he　said；　〃I'll　just　sort　of　slouch　about　then。〃
　　〃No；〃　said　Gargravarr；　〃the　Vortex　is　ready　for　you　now。　You　must　e。　Follow　me。〃
　　〃Er；　yeah？〃　said　Zaphod；　〃and　how　am　I　meant　to　do　that？〃
　　〃I'll　hum　for　you；〃　said　Gargravarr；　〃follow　the　humming。〃
　　A　soft　keening　sound　drifted　through　the　air；　a　pale；　sad　sound　that　seemed　to　be　without　any　kind　of　focus。　It　was　only　by　listening　very　carefully　that　Zaphod　was　able　to　detect　the　direction　from　which　it　was　ing。　Slowly；　dazedly；　he　stumbled　off　in　its　wake。　What　else　was　there　to　do？
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　10
　　
　　The　Universe；　as　has　been　observed　before；　is　an　unsettlingly　big　place；　a　fact　which　for　the　sake　of　a　quiet　life　most　people　tend　to　ignore。
　　Many　would　happily　move　to　somewhere　rather　smaller　of　their　own　devising；　and　this　is　what　most　beings　in　fact　do。
　　For　instance；　in　one　corner　of　the　Eastern　Galactic　Arm　lies　the　large　forest　planet　Oglaroon；　the　entire　〃intelligent〃　population　of　which　lives　permanently　in　one　fairly　small　and　crowded　nut　tree。　In　which　tree　they　are　born；　live；　fall　in　love；　carve　tiny　speculative　articles　in　the　bark　on　the　meaning　of　life；　the　futility　of　death　and　the　importance　of　birth　control；　fight　a　few　extremely　minor　wars；　and　eventually　die　strapped　to　the　underside　of　some　of　the　less　accessible　outer　branches。
　　In　fact　the　only　Oglaroonians　who　ever　leave　their　tree　are　those　who　are　hurled　out　of　it　for　the　heinous　crime　of　wondering　whether　any　of　the　other　trees　might　be　capable　of　supporting　life　at　all；　or　indeed　whether　the　other　trees　are　anything　other　than　illusions　brought　on　by　eating　too　many　Oglanuts。
　　Exotic　though　this　behaviour　may　seem；　there　is　no　life　form　in　the　Galaxy　which　is　not　in　some　way　guilty　of　the　same　thing；　which　is　why　the　Total　Perspective　Vortex　is　as　horrific　as　it　is。
　　For　when　you　are　put　into　the　Vortex　you　are　given　just　one　momentary　glimpse　of　the　entire　unimaginable　infinity　of　creation；　and　somewhere　in　it　a　tiny　little　marker；　a　microscopic　dot　on　a　microscopic　dot；　which　says　〃You　are　here。〃
　　The　grey　plain　stretched　before　Zaphod；　a　ruined；　shattered　plain。　The　wind　whipped　wildly　over　it。
　　Visible　in　the　middle　was　the　steel　pimple　of　the　dome。　This；　gathered　Zaphod；　was　where　he　was　going。　This　was　the　Total　Perspective　Vortex。
　　As　he　stood　and　gazed　bleakly　at　it；　a　sudden　inhuman　wail　of　terror　emanated　from　it　as　of　a　man　having　his　soul　burnt　from　his　body。　It　screamed　above　the　wind　and　died　away。
　　Zaphod　started　with　fear　and　his　blood　seemed　to　turn　to　liquid　helium。
　　〃Hey；　what　was　that？〃　he　muttered　voicelessly。
　　〃A　recording；〃　said　Gargravarr；　〃of　the　last　man　who　was　put　in　the　Vortex。　It　is　always　played　to　the　next　victim。　A　sort　of　prelude。〃
　　〃Hey；　it　really　sounds　bad。。。〃　stammered　Zaphod；　〃couldn't　we　maybe　slope　off　to　a　party　or　something　for　a　while；　think　it　over？〃
　　〃For　all　I　know；〃　said　Gargravarr's　ethereal　voice；　〃I'm　probably　at　one。　My　body　that　is。　It　goes　to　a　lot　of　parties　without　me。　Says　I　only　get　in　the　way。　Hey　ho。〃
　　〃What　is　all　this　with　your　body？〃　said　Zaphod；　anxious　to　delay　whatever　it　was　that　was　going　to　happen　to　him。
　　〃Well；　it's。。。　it's　busy　you　know；〃　said　Gargravarr　hesitantly。
　　〃You　mean　it's　got　a　mind　of　its　own？〃　said　Zaphod。
　　There　was　a　long　and　slightly　chilly　pause　before　Gargravarr　spoke　again。
　　〃I　have　to　say；〃　he　replied　eventually；　〃that　I　find　that　remark　in　rather　poor　taste。〃
　　Zaphod　muttered　a　bewildered　and　embarrassed　apology。
　　〃No　matter；〃　said　Gargravarr；　〃you　weren't　to　know。〃
　　The　voice　fluttered　unhappily。
　　〃The　truth　is；〃　it　continued　in　tones　which　suggested　he　was　trying　very　hard　to　keep　it　under　control；　〃the　truth　is　that　we　are　currently　undergoing　a　period　of　legal　trial　separation。　I　suspect　it　will　end　in　divorce。〃
　　The　voice　was　still　again；　leaving　Zaphod　with　no　idea　of　what　to　say。　He　mumbled　uncertainly。
　　〃I　think　we　are　probably　not　very　well　suited；〃　said　Gargravarr　again　at　length；　〃we　never　seemed　to　be　happy　doing　the　same　things。　We　always　had　the　greatest　arguments　over　sex　and　fishing。　Eventually　we　tried　to　bine　the　two；　but　that　only　led　to　disaster；　as　you　can　probably　imagine。　And　now　my　body　refuses　to　let　me　in。　It　won't　even　see　me。。。〃
　　He　paused　again；　tragically。　The　wind　whipped　across　the　plain。
　　〃It　says　I　only　inhibit　it。　I　pointed　out　that　in　fact　I　was　meant　to　inhibit　it；　and　it　said　that　that　was　exactly　the　sort　of　smart　alec　remark　that　got　right　up　a　body's　left　nostril；　and　so　we　left　it。　It　will　probably　get　custody　of　my　forename。〃
　　〃Oh。。。〃　said　Zaphod　faintly；　〃and　what's　that？〃
　　〃Pizpot；〃　said　the　voice；　〃My　name　is　Pizpot　Gargravarr。　Says　it　all　really　doesn't　it？〃
　　〃Errr。。。〃　said　Zaphod　sympathetically。