anner.bloodandgold-第94节

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　　　I　picked　up　the　parchment　pages　of　the　letter。　I　moved　through　them　and　then　looked　at　her　again。
　　　Her　tears　had　dried；　and　her　mouth　was　soft；　but　her　eyes　were　filled　with　some　strange　look　that　I　could　not　explain　to　myself。
　　　〃Is　it　the　Talamasca　that　causes　you　fear？〃　I　asked。　〃I　shall　explain　all　this　to　you。　But　see　here　that　I　wrote　to　them　from　a　distant　monastery。　I　left　few　footprints　there；　my　beauty。　I　traveled　the　winds　while　you　were　sleeping　here。〃
　　　There　followed　nothing　but　her　silence。　It　seemed　not　dark　or　cold　but　merely　reserved　and　thoughtful。　But　when　she　moved　her　eyes　to　me；　the　change　in　her　face　was　slow　and　ominous。
　　　With　quiet　words　I　hastened　to　explain　to　her　my　strange　meeting　with　Raymond　Gallant　on　my　last　night　of　true　happiness　in　Venice。　I　explained　in　the　simplest　manner　how　he　had　sought　knowledge　of　us；　and　how　I　had　learnt　from　him　that　Pandora　had　been　seen　in　northern　Europe。
　　　I　talked　of　all　the　things　contained　in　the　letter。　I　talked　of　Amadeo　once　more。　I　spoke　of　my　hatred　of　Santino；　that　he　had　robbed　me　of　all　I　loved　save　her；　and　how　on　that　account　she　was；　of　all　things；　most　precious　to　me。
　　　At　last　I　was　willing　to　say　no　more。　I　was　growing　angry。　I　felt　wronged　and　I　couldn't　understand　her。　Her　silence　hurt　me　more　and　more；　and　I　knew　that　she　could　see　this　in　my　face。
　　　Finally；　I　saw　some　change　in　her。　She　sharpened　her　gaze　and　then　she　spoke：
　　　〃Don't　you　see　the　grievous　error　you've　made？〃　she　asked。　〃Don't　you　hear　it　in　the　lessons　you've　made　known　to　me？　Centuries　ago；　the　young　Satan　worshipers　came　to　you　for　what　you　could　give　when　you　lived　with　Pandora。　You　denied　them　your　precious　knowledge。　You　should　have　revealed　to　them　the　mystery　of　the　Mother　and　the　Father！〃
　　　〃Good　Lord；　how　could　you　believe　such　a　thing？〃
　　　〃And　when　Santino　asked　you　in　Rome；　you　should　have　brought　him　to　this　very　shrine！　You　should　have　shown　to　him　the　mysteries　you　revealed　to　me。　Had　you　done　it；　Marius；　he　would　never　have　been　your　enemy。〃
　　　I　was　enraged　as　I　stared　at　her。　Was　this　my　brilliant　Bianca？
　　　〃Don't　you　see！〃　she　went　on。　〃Over　and　over；　these　unstoppable　fools　have　made　a　cult　of　nothing！　You　could　have　shown　them　　something！〃　She　gestured　towards　me　dismissively　as　though　I　disgusted　her。　〃How　many　decades　have　we　been　here？　How　strong　am　I？　Oh；　you　needn't　answer。　I　know　my　own　endurance。　I　know　my　own　temper。
　　　〃But　don't　you　see；　all　my　understanding　of　our　powers　is　reinforced　by　their　beauty　and　their　majesty！　I　know　whence　we　e！　I　have　seen　you　drink　from　the　Queen。　I　have　seen　you　wake　from　your　swoon。　I　have　seen　your　skin　healing。
　　　〃But　what　did　Amadeo　ever　see？　What　did　Santino　ever　see？　And　you　marvel　at　the　extent　of　their　heresy。〃
　　　〃Don't　call　it　heresy！〃　I　declared　suddenly；　the　words　bursting　from　my　lips。　〃Don't　speak　as　if　this　were　a　worship！　I　have　told　you　that　yes；　there　are　secret　things；　and　things　which　no　one　can　explain！　But　we　are　not　worshipers！〃
　　　〃It　is　a　truth　you　revealed　to　me；〃　she　said；　〃in　their　paradox；　in　their　presence！〃　Her　voice　rose；　ill…tempered　and　utterly　alien　to　her。　〃You　might　have　smashed　Santino's　ill…founded　crusade　with　a　mere　glimpse　of　the　Divine　Parents。〃
　　　
　　　
　　　I　glared　at　her。　A　madness　took　hold　of　me。
　　　I　rose　to　my　feet。　I　looked　about　the　shrine　furiously。
　　　〃Gather　up　all　you　possess；〃　I　said　suddenly。　〃I'm　casting　you　out　of　here！〃
　　　She　sat　still　as　she　had　been　before；　gazing　up　at　me　in　cold　defiance。
　　　〃You　heard　what　I　said。　Gather　your　precious　clothes；　your　looking　glass；　your　pearls；　your　jewels；　your　books；　whatever　you　want。　I'm　taking　you　out　of　here。〃
　　　For　a　long　moment　she　looked　at　me；　glowering；　I　should　say；　as　if　she　didn't　believe　me。
　　　Then　all　at　once　she　moved；　obeying　me　in　a　series　of　quick　gestures。
　　　And　within　the　space　of　a　few　moments；　she　stood　before　me；　her　cloak　about　her；　her　bundle　clasped　to　her　chest；　looking　as　she　had　some　countless　years　before　when　first　I　had　brought　her　here。
　　　I　don't　know　whether　she　looked　back　at　the　face　of　the　Mother　and　the　Father。　I　did　not。　I　did　not　for　one　moment　believe　that　either　would　prevent　this　dreadful　expulsion。
　　　Within　moments；　I　was　on　the　wind；　and　I　didn't　know　where　I　would　take　her。
　　　I　traveled　higher　and　faster　than　I　had　dared　to　do　before；　and　found　it　well　within　my　power。　Indeed；　my　own　speed　amazed　me。　The　land　before　me　had　been　burnt　in　recent　wars　and　I　knew　it　to　be　spotted　here　and　there　with　ruined　castles。
　　　It　was　to　one　of　these　that　I　took　her；　making　certain　that　the　town　all　around　had　been　pillaged　and　deserted；　and　then　I　set　her　down　in　a　stone　room　within　the　broken　fortress；　and　went　in　search　of　a　place　where　she　might　sleep　by　day　in　the　ruined　graveyard。
　　　It　did　not　take　me　long　to　be　confident　that　she　could　survive　here。　In　the　burnt…out　chapel　there　were　crypts　beneath　the　floor。　There　were　hiding　places　everywhere。
　　　I　went　back　to　her。　She　was　standing　as　I　had　left　her；　her　face　as　solemn　as　before；　her　brilliant　oval　eyes　fixed　on　me。
　　　〃I　want　no　more　of　you；〃　I　said。　I　was　shuddering。　〃I　want　no　more　of　you　that　you　could　say　such　a　thing；　that　you　could　blame　me　that　Santino　took　from　me　my　child！　I　can　have　no　more　of　you。　You　have　no　grasp　of　the　burden　I　have　carried　throughout　time　or　how　many　times　I　have　lamented　it！　What　do　you　think　your　precious　Santino　would　do　had　he　the　Mother　and　the　Father　in　his　possession？　How　many　demons　could　he　bring　to　drink　from　them？　And　who　knows　what　the　Mother　and　Father　might　permit　in　their　silence？　Who　knows　what　they　have　ever　wanted？〃
　　　〃You　are　an　evil　and　negligent　brother　to　me；〃　she　said　coldly；　glancing　about　herself。　〃Why　not　leave　me　to　the　wolves　in　the　forest？　But　go。　I　want　no　more　of　you　either。　Tell　your　scholars　in　the　Talamasca
　　　　where　you　have　deposited　me　and　perhaps　they　will　offer　me　their　kind　shelter。　But　be　gone。　Whatever；　be　gone！　I　don't　want　you　here！〃
　　　Though　up　to　that　second　I　had　been　hanging　upon　her　every　word；　I　abandoned　her。
　　　Hours　passed。　I　traveled　the　skies；　not　knowing　where　I　went；　
　　　marveling　at　the　blurred　landscape　beneath　me。
　　　My　power　was　far　greater　than　it　had　ever　been！　Would　I　to　try　it；　I　could　easily　reach　England。
　　　I　saw　the　mountains　and　then　the　sea；　and　then　suddenly　my　soul　ached　so　pletely　that　I　could　do　nothing　but　will　myself　to　go　back　to　her。
　　　Bianca；　what　have　I　done？
　　　Bianca；　pray　that　you　have　waited　for　me！
　　　Out　of　the　deep　dark　heavens　I　somehow　returned　to　her。　I　found　her　in　the　stone　room；　sitting　in　the　corner；　collected　and　still；　just　as　if　she　had　been　in　the　shrine；　and　as　I　knelt　before　her；　she　reached　up　and　threw　her　arms　about　me。
　　　I　sobbed　as　I　embraced　her。
　　　〃My　beautiful　Bianca；　my　beautiful　one；　I　am　so　sorry；　so　sorry；　my　love；〃　I　said。
　　　〃Marius；　I　love　you　with　my　whole　heart　eternally。〃　She　cried　as　freely　and　pletely　as　I　did。　〃My　precious　Marius；〃　she　said。　〃I　have　never　loved　anyone　as　I　love　you。　Forgive　me。〃
　　　We　could　do　nothing　but　weep　for　the　longest　time　and　then　I　took　her　home　to　the　shrine；　and　forted　her；　bing　her　hair　as　I　so　loved　to　do　and　trimming　it　with　her　slender　ropes　of　pearls　until　she　was　my　perfect　lovely　one。
　　　〃What　did　I　mean　to　say？〃　she　implored。　〃I　don't　know。　Of　course　you　could　not　have　trusted　any　of　them。　And　had　you　shown　them　the　Queen　and　the　King　some　horrid　anarchy　might　well　have　e　from　it！〃
　　　〃Yes；　you　have　said　the　perfect　word；〃　I　answered；　〃some　awful　anarchy。〃　I　glanced　quickly　at　the　still　impassive　faces。　I　went　on。　〃You　must　understand；　oh；　please；　if　you　love　me　at　all；　understand　what　power　exists　within　them。〃　I　stopped　suddenly。　〃Oh；　don't　you　see；　as　much　as　I　lament　their　silence；　perhaps　it　is　for　them　a　form　of　peace　which　they　have　chosen　for　the　good　of　everyone。〃
　　　This　was　the　very　essence　of　it　and　I　think　we　both　knew　it。
　　　I　feared　what　might　happen　if　Akasha　were　ever　to　stand　up　from　her　throne；　if　she　were　ever　to　speak　or　move。　I　feared　it　with　all　my　reason。
　　　Yet　still；　that　night　and　every　night　I　believed　that　if　and　when　Akasha　were　ever　waked；　a　divine　sweetness　would　pour　forth　from　her。
　　　Once　Bianca　had　fallen　asleep；　I　knelt　before　the　Queen　in　the　abject　manner　which　was　so　mon　to　me　now；　and　which　I　would　never　have　revealed　to　Pandora。
　　　〃Mother；　I　hunger　for　you；〃　I　whispered。　I　opened　my　hands。　〃Let　me　touch　you　with　love；〃　I　said。　〃Tell　me　if　I　have　been　in　error。　Should　I　have　brought　the　Satan　worshipers　to　your　shrine？　Should　I　have　revealed　you　in　all　your　loveliness　to　Santino？〃
　　　I　closed　my　eyes。　I　opened　them。
　　　〃Unchangeable　Ones；〃　I　said　in　a　soft　voice；　〃speak　to　me。〃
　　　I　approached　her　and　laid　my　lips　on　her　throat。　I　pierced　the　crisp　white　skin　with　my　teeth；　and　the　thick　blood　came　into　me　slowly。
　　　The　garden　surrounded　me。　Oh；　yes；　this　I　love　above　all。　And　it　was　the　garden　of　the　monastery　in　spring；　how　wondrous；　and　my　priest　was　there。　I　was　walking　with　him　in　the　clean　swept　cloister。　This　was　the　supreme　dream；　for　its　colors　were　rich