hr.thecarpetbaggers-第49节

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　And　lurking　all　the　while　in　the　deep　recesses　of　his　mind　was　the　fear　…　the　fear　of　discovery；　the　fear　of　seeing　the　hurt　and　shock　and　loathing　e　to　the　faces　of　his　parents　once　they　knew。
　But　when　she　looked　at　him；　smiled　at　him；　touched　him；　all　that　was　suddenly　gone　and　he　would　do　anything　in　the　world　to　please　her。　He　abased　himself；　groveled　before　her；　wept　with　the　agony　of　his　self…flagellation。　Then　the　fear　would　return。　Because　there　was　no　escaping　the　fact。　She　was　his　sister。　It　was　wrong。
　It　was　with　a　feeling　of　relief　that　he　saw　the　crazy　summer　e　to　an　end。　It　was　over；　he　thought。　Away　from　her；　he　would　be　able　to　find　himself　again；　to　control　the　fevers　that　she　set　raging　in　his　blood。　When　they　would　e　again　to　the　beach　next　summer；　it　would　be　different。　He　would　be　different；　she　would　be　different。
　No　more；　he　would　say　to　her。　No　more。　It's　wrong。
　That　was　what　he　believed　when　he　returned　to　school　at　the　end　of　that　summer。
　
　7
　
　〃I'M　PREGNANT；〃　SHE　SAID。　〃I'M　GOING　TO　HAVE　a　baby。〃
　Laddie　felt　a　dull　ache　spread　over　him。　Somehow；　this　was　the　way　he'd　always　known　it　would　turn　out。　Ever　since　that　first　summer　two　years　ago。　He　looked　up　at　her；　squinting　his　eyes　against　the　sun。　〃How　do　you　know？〃
　She　spoke　quietly；　as　if　she　were　just　talking　about　the　weather。　〃I'm　late；〃　she　said　simply。　〃I've　never　been　late　before。〃
　He　looked　down　at　his　hands。　They　were　sun…darkened　against　the　white　sand。　〃What　are　you　going　to　do？〃
　〃I　don't　know；〃　she　answered。　Her　white…blond　hair　glittered　in　the　sunlight　as　she　turned　and　looked　out　at　the　ocean。　〃If　nothing　happens　by　tomorrow；　I　guess　I'll　have　to　tell　Mother。〃
　〃Will　you…　will　you　tell　her　about　us？〃
　〃No；〃　she　said　swiftly；　in　a　low　voice。　She　picked　the　next　question　from　his　lips。　〃I'll　tell　her　it　was　Tommy；　or　Bill；　or　Joe；〃　she　answered；　still　not　looking　at　him。
　Despite　himself；　he　felt　a　twinge　of　jealousy。　〃Did　you…　with　all　of　them？〃　he　asked　hesitantly。
　Her　dark　eyes　fixed　on　his　own　now。　〃No；〃　she　said　emphatically。　〃Of　course　not。　Only　with　you。〃
　〃What　if　she　talks　to　them？　Then　she'll　know　you're　lying。〃
　〃She　won't；〃　Rina　said　positively。　〃Especially　when　I　tell　her　I　don't　know　which　one　it　was。〃
　He　stared　at　her。　In　so　many　ways；　she　was　older　than　he。　〃What　do　you　think　she'll　do？〃
　Rina　shrugged　her　shoulders。　〃I　don't　know。　There's　not　very　much　she　can　do；　I　guess。〃
　He　watched　her　walk　down　the　beach　to　meet　some　friends；　then　rolled　over　in　the　sand　and　placed　his　head　on　his　arms。　He　groaned　aloud。　It　had　happened。　Somewhere　in　the　back　of　his　mind　he　had　always　known　it　would。　He　remembered　the　night　just　a　few　short　weeks　ago。
　They　had　e　down　to　the　beach　that　summer　as　they　did　every　year。　But　this　time；　it　was　going　to　be　different。　He　had　sworn　it　to　himself。　And　he　had　told　her；　too。
　〃No　more；〃　he　said。　〃It's　stupid；　it's　kid　stuff。　You　stick　to　your　friends　and　I'll　stick　to　mine。　We'll　only　get　in　trouble　if　we　keep　it　up。〃
　She　had　agreed。　Even　promised。　And　he　had　to　admit　she　had　kept　her　word。　It　was　he　who　had　broken　his　vow。　And　all　because　of　that　damned　bottle　of　orange　pop。
　It　had　been　a　rainy　afternoon　and　they　were　alone　in　the　cottage。　It　was　hot　and　humid　and　the　air　clung　heavily　to　his　body；　sheathing　it　in　an　invisible　choking　blanket。　His　shirt　and　trousers　were　wringing　with　perspiration　when　he　went　into　the　kitchen。　He　opened　the　icebox　but　the　usual　bottle　of　orange　pop　he　kept　there　was　gone。　He　closed　the　icebox　door　angrily。
　He　went　upstairs　and　past　her　open　door　before　his　mind　absorbed　what　his　eyes　had　seen。　He　walked　back　and　stood　in　the　open　doorway。　She　was　naked　on　the　bed；　half　reclining；　the　bottle　of　orange　pop　in　her　hand。　She　was　staring　at　it　intently。
　He　felt　the　pulse　begin　to　hammer　in　his　head；　the　perspiration　break　out　anew　beneath　his　clothing。　〃What　are　you　doing　with　my　orange　pop？〃　he　asked。　He　knew　he　sounded　stupid；　even　as　he　spoke。
　She　moved　her　head　slightly　on　the　pillow　and　looked　at　him。　Her　eyes　were　heavy…lidded　and　hazy。　〃Drinking　it；〃　she　answered　huskily；　putting　it　to　her　mouth。　〃What　do　you　think？〃
　The　soda　overflowed　her　mouth　and　ran　in　orange　driblets　down　her　cheeks；　across　her　breasts　to　the　convex　of　her　belly　and　onto　the　white　sheet。　She　smiled　at　him　and　held　out　the　bottle。　〃Want　some？〃
　As　if　he　were　someone　else；　he　saw　himself　cross　the　room　and　lift　the　bottle　to　his　lips。　It　was　warm　from　her　touch。　He　felt　the　sweetness　of　the　liquid　spill　into　his　mouth。　He　looked　down　at　her。
　She　was　smiling　up　at　him。　'You're　excited；〃　she　said　softly。　〃And　you　said　you　wouldn't　be　any　more。　But　you　are。〃
　Some　of　the　orange　soda　spilled　down　across　his　shirt　as　he　suddenly　realized　he　had　betrayed　himself。　He　turned　to　go　but　her　hand　caught　him　around　the　thigh。　He　almost　screamed　with　the　sudden　inflaming　agony　of　her　touch。　
　〃Just　this　once　more；〃　she　whispered。　〃And　then　never　again。〃
　He　stood　frozen；　afraid　to　move；　afraid　he　would　stumble　and　fall　because　of　the　trembling　within　him。　〃No；〃　he　said　hoarsely。
　〃Please；〃　she　whispered；　her　fingers　opening；　searching。
　He　stood　there　as　if　paralyzed。　An　anguished　moan　came　from　deep　within　him。　There　would　be　no　more　of　this；　no　more　humiliation；　no　more　groveling　before　her。　This　time　she　would　learn　to　leave　him　alone。
　With　one　hand；　he　seized　her　wrists　and　bent　her　back　to　the　bed。　Her　eyes　were　still　confident；　still　unafraid　as　they　watched　him。　Suddenly；　he　pressed　his　lips　to　hers。　Her　mouth　was　warm　and　moist　and　still　tasted　of　the　orange　soda。　Then　he　moved　his　head　and　his　lips　were　traveling　down　her　body；　across　her　throat；　over　her　breasts。
　It　was　then　she　began　to　fight　him。　〃No！〃　she　whispered；　writhing　away　from　him。　〃No！　Don't　touch　me！〃
　But　he　didn't　even　hear　her。　He　could　feel　the　red　rage　pumping　in　his　temples；　there　was　a　congestion　in　his　chest。　He　felt　her　hand　pull　loose　and　rake　his　chest；　leaving　a　clean；　hot　path　of　pain　in　its　wake。　Bewildered；　he　looked　down　at　himself　and　saw　the　bloody　traces　of　her　fingernails　on　his　flesh。　A　terrible　anger　rose　up　in　him。
　〃You　cock…teaser！〃　he　yelled；　swinging　his　free　hand。　The　blow　caught　her　on　the　side　of　her　face。　knocking　her　back　against　the　bed。　She　stared　up　at　him　with　frightened　eyes。
　〃You　bitch！〃　he　said；　tearing　his　belt　from　his　trousers。　He　raised　her　arms　over　her　head　and　lashed　her　wrists　to　the　iron　bedpost。　He　picked　up　the　half…empty　bottle　from　the　bed　where　it　had　fallen。　〃Still　thirsty？〃
　She　shook　her　head。
　He　tilted　the　bottle　and　began　to　laugh　as　the　orange　soda　ran　down　over　her。　〃Drink！〃　he　said。　〃Drink　all　you　can！〃
　The　bottle　flew　from　his　hands　as　she　kicked　it　away。　He　caught　at　her　legs　and　pinned　them　against　the　bed　with　his　knees。　He　laughed　wildly。　〃Now；　my　darling　little　sister；　there'll　be　no　more　games。〃
　〃No　more　games；〃　she　gasped；　staring　up　into　his　eyes。　His　face　came　down　and　his　mouth　covered　hers。　She　felt　herself　begin　to　relax。
　Then　the　fierce；　sharp　pain　penetrated　her　body。　She　screamed。　His　hand　came　down　heavily　over　her　mouth；　as　again　and　again　the　pain　ripped　through　her。
　And　all　that　was　left　was　the　sound　of　her　voice；　screaming　silently　in　the　confines　of　her　throat；　and　the　ugliness　and　horror　of　his　body　on　her　own。
　
　Laddie　rolled　over　on　the　sand。　It　was　all　over　now。　Tomorrow　his　mother　would　know。　And　it　would　be　his　fault。　They　would　blame　him　and　they　would　be　right。　No　matter　what；　he　shouldn't　have　let　it　happen。　A　shadow　fell　across　him　and　he　looked　up。
　Rina　was　standing　there。　She　dropped　to　the　sand　beside　him。　〃What　are　we　going　to　do？〃
　〃I　don't　know；〃　he　said　dully。
　She　reached　a　hand　out　to　his。　〃I　shouldn't　have　let　you　do　it；〃　she　whispered。
　〃You　couldn't　have　stopped　me；〃　he　said。　〃I　must　have　been　crazy。〃　He　looked　at　her。　〃If　we　were　anybody　else；　we　could　run　away　and　get　married。〃
　〃I　know。〃
　His　voice　turned　bitter。　〃It　isn't　as　if　we　were　really　brother　and　sister。　If　only　they　hadn't　adopted…　〃
　〃But　they　did；〃　Rina　said　quickly；　and　with　a　sure　knowledge。　〃Besides；　we　can't　blame　it　on　them。　It　wasn't　their　fault。〃　She　felt　the　tears　e　into　her　eyes。　She　sat　there　silently　as　they　rolled　down　her　cheeks。
　〃Don't　cry。〃
　〃I…　I　can't　help　it；〃　she　whispered。　〃I'm　scared。〃
　〃I　am；　too；〃　he　said。　〃But　crying　won't　help。〃
　The　tears　kept　rolling　silently　down　her　cheeks。　After　a　moment；　she　heard　his　voice。　She　looked　at　him。　His　lips　moved　awkwardly。　〃Even　if　you　are　my　sister；　you　know　that　I　love　you？〃
　She　didn't　answer。
　〃I've　always　loved　you；　I　guess。　I　couldn't　help　it。　Somehow；　the　other　girls　were　nothing　when　I　pared　them　with　you。〃
　〃I　guess　the　reason　I　was　so　bad　was　because　I　was　jealous　of　the　girls　you　went　with；〃　she　confessed。　〃I　didn't　want　them　to　have　you。　That's　why　I　did　what　I　did。　I　couldn't　let　any　other　boy　touch　me。　I　couldn't　stand　them。〃
　His　hand　tightened　on　her　fingers。　〃Maybe　it'll　turn　out　all　right　yet；〃　he　said；　trying　for　reassurance。
　〃Maybe；〃　she　said；　a　dull　hopelessness　in　her　voice。
　Then　they　ran　out　of　language　and　they　turned　and