jefflong.yearzero-第61节
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never broke the mental chains。 They never did go for the wall。 And the clones won't either。〃
〃But they might。 You want them to。〃
〃It's not going to happen。〃
〃What are you so happy about？〃 she said to him。 〃Even if they made it out； the virus would do them in。〃
〃You said their immune systems have an edge over ours；〃 Nathan Lee reminded her。 〃They'd have three years。〃
〃They'd be doomed。 Three years； that's all。〃 She dismissed it。
〃Three years；〃 Nathan Lee reiterated。 〃That's a lot of world。〃
She frowned。 〃Turning them loose into the plague；〃 she said； 〃that would be the same as injecting them with virus。 They're safe here。〃
〃I'm not talking about turning them loose。〃
〃You're thinking it； though。 I can tell。 But it would be a death sentence for them。〃
〃For them；〃 he retorted； 〃it would be a whole lifetime。〃
She blinked patiently； as if he were dashing around throwing open the shutters； letting in unnecessary light。 〃Three years；〃 she said。 〃Then they'd die。 None of them would survive。 We know that for a fact。 Their clonal twins were exposed to the virus in South Sector labs two and three years ago。 At first we had high hopes； because they seemed immune。 But then it turned out they're only protected against whatever benign strain was running along the edges of year zero。 And what's out there now isn't benign。 They're safe here。〃
〃For now；〃 he said。
〃Once we find the cure；〃 she said； 〃they'll have a real lifetime ahead of them。 Thirty years； forty； fifty。〃
Nathan Lee smeared peanut butter on his slice of apple。 He took a bite。 She utterly believed in the cure。Once； not if。 〃Put yourself in their place；〃 he said。 〃Faced with what they face right now； you'd take three years in a heartbeat。 So would I。〃
She gave him a strange look。 〃If I offered you the certainty of three years versus the possibility of thirty； you'd take the three？〃
〃Hypothetically speaking？〃 he said。
〃Whatever。〃
He felt bold； a little swept away。 〃Think what we could see out there； Miranda。〃
〃We？〃 she said。
She had heard it。 He let the word hang there。 She could it take it how she wanted。 It was an invitation； or as much of one as he dared with her。。。or with himself。
He was ever mindful of Grace； ever。 It wearied him； and his weariness felt like the worst betrayal。 His quest had bee a curse。 His love had bee a disease； or worse an abstraction。 He loved his daughter because she had been his to love。 Now he could not move ahead with or without her。 Sometimes he could barely breathe。 To speak of freedom like this felt perilous。 He was so afraid his heart might change； and then who would he be？ But how could he not dream？
When he didn't mit himself any deeper； she said； 〃Is that what you'd do then？ Run away？〃
〃That's not what I'd call it。〃 He suddenly said； 〃Have you ever seen Paris？〃
〃Paris？〃
He rushed on。 〃It would be all ours。 Or Barcelona； or Vienna。 The Alps in summer。 Or Syria； I know the ruins。 And Petra； it's incredible。 The light at noon。 The cliffs are red。〃
〃Are you trying to seduce me？〃 She sounded stern。 Analytical。
He quickly backpedaled。 〃You said we were talking hypothetically。〃
〃No； I didn't。〃
〃You did。〃
〃That was you。〃 She was earnest； not playful。 He'd blundered。
〃I'm teaching myself to fly；〃 he stated； scrapping the plural。 〃I got books from the library。 There's software that walks you through it。 Small fixed…wing aircraft。 That's the way to go； hopping from one airfield to another。〃
In his mind's eye； he had imagined setting off through the grand remains； winging deep between the canyons of New York City； setting off across the Atlantic； looting； handling fantastic treasures； exploring。 〃Paris would look as ancient as Angkor Wat；〃 he said。 〃The Louvre would be mossy。 The bodies would be bone。 You could camp on the beaches of Greek islands。〃 She frowned。 He corrected himself。 〃One；〃 he said； 〃could sleep on top of the pyramids。 I could go wherever I wanted。〃
He knew something about traveling through the land of the dead。 With care； he might make it all the way around the planet。 The world would devour him； but not before he devoured it。
〃You're leaving？〃 she said。
〃Call it a dream；〃 he said。 To love someone who was living； for a change； or at least love someone within his reach。 He raced over his guilt； trying to get ahead of it。 It was a matter of momentum。 If he paused to think of what he was thinking； he would stall。
〃But you can't；〃 she said。
His heart lifted。 Was she reaching for him？ 〃I'd never be missed；〃 he tried。
〃What about the city？〃
Her disbelief backed him off。 He had never heard her say it like that； as if she held the life of this place in the palms of her hands。
〃Los Alamos？〃
〃Yes；〃 she insisted。 〃We need everyone here。 It's all here。〃
〃All what？〃
〃Everything。〃 She scooped at the air。 〃Salvation。〃
She was dead serious。 〃I thought you were going to say； you know； the last of civilization；〃 he teased。
〃That； too；〃 she added without a pause。 〃When all the other cities are dead； we'll be the last city。〃
〃I guess that's something to carve on the tombstone；〃 he said。 He wanted one final grand expedition through the ruins。 And she wanted to nurse civilization right up to its last gasp。 It made him feel lonely； for her as well as him。
〃Don't you see？〃 she said。 〃The survivors will e。〃
〃Ah； them；〃 he said。 The missing links。
〃The satellite teams have tracked over seven hundred survivor incidents now。 Campfires； mostly； but car headlights； too； and the heat signatures of engines。 They're out there； circling around； keeping alive。〃Inheriting the earth； thought Nathan Lee。Doing what I want to do。
〃They're all overseas；〃 he pointed out。 〃They'll never make it here。 They don't even know we exist。〃
〃But there will be American survivors。〃 Quietly； she said； 〃Once America dies off。 The disease will sort them out。〃
〃What makes you think they'll e here？〃
She gestured at the lights。 〃They'll see us from far away。〃
〃But who will they be； these survivors？〃
〃They could be our last hope；〃 she said。 It was like a mantra。 〃They may have developed antibodies to modern Corfu。。。。〃
〃No；〃 he interrupted。 〃I mean who will they be？〃
She was confused。 〃Americans。 Probably people from this land mass； maybe migrant groups drifting south from Canada。。。。〃
〃Be careful what you wish for；〃 he said。 〃You want them to be lambs。 But what if they're wolves？〃
She didn't answer。
〃You have no idea what it's like out there。〃
She looked away from him at her beloved city。
〃Maybe you should be afraid；〃 he said。
She stood up。 〃I expected better of you；〃 she said。 He listened to her footsteps crunch through the gravel。 The door shut behind her。 After she was gone； he continued sitting on the edge of the roof； wondering what was real outside of his desire。
AN HOUR LATER； he reached the outskirts of South Sector； breathing hard。 He came here often； always like this； stealing through the trees； covered in night。 It was cold； but the jog had warmed him。 As always； South Sector lay beyond the forest like an island of light。 For a place with such a dark reputation； it was ungodly bright。 Klieg lights blazed。 The fence line glittered like a a silvery wall。
It had bee a regular stand…off。 South Sector held Ochs。 Ochs held the secret of Grace。 Nathan Lee had the wire cutters and the knife to cut her free。 But not the courage。 It was more than that。 He had lost his direction。 The world had never seemed so immense。 What if Ochs was only an excuse to be lost？ What if Grace no longer existed？ He dueled with his doubts。
Nathan Lee edged through the trees。 The tops of scattered clusters of buildings stood above the gleaming dike of triple fence。 He drew closer。 The pound foreshortened。 At last he could see only guard towers and coils of razor wire and warning signs surrounding it。
The cleared earth blazed white。 There was no in…between in that no man's land。 No shadows allowed。 It was always like this。 The clones wanted out。 He wanted in。
They would catch him。 That was a given。 The clearing was marked。 It was mined and there were sensors and cameras and patrols。 Even so； he might have stepped into the light。 But he didn't trust his destiny。
〃Nathan Lee。〃
He ignored the whisper。 It was the forest。 The wind。
The voice whispered again。 This time； he ducked and turned； and it was Miranda。
She shifted in the screen of brush and woods。 The shadows striped her。 Her eyes were green lights in the darkness。
She had followed him。 He was flustered； as much by her stealth as by his carelessness。 You had to run to stay with her； but that was by day。 Where had she learned to move through the night？ There was no path in here。 From night to night he wasn't sure how he would approach。
〃What are you doing？〃 he whispered。
The forest changed her。 She was Miranda； but different。 She moved backward into the deeper shadows。 She was sure of herself。 His foot snapped a twig。 He lost sight of her。 She moved； and he found her again。 The shadows streamed like water。
He followed her further and further away from South Sector。 The light dwindled。 She paused。 She didn't stop； only let him catch up。 She stayed in moti
