their silver wedding journey v3-第36节

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make　it　no　more　believe　in　at　the　time　than　those　whom　they　afterwards
weary　in　boasting　of　it。

The　ship　was　very　full；　but　Mrs。　March　did　not　show　the　slightest
curiosity　to　know　who　her　fellow…passengers　were。　　She　said　that　she
wished　to　be　let　perfectly　alone；　even　by　her　own　emotions；　and　for　this
reason　she　forbade　March　to　bring　her　a　list　of　the　passengers　till　after
they　had　left　Queenstown　lest　it　should　be　too　exciting。　　He　did　not　take
the　trouble　to　look　it　up；　therefore；　and　the　first　night　out　he　saw　no
one　whom　he　knew　at　dinner；　but　the　next　morning　at　breakfast　he　found
himself　to　his　great　satisfaction　at　the　same　table　with　the　Eltwins。
They　were　so　much　at　ease　with　him　that　even　Mrs。　Eltwin　took　part　in　the
talk；　and　told　him　how　they　had　spent　the　time　of　her　husband's　rigorous
after…cure　in　Switzerland；　and　now　he　was　going　home　much　better　than
they　had　expected。　　She　said　they　had　rather　thought　of　spending　the
winter　in　Europe；　but　had　given　it　up　because　they　were　both　a　little
homesick。　　March　confessed　that　this　was　exactly　the　case　with　his　wife
and　himself；　and　he　had　to　add　that　Mrs。　March　was　not　very　well
otherwise；　and　he　should　be　glad　to　be　at　home　on　her　account。　　The
recurrence　of　the　word　home　seemed　to　deepen　Eltwin's　habitual　gloom；
and　Mrs。　Eltwin　hastened　to　leave　the　subject　of　their　return　for　inquiry
into　Mrs。　March's　condition；　her　interest　did　not　so　far　overcome　her
shyness　that　she　ventured　to　propose　a　visit　to　her；　and　March　found　that
the　fact　of　the　Eltwins'　presence　on　board　did　not　agitate　his　wife。
It　seemed　rather　to　comfort　her；　and　she　said　she　hoped　he　would　see　all
he　could　of　the　poor　old　things。　　She　asked　if　he　had　met　any　one　else　he
knew；　and　he　was　able　to　tell　her　that　there　seemed　to　be　a　good　many
swells　on　board；　and　this　cheered　her　very　much；　though　he　did　not　know
them；　she　liked　to　be　near　the　rose；　though　it　was　not　a　flower　that　she
really　cared　for。

She　did　not　ask　who　the　swells　were；　and　March　took　no　trouble　to　find
out。　　He　took　no　trouble　to　get　a　passenger…list；　and　he　had　the　more
trouble　when　he　tried　at　last；　the　lists　seemed　to　have　all　vanished；　as
they　have　a　habit　of　doing；　after　the　first　day；　the　one　that　he　made
interest　for　with　the　head　steward　was　a　second…hand　copy；　and　had　no　one
he　knew　in　it　but　the　Eltwins。　　The　social　solitude；　however；　was　rather
favorable　to　certain　other　impressions。　　There　seemed　even　more　elderly
people　than　there　were　on　the　Norumbia；　the　human　atmosphere　was　gray　and
sober；　there　was　nothing　of　the　gay　expansion　of　the　outward　voyage；
there　was　little　talking　or　laughing　among　those　autumnal　men　who　were
going　seriously　and　anxiously　home；　with　faces　fiercely　set　for　the
coming　grapple；　or　necks　meekly　bowed　for　the　yoke。　　They　had　eaten　their
cake；　and　it　had　been　good；　but　there　remained　a　discomfort　in　the
digestion。　　They　sat　about　in　silence；　and　March　fancied　that　the　flown
summer　was　as　dreamlike　to　each　of　them　as　it　now　was　to　him。　　He　hated
to　be　of　their　dreary　company；　but　spiritually　he　knew　that　he　was　of　it；
and　he　vainly　turned　to　cheer　himself　with　the　younger　passengers。　　Some
matrons　who　went　about　clad　in　furs　amused　him；　for　they　must　have　been
unpleasantly　warm　in　their　jackets　and　boas；　nothing　but　the　hope　of
being　able　to　tell　the　customs　inspector　with　a　good　conscience　that　the
things　had　been　worn；　would　have　sustained　one　lady　draped　from　head　to
foot　in　Astrakhan。

They　were　all　getting　themselves　ready　for　the　fray　or　the　play　of　the
coming　winter；　but　there　seemed　nothing　joyous　in　the　preparation。　　There
were　many　young　girls；　as　there　always　are　everywhere；　but　there　were　not
many　young　men；　and　such　as　there　were　kept　to　the　smoking…room。　　There
was　no　sign　of　flirtation　among　them；　he　would　have　given　much　for　a
moment　of　the　pivotal　girl；　to　see　whether　she　could　have　brightened
those　gloomy　surfaces　with　her　impartial　lamp。　　March　wished　that　he
could　have　brought　some　report　from　the　outer　world　to　cheer　his　wife；
as　he　descended　to　their　state…room。　　They　had　taken　what　they　could　get
at　the　eleventh　hour；　and　they　had　got　no　such　ideal　room　as　they　had　in
the　Norumbia。　　It　was；　as　Mrs。　March　graphically　said；　a　basement　room。
It　was　on　the　north　side　of　the　ship；　which　is　a　cold　exposure；　and　if
there　had　been　any　sun　it　could　not　have　got　into　their　window；　which　was
half　the　time　under　water。　　The　green　waves；　laced　with　foam；　hissed　as
they　ran　across　the　port；　and　the　electric　fan　in　the　corridor　moaned
like　the　wind　in　a　gable。

He　felt　a　sinking　of　the　heart　as　he　pushed　the　state…room　door　open；　and
looked　at　his　wife　lying　with　her　face　turned　to　the　wall；　and　he　was
going　to　withdraw；　thinking　her　asleep；　when　she　said　quietly；　〃Are　we
going　down？〃

〃Not　that　I　know　of；〃　he　answered　with　a　gayety　he　did　not　feel。　　〃But
I'll　ask　the　head　steward。〃

She　put　out　her　hand　behind　her　for　him　to　take；　and　clutched　his　fingers
convulsively。　　〃If　I'm　never　any　better；　you　will　always　remember　this
happy；　summer；　won't　you？　　Oh；　it's　been　such　a　happy　summer！　　It　has
been　one　long　joy；　one　continued　triumph！　But　it　was　too　late；　we　were
too　old；　and　it's　broken　me。〃

The　time　had　been　when　he　would　have　attempted　comfort；　when　he　would
have　tried　mocking；　but　that　time　was　long　past；　he　could　only　pray
inwardly　for　some　sort　of　diversion；　but　what　it　was　to　be　in　their
barren　circumstance　he　was　obliged　to　leave　altogether　to　Providence。
He　ventured；　pending　an　answer　to　his　prayers　upon　the　question；　〃Don't
you　think　I'd　better　see　the　doctor；　and　get　you　some　sort　of　tonic？〃

She　suddenly　turned　and　faced　him。　　〃The　doctor！　　Why；　I'm　not　sick；
Basil！　　If　you　can　see　the　purser　and　get　our　rooms　changed；　or　do
something　to　stop　those　waves　from　slapping　against　that　horrible
blinking　one…eyed　window；　you　can　save　my　life；　but　no　tonic　is　going　to
help　me。〃

She　turned　her　face　from　him　again；　and　buried　it　in　the　bedclothes；
while　he　looked　desperately　at　the　racing　waves；　and　the　port　that　seemed
to　open　and　shut　like　a　weary　eye。

〃Oh；　go　away！〃　she　implored。　　〃I　shall　be　better　presently；　but　if　you
stand　there　like　that　Go　and　see　if　you　can't　get　some　other　room；
where　I　needn't　feel　as　if　I　were　drowning；　all　the　way　over。〃

He　obeyed；　so　far　as　to　go　away　at　once；　and　having　once　started；　he　did
not　stop　short　of　the　purser's　office。　　He　made　an　excuse　of　getting
greenbacks　for　some　English　bank…notes；　and　then　he　said　casually　that　he
supposed　there　would　be　no　chance　of　having　his　room　on　the　lower　deck
changed　for　something　a　little　less　intimate　with　the　sea。　　The　purser
was　not　there　to　take　the　humorous　view；　but　he　conceived　that　March
wanted　something　higher　up；　and　he　was　able　to　offer　him　a　room　of　those
on　the　promenade　where　he　had　seen　swells　going　in　and　out；　for　six
hundred　dollars。　　March　did　not　blench；　but　said　he　would　get　his　wife　to
look　at　it　with　him；　and　then　he　went　out　somewhat　dizzily　to　take
counsel　with　himself　how　he　should　put　the　matter　to　her。　　She　would　be
sure　to　ask　what　the　price　of　the　new　room　would　be；　and　he　debated
whether　to　take　it　and　tell　her　some　kindly　lie　about　it；　or　trust　to　the
bracing　effect　of　the　sum　named　in　helping　restore　the　lost　balance　of
her　nerves。　　He　was　not　so　rich　that　he　could　throw　six　hundred　dollars
away；　but　there　might　be　worse　things；　and　he　walked　up　and　down
thinking。　　All　at　once　it　flashed　upon　him　that　he　had　better　see　the
doctor；　anyway；　and　find　out　whether　there　were　not　some　last　hope　in
medicine　before　he　took　the　desperate　step　before　him。　　He　turned　in　half
his　course；　and　ran　into　a　lady　who　had　just　emerged　from　the　door　of　the
promenade　laden　with　wraps；　and　who　dropped　them　all　and　clutched　him　to
save　herself　from　falling。

〃Why；　Mr。　March！〃　she　shrieked。

〃Miss　Triscoe！〃　he　returned；　in　the　astonishment　which　he　shared　with　her
to　the　extent　of　letting　the　shawls　he　had　knocked　from　her　hold　lie
between　them　till　she　began　to　pick　them　up　herself。　　Then　he　joined　her
and　in　the　relief　of　their　common　occupation　they　contrived　to　possess
each　other　of　the　reason　of　their　presence　on；　the　same　boat。　　She　had
sorrowed　over　Mrs。　March's　sad　state；　and　he　had　grieved　to　hear　that　her
father　was　going　home　because　he　was　not　at　all　well；　before　they　found
the　general　stretched　out　in　his　steamer…chair；　and　waiting　with　a　grim
impatience　for　his　daughter。

〃But　how　is　it　you're　not　in　the　passenger…list？〃　he　inquired　of　them
both；　and　Miss　Triscoe　explained　that　they　had　taken　their　passage　at　the
last　moment；　too　late；　she　supposed；　to　get　into　the　list。　　They　were　in
London；　and　had　run　down　to　Liverpool　on　the　chance　of　getting　berths。
Beyond　this　she　was　not　definite；　and　there　was　an　absence　of　Burnamy　not
only　from　her　company　but　from　her　conversation　which　mystified　March
through　all　his　selfish　preoccupations　with　his　wife。　　She　was　a　girl　who
had　her　reserves；　but　for　a　girl　who　had　so　lately　and　rapturously
written　them　of　her　engagement；　there　was　a　silence　concerning　her
betrothed　that　had　almost　positive　quality。　　W