the professor(教授)-第60节
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“Wm。 Crimsworth； Esq。； No —； — St。； Brussels。”
I was puzzled； but concluding that the best way to obtain
information was to ask within； I cut the cords and opened the case。
Green baize enveloped its contents； sewn carefully at the sides； I
ripped the pack…thread with my pen…knife； and still； as the seam
gave way； glimpses of gilding appeared through the widening
interstices。 Boards and baize being at length removed； I lifted
from the case a large picture； in a magnificent frame； leaning it
against a chair； in a position where the light from the window fell
favourably upon it； I stepped back—already I had mounted my
spectacles。 A portrait…painter’s sky （the most sombre and
threatening of welkins）； and distant trees of a conventional depth
of hue； raised in full relief a pale； pensive…looking female face；
shadowed with soft dark hair； almost blending with the equally
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dark clouds； large； solemn eyes looked reflectively into mine； a
thin cheek rested on a delicate little hand； a shawl； artistically
draped； half hid； half showed a slight figure。 A listener （had there
been one） might have heard me； after ten minutes’ silent gazing；
utter the word “Mother！” I might have said more—but with me；
the first word uttered aloud in soliloquy rouses consciousness； it
reminds me that only crazy people talk to themselves； and then I
think out my monologue； instead of speaking it。 I had thought a
long while； and a long while had contemplated the intelligence； the
sweetness； and—alas！ the sadness also of those fine； grey eyes； the
mental power of that forehead； and the rare sensibility of that
serious mouth； when my glance； travelling downwards； fell on a
narrow billet； stuck in the corner of the picture； between the frame
and the canvas。 Then I first asked； “Who sent this picture？ Who
thought of me； saved it out of the wreck of Crimsworth Hall； and
now commits it to the care of its natural keeper？” I took the note
from its niche； thus it spoke：—
“There is a sort of stupid pleasure in giving a child sweets； a fool
his bells； a dog a bone。 You are repaid by seeing the child besmear
his face with sugar； by witnessing how the fool’s ecstasy makes a
greater fool of him than ever； by watching the dog’s nature come
out over his bone。 In giving William Crimsworth his mother’s
picture； I give him sweets； bells； and bone all in one； what grieves
me is； that I cannot behold the result； I would have added five
shillings more to my bid if the； auctioneer could only have
promised me that pleasure。
“H。 Y。 H。
“P。S。—You said last night you positively declined adding another
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item to your account with me； don’t you think I’ve saved you that
trouble？”
I muffled the picture in its green baize covering； restored it to the
case； and having transported the whole concern to my bed…room；
put it out of sight under my bed。 My pleasure was now poisoned
by pungent pain； I determined to look no more till I could look at
my ease。 If Hunsden had come in at that moment； I should have
said to him； “I owe you nothing； Hunsden—not a fraction of a
farthing： you have paid yourself in taunts！”
Too anxious to remain any longer quiescent； I had no sooner
breakfasted； than I repaired once more to M。 Vandenhuten’s；
scarcely hoping to find him at home； for a week had barely elapsed
since my first call： but fancying I might be able to glean
information as to the time when his return was expected。 A better
result awaited me than I had anticipated； for though the family
were yet at Ostend； M。 Vandenhuten had come over to Brussels on
business for the day。 He received me with the quiet kindness of a
sincere though not excitable man。 I had not sat five minutes alone
with him in his bureau； before I became aware of a sense of ease in
his presence； such as I rarely experienced with strangers。 I was
surprised at my own composure； for； after all； I had come on
business to me exceedingly painful—that of soliciting a favour。 I
asked on what basis the calm rested—I feared it might be
deceptive。 Ere long I caught a glimpse of the ground； and at once I
felt assured of its solidity； I knew where it was。
M。 Vandenhuten was rich； respected； and influential； I； poor；
despised and powerless； so we stood to the world at large as
members of the world’s society； but to each other； as a pair of
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human beings； our positions were reversed。 The Dutchman （he
was not Flamand； but pure Hollandais） was slow； cool； of rather
dense intelligence； though sound and accurate judgment； the
Englishman far more nervous； active； quicker both to plan and to
practise； to conceive and to realize。 The Dutchman was
benevolent； the Englishman susceptible； in short our characters
dovetailed； but my mind having more fire and action than his；
instinctively assumed and kept the predominance。
This point settled； and my position well ascertained； I
addressed him on the subject of my affairs with that genuine
frankness which full confidence can alone inspire。 It was a
pleasure to him to be so appealed to； he thanked me for giving him
this opportunity of using a little exertion in my behalf。 I went on to
explain to him that my wish was not so much to be helped； as to be
put into the way of helping myself； of him I did not want
exertion—that was to be my part—but only information and
recommendation。 Soon after I rose to go。 He held out his hand at
parting—an action of greater significance with foreigners than
with Englishmen。 As I exchanged a smile with him； I thought the
benevolence of his truthful face was better than the intelligence of
my own。 Characters of my order experience a balm…like solace in
the contact of such souls as animated the honest breast of Victor
Vandenhuten。
The next fortnight was a period of many alternations； my
existence during its lapse resembled a sky of one of those
autumnal nights which are specially haunted by meteors and
falling stars。 Hopes and fears； expectations and disappointments；
descended in glancing showers from zenith to horizon； but all
were transient； and darkness followed swift each vanishing
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apparition。 M。 Vandenhuten aided me faithfully； he set me on the
track of several places； and himself made efforts to secure them
for me； but for a long time solicitation and recommendation were
vain—the door either shut in my face when I was about to walk in；
or another candidate； entering before me； rendered my further
advance useless。 Feverish and roused； no disappointment arrested
me； defeat following fast on defeat served as stimulants to will。 I
forgot fastidiousness； conquered reserve； thrust pride from me： I
asked； I persevered； I remonstrated； I dunned。 It is so that
openings are forced into the guarded circle where Fortune sits
