the professor(教授)-第59节
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plain texture of truth under the embroidery of appearance； nor
could he； keen…sighted as he was； penetrate into my heart； search
my brain； and read my peculiar sympathies and antipathies； he
had not known me long enough； or well enough； to perceive how
low my feelings would ebb under some influences； powerful over
most minds； how high； how fast they would flow under other
influences； that perhaps acted with the more intense force on me；
because they acted on me alone。 Neither could he suspect for an
instant the history of my communications with Mdlle Reuter；
secret to him and to all others was the tale of her strange
infatuation； her blandishments； her wiles had been seen but by
me； and to me only were they known； but they had changed me；
for they had proved that I could impress。 A sweeter secret nestled
deeper in my heart； one full of tenderness and as full of strength： it
took the sting out of Hunsden’s sarcasm； it kept me unbent by
shame； and unstirred by wrath。 But of all this I could say
nothing—nothing decisive at least； uncertainty sealed my lips； and
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during the interval of silence by which alone I replied to Mr。
Hunsden； I made up my mind to be for the present wholly
misjudged by him； and misjudged I was； he thought he had been
rather too hard upon me； and that I was crushed by the weight of
his upbraidings； so to reassure me he said； doubtless I should
mend some day； I was only at the beginning of life yet； and since
happily I was not quite without sense； every false step I made
would be a good lesson。
Just then I turned my face a little to the light； the approach of
twilight； and my position in the window…seat； had； for the last ten
minutes； prevented him from studying my countenance； as I
moved； however； he caught an expression which he thus
interpreted：—
“Confound it！ How doggedly self…approving the lad looks！ I
thought he was fit to die with shame； and there he sits grinning
smiles； as good as to say； ‘Let the world wag as it will； I’ve the
philosopher’s stone in my waist…coat pocket； and the elixir of life in
my cupboard； I’m independent of both Fate and Fortune。’”
“Hunsden—you spoke of grapes； I was thinking of a fruit I like
better than your X— hot…house grapes—an unique fruit； growing
wild； which I have marked as my own； and hope one day to gather
and taste。 It is of no use your offering me the draught of bitterness；
or threatening me with death by thirst： I have the anticipation of
sweetness on my palate； the hope of freshness on my lips； I can
reject the unsavoury； and endure the exhausting。”
“For how long？”
“Till the next opportunity for effort； and as the prize of success
will be a treasure after my own heart； I’ll bring a bull’s strength to
the struggle。”
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“Bad luck crushes bulls as easily as bullaces； and； I believe； the
fury dogs you： you were born with a wooden spoon in your mouth；
depend on it。”
“I believe you； sad I mean to make my wooden spoon do the
work of some people’s silver ladles： grasped firmly； and handled
nimbly； even a wooden spoon will shovel up broth。”
Hunsden rose： “I see；” said he； “I suppose you’re one of those
who develop best unwatched； and act best unaided…work your own
way。 Now； I’ll go。” And； without another word； he was going； at the
door he turned：—
“Crimsworth Hall is sold；” said he。
“Sold！” was my echo。
“Yes； you know； of course； that your brother failed three
months ago？”
“What！ Edward Crimsworth？”
“Precisely； and his wife went home to her fathers； when affairs
went awry； his temper sympathized with them； he used her ill； I
told you he would be a tyrant to her some day； as to him—”
“Ay； as to him—what is become of him？”
“Nothing extraordinary—don’t be alarmed； he put himself
under the protection of the court； compounded with his creditors
—tenpence in the pound； in six weeks set up again； coaxed back
his wife； and is flourishing like a green bay…tree。”
“And Crimsworth Hall—was the furniture sold too？”
“Everything—from the grand piano down to the rolling…pin。”
“And the contents of the oak dining…room—were they sold？”
“Of course； why should the sofas and chairs of that room be
held more sacred than those of any other？”
“And the pictures？”
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“What pictures？ Crimsworth had no special collection that I
know of—he did not profess to be an amateur。”
“There were two portraits； one on each side the mantelpiece；
you cannot have forgotten them； Mr。 Hunsden； you once noticed
that of the lady—”
“Oh； I know！ the thin…faced gentlewoman with a shawl put on
like drapery。—Why； as a matter of course； it would be sold among
the other things。 If you had been rich； you might have bought it；
for I remember you said it represented your mother： you see what
it is to be without a sou。”
I did。 “But surely；” I thought to myself； “I shall not always be so
poverty…stricken； I may one day buy it back yet。—Who purchased
it？ do you know？” I asked。
“How is it likely？ I never inquired who purchased anything；
there spoke the unpractical man—to imagine all the world is
interested in what interests himself！ Now； good night—I’m off for
Germany to…morrow morning； I shall be back here in six weeks；
and possibly I may call and see you again； I wonder whether you’ll
be still out of place！” he laughed； as mockingly； as heartlessly as
Mephistopheles； and so laughing； vanished。
Some people； however indifferent they may become after a
considerable space of absence； always contrive to leave a pleasant
impression just at parting； not so Hunsden； a conference with him
affected one like a draught of Peruvian bark； it seemed a
concentration of the specially harsh； stringent； bitter； whether；
like bark； it invigorated； I scarcely knew。
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow； I slept little on the night
after this interview； towards morning I began to doze； but hardly
had my slumber become sleep； when I was roused from it by
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hearing a noise in my sitting room； to which my bed…room
adjoined—a step； and a shoving of furniture； the movement lasted
barely two minutes； with the closing of the door it ceased。 I
listened； not a mouse stirred； perhaps I had dreamt it； perhaps a
locataire had made a mistake； and entered my apartment instead
of his own。 It was yet but five o’clock； neither I nor the day were
wide awake； I turned； and was soon unconscious。 When I did rise；
about two hours later； I had forgotten the circumstance； the first
thing I saw； however； on quitting my chamber； recalled it； just
pushed in at the door of my sitting…room； and still standing on end；
was a wooden packing…case—a rough deal affair； wide but shallow；
a porter had doubtless shoved it forward； but seeing no occupant
of the room； had left it at the entrance。
“That is none of mine；” thought I； approaching； “it must be
meant for somebody else。” I stooped to examine the address：—
“Wm。 Crimsworth； Esq。； No —； — St。； Brussels。”
I was puzzled； but concluding that the best way to obtain
inf
