the monk(僧侣)-第13节

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remembered　the　many　happy　hours　which　He　had　passed　in　Rosario's
society；　and　dreaded　that　void　in　his　heart　which　parting　with
him　would　occasion。　　Besides　all　this；　He　considered；　that　as
Matilda　was　wealthy；　her　favour　might　be　of　essential　benefit　to
the　Abbey。

'And　what　do　I　risque；'　said　He　to　himself；　'by　authorizing　her
stay？　　May　I　not　safely　credit　her　assertions？　　Will　it　not　be
easy　for　me　to　forget　her　sex；　and　still　consider　her　as　my
Friend　and　my　disciple？　　Surely　her　love　is　as　pure　as　She
describes。　　Had　it　been　the　offspring　of　mere　licentiousness；
would　She　so　long　have　concealed　it　in　her　own　bosom？　　Would　She
not　have　employed　some　means　to　procure　its　gratification？　　She
has　done　quite　the　contrary：　　She　strove　to　keep　me　in　ignorance
of　her　sex；　and　nothing　but　the　fear　of　detection；　and　my
instances；　would　have　compelled　her　to　reveal　the　secret。　　She
has　observed　the　duties　of　religion　not　less　strictly　than
myself。　　She　has　made　no　attempts　to　rouze　my　slumbering
passions；　nor　has　She　ever　conversed　with　me　till　this　night　on
the　subject　of　Love。　　Had　She　been　desirous　to　gain　my
affections；　not　my　esteem；　She　would　not　have　concealed　from　me
her　charms　so　carefully：　　At　this　very　moment　I　have　never　seen
her　face：　　Yet　certainly　that　face　must　be　lovely；　and　her　person
beautiful；　to　judge　by　her　。　。　。　by　what　I　have　seen。'

As　this　last　idea　passed　through　his　imagination；　a　blush　spread
itself　over　his　cheek。　　Alarmed　at　the　sentiments　which　He　was
indulging；　He　betook　himself　to　prayer；　He　started　from　his
Couch；　knelt　before　the　beautiful　Madona；　and　entreated　her
assistance　in　stifling　such　culpable　emotions。　　He　then　returned
to　his　Bed；　and　resigned　himself　to　slumber。

He　awoke；　heated　and　unrefreshed。　　During　his　sleep　his　inflamed
imagination　had　presented　him　with　none　but　the　most　voluptuous
objects。　　Matilda　stood　before　him　in　his　dreams；　and　his　eyes
again　dwelt　upon　her　naked　breast。　　She　repeated　her
protestations　of　eternal　love；　threw　her　arms　round　his　neck；　and
loaded　him　with　kisses：　　He　returned　them；　He　clasped　her
passionately　to　his　bosom；　and　。　。　。　the　vision　was　dissolved。
Sometimes　his　dreams　presented　the　image　of　his　favourite　Madona；
and　He　fancied　that　He　was　kneeling　before　her：　　As　He　offered　up
his　vows　to　her；　the　eyes　of　the　Figure　seemed　to　beam　on　him
with　inexpressible　sweetness。　　He　pressed　his　lips　to　hers；　and
found　them　warm：　　The　animated　form　started　from　the　Canvas；
embraced　him　affectionately；　and　his　senses　were　unable　to
support　delight　so　exquisite。　　Such　were　the　scenes；　on　which　his
thoughts　were　employed　while　sleeping：　　His　unsatisfied　Desires
placed　before　him　the　most　lustful　and　provoking　Images；　and　he
rioted　in　joys　till　then　unknown　to　him。

He　started　from　his　Couch；　filled　with　confusion　at　the
remembrance　of　his　dreams。　　Scarcely　was　He　less　ashamed；　when　He
reflected　on　his　reasons　of　the　former　night　which　induced　him
to　authorize　Matilda's　stay。　The　cloud　was　now　dissipated　which
had　obscured　his　judgment：　　He　shuddered　when　He　beheld　his
arguments　blazoned　in　their　proper　colours；　and　found　that　He　had
been　a　slave　to　flattery；　to　avarice；　and　self…love。　　If　in　one
hour's　conversation　Matilda　had　produced　a　change　so　remarkable
in　his　sentiments；　what　had　He　not　to　dread　from　her　remaining　in
the　Abbey？　　Become　sensible　of　his　danger；　awakened　from　his
dream　of　confidence；　He　resolved　to　insist　on　her　departing
without　delay。　　He　began　to　feel　that　He　was　not　proof　against
temptation；　and　that　however　Matilda　might　restrain　herself
within　the　bounds　of　modesty；　He　was　unable　to　contend　with　those
passions；　from　which　He　falsely　thought　himself　exempted。

'Agnes！　　Agnes！'　He　exclaimed；　while　reflecting　on　his
embarrassments；　'I　already　feel　thy　curse！'

He　quitted　his　Cell；　determined　upon　dismissing　the　feigned
Rosario。　　He　appeared　at　Matins；　But　his　thoughts　were　absent；
and　He　paid　them　but　little　attention。　　His　heart　and　brain　were
both　of　them　filled　with　worldly　objects；　and　He　prayed　without
devotion。　The　service　over；　He　descended　into　the　Garden。　　He
bent　his　steps　towards　the　same　spot　where；　on　the　preceding
night；　He　had　made　this　embarrassing　discovery。　　He　doubted　not
but　that　Matilda　would　seek　him　there：　　He　was　not　deceived。　　She
soon　entered　the　Hermitage；　and　approached　the　Monk　with　a　timid
air。　　After　a　few　minutes　during　which　both　were　silent；　She
appeared　as　if　on　the　point　of　speaking；　But　the　Abbot；　who
during　this　time　had　been　summoning　up　all　his　resolution；
hastily　interrupted　her。　　Though　still　unconscious　how　extensive
was　its　influence；　He　dreaded　the　melodious　seduction　of　her
voice。

'Seat　yourself　by　my　side；　Matilda；'　said　He；　assuming　a　look　of
firmness；　though　carefully　avoiding　the　least　mixture　of
severity；　'Listen　to　me　patiently；　and　believe；　that　in　what　I
shall　say；　I　am　not　more　influenced　by　my　own　interest　than　by
yours：　　Believe；　that　I　feel　for　you　the　warmest　friendship；　the
truest　compassion；　and　that　you　cannot　feel　more　grieved　than　I
do；　when　I　declare　to　you　that　we　must　never　meet　again。'

'Ambrosio！'　She　cried；　in　a　voice　at　once　expressive　of　surprise
and　sorrow。

'Be　calm；　my　Friend！　　My　Rosario！　　Still　let　me　call　you　by　that
name　so　dear　to　me！　　Our　separation　is　unavoidable；　I　blush　to
own；　how　sensibly　it　affects　me。　But　yet　it　must　be　so。　　I　feel
myself　incapable　of　treating　you　with　indifference；　and　that　very
conviction　obliges　me　to　insist　upon　your　departure。　　Matilda；
you　must　stay　here　no　longer。'

'Oh！　where　shall　I　now　seek　for　probity？　　Disgusted　with　a
perfidious　world；　in　what　happy　region　does　Truth　conceal
herself？　　Father；　I　hoped　that　She　resided　here；　I　thought　that
your　bosom　had　been　her　favourite　shrine。　　And　you　too　prove
false？　　Oh　God！　　And　you　too　can　betray　me？'

'Matilda！'

'Yes；　Father；　Yes！　'Tis　with　justice　that　I　reproach　you。　　Oh！
where　are　your　promises？　　My　Noviciate　is　not　expired；　and　yet
will　you　compell　me　to　quit　the　Monastery？　　Can　you　have　the
heart　to　drive　me　from　you？　　And　have　I　not　received　your　solemn
oath　to　the　contrary？'

'I　will　not　compell　you　to　quit　the　Monastery：　　You　have　received
my　solemn　oath　to　the　contrary。　　But　yet　when　I　throw　myself　upon
your　generosity；　when　I　declare　to　you　the　embarrassments　in
which　your　presence　involves　me；　will　you　not　release　me　from
that　oath？　　Reflect　upon　the　danger　of　a　discovery；　upon　the
opprobrium　in　which　such　an　event　would　plunge　me：　Reflect　that
my　honour　and　reputation　are　at　stake；　and　that　my　peace　of　mind
depends　on　your　compliance。　　As　yet　my　heart　is　free；　I　shall
separate　from　you　with　regret；　but　not　with　despair。　　Stay　here；
and　a　few　weeks　will　sacrifice　my　happiness　on　the　altar　of　your
charms。　　You　are　but　too　interesting；　too　amiable！　　I　should　love
you；　I　should　doat　on　you！　　My　bosom　would　become　the　prey　of
desires　which　Honour　and　my　profession　forbid　me　to　gratify。　　If
I　resisted　them；　the　impetuosity　of　my　wishes　unsatisfied　would
drive　me　to　madness：　　If　I　yielded　to　the　temptation；　I　should
sacrifice　to　one　moment　of　guilty　pleasure　my　reputation　in　this
world；　my　salvation　in　the　next。　　To　you　then　I　fly　for　defence
against　myself。　　Preserve　me　from　losing　the　reward　of　thirty
years　of　sufferings！　　Preserve　me　from　becoming　the　Victim　of
Remorse！　　YOUR　heart　has　already　felt　the　anguish　of　hopeless
love；　Oh！　then　if　you　really　value　me；　spare　mine　that　anguish！　
Give　me　back　my　promise；　Fly　from　these　walls。　　Go；　and　you　bear
with　you　my　warmest　prayers　for　your　happiness；　my　friendship；　my
esteem　and　admiration：　　Stay；　and　you　become　to　me　the　source　of
danger；　of　sufferings；　of　despair！　　Answer　me；　Matilda；　What　is
your　resolve？'She　was　silent'Will　you　not　speak；　Matilda？　
Will　you　not　name　your　choice？'

'Cruel！　Cruel！'　She　exclaimed；　wringing　her　hands　in　agony；　'You
know　too　well　that　you　offer　me　no　choice！　You　know　too　well　that
I　can　have　no　will　but　yours！'

'I　was　not　then　deceived！　　Matilda's　generosity　equals　my
expectations。'

'Yes；　I　will　prove　the　truth　of　my　affection　by　submitting　to　a
decree　which　cuts　me　to　the　very　heart。　　Take　back　your　promise。　
I　will　quit　the　Monastery　this　very　day。　　I　have　a　Relation；
Abbess　of　a　Covent　in　Estramadura：　　To　her　will　I　bend　my　steps；
and　shut　myself　from　the　world　for　ever。　　Yet　tell　me；　Father；
Shall　I　bear　your　good　wishes　with　me　to　my　solitude？　　Will　you
sometimes　abstract　your　attention　from　heavenly　objects　to　bestow
a　thought　upon　me？'

'Ah！　Matilda；　I　fear　that　I　shall　think　on　you　but　too　often　for
my　repose！'

'Then　I　have　nothing　more　to　wish　for；　save　that　we　may　meet　in
heaven。　　Farewell；　my　Friend！　my　Ambrosio！　And　yet　methinks；　I
would　fain　bear　with　me　some　token　of　your　regard！'

'What　shall　I　give　you？'

'Something。Any　thing。One　of　those　flowers　will　be
sufficient。'　（Here　She　pointed　to　a　bush　of　Roses；　planted　at　the
door　of　the　Grotto。）　　'I　will　hide　it　in　my　bosom；　and　when　I　am
dead；　the　Nuns　shall　find　it　withered　upon　my　heart。'

The　Friar　was　unable　to　reply：　　With　slow　steps；　and　a　soul　heavy
with　afflicti