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第112节

[科幻]宿主-第112节

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fighting back; however we can。 We don’t mean to cause anyone pain。 We’re makin’ this up as we go。 
But wewill keep fighting。”

 We looked at each other。

 “Then maybe youshould have Doc slice me up。 What else am I good for?”

 “Now; now。 Don’t be silly; Wanda。 We humans aren’t so logical as all that。 We have a greater range of 
good and bad in us than you do。 Well; maybe mostly the bad。”

 I nodded at that; but he kept going; ignoring me。

 “We value the individual。 We probably puttoo much emphasis on the individual; if it es right down to 
it。 How many people; in the abstract; would… let’s say Paige… how many people would she sacrifice to 
keep Andy alive? The answer wouldn’t make any sense if you were looking at the whole of humanity as 
equals。

 “The way you are valued here… Well; that don’t make much sense when you look at it from humanity’s 

 

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t 
myself in that group。 I count you as a friend; Wanda。 Course; that’s not gonna work well if you hate me。” 
“I don’t hate you; Jeb。 But…”


 “Yeah?” 
“I just don’t see how I can live here anymore。 Not if you’re going to be slaughtering my family in the 
other room。 And I can’t leave; obviously。 So you see what I mean? What else is there for me but Doc’s 
pointless cutting?” I shuddered。


 He nodded seriously。 “Now; that’s a real valid point。 It’s not fair to ask you to live with that。” 
My stomach dropped。 “If I get a choice; I’d rather you shot me; actually;” I whispered。 
Jeb laughed。 “Slow down there; honey。 Nobody’s shooting my friends; or hackin’ ’em up。 I know 


you’re not lying; Wanda。 If you say doing it our way isn’t going to work; then we’re going to have to 
rethink things。 I’ll tell the boys they’re not to bring any more souls back for now。 Besides; I think Doc’s 
nerves are toast。 He can’t take much more of this。”

 “You could be lying to me;” I reminded him。 “I probably couldn’t tell。” 
“You’ll have to trust me; then。 Because I’m not going to shoot you。 And I’m not going to let you starve 
yourself; either。 Eat something; kid。 That’s an order。” 
I took a deep breath; trying to think。 I wasn’t sure if we’d e to an acmodation or not。 Nothing 
made sense in this body。 I liked the people here too much。 They were friends。 Monstrous friends that I 
couldn’t see in the proper light while sunk in emotion。

 Jeb picked up a thick square of cornbread soaked through with stolen honey and shoved it into my 
hand。 
It made a mess there; crumbling into gluey morsels that stuck to my fingers。 I sighed again and started 

cleaning them off with my tongue。

 “That’s a girl! We’ll get over this rough spot。 Things are gonna work out here; you’ll see。 Try to think 
positive。” 
“Think positive;” I mumbled around a mouthful of food; shaking my head with disbelief。 Only Jeb… 
Ian came back then。 When he walked into our circle of light and saw the food in my hand; the look that 

spread across his face filled me with guilt。 It was a look of joyous relief。 
No; I had never intentionally caused anyone physical pain; but I had hurt Ian deeply enough just by 
hurting myself。 Human lives were so impossibly tangled。 What a mess。

 “Here you are; Jeb;” he said in a subdued voice as he sat down across from us; just slightly closer to 
Jeb。 “Jared guessed you might be here。” 
I dragged myself half a foot toward him; my arms aching from being motionless so long; and put my hand 

on his。 

 

 He turned his hand up to hold mine。 “Don’t apologize to me。”

 “I should have known。 Jeb’s right。 Of course you fight back。 How can I blame you for that?”

 “It’s different with you here。 It should have stopped。”

 But my being here had only made it that much more important to solve the problem。 How to rip me out 

and keep Melanie here。 How to erase me to bring her back。

 “All’s fair in war;” I murmured; trying to smile。

 He grinned weakly back。 “And love。 You forgot that part。”

 “Okay; break it up;” Jeb mumbled。 “I’m not done here。”

 I looked at him curiously。 What more was there?

 “Now。” He took a deep breath。 “Try not to freak out again; okay?” he asked; looking at me。

 I froze; gripping Ian’s hand tighter。

 Ian threw an anxious glance at Jeb。

 “You’re going to tell her?” Ian asked。

 “What now?” I gasped。 “What is itnow? ”

 Jeb had his poker face on。 “It’s Jamie。”

 Those two words turned the world upside down again。

 For three long days; I’d been Wanderer; a soul among humans。 I was suddenly Wanda again; a very 

confused soul with human emotions that were too powerful to control。

 I jumped to my feet—yanking Ian up with me; my hand locked on his like a vise—and then swayed; my 
head spinning。

 “Sheesh。 I said don’t freak out; Wanda。 Jamie’s okay。 He’s just really anxious about you。 He heard 
what happened; and he’s been asking for you—worried out of his mind; that kid is—and I don’t think 

it’s good for him。 I came down here to ask you to go see him。 But you can’t go like this。 You look 
horrible。 It will just upset him for no good reason。 Sit down and eat some more food。”

 “His leg?” I demanded。

 “There’s a little infection;” Ian murmured。 “Doc wants him to stay down or he’d have e to get you a 

long time ago。 If Jared wasn’t practically pinning him to the bed; he would have e anyway。” 
Jeb nodded。 “Jared almost came here and carried you out by force; but I told him to let me speak to 

 

 My blood felt as though it had changed into ice water。 Surely just my imagination。

 “What’s being done?”

 Jeb shrugged。 “Nothin’to do。 Kid’s strong; he’ll fight it off。”

 “Nothing to do? What do you mean?”

 “It’s a bacterial infection;” Ian said。 “We don’t have antibiotics anymore。”

 “Because they don’t work—the bacteria are smarter than your medicines。 There has to be something 

better; something else。”

 “Well; we don’t have anything else;” Jeb said。 “He’s a healthy kid。 It just has to run its course。”

 “Run… its… course。” I murmured the words in a daze。

 “Eat something;” Ian urged。 “You’ll worry him if he sees you like this。”

 I rubbed my eyes; trying to think straight。

 Jamie was sick。 There was nothing to treat him with here。 No options but waiting to see if his body could 

heal itself。 And if it couldn’t…

 “No;” I gasped。

 I felt as if I were standing on the edge of Walter’s grave again; listening to the sound of sand falling into 

the darkness。

 “No;” I moaned; fighting against the memory。

 I turned mechanically and started walking with stiff strides toward the exit。

 “Wait;” Ian said; but he didn’t pull against the hand he still held。 He kept pace with me。

 Jeb caught up to me on the other side and shoved more food into my free hand。

 “Eat for the kid’s sake;” he said。

 I bit into it without tasting; chewed without thinking; swallowed without feeling the food go down。

 “Knew she was gonna overreact;” Jeb grumbled。

 “So why did you tell her?” Ian asked; frustrated。

 Jeb didn’t answer。 I wondered why he didn’t。 Was this worse even than I imagined?

 “Is he in the hospital?” I asked in an emotionless; inflectionless voice。 

 

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” 
I didn’t even feel relief。 Too numb for that。 
I would have gone into that room again for Jamie; even if it was still reeking of blood。 
I didn’t see the familiar caves I walked through。 I barely noticed that it was day。 I couldn’t meet the eyes 


of any of the humans who stopped to stare at me。 I could only put one foot in front of the other until I 


finally reached the hallway。 
There were a few people clustered in front of the seventh cave。 The silk screen was pushed far aside; 
and they craned their necks to see into Jared’s room。 They were all familiar; people I’d considered 
friends。 Jamie’s friends; too。 Why were they here? Was his condition so unstable that they needed to 
check on him often?

 “Wanda;” someone said。 Heidi。 “Wanda’s here。” 
“Let her through;” Wes said。 He slapped Jeb on the back。 “Good job。” 
I walked through the little group without looking at them。 They parted for me; I might have walked right 


into them if they hadn’t。 I couldn’t concentrate on anything but moving myself forward。 
It was bright in the high…ceilinged room。 The room itself was not crowded。 Doc or Jared had kept 
everyone out。 I was vaguely aware of Jared; leaning against the far wall with his hands clasped behind 


him—a posture he assumed only when he was really worried。 Doc knelt beside the big bed where Jamie 
lay; just where I had left him。 
Why had I left him? 
Jamie’s face was red and sweaty。 The right leg of his jeans had been cut away; and the bandage was 


peeled back from his wound。 It wasn’t as big as I’d expected。 Not as horrible as I would have imagined。 
Just a two…inch gash with smooth edges。 But the edges were a frightening shade of red; and the skin 
around the cut was swollen and shiny。

 “W

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