白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第4节

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white　packages　with　simple　labeling。　There　was　a　white　can　labeled　CANNED　PEACHES。　There　was　a　white　package　of　bacon　without　a　plastic　window　for　viewing　a　representative　slice。　A　jar　of　roasted　nuts　had　a　white　wrapper　bearing　the　words　IRREGULAR　PEANUTS。　Murray　kept　nodding　to　Babette　as　I　introduced　them。
　　'This　is　the　new　austerity；〃　he　said。　〃Flavorless　packaging。　It　appeals　to　me。　I　feel　I'm　not　only　saving　money　but　contributing　to　some　kind　of　spiritual　consensus。　It's　like　World　War　HI。　Everything　is　white。　They'll　take　our　bright　colors　away　and　use　them　in　the　war　effort。〃
　　He　was　staring　into　Babette's　eyes；　picking　up　items　from　our　cart　and　smelling　them。
　　〃I've　bought　these　peanuts　before。　They're　round；　cubical；　pockmarked；　seamed。　Broken　peanuts。　A　lot　of　dust　at　the　bottom　of　the　jar。　But　they　taste　good。　Most　of　all　I　like　the　packages　themselves。　You　were　right；　Jack。　This　is　the　last　avant…garde。　Bold　new　forms。　The　power　to　shock。〃
　　A　woman　fell　into　a　rack　of　paperback　books　at　the　front　of　the　store。　A　heavyset　man　emerged　from　the　raised　cubicle　in　the　far　corner　and　moved　warily　toward　her；　head　tilted　to　get　a　clearer　sightline。　A　checkout　girl　said；　〃Leon；　parsley；〃　and　he　answered　as　he　approached　the　fallen　woman；　〃Seventy…nine。〃　His　breast　pocket　was　crammed　with　felt…tip　pens。
　　〃So　then　you　cook　at　the　rooming　house；〃　Babette　said。
　　〃My　room　is　zoned　for　a　hot　plate。　I'm　happy　there。　I　read　the　TV　listings；　I　read　the　ads　in　Ufologist　Today。　I　want　to　immerse　myself　in　American　magic　and　dread。　My　seminar　is　going　well。　The　students　are　bright　and　responsive。　They　ask　questions　and　I　answer　them。　They　jot　down　notes　as　I　speak。　It's　quite　a　surprise　in　my　life。〃
　　He　picked　up　our　bottle　of　extra…strength　pain　reliever　and　sniffed　along　the　rim　of　the　child…proof　cap。　He　smelled　our　honeydew　melons；　our　bottles　of　club　soda　and　ginger　ale。　Babette　went　down　the　frozen　food　aisle；　an　area　my　doctor　had　advised　me　to　stay　out　of。
　　〃Your　wife's　hair　is　a　living　wonder；〃　Murray　said；　looking　closely　into　my　face　as　if　to　municate　a　deepening　respect　for　me　based　on　this　new　information。
　　〃Yes；　it　is；〃　I　said。
　　〃She　has　important　hair。〃
　　〃I　think　I　know　what　you　mean。〃
　　〃I　hope　you　appreciate　that　woman。〃
　　〃Absolutely。〃
　　〃Because　a　woman　like　that　doesn't　just　happen。〃
　　〃I　know　it。〃
　　〃She　must　be　good　with　children。　More　than　that；　I'll　bet　she's　great　to　have　around　in　a　family　tragedy。　She'd　be　the　type　to　take　control；　show　strength　and　affirmation。〃
　　〃Actually　she　falls　apart。　She　fell　apart　when　her　mother　died。〃
　　〃Who　wouldn't？〃
　　〃She　fell　apart　when　Steffie　called　from　camp　with　a　broken　bone　in　her　hand。　We　had　to　drive　all　night。　I　found　myself　on　a　lumber　pany　road。　Babette　weeping。〃
　　〃Her　daughter；　far　away；　among　strangers；　in　pain。　Who　wouldn't？〃
　　〃Not　her　daughter。　My　daughter。〃
　　〃Not　even　her　own　daughter。〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Extraordinary。　I　have　to　love　it。〃
　　The　three　of　us　left　together；　trying　to　maneuver　our　shopping　carts　between　the　paperback　books　scattered　across　the　entrance。　Murray　wheeled　one　of　our　carts　into　the　parking　lot　and　then　helped　us　heave　and　push　all　our　double…bagged　merchandise　into　the　back　of　the　station　wagon。　Cars　entered　and　exited。　The　policewoman　in　her　zippered　minicab　scouted　the　area　for　red　flags　on　the　parking　meters。　We　added　Murray's　single　lightweight　bag　of　white　items　to　our　load　and　headed　across　Elm　in　the　direction　of　his　rooming　house。　It　seemed　to　me　that　Babette　and　I；　in　the　mass　and　variety　of　our　purchases；　in　the　sheer　plenitude　those　crowded　bags　suggested；　the　weight　and　size　and　number；　the　familiar　package　designs　and　vivid　lettering；　the　giant　sizes；　the　family　bargain　packs　with　Day…Glo　sale　stickers；　in　the　sense　of　replenishment　we　felt；　the　sense　of　well…being；　the　security　and　contentment　these　products　brought　to　some　snug　home　in　our　souls—it　seemed　we　had　achieved　a　fullness　of　being　that　is　not　known　to　people　who　need　less；　expect　less；　who　plan　their　lives　around　lonely　walks　in　the　evening。
　　Murray　took　Babette's　hand　on　leaving。
　　〃I'd　ask　you　to　visit　my　room　but　it's　too　small　for　two　people　unless　they're　prepared　to　be　intimate。〃
　　Murray　is　able　to　produce　a　look　that　is　sneaky　and　frank　at　the　same　time。　It　is　a　look　that　gives　equal　credence　to　disaster　and　lecherous　success。　He　says　that　in　the　old　days　of　his　urban　entanglements　he　believed　there　was　only　one　way　to　seduce　a　woman；　with　clear　and　open　desire。　He　took　pains　to　avoid　self…depreciation；　self…mockery；　ambiguity；　irony；　subtlety；　vulnerability；　a　civilized　world…weariness　and　a　tragic　sense　of　history—　the　very　things；　he　says；　that　are　most　natural　to　him。　Of　these　he　has　allowed　only　one　element；　vulnerability；　to　insert　itself　gradually　into　his　program　of　straightforward　lust。　He　is　trying　to　develop　a　vulnerability　that　women　will　find　attractive。　He　works　at　it　consciously；　like　a　man　in　a　gym　with　weights　and　a　mirror。　But　his　efforts　so　far　have　produced　only　this　half　sneaky　look；　sheepish　and　wheedling。
　　He　thanked　us　for　the　lift。　We　watched　him　walk　toward　the　lopsided　porch；　propped　with　cinder　blocks；　where　a　man　in　a　rocker　stared　into　space。
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　　Heinrich's　hairline　is　beginning　to　recede。　I　wonder　about　this。　Did　his　mother　consume　some　kind　of　gene…piercing　substance　when　she　was　pregnant？　Am　I　at　fault　somehow？　Have　I　raised　him；　unwittingly；　in　the　vicinity　of　a　chemical　dump　site；　in　the　path　of　air　currents　that　carry　industrial　wastes　capable　of　producing　scalp　degeneration；　glorious　sunsets？　（People　say　the　sunsets　around　here　were　not　nearly　so　stunning　thirty　or　forty　years　ago。）　Man's　guilt　in　history　and　in　the　tides　of　his　own　blood　has　been　plicated　by　technology；　the　daily　seeping　falsehearted　death。
　　The　boy　is　fourteen；　often　evasive　and　moody；　at　other　times　disturbingly　pliant。　I　have　a　sense　that　his　ready　yielding　to　our　wishes　and　demands　is　a　private　weapon　of　reproach。　Babette　is　afraid　he　will　end　up　in　a　barricaded　room；　spraying　hundreds　of　rounds　of　automatic　fire　across　an　empty　mall　before　the　SWAT　teams　e　for　him　with　their　heavy…barreled　weapons；　their　bullhorns　and　body　armor。
　　〃It's　going　to　rain　tonight。〃
　　〃It's　raining　now；〃　I　said。
　　〃The　radio　said　tonight。〃
　　I　drove　him　to　school　on　his　first　day　back　after　a　sore　throat　and　fever。　A　woman　in　a　yellow　slicker　held　up　traffic　to　let　some　children　cross。　I　pictured　her　in　a　soup　mercial　taking　off　her　oilskin　hat　as　she　entered　the　cheerful　kitchen　where　her　husband　stood　over　a　pot　of　smoky　lobster　bisque；　a　smallish　man　with　six　weeks　to　live。
　　〃Look　at　the　windshield；〃　I　said。　〃Is　that　rain　or　isn't　it？〃
　　〃I'm　only　telling　you　what　they　said。〃
　　〃Just　because　it's　on　the　radio　doesn't　mean　we　have　to　suspend　belief　in　the　evidence　of　our　senses。〃
　　〃Our　senses？　Our　senses　are　wrong　a　lot　more　often　than　they're　right。　This　has　been　proved　in　the　laboratory。　Don't　you　know　about　all　those　theorems　that　say　nothing　is　what　it　seems？　There's　no　past；　present　or　future　outside　our　own　mind。　The　so…called　laws　of　motion　are　a　big　hoax。　Even　sound　can　trick　the　mind。　Just　because　you　don't　hear　a　sound　doesn't　mean　it's　not　out　there。　Dogs　can　hear　it。　Other　animals。　And　I'm　sure　there　are　sounds　even　dogs　can't　hear。　But　they　exist　in　the　air；　in　waves。　Maybe　they　never　stop。　High；　high；　high…pitched。　ing　from　somewhere。〃
　　〃Is　it　raining；〃　I　said；　〃or　isn't　it？〃
　　〃I　wouldn't　want　to　have　to　say。〃
　　〃What　if　someone　held　a　gun　to　your　head？〃
　　〃Who；　you？〃
　　〃Someone。　A　man　in　a　trenchcoat　and　smoky　glasses。　He　holds　a　gun　to　your　head　and　says；　'Is　it　raining　or　isn't　it？　All　you　have　to　do　is　tell　the　truth　and　I'll　put　away　my　gun　and　take　the　next　flight　out　of　here。'〃
　　〃What　truth　does　he　want？　Does　he　want　the　truth　of　someone　traveling　at　almost　the　speed　of　light　in　another　galaxy？　Does　he　want　the　truth　of　someone　in　orbit　around　a　neutron　star？　Maybe　if　these　people　could　see　us　through　a　telescope　we　might　look　like　we　were　two　feet　two　inches　tall　and　it　might　be　raining　yesterday　instead　of　today。〃
　　〃He's　holding　the　gun　to　your　head。　He　wants　your　truth。〃
　　〃What　good　is　my　truth？　My　truth　means　nothing。　What　if　this　guy　with　the　gun　es　from　a　planet　in　a　whole　different　solar　system？　What　we　call　rain　he　calls　soap。　What　we　call　apples　he　calls　rain。　So　what　am　I　supposed　to　tell　him？〃
　　〃His　name　is　Frank　J。　Smalley　and　he　es　from　St。　Louis。〃
　　〃He　wants　to　know　if　it's　raining　now；　at　this　very　minute？〃
　　〃Here　and　now。　That's　right。〃
　　〃Is　there　such　a　thing　as　now？　'Now'　es　and　goes　as　soon　as　you　say　it。　How　can　I　say　it's　raining　now　if　your　so…called　'now'　bees　'then'　as　soon　as　I　say　it？〃
　　〃You　said　there　was　no　past；　present；　or　future。〃
　　〃Only　in　our　verbs。　That's　the　only　place　we　find　it。〃
　　〃Rain　is　a　noun。　Is　there　rain　here；　in　this　precise　locality；　at　whatever　time　within　the　next　two　minutes　that　you　choose　to　respond　to　the　question？〃
　　〃If　you　want　to　talk　about　this　precise　locality　while　you're　in　a　vehicle　that's　obviousl