白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第27节

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　　〃He　thinks　I　use　you　to　get　him　to　do　what　I　want。〃　〃There　may　be　some　truth　in　that；　Jack。　But　then　what　are　stepparents　for　if　they　can't　be　used　in　little　skirmishes　between　blood　relatives？〃
　　I　moved　still　closer；　lowered　my　voice　even　more。　〃Just　a　Life　Saver；〃　I　said。　〃What？〃
　　〃Just　some　saliva　that　you　didn't　know　what　to　do　with。〃　〃It　was　a　Life　Saver；〃　she　whispered；　making　an　0　with　her　thumb　and　index　finger。
　　〃Give　me　one。〃
　　〃It　was　the　last　one。〃
　　〃What　flavor—　quick。〃
　　〃Cherry。〃
　　I　puckered　my　lips　and　made　little　sucking　sounds。　The　black　man　with　the　tracts　came　over　and　squatted　next　to　me。　We　engaged　in　an　earnest　and　prolonged　handshake。　He　studied　me　openly；　giving　the　impression　that　he　had　traveled　this　rugged　distance；　uprooting　his　family；　not　to　escape　the　chemical　event　but　to　find　the　one　person　who　would　understand　what　he　had　to　say。
　　〃It's　happening　everywhere；　isn't　it？〃
　　〃More　or　less；〃　I　said。
　　〃And　what's　the　government　doing　about　it？〃
　　〃Nothing。〃
　　〃You　said　it；　I　didn't。　There's　only　one　word　in　the　language　to　describe　what's　being　done　and　you　found　it　exactly。　I'm　not　surprised　at　all。　But　when　you　think　about　it；　what　can　they　do？　Because　what　is　ing　is　definitely　ing。　No　government　in　the　world　is　big　enough　to　stop　it。　Does　a　man　like　yourself　know　the　size　of　India's　standing　army？〃
　　〃One　million。〃
　　〃I　didn't　say　it；　you　did。　One　million　soldiers　and　they　can't　stop　it。　Do　you　know　who's　got　the　biggest　standing　army　in　the　world？〃
　　〃It's　either　China　or　Russia；　although　the　Vietnamese　ought　to　be　mentioned。〃
　　'Tell　me　this；〃　he　said。　〃Can　the　Vietnamese　stop　it？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃It's　here；　isn't　it？　People　feel　it。　We　know　in　our　bones。　God's　kingdom　is　ing。〃
　　He　was　a　rangy　man　with　sparse　hair　and　a　gap　between　his　two　front　teeth。　He　squatted　easily；　seemed　loose…jointed　and　fortable。　I　realized　he　was　wearing　a　suit　and　tie　with　running　shoes。
　　〃Are　these　great　days？〃　he　said。
　　I　studied　his　face；　trying　to　find　a　clue　to　the　right　answer。　〃Do　you　feel　it　ing？　Is　it　on　the　way？　Do　you　want　it　to　e？
　　He　bounced　on　his　toes　as　he　spoke。
　　〃Wars；　famines；　earthquakes；　volcanic　eruptions。　It's　all　beginning　to　jell。　In　your　own　words；　is　there　anything　that　can　stop　it　from　ing　once　it　picks　up　momentum？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃You　said　it；　I　didn't。　Floods；　tornados；　epidemics　of　strange　new　diseases。　Is　it　a　sign？　Is　it　the　truth？　Are　you　ready？〃
　　〃Do　people　really　feel　it　in　their　bones？〃　I　said。
　　〃Good　news　travels　fast。〃
　　〃Do　people　talk　about　it？　On　your　door…to…door　visits；　do　you　get　the　impression　they　want　it？〃
　　〃It's　not　do　they　want　it。　It's　where　do　I　go　to　sign　up。　It's　get　me　out　of　here　right　now。　People　ask；　'Is　there　seasonal　change　in　God's　kingdom？'　They　ask；　'Are　there　bridge　tolls　and　returnable　bottles？'　In　other　words　I'm　saying　they're　getting　right　down　to　it。〃
　　〃You　feel　it's　a　ground　swell。〃
　　〃A　sudden　gathering。　Exactly　put。　I　took　one　look　and　I　knew。　This　is　a　man　who　understands。〃
　　〃Earthquakes　are　not　up；　statistically。〃
　　He　gave　me　a　condescending　smile。　I　felt　it　was　richly　deserved；　although　I　wasn't　sure　why。　Maybe　it　was　prissy　to　be　quoting　statistics　in　the　face　of　powerful　beliefs；　fears；　desires。
　　〃How　do　you　plan　to　spend　your　resurrection？〃　he　said；　as　though　asking　about　a　long　weekend　ing　up。
　　〃We　all　get　one？〃
　　〃You're　either　among　the　wicked　or　among　the　saved。　The　wicked　get　to　rot　as　they　walk　down　the　street。　They　get　to　feel　their　own　eyes　slide　out　of　their　sockets。　You'll　know　them　by　their　stickiness　and　lost　parts。　People　tracking　slime　of　their　own　making。　All　the　flashiness　of　Armageddon　is　in　the　rotting。　The　saved　know　each　other　by　their　neatness　and　reserve。　He　doesn't　have　showy　ways　is　how　you　know　a　saved　person。〃
　　He　was　a　serious　man；　he　was　matter…of…fact　and　practical；　down　to　his　running　shoes。　I　wondered　about　his　eerie　self…assurance；　his　freedom　from　doubt。　Is　this　the　point　of　Armageddon？　No　ambiguity；　no　more　doubt。　He　was　ready　to　run　into　the　next　world。　He　was　forcing　the　next　world　to　seep　into　my　consciousness；　stupendous　events　that　seemed　matter…of…fact　to　him；　self…evident；　reasonable；　imminent；　true。　I　did　not　feel　Armageddon　in　my　bones　but　I　worried　about　all　those　people　who　did；　who　were　ready　for　it；　wishing　hard；　making　phone　calls　and　bank　withdrawals。　If　enough　people　want　it　to　happen；　will　it　happen？　How　many　people　are　enough　people？　Why　are　we　talking　to　each　other　from　this　aboriginal　crouch？
　　He　handed　me　a　pamphlet　called　〃Twenty　mon　Mistakes　About　the　End　of　the　World。〃　I　struggled　out　of　the　squatting　posture；　feeling　dizziness　and　back…pain。　At　the　front　of　the　hall　a　woman　was　saying　something　about　exposure　to　toxic　agents。　Her　small　voice　was　almost　lost　in　the　shuffling　roar　of　the　barracks；　the　kind　of　low…level　rumble　that　humans　routinely　make　in　large　enclosed　places。　Denise　had　put　down　her　reference　work　and　was　giving　me　a　hard…eyed　look。　It　was　the　look　she　usually　saved　for　her　father　and　his　latest　loss　of　foothold。
　　〃What's　wrong？〃　I　said　to　her。
　　〃Didn't　you　hear　what　the　voice　said？〃
　　〃Exposure。〃
　　〃That's　right；〃　she　said　sharply。
　　〃What's　that　got　to　do　with　us？〃
　　〃Not　us；〃　she　said。　〃You。〃
　　〃Why　me？〃
　　〃Aren't　you　the　one　who　got　out　of　the　car　to　fill　the　gas　tank？〃
　　〃Where　was　the　airborne　event　when　I　did　that？〃
　　〃Just　ahead　of　us。　Don't　you　remember？　You　got　back　in　the　car　and　we　went　a　little　ways　and　then　there　it　was　in　all　those　lights。〃
　　〃You're　saying　when　I　got　out　of　the　car；　the　cloud　may　have　been　close　enough　to　rain　all　over　me。〃
　　〃It's　not　your　fault；〃　she　said　impatiently；　〃but　you　were　practically　right　in　it　for　about　two　and　a　half　minutes。〃
　　I　made　my　way　up　front。　Two　lines　were　forming。　A　to　M　and　N　to　Z。　At　the　end　of　each　line　was　a　folding　table　with　a　microputer　on　it。　Technicians　milled　about；　men　and　women　with　lapel　badges　and　color…coded　armbands。　I　stood　behind　the　life…jacket…wearing　family。　They　looked　bright；　happy　and　well…drilled。　The　thick　orange　vests　did　not　seem　especially　out　of　place　even　though　we　were　on　more　or　less　dry　land；　well　above　sea　level；　many　miles　from　the　nearest　ominous　body　of　water。　Stark　upheavals　bring　out　every　sort　of　quaint　aberration　by　the　very　suddenness　of　their　ing。　Dashes　of　color　and　idiosyncrasy　marked　the　scene　from　beginning　to　end。
　　The　lines　were　not　long。　When　I　reached　the　A…to…M　desk；　the　man　seated　there　typed　out　data　on　his　keyboard。　My　name；　age；　medical　history；　so　on。　He　was　a　gaunt　young　man　who　seemed　suspicious　of　conversation　that　strayed　outside　certain　unspecified　guidelines。　Over　the　left　sleeve　on　his　khaki　jacket　he　wore　a　green　armband　bearing　the　word　SIMUVAC。
　　I　related　the　circumstances　of　my　presumed　exposure。
　　〃How　long　were　you　out　there？〃
　　'Two　and　a　half　minutes；〃　I　said。　〃Is　that　considered　long　or　short？〃
　　〃Anything　that　puts　you　in　contact　with　actual　emissions　means　we　have　a　situation。〃
　　〃Why　didn't　the　drifting　cloud　disperse　in　all　that　wind　and　rain？〃
　　〃This　is　not　your　everyday　cirrus。　This　is　a　high…definition　event。　It　is　packed　with　dense　concentrations　of　byproduct。　You　could　almost　toss　a　hook　in　there　and　tow　it　out　to　sea；　which　I'm　exaggerating　to　make　a　point。〃
　　〃What　about　people　in　the　car？　I　had　to　open　the　door　to　get　out　and　get　back　in。〃
　　〃There　are　known　degrees　of　exposure。　I'd　say　their　situation　is　they're　minimal　risks。　It's　the　two　and　a　half　minutes　standing　right　in　it　that　makes　me　wince。　Actual　skin　and　orifice　contact。　This　is　Nyodene　D。　A　whole　new　generation　of　toxic　waste。　What　we　call　state　of　the　art。　One　part　per　million　million　can　send　a　rat　into　a　permanent　state。〃
　　He　regarded　me　with　the　grimly　superior　air　of　a　bat　veteran。　Obviously　he　didn't　think　much　of　people　whose　placent　and　overprotected　lives　did　not　allow　for　encounters　with　brain…dead　rats。　I　wanted　this　man　on　my　side。　He　had　access　to　data。　I　was　prepared　to　be　servile　and　fawning　if　it　would　keep　him　from　dropping　casually　shattering　remarks　about　my　degree　of　exposure　and　chances　for　survival。
　　〃That's　quite　an　armband　you've　got　there。　What　does　SIMUVAC　mean？　Sounds　important。〃
　　〃Short　for　simulated　evacuation。　A　new　state　program　they're　still　battling　over　funds　for。〃
　　〃But　this　evacuation　isn't　simulated。　It's　real。〃
　　〃We　know　that。　But　we　thought　we　could　use　it　as　a　model。〃
　　〃A　form　of　practice？　Are　you　saying　you　saw　a　chance　to　use　the　real　event　in　order　to　rehearse　the　simulation？〃
　　〃We　took　it　right　into　the　streets。〃
　　〃How　is　it　going？〃　I　said。
　　'The　insertion　curve　isn't　as　smooth　as　we　would　like。　There's　a　probability　excess。　Plus　which　we　don't　have　our　victims　laid　out　where　we'd　want　them　if　this　was　an　actual　simulation。　In　other　words　we're　forced　to　take　our　victims　as　we　find　them。　We　didn't　get　a　jump　on　puter　traffic。　Suddenly　it　just　spilled　out；　three…dimensionally；　all　over　the　landscape。　You　have　to　make　allowances　for　the　fact　that　everything　we　see　tonight　is　real。　There's　a　lot