the research magnificent-第50节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


s　declaration　that　all　the　vast　stress　and　change　of　Russian　national　life　was　going　on　because　it　was　universally　disregarded。　　〃I　tell　you；　as　I　told　you　before；　that　nobody　is　attending。　　You　think　because　all　Moscow；　all　Russia；　is　in　the　picture；　that　everybody　is　concerned。　Nobody　is　concerned。　　Nobody　cares　what　is　happening。　　Even　the　men　who　write　in　newspapers　and　talk　at　meetings　about　it　don't　care。　They　are　thinking　of　their　dinners；　of　their　clothes；　of　their　money；　of　their　wives。　　They　hurry　home。　。　。　。〃　That　was　his　excuse。　Manifestly　it　was　an　excuse。　His　situation　developed　into　remarkable　complications　of　jealousy　and　divided　counsels　that　Benham　found　altogether　incomprehensible。　To　Benham　in　those　days　everything　was　very　simple　in　this　business　of　love。　　The　aristocrat　had　to　love　ideally；　that　was　all。　　He　had　to　love　Amanda。　　He　and　Amanda　were　now　very　deeply　in　love　again；　more　in　love；　he　felt；　than　they　had　ever　been　before。　　They　were　now　writing　love…letters　to　each　other　and　enjoying　a　separation　that　was　almost　voluptuous。　　She　found　in　the　epistolatory　treatment　of　her　surrender　to　him　and　to　the　natural　fate　of　women；　a　delightful　exercise　for　her　very　considerable　powers　of　expression。　Life　pointed　now　wonderfully　to　the　great　time　ahead　when　there　would　be　a　Cheetah　cub　in　the　world；　and　meanwhile　the　Cheetah　loped　about　the　wild　world　upon　a　mighty　quest。　　In　such　terms　she　put　it。　Such　foolishness　written　in　her　invincibly　square　and　youthful　hand　went　daily　from　London　to　Russia；　and　stacked　up　against　his　return　in　the　porter's　office　at　the　Cosmopolis　Bazaar　or　pursued　him　down　through　the　jarring　disorders　of　south…west　Russia；　or　waited　for　him　at　ill…chosen　post…offices　that　deflected　his　journeyings　wastefully　or　in　several　instances　went　altogether　astray。　　Perhaps　they　supplied　self…educating　young　strikers　in　the　postal　service　with　useful　exercises　in　the　deciphering　of　manuscript　English。　　He　wrote　back　five　hundred　different　ways　of　saying　that　he　loved　her　extravagantly。　。　。　。　It　seemed　to　Benham　in　those　days　that　he　had　found　the　remedy　and　solution　of　all　those　sexual　perplexities　that　distressed　the　world；　Heroic　Love　to　its　highest　noteand　then　you　go　about　your　business。　　It　seemed　impossible　not　to　be　happy　and　lift　one's　chin　high　and　diffuse　a　bracing　kindliness　among　the　unfortunate　multitudes　who　stewed　in　affliction　and　hate　because　they　had　failed　as　yet　to　find　this　simple；　culminating　elucidation。　　And　Prothero　Prothero；　too；　was　now　achieving　the　same　grand　elementariness；　out　of　his　lusts　and　protests　and　general　physical　squalor　he　had　flowered　into　love。　　For　a　time　it　is　true　it　made　rather　an　ineffective　companion　of　him；　but　this　was　the　mere　goose…stepping　for　the　triumphal　march；　this　way　ultimately　lay　exaltation。　　Benham　had　had　as　yet　but　a　passing　glimpse　of　this　Anglo…Russian；　who　was　a　lady　and　altogether　unlike　her　fellows；　he　had　seen　her　for　a　doubtful　second　or　so　as　she　and　Prothero　drove　past　him；　and　his　impression　was　of　a　rather　little　creature；　white…faced　with　dusky　hair　under　a　red　cap；　paler　and　smaller　but　with　something　in　her；　a　quiet　alertness；　that　gave　her　a　touch　of　kinship　with　Amanda。　　And　if　she　liked　old　Prothero　　And；　indeed；　she　must　like　old　Prothero　or　could　she　possibly　have　made　him　so　deeply　in　love　with　her？　They　must　stick　to　each　other；　and　then；　presently；　Prothero's　soul　would　wake　up　and　face　the　world　again。　　What　did　it　matter　what　she　had　been？　Through　stray　shots　and　red　conflict；　long　tediums　of　strained　anxiety　and　the　physical　dangers　of　a　barbaric　country　staggering　towards　revolution；　Benham　went　with　his　own　love　like　a　lamp　within　him　and　this　affair　of　Prothero's　reflecting　its　light；　and　he　was　quite　prepared　for　the　most　sympathetic　and　liberal　behaviour　when　he　came　back　to　Moscow　to　make　the　lady's　acquaintance。　　He　intended　to　help　Prothero　to　marry　and　take　her　back　to　Cambridge；　and　to　assist　by　every　possible　means　in　destroying　and　forgetting　the　official　yellow　ticket　that　defined　her　status　in　Moscow。　　But　he　reckoned　without　either　Prothero　or　the　young　lady　in　this　expectation。　It　only　got　to　him　slowly　through　his　political　preoccupations　that　there　were　obscure　obstacles　to　this　manifest　course。　　Prothero　hesitated；　the　lady　expressed　doubts。　On　closer　acquaintance　her　resemblance　to　Amanda　diminished。　　It　was　chiefly　a　similarity　of　complexion。　　She　had　a　more　delicate　face　than　Amanda；　and　its　youthful　brightness　was　deadened；　she　had　none　of　Amanda's　glow；　and　she　spoke　her　mother's　language　with　a　pretty　halting　limp　that　was　very　different　from　Amanda's　clear　decisions。　She　put　her　case　compactly。　〃I　would　not　DO　in　Cambridge；〃　she　said　with　an　infinitesimal　glance　at　Prothero。　〃Mr。　Benham；〃　she　said；　and　her　manner　had　the　gravity　of　a　woman　of　affairs；〃　now　do　you　see　me　in　Cambridge？　　Now　do　you　see　me？　　Kept　outside　the　walls？　　In　a　little　DATCHA？　　With　no　occupation？　　Just　to　amuse　him。〃　And　on　another　occasion　when　Prothero　was　not　with　her　she　achieved　still　completer　lucidity。　〃I　would　come　if　I　thought　he　wanted　me　to　come；〃　she　said。　　〃But　you　see　if　I　came　he　would　not　want　me　to　come。　　Because　then　he　would　have　me　and　so　he　wouldn't　want　me。　　He　would　just　have　the　trouble。　　And　I　am　not　sure　if　I　should　be　happy　in　Cambridge。　　I　am　not　sure　I　should　be　happy　enough　to　make　him　happy。　　It　is　a　very　learned　and　intelligent　and　charming　society；　of　course；　but　here；　THINGS　HAPPEN。　　At　Cambridge　nothing　happensthere　is　only　education。　　There　is　no　revolution　in　Cambridge；　there　are　not　even　sinful　people　to　be　sorry　for。　。　。　。　　And　he　says　himself　that　Cambridge　people　are　particular。　　He　says　they　are　liberal　but　very；　very　particular；　and　perhaps　I　could　not　always　act　my　part　well。　Sometimes　I　am　not　always　well　behaved。　　When　there　is　music　I　behave　badly　sometimes；　or　when　I　am　bored。　　He　says　the　Cambridge　people　are　so　liberal　that　they　do　not　mind　what　you　are；　but　he　says　they　are　so　particular　that　they　mind　dreadfully　how　you　are　what　you　are。　。　。　。　　So　that　it　comes　to　exactly　the　same　thing。　。　。　。〃　〃Anna　Alexievna；〃　said　Benham　suddenly；　〃are　you　in　love　with　Prothero？〃　Her　manner　became　conscientiously　scientific。　〃He　is　very　kind　and　very　generoustoo　generous。　　He　keeps　sending　for　more　moneyhundreds　of　roubles；　I　try　to　prevent　him。〃　〃Were　you　EVER　in　love？〃　〃Of　course。　　But　it's　all　gone　long　ago。　　It　was　like　being　hungry。　Only　very　fine　hungry。　　Exquisite　hungry。　。　。　。　　And　then　being　disgusted。　。　。　。〃　〃He　is　in　love　with　you。〃　〃What　is　love？〃　said　Anna。　　〃He　is　grateful。　　He　is　by　nature　grateful。〃　　She　smiled　a　smile；　like　the　smile　of　a　pale　Madonna　who　looks　down　on　her　bambino。　〃And　you　love　nothing？〃　〃I　love　Russiaand　being　alone；　being　completely　alone。　　When　I　am　dead　perhaps　I　shall　be　alone。　　Not　even　my　own　body　will　touch　me　then。〃　Then　she　added；　〃But　I　shall　be　sorry　when　he　goes。〃　Afterwards　Benham　talked　to　Prothero　alone。　　〃Your　Anna；〃　he　said；　〃is　rather　wonderful。　　At　first；　I　tell　you　now　frankly　I　did　not　like　her　very　much；　I　thought　she　looked　‘used；'　she　drank　vodka　at　lunch；　she　was　gay；　uneasily；　she　seemed　a　sham　thing。　　All　that　was　prejudice。　　She　thinks；　she's　generous；　she's　fine。〃　〃She's　tragic；〃　said　Prothero　as　though　it　was　the　same　thing。　He　spoke　as　though　he　noted　an　objection。　　His　next　remark　confirmed　this　impression。　　〃That's　why　I　can't　take　her　back　to　Cambridge；〃　he　said。　〃You　see；　Benham；〃　he　went　on；　〃she's　human。　　She's　not　really　feminine。　　I　mean；　she'sunsexed。　　She　isn't　fitted　to　be　a　wife　or　a　mother　any　more。　　We've　talked　about　the　possible　life　in　England；　very　plainly。　　I've　explained　what　a　household　in　Cambridge　would　mean。　。　。　。　　It　doesn't　attract　her。　。　。　。　　In　a　way　she's　been　let　out　from　womanhood；　forced　out　of　womanhood；　and　I　see　now　that　when　women　are　let　out　from　womanhood　there's　no　putting　them　back。　　I　could　give　a　lecture　on　Anna。　　I　see　now　that　if　women　are　going　to　be　wives　and　mothers　and　homekeepers　and　ladies；　they　must　be　got　ready　for　it　from　the　beginning；　sheltered；　never　really　let　out　into　the　wild　chances　of　life。　　She　has　been。　　Bitterly。　　She's　REALLY　emancipated。　　And　it's　let　her　out　into　a　sort　of　nothingness。　　She's　no　longer　a　woman；　and　she　isn't　a　man。　　She　ought　to　be　able　to　go　on　her　ownlike　a　man。　　But　I　can't　take　her　back　to　Cambridge。　　Even　for　her　sake。〃　His　perplexed　eyes　regarded　Benham。　〃You　won't　be　happy　in　Cambridgealone；〃　said　Benham。　〃Oh；　damnably　not！　　But　what　can　I　do？　　I　had　at　first　some　idea　of　coming　to　Moscow　for　goodteaching。〃　He　paused。　　〃Impossible。　　I'm　worth　nothing　here。　　I　couldn't　have　kept　her。〃　〃Then　what　are　you　going　to　do；　Billy？〃　〃I　don't　KNOW　what　I'm　going　to　do；　I　tell　you。　　I　live　for　the　moment。　　To…morrow　we　are　going　out　into　the　country。〃　〃I　don't　understand；〃　said　Benham　with　a　gesture　of　resignation。　〃It　seems　to　me　that　if　a　man　and　woman　love　each　otherwell；　they　insist　upon　each　other。　　What　is　to　happen　to　her　if　you　leave　her　in　Moscow？〃　〃Damnation！　　Is　there　any　need　to　ask　that？〃　〃Take　her　to　Cambridge；　man。　　And　if　Cambridge　objects；　teach　Cambridge　better　manners。〃　Prothero's　face　was　suddenly　transfigured　wi