the research magnificent-第48节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


x　that　is　going　on　in　Cambridge　this　morning。　　The　hundreds　out　of　these　thousands　full　of　it。　　A　vast　tank　of　cerebration。　　And　we　put　none　of　it　together；　we　work　nothing　out　from　that　but　poor　little　couplings　and　casual　stories；　patchings　up　of　situations；　misbehaviours；　blunders；　disease；　trouble；　escapes；　and　the　next　generation　will　start；　and　the　next　generation　after　that　will　start　with　nothing　but　your　wisdom　of　the　ages；　which　isn't　wisdom　at　all；　which　is　just　awe　and　funk；　taboos　and　mystery　and　the　secretive　cunning　of　the　savage。　。　。　。　〃What　I　really　want　to　do　is　my　work；〃　said　Prothero；　going　off　quite　unexpectedly　again。　　〃That　is　why　all　this　business；　this　incessant　craving　and　the　shame　of　it　and　all　makes　me　so　infernally　angry。　。　。　。〃

11

〃There　I'm　with　you；〃　cried　Benham；　struggling　out　of　the　thick　torrent　of　Prothero's　prepossessions。　　〃What　we　want　to　do　is　our　work。〃　He　clung　to　his　idea。　　He　raised　his　voice　to　prevent　Prothero　getting　the　word　again。　〃It's　this；　that　you　call　Work；　that　I　callwhat　do　I　call　it？　living　the　aristocratic　life；　which　takes　all　the　coarse　simplicity　out　of　this　business。　　If　it　was　only　submission。　。　。　。　　YOU　think　it　is　only　submissiongiving　way。　。　。　。　　It　isn't　only　submission。　We'd　manage　sex　all　right；　we'd　be　the　happy　swine　our　senses　would　make　us；　if　we　didn't　know　all　the　time　that　there　was　something　else　to　live　for；　something　far　more　important。　　And　different。　Absolutely　different　and　contradictory。　　So　different　that　it　cuts　right　across　all　these　considerations。　　It　won't　fit　in。　。　。　。　　I　don't　know　what　this　other　thing　is；　it's　what　I　want　to　talk　about　with　you。　　But　I　know　that　it　IS；　in　all　my　bones。　。　。　。　　YOU　know。　。　。　。　　It　demands　control；　it　demands　continence；　it　insists　upon　disregard。〃　But　the　ideas　of　continence　and　disregard　were　unpleasant　ideas　to　Prothero　that　day。　〃Mankind；〃　said　Benham；　〃is　overcharged　with　this　sex。　　It　suffocates　us。　　It　gives　life　only　to　consume　it。　　We　struggle　out　of　the　urgent　necessities　of　a　mere　animal　existence。　　We　are　not　so　much　living　as　being　married　and　given　in　marriage。　　All　life　is　swamped　in　the　love　story。　。　。　。〃　〃Man　is　only　overcharged　because　he　is　unsatisfied；〃　said　Prothero；　sticking　stoutly　to　his　own　view。

12

It　was　only　as　they　sat　at　a　little　table　in　the　orchard　at　Grantchester　after　their　lunch　that　Benham　could　make　head　against　Prothero　and　recover　that　largeness　of　outlook　which　had　so　easily　touched　the　imagination　of　Amanda。　　And　then　he　did　not　so　much　dispose　of　Prothero's　troubles　as　soar　over　them。　　It　is　the　last　triumph　of　the　human　understanding　to　sympathize　with　desires　we　do　not　share；　and　to　Benham　who　now　believed　himself　to　be　loved　beyond　the　chances　of　life；　who　was　satisfied　and　tranquil　and　austerely　content；　it　was　impossible　that　Prothero's　demands　should　seem　anything　more　than　the　grotesque　and　squalid　squealings　of　the　beast　that　has　to　be　overridden　and　rejected　altogether。　　It　is　a　freakish　fact　of　our　composition　that　these　most　intense　feelings　in　life　are　just　those　that　are　most　rapidly　and　completely　forgotten；　hate　one　may　recall　for　years；　but　the　magic　of　love　and　the　flame　of　desire　serve　their　purpose　in　our　lives　and　vanish；　leaving　no　trace；　like　the　snows　of　Venice。　　Benham　was　still　not　a　year　and　a　half　from　the　meretricious　delights　of　Mrs。　Skelmersdale；　and　he　looked　at　Prothero　as　a　marble　angel　might　look　at　a　swine　in　its　sty。　。　。　。　What　he　had　now　in　mind　was　an　expedition　to　Russia。　　When　at　last　he　could　sufficiently　release　Prothero's　attention；　he　unfolded　the　project　that　had　been　developing　steadily　in　him　since　his　honeymoon　experience。　He　had　discovered　a　new　reason　for　travelling。　　The　last　country　we　can　see　clearly；　he　had　discovered；　is　our　own　country。　　It　is　as　hard　to　see　one's　own　country　as　it　is　to　see　the　back　of　one's　head。　　It　is　too　much　behind　us；　too　much　ourselves。　　But　Russia　is　like　England　with　everything　larger；　more　vivid；　cruder；　one　felt　that　directly　one　walked　about　St。　Petersburg。　　St。　Petersburg　upon　its　Neva　was　like　a　savage　untamed　London　on　a　larger　Thames；　they　were　seagull…haunted　tidal　cities；　like　no　other　capitals　in　Europe。　The　shipping　and　buildings　mingled　in　their　effects。　　Like　London　it　looked　over　the　heads　of　its　own　people　to　a　limitless　polyglot　empire。　　And　Russia　was　an　aristocratic　land；　with　a　middle…class　that　had　no　pride　in　itself　as　a　class；　it　had　a　British　toughness　and　incompetence；　a　British　disregard　of　logic　and　meticulous　care。　Russia；　like　England；　was　outside　Catholic　Christendom；　it　had　a　state　church　and　the　opposition　to　that　church　was　not　secularism　but　dissent。　　One　could　draw　a　score　of　such　contrasted　parallels。　And　now　it　was　in　a　state　of　intolerable　stress；　that　laid　bare　the　elemental　facts　of　a　great　social　organization。　　It　was　having　its　South　African　war；　its　war　at　the　other　end　of　the　earth；　with　a　certain　defeat　instead　of　a　dubious　victory。　。　。　。　〃There　is　far　more　freedom　for　the　personal　life　in　Russia　than　in　England；〃　said　Prothero；　a　little　irrelevantly。　Benham　went　on　with　his　discourse　about　Russia。　。　。　。　〃At　the　college　of　Troitzka；〃　said　Prothero；　〃which　I　understand　is　a　kind　of　monster　Trinity　unencumbered　by　a　University；　Binns　tells　me　that　although　there　is　a　profession　of　celibacy　within　the　walls；　the　arrangements　of　the　town　and　more　particularly　of　the　various　hotels　are　conceived　in　a　spirit　of　extreme　liberality。〃　Benham　hardly　attended　at　all　to　these　interruptions。　He　went　on　to　point　out　the　elemental　quality　of　the　Russian　situation。　　He　led　up　to　the　assertion　that　to　go　to　Russia；　to　see　Russia；　to　try　to　grasp　the　broad　outline　of　the　Russian　process；　was　the　manifest　duty　of　every　responsible　intelligence　that　was　free　to　do　as　much。　　And　so　he　was　going；　and　if　Prothero　cared　to　come　too　〃Yes；〃　said　Prothero；　〃I　should　like　to　go　to　Russia。〃

13

But　throughout　all　their　travel　together　that　summer　Benham　was　never　able　to　lift　Prothero　away　from　his　obsession。　　It　was　the　substance　of　their　talk　as　the　Holland　boat　stood　out　past　waiting　destroyers　and　winking　beacons　and　the　lights　of　Harwich；　into　the　smoothly　undulating　darkness　of　the　North　Sea；　it　rose　upon　them　again　as　they　sat　over　the　cakes　and　cheese　of　a　Dutch　breakfast　in　the　express　for　Berlin。　　Prothero　filled　the　Sieges　Allee　with　his　complaints　against　nature　and　society；　and　distracted　Benham　in　his　contemplation　of　Polish　agriculture　from　the　windows　of　the　train　with　turgid　sexual　liberalism。　　So　that　Benham；　during　this　period　until　Prothero　left　him　and　until　the　tragic　enormous　spectacle　of　Russia　in　revolution　took　complete　possession　of　him；　was　as　it　were　thinking　upon　two　floors。　　Upon　the　one　he　was　thinking　of　the　vast　problems　of　a　society　of　a　hundred　million　people　staggering　on　the　verge　of　anarchy；　and　upon　the　other　he　was　perplexed　by　the　feverish　inattention　of　Prothero　to　the　tremendous　things　that　were　going　on　all　about　them。　　It　was　only　presently　when　the　serenity　of　his　own　private　life　began　to　be　ruffled　by　disillusionment；　that　he　began　to　realize　the　intimate　connexion　of　these　two　systems　of　thought。　　Yet　Prothero　put　it　to　him　plainly　enough。　〃Inattentive；〃　said　Prothero；　〃of　course　I　am　inattentive。　　What　is　really　the　matter　with　all　thisthis　social　mess　people　are　in　here；　is　that　nearly　everybody　is　inattentive。　　These　Big　Things　of　yours；　nobody　is　thinking　of　them　really。　　Everybody　is　thinking　about　the　Near　Things　that　concern　himself。〃　〃The　bombs　they　threw　yesterday？　　The　Cossacks　and　the　whips？〃　〃Nudges。　　Gestures　of　inattention。　　If　everybody　was　thinking　of　the　Res　Publica　would　there　be　any　need　for　bombs？〃　He　pursued　his　advantage。　　〃It's　all　nonsense　to　suppose　people　think　of　politics　because　they　are　in　‘em。　　As　well　suppose　that　the　passengers　on　a　liner　understand　the　engines；　or　soldiers　a　war。　Before　men　can　think　of　to…morrow；　they　must　think　of　to…day。　Before　they　can　think　of　others；　they　must　be　sure　about　themselves。　First　of　all；　food；　the　private；　the　personal　economic　worry。　　Am　I　safe　for　food？　　Then　sex；　and　until　one　is　tranquil　and　not　ashamed；　not　irritated　and　dissatisfied；　how　can　one　care　for　other　people；　or　for　next　year　or　the　Order　of　the　World？　　How　can　one；　Benham？〃　He　seized　the　illustration　at　hand。　　〃Here　we　are　in　Warsawnot　a　month　after　bomb…throwing　and　Cossack　charging。　　Windows　have　still　to　be　mended；　smashed　doors　restored。　　There's　blood…stains　still　on　some　of　the　houses。　　There　are　hundreds　of　people　in　the　Citadel　and　in　the　Ochrana　prison。　　This　morning　there　were　executions。　　Is　it　anything　more　than　an　eddy　in　the　real　life　of　the　place？　　Watch　the　customers　in　the　shops；　the　crowd　in　the　streets；　the　men　in　the　cafes　who　stare　at　the　passing　women。　　They　are　all　swallowed　up　again　in　their　own　business。　　They　just　looked　up　as　the　Cossacks　galloped　past；　they　just　shifted　a　bit　when　the　bullets　spat。　。　。　。〃　And　when　the　streets　of　Moscow　were　agog　with　the　grotesque　amazing　adventure　of　the　Potemkin　mutineers；　Prothero　was　in　the　full　tide　of　the　private　romance　that　severed　him　from　Benham　and　sent　him　back　to　Cambridgechanged。　Before　they　reached　Mosc