when the world shook-第4节

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though　a　little　reflection　would　have　shown　them　that　there　was

no　one　in　the　neighbourhood　which　for　a　time　I　seldom　left；　who

could　possibly　have　tempted　an　educated　creature　to　such　courses。



Terrible　is　the　lot　of　a　man　who；　while　still　young　and

possessing　the　intellect　necessary　to　achievement；　is　deprived　of

all　ambition。　And　I　had　none　at　all。　I　did　not　even　wish　to

purchase　a　peerage　or　a　baronetcy　in　this　fashion　or　in　that；

and；　as　in　my　father's　case；　my　tastes　were　so　many　and　so

catholic　that　I　could　not　lose　myself　in　any　one　of　them。　They

never　became　more　than　diversions　to　me。　A　hobby　is　only　really

amusing　when　it　becomes　an　obsession。



At　length　my　lonesome　friendliness　oppressed　me　so　much　that　I

took　steps　to　mitigate　it。　In　my　college　life　I　had　two

particular　friends　whom　I　think　I　must　have　selected　because　they

were　so　absolutely　different　from　myself。



They　were　named　Bastin　and　Bickley。　BastinBasil　was　his

Christian　namewas　an　uncouth；　shock…headed；　flat…footed　person

of　large；　rugged　frame　and　equally　rugged　honesty；　with　a　mind

almost　incredibly　simple。　Nothing　surprised　him　because　he　lacked

the　faculty　of　surprise。　He　was　like　that　kind　of　fish　which　lies

at　the　bottom　of　the　sea　and　takes　every　kind　of　food　into　its

great　maw　without　distinguishing　its　flavour。　Metaphorically

speaking；　heavenly　manna　and　decayed　cabbage　were　just　the　same

to　Bastin。　He　was　not　fastidious　and　both　were　mental　pabulumof

a　sorttogether　with　whatever　lay　between　these　extremes。　Yet　he

was　good；　so　painfully　good　that　one　felt　that　without　exertion

to　himself　he　had　booked　a　first…class　ticket　straight　to　Heaven；

indeed　that　his　guardian　angel　had　tied　it　round　his　neck　at

birth　lest　he　should　lose　it；　already　numbered　and　dated　like　an

identification　disc。



I　am　bound　to　add　that　Bastin　never　went　wrong　because　he　never

felt　the　slightest　temptation　to　do　so。　This　I　suppose

constitutes　real　virtue；　since；　in　view　of　certain　Bible　sayings；

the　person　who　is　tempted　and　would　like　to　yield　to　the

temptation；　is　equally　a　sinner　with　the　person　who　does　yield。

To　be　truly　good　one　should　be　too　good　to　be　tempted；　or　too

weak　to　make　the　effort　worth　the　tempter's　whilein　short　not

deserving　of　his　powder　and　shot。



I　need　hardly　add　that　Bastin　went　into　the　Church；　indeed；　he

could　not　have　gone　anywhere　else；　it　absorbed　him　naturally；　as

doubtless　Heaven　will　do　in　due　course。　Only　I　think　it　likely

that　until　they　get　to　know　him　he　will　bore　the　angels　so　much

that　they　will　continually　move　him　up　higher。　Also　if　they　have

any　susceptibilities　left；　probably　he　will　tread　upon　their

toesan　art　in　which　I　never　knew　his　equal。　However；　I　always

loved　Bastin；　perhaps　because　no　one　else　did；　a　fact　of　which　he

remained　totally　unconscious；　or　perhaps　because　of　his　brutal

way　of　telling　one　what　he　conceived　to　be　the　truth；　which；　as

he　had　less　imagination　than　a　dormouse；　generally　it　was　not。

For　if　the　truth　is　a　jewel；　it　is　one　coloured　and　veiled　by

many　different　lights　and　atmospheres。



It　only　remains　to　add　that　he　was　learned　in　his　theological

fashion　and　that　among　his　further　peculiarities　were　the　slow；

monotonous　voice　in　which　he　uttered　his　views　in　long　sentences；

and　his　total　indifference　to　adverse　argument　however　sound　and

convincing。



My　other　friend；　Bickley；　was　a　person　of　a　quite　different

character。　Like　Bastin；　he　was　learned；　but　his　tendencies　faced

another　way。　If　Bastin's　omnivorous　throat　could　swallow　a　camel；

especially　a　theological　camel；　Bickley's　would　strain　at　the

smallest　gnat；　especially　a　theological　gnat。　The　very　best　and

most　upright　of　men；　yet　he　believed　in　nothing　that　he　could　not

taste；　see　or　handle。　He　was　convinced；　for　instance；　that　man　is

a　brute…descended　accident　and　no　more；　that　what　we　call　the

soul　or　the　mind　is　produced　by　a　certain　action　of　the　grey

matter　of　the　brain；　that　everything　apparently　inexplicable　has

a　perfectly　mundane　explanation；　if　only　one　could　find　it；　that

miracles　certainly　never　did　happen；　and　never　will；　that　all

religions　are　the　fruit　of　human　hopes　and　fears　and　the　most

convincing　proof　of　human　weakness；　that　notwithstanding　our

infinite　variations　we　are　the　subjects　of　Nature's　single　law

and　the　victims　of　blind；　black　and　brutal　chance。



Such　was　Bickley　with　his　clever；　well…cut　face　that　always

reminded　me　of　a　cameo；　and　thoughtful　brow；　his　strong；　capable

hands　and　his　rather　steely　mouth；　the　mere　set　of　which

suggested　controversy　of　an　uncompromising　kind。　Naturally　as　the

Church　had　claimed　Bastin；　so　medicine　claimed　Bickley。



Now　as　it　happened　the　man　who　succeeded　my　father　as　vicar　of

Fulcombe　was　given　a　better　living　and　went　away　shortly　after　I

had　purchased　the　place　and　with　it　the　advowson。　Just　at　this

time　also　I　received　a　letter　written　in　the　large；　sprawling

hand　of　Bastin　from　whom　I　had　not　heard　for　years。　It　went

straight　to　the　point；　saying　that　he；　Bastin；　had　seen　in　a

Church　paper　that　the　last　incumbent　had　resigned　the　living　of

Fulcombe　which　was　in　my　gift。　He　would　therefore　be　obliged　if　I

would　give　it　to　him　as　the　place　he　was　at　in　Yorkshire　did　not

suit　his　wife's　health。



Here　I　may　state　that　afterwards　I　learned　that　what　did　not

suit　Mrs。　Bastin　was　the　organist；　who　was　pretty。　She　was　by

nature　a　woman　with　a　temperament　so　insanely　jealous　that

actually　she　managed　to　be　suspicious　of　Bastin；　whom　she　had

captured　in　an　unguarded　moment　when　he　was　thinking　of　something

else　and　who　would　as　soon　have　thought　of　even　looking　at　any

woman　as　he　would　of　worshipping　Baal。　As　a　matter　of　fact　it

took　him　months　to　know　one　female　from　another。　Except　as

possible　providers　of　subscriptions　and　props　of　Mothers'

Meetings；　women　had　no　interest　for　him。



To　returnwith　that　engaging　honesty　which　I　have　mentioned

Bastin's　letter　went　on　to　set　out　all　his　own　disabilities；

which；　he　added；　would　probably　render　him　unsuitable　for　the

place　he　desired　to　fill。　He　was　a　High　Churchman；　a　fact　which

would　certainly　offend　many；　he　had　no　claims　to　being　a　preacher

although　he　was　extraordinarily　well　acquainted　with　the　writings

of　the　Early　Fathers。　（What　on　earth　had　that　to　do　with　the

question；　I　wondered。）　On　the　other　hand　he　had　generally　been

considered　a　good　visitor　and　was　fond　of　walking　（he　meant　to

call　on　distant　parishioners；　but　did　not　say　so）。



Then　followed　a　page　and　a　half　on　the　evils　of　the　existing

system　of　the　presentation　to　livings　by　private　persons；　ending

with　the　suggestion　that　I　had　probably　committed　a　sin　in　buying

this　particular　advowson　in　order　to　increase　my　local　authority；

that　is；　if　I　had　bought　it；　a　point　on　which　he　was　ignorant。

Finally　he　informed　me　that　as　he　had　to　christen　a　sick　baby

five　miles　away　on　a　certain　moor　and　it　was　too　wet　for　him　to

ride　his　bicycle；　he　must　stop。　And　he　stopped。



There　was；　however；　a　P。S。　to　the　letter；　which　ran　as　follows：



〃Someone　told　me　that　you　were　dead　a　few　years　ago；　and　of

course　it　may　be　another　man　of　the　same　name　who　owns　Fulcombe。

If　so；　no　doubt　the　Post　Office　will　send　back　this　letter。〃



That　was　his　only　allusion　to　my　humble　self　in　all　those

diffuse　pages。　It　was　a　long　while　since　I　had　received　an

epistle　which　made　me　laugh　so　much；　and　of　course　I　gave　him　the

living　by　return　of　post；　and　even　informed　him　that　I　would

increase　its　stipend　to　a　sum　which　I　considered　suitable　to　the

position。



About　ten　days　later　I　received　another　letter　from　Bastin

which；　as　a　scrawl　on　the　flap　of　the　envelope　informed　me；　he

had　carried　for　a　week　in　his　pocket　and　forgotten　to　post。

Except　by　inference　it　returned　no　thanks　for　my　intended

benefits。　What　it　did　say；　however；　was　that　he　thought　it　wrong

of　me　to　have　settled　a　matter　of　such　spiritual　importance　in　so

great　a　hurry；　though　he　had　observed　that　rich　men　were　nearly

always　selfish　where　their　time　was　concerned。　Moreover；　he

considered　that　I　ought　first　to　have　made　inquiries　as　to　his

present　character　and　attainments；　etc。；　etc。



To　this　epistle　I　replied　by　telegraph　to　the　effect　that　I

should　as　soon　think　of　making　inquiries　about　the　character　of

an　archangel；　or　that　of　one　of　his　High　Church　saints。　This

telegram；　he　told　me　afterwards；　he　considered　unseemly　and　even

ribald；　especially　as　it　had　given　great　offence　to　the

postmaster；　who　was　one　of　the　sidesmen　in　his　church。



Thus　it　came　about　that　I　appointed　the　Rev。　Basil　Bastin　to

the　living　of　Fulcombe；　feeling　sure　that　he　would　provide　me

with　endless　amusement　and　act　as　a　moral　tonic　and　discipline。

Also　I　appreciated　the　man's　blunt　candour。　In　due　course　he

arrived；　and　I　confess　that　after　a　few　Sundays　of　experience　I

began　to　have　doubts　as　to