the portygee-第40节

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alarmed。

He　wrote　many　poems；　all　dealing　with　love　and　lovers；　and　sold
some　of　them。　　He　wrote　no　more　letters　to　Helen。　　She；　too；　had
ceased　to　write　him；　doubtless　because　of　the　lack　of　reply　to　her
last　two　or　three　letters。　　His　conscience　still　troubled　him　about
Helen；　he　could　not　help　feeling　that　his　treatment　of　her　had　not
been　exactly　honorable。　　Yet　what　else　under　the　circumstances
could　he　do？　　From　Mr。　Kendall　he　learned　that　she　was　coming　home
to　spend　Thanksgiving。　　He　would　see　her　then。　　She　would　ask　him
questions？　　What　should　his　answer　be？　　He　faced　the　situation　in
anticipation　many；　many　times；　usually　after　he　had　gone　to　bed　at
night；　and　lay　awake　through　long　torturing　hours　in　consequence。

But　when　at　last　Helen　and　he　did　meet；　the　day　before　Thanksgiving；
their　meeting　was　not　at　all　the　dreadful　ordeal　he　had　feared。　　Her
greeting　was　as　frank　and　cordial　as　it　had　always　been；　and　there
was　no　reproach　in　her　tone　or　manner。　　She　did　not　even　ask　him　why
he　had　stopped　writing。　　It　was　he；　himself；　who　referred　to　that
subject；　and　he　did　so　as　they　walked　together　down　the　main　road。
Just　why　he　referred　to　it　he　could　not　probably　have　told。　　He　was
aware　only　that　he　felt　mean　and　contemptible　and　that　he　must　offer
some　explanation。　　His　not　having　any　to　offer　made　the　task　rather
difficult。

But　she　saved　him　the　trouble。　　She　interrupted　one　of　his
blundering；　stumbling　sentences　in　the　middle。

〃Never　mind；　Albert；〃　she　said　quietly。　　〃You　needn't　explain。　　I
think　I　understand。〃

He　stopped　and　stared　at　her。　　〃You　understand？〃　he　repeated。
〃Whywhy；　no；　you　don't。　　You　can't。〃

〃Yes；　I　can；　or　I　think　I　can。　　You　have　changed　your　mind；　that　is
all。〃

〃Changed　my　mind？〃

〃Yes。　　Don't　you　remember　I　told　you　you　would　change　your　mind
aboutwell；　about　me？　　You　were　so　sure　you　cared　so　very；　very
much　for　me；　you　know。　　And　I　said　you　mustn't　promise　anything
because　I　thought　you　would　change　your　mind。　　And　you　have。　　That
is　it；　isn't　it？　　You　have　found　some　one　else。〃

He　gazed　at　her　as　if　she　were　a　witch　who　had　performed　a　miracle。

〃Whywhywell；　by　George！〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃Helenhowhow　did
you　know？　　Who　told　you？〃

〃No　one　told　me。　　But　I　think　I　can　even　guess　who　it　is　you　have
found。　　It　is　Madeline　Fosdick；　isn't　it？〃

His　amazement　now　was　so　open…mouthed　as　well　as　open…eyed　that　she
could　not　help　smiling。

〃Don't！　　Don't　stare　at　me　like　that；〃　she　whispered。　　〃Every　one
is　looking　at　you。　　There　is　old　Captain　Pease　on　the　other　side　of
the　street；　I'm　sure　he　thinks　you　have　had　a　stroke　or　something。
Here！　　Walk　down　our　road　a　little　way　toward　home　with　me。　　We　can
talk　as　we　walk。　　I'm　sure；〃　she　added；　with　just　the　least　bit　of
change　in　her　tone；　〃that　your　Madeline　won't　object　to　our　being
together　to　that　extent。〃

She　led　the　way　down　the　side　street　toward　the　parsonage　and　he
followed　her。　　He　was　still　speechless　from　surprise。

〃Well；〃　she　went　on；　after　a　moment；　〃aren't　you　going　to　say
anything？〃

〃Butbut；　Helen；〃　he　faltered；　〃how　did　you　know？〃

She　smiled　again。　　〃Then　it　IS　Madeline；〃　she　said。　　〃I　thought　it
must　be。〃

〃Youyou　thought　　What　made　you　think　so？〃

For　an　instant　she　seemed　on　the　point　of　losing　her　patience。

Then　she　turned　and　laid　her　hand　on　his　arm。

〃Oh；　Al；〃　she　said；　〃please　don't　think　I　am　altogether　an　idiot。
I　surmised　when　your　letters　began　to　grow　shorter　andwell；
differentthat　there　was　something　or　some　one　who　was　changing
them；　and　I　suspected　it　was　some　one。　　When　you　stopped　writing
altogether；　I　KNEW　there　must　be。　　Then　father　wrote　in　his　letters
about　you　and　about　meeting　you；　and　so　often　Madeline　Fosdick　was
wherever　he　met　you。　　So　I　guessedand；　you　see；　I　guessed　right。〃

He　seized　her　hand。

〃Oh；　Helen；〃　he　cried；　〃if　you　only　knew　how　mean　I　have　felt　and
how　ashamed　I　am　of　the　way　I　have　treated　you！　　But；　you　see；　II
COULDN'T　write　you　and　tell　you　because　we　had　agreed　to　keep　it　a
secret。　　I　couldn't　tell　ANY　ONE。〃

〃Oh；　it　is　as　serious　as　that！　　Are　you　two　really　and　truly
engaged？〃

〃Yes。　　There！　　I've　told　it；　and　I　swore　I　would　never　tell。〃

〃No；　no；　you　didn't　tell。　　I　guessed。　　Now　tell　me　all　about　her。
She　is　very　lovely。　　Is　she　as　sweet　as　she　looks？〃

He　rhapsodized　for　five　minutes。　　Then　all　at　once　he　realized　what
he　was　saying　and　to　whom　he　was　saying　it。　　He　stopped；　stammering；
in　the　very　middle　of　a　glowing　eulogium。

〃Go　on；〃　said　Helen　reassuringly。　　But　he　could　not　go　on；　under
the　circumstances。　　Instead　he　turned　very　red。　　As　usual；　she
divined　his　thought；　noticed　his　confusion；　and　took　pity　on　it。

〃She　must　be　awfully　nice；〃　she　said。　　〃I　don't　wonder　you　fell　in
love　with　her。　　I　wish　I　might　know　her　better。〃

〃I　wish　you　might。　　By　and　by　you　must。　　And　she　must　know　you。
Helen；　II　feel　so　ashamed　ofof〃

〃Hush；　or　I　shall　begin　to　think　you　are　ashamed　because　you　liked
meor　thought　you　did。〃

〃But　I　do　like　you。　　Next　to　Madeline　there　is　no　one　I　like　so
much。　　But；　but；　you　see；　it　is　different。〃

〃Of　course　it　is。　　And　it　ought　to　be。　　Does　her　motherdo　her
people　know　of　the　engagement？〃

He　hesitated　momentarily。　　〃No…o；〃　he　admitted；　〃they　don't　yet。
She　and　I　have　decided　to　keep　it　a　secret　from　any　one　for　the
present。　　I　want　to　get　on　a　little　further　with　my　writing；　you
know。　　She　is　like　you　in　that；　Helenshe's　awfully　fond　of　poetry
and　literature。〃

〃Especially　yours；　I'm　sure。　　Tell　me　about　your　writing。　　How　are
you　getting　on？〃

So　he　told　her　and；　until　they　stood　together　at　the　parsonage
gate；　Madeline's　name　was　not　again　mentioned。　　Then　Helen　put　out
her　hand。

〃Good　morning；　Albert；〃　she　said。　　〃I'm　glad　we　have　had　this　talk；
ever　so　glad。〃

〃By　George；　so　am　I！　　You're　a　corking　friend；　Helen。　　The　chap　who
does　marry　you　will　be　awfully　lucky。〃

She　smiled　slightly。　　〃Perhaps　there　won't　be　any　such　chap；〃　she
said。　　〃I　shall　always　be　a　schoolmarm；　I　imagine。〃

〃Indeed　you　won't；〃　indignantly。　　〃I　have　too　high　an　opinion　of
men　for　that。〃

She　smiled　again；　seemed　about　to　speak；　and　then　to　change　her
mind。　　An　instant　later　she　said；

〃I　must　go　in　now。　　But　I　shall　hope　to　see　you　again　before　I　go
back　to　the　city。　　And；　after　your　secret　is　out　and　the　engagement
is　announced；　I　want　to　write　Madeline；　may　I？〃

〃Of　course　you　may。　　And　she'll　like　you　as　much　as　I　do。〃

〃Will　she？　。　。　。　　Well；　perhaps；　we'll　hope　so。〃

〃Certainly　she　will。　　And　you　won't　let　my　treating　you　asas　I
have　make　any　difference　in　our　friendship？〃

〃No。　　We　shall　always　be　friends；　I　hope。　　Good…by。〃

She　went　into　the　house。　　He　waited　a　moment；　hoping　she　might　turn
again　before　entering；　but　she　did　not。　　He　walked　home；　pondering
deeply；　his　thoughts　a　curious　jumble　of　relief　and　dissatisfaction。
He　was　glad　Helen　had　seen　her　duty　and　given　him　over　to　Madeline；
but　he　felt　a　trifle　piqued　to　think　she　had　done　it　with　such
apparent　willingness。　　If　she　had　wept　or　scolded　it　would　have　been
unpleasant　but　much　more　gratifying　to　his　self…importance。

He　could　not　help　realizing；　however；　that　her　attitude　toward　him
was　exceptionally　fine。　　He　knew　well　that　he；　if　in　her　place；
would　not　have　behaved　as　she　had　done。　　No　spite；　no　sarcasm；　no
taunts；　no　unpleasant　reminders　of　things　said　only　a　few　months
before。　　And　with　all　her　forgiveness　and　forbearance　and
understanding　there　had　been　always　that　sense　of　greater　age　and
wisdom；　she　had　treated　him　as　she　might　have　treated　a　boy；
younger　brother；　perhaps。

〃She　IS　older　than　I　am；〃　he　thought；　〃even　if　she　really　isn't。
It's　funny；　but　it's　a　fact。〃

December　came　and　Christmas；　and　then　January　and　the　new　year；　the
year　1917。　　In　January；　Z。　Snow　and　Co。　took　its　yearly　account　of
stock；　and　Captain　Lote　and　Laban　and　Albert　and　Issachar　were
truly　busy　during　the　days　of　stock…taking　week　and　tired　when
evening　came。　　Laban　worked　the　hardest　of　the　quartette；　but　Issy
made　the　most　fuss　about　it。　　Labe；　who　had　chosen　the　holiday
season　to　go　on　one　of　his　periodical　vacations；　as　rather　white
and　shaky　and　even　more　silent　than　usual。　　Mr。　Price；　however；
talked　with　his　customary　fluency　and　continuity；　so　there　was　no
lack　of　conversation。　　Captain　Zelotes　was　moved　to　comment。

〃Issy；〃　he　suggested　gravely；　looking　up　from　a　long　column　of
figures；　〃did　you　ever　play　'Door'？〃

Issachar　stared　at　him。

〃Play　'Door'？〃　he　repeated。　　〃What's　that？〃

〃It's　a　game。　　Didn't　you　ever　play　it？〃

〃No；　don't　know's　I　ever　did。〃

〃Then　you'd　better　begin　right　this　minute。　　The　first　thing　to　do
is　to　shut　up　and　the　next　is　to　stay　that　way。　　You　play　'Door'
until　I　tell　you　to　do　somethin'　else；　d'you　hear？〃

At　home　the　week　between　Christmas　and　the　New　Year　was　rather
dismal。　　Mr。　Keeler's　holiday　vacation　had　brought　on　one　of　his
fiancee's　〃sympathetic　attacks；〃　and　she　tied　up　her　head　and　hung
crape　upon　her　soul；　as　usual。　　During　these　attacks　the　Snow
household　walked　on　tiptoe；　as　if　the　housekeeper　were　an　invalid
in　reality。　　Even　consoling　speeches　fro