we two-第25节

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to　be　kept　in　a　good　temper　till　my　father　was　ready　for　them；　then　there　was　father's　bag　to　be　packed；　and　a　rush　to　get　him　off　in　time　for　the　morning　express　to　Longstaff。　　Then　I　went　to　a　lecture　at　South　Kensington；　and　then　by　train　to　Aldersgate　Street　to　see　Hazeldine's　wife；　who　is　unconscionable　enough　to　live　at　the　top　of　one　of　the　model　lodging　houses。　　Then　she　told　me　of　another　of　our　people　whose　child　is　ill；　and　they　lived　in　another　row　of　Compton　buildings　up　a　hundred　more　steps；　which　left　my　back　nearly　broken。　　And　the　poor　little　child　was　fearfully　ill；　and　it　is　so　dreadful　to　see　pain　you　can　do　nothing　for；　it　has　made　me　feel　wretched　ever　since。　　Thenlet　me　thinkoh；　I　got　home　and　found　Aunt　Jean　with　a　heap　of　circulars　to　get　off；　and　there　was　a　great　rush　to　get　them　ready　by　post　time。〃

She　paused；　Charles　Osmond　withdrew　his　eyes　from　the　careful　scrutiny　of　her　face；　and　noticed　the　position　she　had　taken　up　in　his　chair。　　She　was　leaning　back　with　her　arms　resting　on　the　arms　of　the　chair；　not　merely　stretched　out　upon　them；　but　rather　as　if　she　used　them　for　support。　　His　eyes　wandered　back　again　to　her　face。　After　a　short　silence；　he　spoke。

〃You　have　been　feeling　very　tired　lately；　you　have　had　unaccountable　pains　flying　about　all　over　you；　but　specially　your　back　has　felt；　as　you　just　said；　somewhat　'broken。'　　You　have　generally　noticed　this　when　you　have　been　walking；　or　bending　over　your　desk　writing　for　the　'Idol…Breaker。'〃

She　laughed。

〃Now　please　don't　turn　into　a　clairvoyant；　I　shall　begin　to　think　you　uncanny；　and；　besides；　it　would　be　an　argument　for　Tom　when　we　quarrel　about　you。〃

〃Then　my　surmises　are　true？〃

〃Substitute　first　person　singular　for　second　plural；　and　it　might　have　come　from　my　own　lips；〃　said　Erica；　smiling。　　〃But　please　stop；　I'm　afraid　you　will　try　to　turn　prophet　next；　and　I'm　sure　you　will　prophesy　something　horrid。〃

〃It　would　need　no　very　clear…sighted　prophet　to　prophesy　that　you　will　have　to　let　your　wheels　run　down　for　a　little　while。〃

〃Do　you　mean　that　you　think　I　shall　die？〃　asked　Erica；　languidly。　　〃It　wouldn't　be　at　all　convenient　just　now；　father　couldn't　spare　me。　　Do　you　know；〃　and　her　face　brightened；　〃he　is　really　beginning　to　use　me　a　good　deal？〃

〃I　didn't　mean　that　I　thought　your　wheels　would　run　down　in　that　way；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　touched　by　the　pathos　of　her　words。　　〃I　may　even　be　wrong；　but　I　think　you　will　want　a　long　rest；　and　I　am　quite　sure　you　mustn't　lose　a　day　before　seeing　a　doctor。　　I　should　like　my　brother　to　see　you；　Brian　is　only　junior　partner；　you　know。〃

〃What；　another　Mr。　Osmond！　　How　muddled　we　shall　get　between　you　all！〃　said　Erica；　laughing。

〃I　should　think　that　Brian　might　be　Brian　by　this　time；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　〃that　will　dispose　of　one；　and　perhaps　you　would　like　to　follow　the　example　of　one　of　my　servants；　who；　I　hear；　invariably　speaks　of　me　as　the　'dear　rev。'〃

Erica　laughed。

〃No；　I　shall　call　you　my　'prophet；'　though　it　is　true　you　have　begun　by　being　a　prophet　of　evil！　　By　the　bye；　you　can　not　say　again　that　I　am　not　impartial。　　What　do　you　think　Tom　and　I　did　last　week？〃

〃Read　the　New　Testament　backward？〃

〃No；　we　went　to　a　Holy　Scripture　Society　meeting　at　Exeter　Hall。〃

〃Hope　you　were　edified；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　with　a　little　twinkle　in　his　eye；　but　he　sighed；　nevertheless。

〃Well；〃　said　Erica；　〃it　was　rather　curious　to　hear　everything　reversed；　and　there　was　a　good　deal　of　fun　altogether。　　They　talked　a　great　deal　about　the　numbers　of　bibles；　testaments；　and　portions　which　had　been　sent　out。　　There　was　one　man　who　spoke　very　broadly；　and　kept　on　speaking　of　the　'PORTIONS；'　and　there　was　another　whom　we　called　the　'Great　Door；'　because　eight　times　in　his　speech　he　said　that　a　great　door　had　been　opened　for　them　in　Italy　and　other　places。　　Altogether；　I　thought　them　rather　smug　and　self…satisfied；　especially　one　man　whose　face　shone　on　the　slightest　provocation；　and　who　remarked；　in　broad　Lincolnshire；　that　they　had　been　'aboondantly　blessed。'　　After　his　speech　a　little　short；　sleek　oily　man　got　up；　and　talked　about　Providence。　　Apparently　it　had　been　very　kind　to　him；　and　he　thought　the　other　sort　of　thing　did　best　for　those　who　got　it。　　But　there　were　one　or　two　really　good　speakers；　and　I　dare　say　they　were　all　in　earnest。　　Still；　you　know；　Tom　and　I　felt　rather　like　fish　out　of　water；　and　especially　when　they　began　to　sing；　'Oh；　Bible；　blessed　Bible！'　and　a　lady　would　make　me　share　her　hymn　book。　　Then；　too；　there　was　a　collection；　and　the　man　made　quite　a　pause　in　front　of　us；　and　of　course　we　couldn't　give　anything。　　Altogether；　I　felt　rather　horrid　and　hypocritical　for　being　there　at　all。〃

〃Is　that　your　only　experience　of　one　of　our　meetings？〃

〃Oh；　no；　father　took　me　with　him　two　or　three　times　to　Westminster　Abbey　a　good　many　years　ago。　　We　heard　the　dean；　father　admired　him　very　much。　　I　like　Westminster　Abbey。　　It　seems　to　belong　a　little　to　us；　too；　because　it　is　so　national。　　And　then　it　is　so　beautiful；　and　I　liked　hearing　the　music。　　I　wonder；　though；　that　you　are　not　little　afraid　of　having　it　so　much　in　your　worship。　　I　remember　hearing　a　beautiful　anthem　there　once；　which　just　thrilled　one　all　through。　　I　wonder　that　you　don't　fear　that　people　should　mistake　that　for　what　you　call　spiritual　fervor。〃

〃I　think；　perhaps；　there　is　a　danger　in　any　undue　introduction　of　externals；　but　any　one　whose　spirit　has　ever　been　awakened　will　never　mistake　the　mere　thrill　of　sensuous　rapture　for　the　quickening　of　the　spirit　by　the　Unseen。〃

〃You　are　talking　riddles　to　me　now！〃　said　Erica；　〃but　I　feel　sure　that　some　of　the　people　who　go　to　church　regularly　only　like　it　because　of　that　appeal　to　the　senses。　　I　shall　never　forget　going　one　afternoon　into　Notre　Dame　with　Mme。　Lemercier。　　A　flood　of　crimson　and　purple　light　was　shining　in　through　the　south　transept　windows。　　You　could　see　the　white…robed　priests　and　choristers　there　was　one　boy　with　the　most　perfect　voice　you　can　conceive。　　I　don't　know　what　they　were　singing；　something　very　sweet　and　mournful；　and；　as　that　one　voice　rang　up　into　the　vaulted　roof；　I　saw　Mme。　Lemercier　fall　down　on　her　knees　and　pray　in　a　sort　of　rapture。　　Even　I　myself　felt　the　tears　come　to　my　eyes；　just　because　of　the　loveliness；　and　because　the　blood　in　one's　veins　seemed　to　bound。　　And　then；　still　singing；　the　procession　passed　into　the　nave；　and　the　lovely　voice　grew　more　and　more　distant。　　It　was　a　wonderful　effect；　no　doubt；　the　congregation　thought　they　felt　devout；　but；　if　so；　then　I　too　felt　devoutquite　as　religious　as　they。　　Your　spiritual　fervor　seems　to　me　to　resolve　itself　into　artistic　effect　produced　by　an　appeal　to　the　senses　and　emotions。〃

〃And　I　must　repeat　my　riddle；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　quietly。　　〃No　awakened　spirit　could　ever　mistake　the　one　for　the　other。　　It　is　impossible！　　How　impossible　you　will　one　day　realize。〃

〃One　evil　prophesy　is　enough　for　today！〃　said　Erica　laughing。　　〃If　I　stay　any　longer；　you　will　be　prophesying　my　acceptance　of　Christianity。　　No；　no；　my　father　will　be　grieved　enough　if　your　first　prediction　comes　true；　but；　if　I　were　to　turn　Christian；　I　think　it　would　break　his　heart！〃

She　rose　to　go；　and　Charles　Osmond　went　with　her　to　the　door；　extracting　a　promise　that　she　would　discuss　things　with　her　aunt；　and　if　she　approved　send　for　Mr。　Osmond　at　once。　　He　watched　her　across　the　square；　then　turning　back　into　his　study　paced　to　and　fro　in　deep　thought。　　Erica's　words　rang　in　his　ears。　　〃If　I　were　to　turn　Christian；　I　think　it　would　break　his　heart。〃　　How　strangely　this　child　was　situated！　　How　almost　impossible　it　seemed　that　she　could　ever　in　this　world　come　to　the　light！　　And　yet　the　difficulty　might　perhaps　be　no　hindrance　to　one　so　beautifully　sincere；　so　ready　to　endure　anything　and　everything　for　the　sake　of　what　she　now　considered　truth。　　She　had　all　her　father's　zeal　and　self…devotion；　surely　the　offering　up　of　self；　even　in　a　mistaken　cause；　must　sooner　or　later　lead　to　the　Originator　of　all　self…sacrifice。　　Surely　some　of　those　who　seem　only　to　thwart　God；　honestly　deeming　Christianity　a　mischievous　delusion；　are　really　acting　more　in　His　spirit；　unconsciously　better　doing　His　will　than　many　who　openly　declare　themselves　on　His　side！　　Yet；　as　Charles　Osmond　mused　over　the　past　lives　of　Luke　Raeburn　and　his　daughter；　and　pictured　their　probable　future；　a　great　grief　filled　his　heart。　　They　wee　both　so　lovable；　so　noble！　　That　they　should　miss　in　a　great　measure　the　best　of　life　seemed　such　a　grievous　pity！　　The　chances　that　either　of　them　would　renounce　atheism　were；　he　could　not　but　feel；　infinitesimally　small。　　Much　smaller　for　the　father　than　for　the　child。

It　was　true；　indeed；　that　she　had　never　fairly　grasped　any　real　idea　of　the　character　of　Christ。　　He　had　once　grasped　it　to　a　certain　extent；　and　had　lost　the　perception　of　its　beauty　and　truth。　　It　was　true　also　that　Erica's　transparent　sincerity；　her　quick　perception　of　the　beautiful　might　help　very　greatly　to　overcome　her　deeply　ingrained　prejudices。　　But　even　then　what　an　agonywhat　a　fearful　struggle　would　lie　before　her；　〃I　think　it　would　break　his　heart！〃　　Charles　Osmond　felt　his　breath　come　fas