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'I have no cause to be ashamed of my name�察�sir��' said he�察�'nor yet 

my trade。  I am Thomas Dudgeon�察�at your service�察�clerk to Mr。 

Daniel Romaine�察�solicitor of London�察�High Holborn is our address�察�

sir。'



It was only by the ecstasy of the relief that I knew how horribly I 

had been frightened。  I flung my stick on the road。



'Romaine��' I cried。  'Daniel Romaine�拭 �An old hunks with a red face 

and a big head�察�and got up like a Quaker�拭 �My dear friend�察�to my 

arms��'



'Keep back�察�I say��' said Dudgeon weakly。



I would not listen to him。  With the end of my own alarm�察�I felt as 

if I must infallibly be at the end of all dangers likewise�察�as if 

the pistol that he held in one hand were no more to be feared than 

the valise that he carried with the other�察�and now put up like a 

barrier against my advance。



'Keep back�察�or I declare I will fire��' he was crying。  'Have a 

care�察�for God's sake�  �My pistol ´ '



He might scream as be pleased。  Willy nilly�察�I folded him to my 

breast�察�I pressed him there�察�I kissed his ugly mug as it had never 

been kissed before and would never be kissed again�察�and in the 

doing so knocked his wig awry and his hat off。  He bleated in my 

embrace�察�so bleats the sheep in the arms of the butcher。  The whole 

thing�察�on looking back�察�appears incomparably reckless and absurd�察�I 

no better than a madman for offering to advance on Dudgeon�察�and he 

no better than a fool for not shooting me while I was about it。  

But all's well that ends well�察�or�察�as the people in these days kept 

singing and whistling on the streets�此�





'There's a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft

And looks out for the life of poor Jack。'





'There��' said I�察�releasing him a little�察�but still keeping my hands 

on his shoulders�察�'JE VOUS AI BEL ET BIEN EMBRASSE ´ and�察�as you 

would say�察�there is another French word。'  With his wig over one 

eye�察�he looked incredibly rueful and put out。  'Cheer up�察�Dudgeon�察�

the ordeal is over�察�you shall be embraced no more。  But do�察�first 

of all�察�for God's´sake�察�put away your pistol�察�you handle it as if 

you were a cockatrice�察�some time or other�察�depend upon it�察�it will 

certainly go off。  Here is your hat。  No�察�let me put it on square�察�

and the wig before it。  Never suffer any stress of circumstances to 

come between you and the duty you owe to yourself。  If you have 

nobody else to dress for�察�dress for God��





'Put your wig straight

On your bald pate��

Keep your chin scraped��

And your figure draped。





Can you match me that�拭 �The whole duty of man in a quatrain�  �And 

remark�察�I do not set up to be a professional bard�察�these are the 

outpourings of a DILETTANTE。'



'But�察�my dear sir��' he exclaimed。



'But�察�my dear sir��' I echoed�察�'I will allow no man to interrupt the 

flow of my ideas。  Give me your opinion on my quatrain�察�or I vow we 

shall have a quarrel of it。'



'Certainly you are quite an original��' he said。



'Quite��' said I�察�'and I believe I have my counterpart before me。'



'Well�察�for a choice��' says he�察�smiling�察�'and whether for sense or 

poetry�察�give me





';Worth makes the man�察�and want of it the fellow��

The rest is all but leather and prunello。;'





'Oh�察�but that's not fair ´ that's Pope�  �It's not original�察�

Dudgeon。  Understand me��' said I�察�wringing his breast´button�察�'the 

first duty of all poetry is to be mine�察�sir ´ mine。  Inspiration 

now swells in my bosom�察�because ´ to tell you the plain truth�察�and 

descend a little in style ´ I am devilish relieved at the turn 

things have taken。  So�察�I dare say�察�are you yourself�察�Dudgeon�察�if 

you would only allow it。  And A PROPOS�察�let me ask you a home 

question。  Between friends�察�have you ever fired that pistol��'



'Why�察�yes�察�sir��' he replied。  'Twice ´ at hedgesparrows。'



'And you would have fired at me�察�you bloody´minded man��' I cried。



'If you go to that�察�you seemed mighty reckless with your stick��' 

said Dudgeon。



'Did I indeed�拭 �Well�察�well�察�'tis all past history�察�ancient as King 

Pharamond ´ which is another French word�察�if you cared to 

accumulate more evidence��' says I。  'But happily we are now the 

best of friends�察�and have all our interests in common。'



'You go a little too fast�察�if you'll excuse me�察�Mr。 ´�此�I do not 

know your name�察�that I am aware��' said Dudgeon。



'No�察�to be sure��' said I。  'Never heard of it��'



'A word of explanation ´ ' he began。



'No�察�Dudgeon��' I interrupted。  'Be practical�察�I know what you want�察�

and the name of it is supper。  RIEN NE CREUSE COMME L'EMOTION。  I 

am hungry myself�察�and yet I am more accustomed to warlike 

palpitations than you�察�who are but a hunter of hedgesparrows。  Let 

me look at your face critically�此�your bill of fare is three slices 

of cold rare roast beef�察�a Welsh rabbit�察�a pot of stout�察�and a 

glass or two of sound tawny port�察�old in bottle ´ the right milk of 

Englishmen。'  Methought there seemed a brightening in his eye and a 

melting about his mouth at this enumeration。



'The night is young��' I continued�察�'not much past eleven�察�for a 

wager。  Where can we find a good inn�拭 �And remark that I say GOOD�察�

for the port must be up to the occasion ´ not a headache in a pipe 

of it。'



'Really�察�sir��' he said�察�smiling a little�察�'you have a way of 

carrying things ´ '



'Will nothing make you stick to the subject��' I cried�察�'you have 

the most irrelevant mind�  �How do you expect to rise in your 

profession�拭 �The inn��'



'Well�察�I will say you are a facetious gentleman��' said he。  'You 

must have your way�察�I see。  We are not three miles from Bedford by 

this very road。'



'Done��' cried I。  'Bedford be it��'



I tucked his arm under mine�察�possessed myself of the valise�察�and 

walked him off unresisting。  Presently we came to an open piece of 

country lying a thought downhill。  The road was smooth and free of 

ice�察�the moonshine thin and bright over the meadows and the 

leafless trees。  I was now honestly done with the purgatory of the 

covered cart�察�I was close to my great´uncle's�察�I had no more fear 

of Mr。 Dudgeon�察�which were all grounds enough for jollity。  And I 

was aware�察�besides�察�of us two as of a pair of tiny and solitary 

dolls under the vast frosty cupola of the midnight�察�the rooms 

decked�察�the moon burnished�察�the least of the stars lighted�察�the 

floor swept and waxed�察�and nothing wanting but for the band to 

strike up and the dancing to begin。  In the exhilaration of my 

heart I took the music on myself ´





'Merrily danced the Quaker's wife��

And merrily danced the Quaker。'





I broke into that animated and appropriate air�察�clapped my arm 

about Dudgeon's waist�察�and away down the hill at a dancing step�  �

He hung back a little at the start�察�but the impulse of the tune�察�

the night�察�and my example�察�were not to be resisted。  A man made of 

putty must have danced�察�and even Dudgeon showed himself to be a 

human being。  Higher and higher were the capers that we cut�察�the 

moon repeated in shadow our antic footsteps and gestures�察�and it 

came over my mind of a sudden ´ really like balm ´ what appearance 

of man I was dancing with�察�what a long bilious countenance he had 

shown under his shaven pate�察�and what a world of trouble the rascal 

had given me in the immediate past。



Presently we began to see the lights of Bedford。  My Puritanic 

companion stopped and disengaged himself。



'This is a trifle INFRA DIG。�察�sir�察�is it not��' said he。  'A party 

might suppose we had been drinking。'



'And so you shall be�察�Dudgeon��' said I。  'You shall not only be 

drinking�察�you old hypocrite�察�but you shall be drunk ´ dead drunk�察�

sir ´ and the boots shall put you to bed�  �We'll warn him when we 

go in。  Never neglect a precaution�察�never put off till to´morrow 

what you can do to´day��'



But he had no more frivolity to complain of。  We finished our stage 

and came to the inn´door with decorum�察�to find the house still 

alight and in a bustle with many late arrivals�察�to give our orders 

with a prompt severity which ensured obedience�察�and to be served 

soon after at a side´table�察�close to the fire and in a blaze of 

candle´light�察�with such a meal as I had been dreaming of for days 

past。  For days�察�you are to remember�察�I had been skulking in the 

covered cart�察�a prey to cold�察�hunger�察�and an accumulation of 

discomforts that might have daunted the most brave�察�and the white 

table napery�察�the bright crystal�察�the reverberation of the fire�察�

the red curtains�察�the Turkey carpet�察�the portraits on the coffee´

room wall�察�the placid faces of the two or three late guests who 

were silently prolonging the pleasures of digestion�察�and ��last�察�but 

not by any means least�� a glass of an excellent light dry port�察�put 

me in a humour only to be described as heavenly。  The thought of 

the Colonel�察�of how he would have enjoyed this snug room and 

roaring fire�察�and of his cold grave in the wood by Market

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