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truth�察�these country folks did not give themselves the pains�察�and 

had scarce the knowledge�察�to be critical。



About nine or ten at night the pains of hunger and cold drove us to 

an alehouse in the flats of Bedfordshire�察�not far from Bedford 

itself。  In the inn kitchen was a long�察�lean�察�characteristic´

looking fellow of perhaps forty�察�dressed in black。  He sat on a 

settle by the fireside�察�smoking a long pipe�察�such as they call a 

yard of clay。  His hat and wig were hanged upon the knob behind 

him�察�his head as bald as a bladder of lard�察�and his expression very 

shrewd�察�cantankerous�察�and inquisitive。  He seemed to value himself 

above his company�察�to give himself the airs of a man of the world 

among that rustic herd�察�which was often no more than his due�察�

being�察�as I afterwards discovered�察�an attorney's clerk。  I took 

upon myself the more ungrateful part of arriving last�察�and by the 

time I entered on the scene the Major was already served at a side 

table。  Some general conversation must have passed�察�and I smelled 

danger in the air。  The Major looked flustered�察�the attorney's 

clerk triumphant�察�and three or four peasants in smock´frocks ��who 

sat about the fire to play chorus�� had let their pipes go out。



'Give you good evening�察�sir��' said the attorney's clerk to me。



'The same to you�察�sir��' said I。



'I think this one will do��' quoth the clerk to the yokels with a 

wink�察�and then�察�as soon as I had given my order�察�'Pray�察�sir�察�

whither are you bound��' he added。



'Sir��' said I�察�'I am not one of those who speak either of their 

business or their destination in houses of public entertainment。'



'A good answer��' said he�察�'and an excellent principle。  Sir�察�do you 

speak French��'



'Why�察�no�察�sir��' said I。  'A little Spanish at your service。'



'But you know the French accent�察�perhaps��' said the clerk。



'Well do I do that��' said I。 'The French accent�拭 �Why�察�I believe I 

can tell a Frenchman in ten words。'



'Here is a puzzle for you�察�then��' he said。  'I have no material 

doubt myself�察�but some of these gentlemen are more backward。  The 

lack of education�察�you know。  I make bold to say that a man cannot 

walk�察�cannot hear�察�and cannot see�察�without the blessings of 

education。'



He turned to the Major�察�whose food plainly stuck in his throat。



'Now�察�sir��' pursued the clerk�察�'let me have the pleasure to hear 

your voice again。  Where are you going�察�did you say��'



'Sare�察�I am go´ing to Lon´don��' said the Major。



I could have flung my plate at him to be such an ass�察�and to have 

so little a gift of languages where that was the essential。



'What think ye of that��' said the clerk。  'Is that French enough��'



'Good God��' cried I�察�leaping up like one who should suddenly 

perceive an acquaintance�察�'is this you�察�Mr。 Dubois�拭 �Why�察�who would 

have dreamed of encountering you so far from home��'  As I spoke�察�I 

shook hands with the Major heartily�察�and turning to our tormentor�察�

'Oh�察�sir�察�you may be perfectly reassured�  �This is a very honest 

fellow�察�a late neighbour of mine in the city of Carlisle。'



I thought the attorney looked put out�察�I little knew the man��



'But he is French��' said he�察�'for all that��'



'Ay�察�to be sure��' said I。  'A Frenchman of the emigration�  �None of 

your Buonaparte lot。  I will warrant his views of politics to be as 

sound as your own。'



'What is a little strange��' said the clerk quietly�察�'is that Mr。 

Dubois should deny it。'



I got it fair in the face�察�and took it smiling�察�but the shock was 

rude�察�and in the course of the next words I contrived to do what I 

have rarely done�察�and make a slip in my English。  I kept my liberty 

and life by my proficiency all these months�察�and for once that I 

failed�察�it is not to be supposed that I would make a public 

exhibition of the details。  Enough�察�that it was a very little 

error�察�and one that might have passed ninety´nine times in a 

hundred。  But my limb of the law was as swift to pick it up as 

though he had been by trade a master of languages。



'Aha��' cries he�察�'and you are French�察�too�  �Your tongue bewrays 

you。  Two Frenchmen coming into an alehouse�察�severally and 

accidentally�察�not knowing each other�察�at ten of the clock at night�察�

in the middle of Bedfordshire�拭 �No�察�sir�察�that shall not pass�  �You 

are all prisoners escaping�察�if you are nothing worse。  Consider 

yourselves under arrest。  I have to trouble you for your papers。'



'Where is your warrant�察�if you come to that��' said I。  'My papers�  �

A likely thing that I would show my papers on the IPSE DIXIT of an 

unknown fellow in a hedge alehouse��'



'Would you resist the law��' says he。



'Not the law�察�sir��' said I。  'I hope I am too good a subject for 

that。  But for a nameless fellow with a bald head and a pair of 

gingham small´clothes�察�why certainly�  �'Tis my birthright as an 

Englishman。  Where's MAGNA CHARTA�察�else��'



'We will see about that��' says he�察�and then�察�addressing the 

assistants�察�'where does the constable live��'



'Lord love you�察�sir��' cried the landlord�察�'what are you thinking 

of�拭 �The constable at past ten at night�  �Why�察�he's abed and 

asleep�察�and good and drunk two hours agone��'



'Ah that a' be��' came in chorus from the yokels。



The attorney's clerk was put to a stand。  He could not think of 

force�察�there was little sign of martial ardour about the landlord�察�

and the peasants were indifferent ´ they only listened�察�and gaped�察�

and now scratched a head�察�and now would get a light to their pipes 

from the embers on the hearth。  On the other hand�察�the Major and I 

put a bold front on the business and defied him�察�not without some 

ground of law。  In this state of matters he proposed I should go 

along with him to one Squire Merton�察�a great man of the 

neighbourhood�察�who was in the commission of the peace�察�the end of 

his avenue but three lanes away。  I told him I would not stir a 

foot for him if it were to save his soul。  Next he proposed I 

should stay all night where I was�察�and the constable could see to 

my affair in the morning�察�when he was sober。  I replied I should go 

when and where I pleased�察�that we were lawful travellers in the 

fear of God and the king�察�and I for one would suffer myself to be 

stayed by nobody。  At the same time�察�I was thinking the matter had 

lasted altogether too long�察�and I determined to bring it to an end 

at once。



'See here��' said I�察�getting up�察�for till now I had remained 

carelessly seated�察�'there's only one way to decide a thing like 

this ´ only one way that's right ENGLISH ´ and that's man to man。  

Take off your coat�察�sir�察�and these gentlemen shall see fair play。'  

At this there came a look in his eye that I could not mistake。  His 

education had been neglected in one essential and eminently British 

particular�此�he could not box。  No more could I�察�you may say�察�but 

then I had the more impudence ´ and I had made the proposal。



'He says I'm no Englishman�察�but the proof of the pudding is the 

eating of it��' I continued。  And here I stripped my coat and fell 

into the proper attitude�察�which was just about all I knew of this 

barbarian art。  'Why�察�sir�察�you seem to me to hang back a little��' 

said I。  'Come�察�I'll meet you�察�I'll give you an appetiser ´ though 

hang me if I can understand the man that wants any enticement to 

hold up his hands。'  I drew a bank´note out of my fob and tossed it 

to the landlord。  'There are the stakes��' said I。  'I'll fight you 

for first blood�察�since you seem to make so much work about it。  If 

you tap my claret first�察�there are five guineas for you�察�and I'll 

go with you to any squire you choose to mention。  If I tap yours�察�

you'll perhaps let on that I'm the better man�察�and allow me to go 

about my lawful business at my own time and convenience�察�by God�察�is 

that fair�察�my lads��' says I�察�appealing to the company。



'Ay�察�ay��' said the chorus of chawbacons�察�'he can't say no fairer 

nor that�察�he can't。  Take off thy coat master��'



The limb of the law was now on the wrong side of public opinion�察�

and�察�what heartened me to go on�察�the position was rapidly changing 

in our favour。  Already the Major was paying his shot to the very 

indifferent landlord�察�and I could see the white face of King at the 

back´door�察�making signals of haste。



'Oho��' quoth my enemy�察�'you are as full of doubles as a fox�察�are 

you not�拭 �But I see through you�察�I see through and through you。  

You would change the venue�察�would you��'



'I may be transparent�察�sir��' says I�察�'but if you'll do me the 

favour to stand up�察�you'll find I can hit dam hard。'



'Which is a point�察�if you will observe�察�that I had never called in 

question��' said he。  'Why�察�you ignorant clowns��' he proceeded�察�

addressing the company�察�'can't you see the fellow's gulling you 

before your eyes�拭 �Can't you see that he has changed the point upon 

me�拭 �I say he's a French prisoner�察�and he answers that he can box��

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