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     CARE。      Where are the women�拭         �I'm weary of guzzling�察�and begin to 

think them the better company。 

    MEL。      Then thy reason staggers�察�and thou'rt almost drunk。 

     CARE。      No�察  �faith�察  �but   your   fools   grow   noisy�察  �and   if   a   man   must 

endure   the   noise   of   words   without   sense�察  �I   think   the   women   have   more 

musical voices�察�and become nonsense better。 

    MEL。      Why�察�they are at the end of the gallery�察�retired to their tea and 

scandal�察  �according   to   their   ancient   custom�察  �after   dinner。 But   I   made   a 

pretence to follow you�察�because I had something to say to you in private�察�

and I am not like to have many opportunities this evening。 

     CARE。      And   here's   this   coxcomb   most   critically   come   to   interrupt 

you。 



                                     SCENE II。 



       ��To them�А�BRISK。 

    BRISK。       Boys�察   �boys�察  �lads�察 �where    are  you�拭   �What�察   �do   you   give 

ground�拭  �Mortgage   for   a   bottle�察  �ha�拭 �Careless�察  �this   is   your   trick�察  �you're 

always spoiling company by leaving it。 

     CARE。      And thou art always spoiling company by coming in o't。 

    BRISK。       Pooh�察�ha�察�ha�察�ha�察�I know you envy me。           Spite�察�proud spite�察�

by   the   gods�   �and   burning   envy。 I'll   be   judged   by   Mellefont   here�察  �who 



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gives and takes raillery better than you or I。          Pshaw�察�man�察�when I say you 

spoil company by leaving it�察�I mean you leave nobody for the company to 

laugh at。    I think there I was with you。        Ha�察�Mellefont�拭�

     MEL。      O' my word�察�Brisk�察�that was a home thrust�察�you have silenced 

him。 

     BRISK。      Oh�察�my dear Mellefont�察�let me perish if thou art not the soul 

of conversation�察�the very essence of wit and spirit of wine。 The deuce take 

me   if   there   were   three   good   things   said�察  �or   one   understood�察  �since   thy 

amputation   from   the   body   of   our   society。   He�察  �I   think   that's   pretty   and 

metaphorical enough�察  �i'gad   I   could not   have said it out of   thy  company。 

Careless�察�ha�拭�

     CARE。      Hum�察�ay�察�what is't�拭�

     BRISK。      O   MON   COEUR�          �What   is't�    �Nay�察  �gad�察  �I'll   punish   you 

for want of apprehension。         The deuce take me if I tell you。 

     MEL。      No�察�no�察�hang him�察 �he has no taste。           But�察�dear Brisk�察 �excuse 

me�察�I have a little business。 

     CARE。      Prithee get thee gone�察�thou seest we are serious。 

     MEL。      We'll come immediately�察�if you'll but go in and keep up good 

humour and sense in the company。            Prithee do�察�they'll fall asleep else。 

     BRISK。      I'gad�察  �so   they   will。  Well�察   �I  will�察 �I  will�察 �gad�察 �you  shall 

command me from the Zenith to the Nadir。                 But the deuce take me if I 

say   a   good   thing   till   you   come。 But   prithee�察  �dear   rogue�察  �make   haste�察�

prithee make haste�察�I shall burst else。          And yonder your uncle�察�my Lord 

Touchwood�察�swears   he'll   disinherit   you�察 �and Sir   Paul  Plyant   threatens to 

disclaim   you   for   a   son´in´law�察  �and   my   Lord   Froth   won't   dance   at   your 

wedding       to´morrow�察    �nor�察  �the   deuce    take   me�察   �I  won't    write   your 

Epithalamiumand see what a condition you're like to be brought to。 

     MEL。      Well�察�I'll speak but three words�察�and follow you。 

     BRISK。      Enough�察�enough。         Careless�察�bring your apprehension along 

with you。 



                                      SCENE III。 



       MELLEFONT�察�CARELESS。 

     CARE。      Pert coxcomb。 



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     MEL。      Faith�察�'tis a good´natured coxcomb�察�and has very entertaining 

follies。    You must be more humane to him�察�at this juncture it will do me 

service。     I'll tell you�察�I would have mirth continued this day at any rate�察�

though patience purchase folly�察�and attention be paid with noise�察�there are 

times when sense may be unseasonable as well as truth。                  Prithee do thou 

wear   none   to´day�察  �but   allow   Brisk   to   have   wit�察  �that   thou   may'st   seem   a 

fool。 

     CARE。       Why�察�how now�察�why this extravagant proposition�拭�

     MEL。      Oh�察�I would have no room for serious design�察�for I am jealous 

of    a  plot。    I   would     have   noise    and   impertinence      keep    my    Lady 

Touchwood's   head   from   working�此         �for   hell   is   not   more   busy   than   her 

brain�察�nor contains more devils than that imaginations。 

     CARE。       I thought your fear of her had been over。            Is not to´morrow 

appointed for your marriage with Cynthia�察�and her father�察�Sir Paul Plyant�察�

come to settle the writings this day on purpose�拭�

     MEL。      True�察  �but   you   shall   judge   whether   I   have   not   reason   to   be 

alarmed。      None besides you and Maskwell are acquainted with the secret 

of my Aunt Touchwood's violent passion for me。                  Since my first refusal 

of her addresses she has endeavoured to do me all ill offices with my uncle�察�

yet   has   managed   'em  with   that   subtilty�察 �that   to   him  they  have   borne   the 

face of kindness�察�while her malice�察�like a dark lanthorn�察�only shone upon 

me where it was directed。          Still�察�it gave me less perplexity to prevent the 

success of her displeasure than to avoid the importunities of her love�察�and 

of   two   evils   I   thought   myself   favoured   in   her   aversion。   But   whether 

urged by her despair and the short prospect of time she saw to accomplish 

her designs�察�whether the hopes of revenge�察�or of her love�察�terminated in 

the view of this my marriage with Cynthia�察�I know not�察�but this morning 

she surprised me in my bed。 

     CARE。       Was there ever such a fury�          �'Tis well nature has not put it 

into her sex's power to ravish。        Well�察�bless us�察�proceed。        What followed�拭�

     MEL。      What at first amazed mefor I looked to have seen her in all 

the transports of a slighted   and revengeful womanbut when I   expected 

thunder from her voice�察�and lightning in her eyes�察�I saw her melted into 

tears   and   hushed   into   a   sigh。  It   was   long   before   either   of   us   spoke�此�



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passion     had   tied   her   tongue�察   �and   amazement       mine。     In   short�察  �the 

consequence   was   thus�察  �she   omitted   nothing   that   the   most   violent   love 

could urge�察�or tender words express�察�which when she saw had no effect�察�

but still I pleaded honour and nearness of blood to my uncle�察�then came 

the storm I feared at first�察�for�察�starting from my bed´side like a fury�察�she 

flew to my sword�察�and with much ado I prevented her doing me or herself 

a mischief。 Having disarmed her�察�in a gust of passion she left me�察�and in a 

resolution�察�confirmed by a thousand curses�察�not to close her eyes till they 

had seen my ruin。 

     CARE。       Exquisite woman�         �But what the devil�察�does she think thou 

hast no more sense than to get an heir upon her body to disinherit thyself�拭�

for as I take it this settlement upon you is�察�with a proviso�察�that your uncle 

have no children。 

     MEL。      It is so。   Well�察�the service you are to do me will be a pleasure 

to yourself�此    �I must get you to engage my Lady Plyant all this evening�察�

that my pious aunt may not work her to her interest。 And if you chance to 

secure her to yourself�察�you may incline her to mine。              She's handsome�察�and 

knows   it�察  �is   very   silly�察  �and   thinks   she   has   sense�察  �and   has   an   old   fond 

husband。 

     CARE。       I confess�察�a very fair foundation for a lover to build upon。 

     MEL。      For my Lord Froth�察�he and his wife will be sufficiently taken 

up   with   admiring   one   another   and   Brisk's   gallantry�察  �as   they   call   it。   I'll 

observe my uncle myself�察�and Jack Maskwell has promised me to watch 

my   aunt   narrowly�察  �and   give   me   notice   upon   any   suspicion。    As   for   Sir 

Paul�察�my wise father´in´law that is to be�察�my dear Cynthia has such a share 

in his fatherly  fondness�察�he would   scarce make her   a moment uneasy  to 

have her happy hereafter。 

     CARE。       So   you   have   manned   your   works�察  �but   I   wish   you   may   not 

have the weakest guard where the enemy is strongest。 

     MEL。      Maskwell�察�you mean�察�prithee why should you suspect him�拭�

     CARE。       Faith I cannot help it�察�you know I never liked him�此              �I am a 

little superstitious in physiognomy。 

     MEL。 

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