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��Cries。�А�

     CARE。       Why�察  �methinks   that   might   be   easily  remediedmy   lady's   a 

fine likely woman ´ 

     SIR PAUL。        Oh�察�a fine likely woman as you shall see in a summer's 

day。    Indeed she is�察�Mr。 Careless�察�in all respects。 

     CARE。      And I should not have taken you to have been so old ´ 

     SIR PAUL。        Alas�察�that's not it�察�Mr。 Careless�察�ah� �that's not it�察�no�察�no�察�

you   shoot   wide   of   the   mark   a   mile�察  �indeed   you   do�察  �that's   not   it�察  �Mr。 

Careless�察�no�察�no�察�that's not it。 

     CARE。       No�拭    �What can be the matter then�拭�

     SIR PAUL。        You'll scarcely believe me when I shall tell youmy lady 

is so nice。    It's very strange�察�but it's true�察�too trueshe's so very nice�察�that 

I don't believe she would touch a man for the world。 At least not above 

once a year�察�I'm sure I have found it so�察�and�察�alas�察�what's once a year to an 

old   man�察  �who   would   do   good   in   his   generation�拭   �Indeed   it's   true�察  �Mr。 

Careless�察�it breaks my heart。         I am her husband�察�as I may say�察�though far 

unworthy of that honour�察�yet I am her husband�察�but alas´a´day�察�I have no 

more   familiarity   with   her   personas   to   that   matterthan   with   my   own 

motherno indeed。 

     CARE。      Alas´a´day�察�this is a lamentable story。          My lady must be told 

on't。   She must i'faith�察�Sir Paul�察�'tis an injury to the world。 

     SIR PAUL。        Ah� �would to heaven you would�察�Mr。 Careless�察�you are 

mightily in her favour。 

     CARE。       I warrant you�察�what� �we must have a son some way or other。 

     SIR PAUL。        Indeed I should be mightily bound to you if you could 

bring it about�察�Mr。 Careless。 

     LADY  PLYANT。           Here�察  �Sir   Paul�察  �it's   from   your   steward。 Here's   a 

return   of   600   pounds�察  �you   may   take   fifty   of   it   for   the   next   half   year。 

��Gives him the letter。�А�



                                      SCENE IX。 



       ��To them�А�LORD FROTH�察�CYNTHIA。 

     SIR   PAUL。      How   does   my   girl�拭    �Come   hither   to   thy   father�察  �poor 



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lamb�此�thou'rt melancholic。 

    LORD FROTH。           Heaven�察�Sir Paul�察�you amaze me�察�of all things in the 

world。     You are never pleased but when we are all upon the broad grin�此�

all   laugh   and   no   company�察  �ah�察  �then   'tis   such   a   sight   to   see   some   teeth。 

Sure    you're   a  great  admirer   of  my   Lady   Whifler�察   �Mr。  Sneer�察  �and   Sir 

Laurence Loud�察�and that gang。 

     SIR PAUL。       I vow and swear she's a very merry woman�察�but I think 

she laughs a little too much。 

    LORD       FROTH。      Merry�      �O   Lord�察  �what   a  character   that  is  of  a 

woman of   quality。      You   have been   at   my  Lady Whifler's   upon her day�察�

madam�拭�

    CYNT。       Yes�察�my lord。     I must humour this fool。       ��Aside。�А�

    LORD   FROTH。          Well�察  �and   how�拭  �hee�   �What   is   your   sense   of   the 

conversation�拭�

    CYNT。       Oh�察�most ridiculous�察�a perpetual comfort of laughing without 

any harmony�察�for sure�察�my lord�察�to laugh out of time�察�is as disagreeable as 

to sing out of time or out of tune。 

    LORD FROTH。           Hee�察�hee�察�hee�察�right�察�and then�察�my Lady Whifler is 

so readyshe always comes in three bars too soon。               And then�察�what do 

they laugh at�拭     �For you know laughing without a jest is as impertinent�察�

hee� �as�察�as ´ 

    CYNT。       As dancing without a fiddle。 

    LORD FROTH。           Just i'faith�察�that was at my tongue's end。 

    CYNT。       But that cannot be properly said of them�察�for I think they are 

all in good nature with the world�察�and only laugh at one another�察�and you 

must allow they have all jests in their persons�察�though they have none in 

their conversation。 

    LORD FROTH。           True�察�as I'm a person of honour。        For heaven's sake 

let  us   sacrifice  'em   to  mirth  a  little。 ��Enter   BOY   and     whispers   SIR 

PAUL。�А�

     SIR PAUL。       Gads so。Wife�察�wife�察�my Lady Plyant�察�I have a word。 

    LADY PLYANT。           I'm busy�察�Sir Paul�察�I wonder at your impertinence。 

    CARE。        Sir   Paul�察  �harkee�察  �I'm   reasoning    the  matter    you   know。 

Madam�察�if your ladyship please�察�we'll discourse of this in the next room。 



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     SIR PAUL。       O ho�察�I wish you good success�察�I wish you good success。 

Boy�察�tell my lady�察�when she has done�察�I would speak with her below。 



                                     SCENE X。 



       CYNTHIA�察       �LORD     FROTH�察      �LADY     FROTH�察      �BRISK。      LADY 

FROTH。       Then   you think   that episode between Susan�察 �the dairy´   maid�察�

and   our   coachman   is   not   amiss�察  �you   know�察  �I   may   suppose   the   dairy   in 

town�察�as well as in the country。 

    BRISK。       Incomparable�察     �let   me   perish。 But   then�察  �being   an  heroic 

poem�察�had you not better call him a charioteer�拭          �Charioteer sounds great�察�

besides�察�your ladyship's coachman having a red face�察�and you comparing 

him to the sunand you know the sun is called Heaven's charioteer。 

    LADY FROTH。           Oh�察�infinitely better�察�I'm extremely beholden to you 

for the hint�察�stay�察�we'll read over those half a score lines again。 ��Pulls out a 

paper。�А   �Let me see here�察�you know what goes before�察�the comparison�察�

you know。      ��Reads。�А�

       For as the sun shines ev'ry day�察�So of our coachman I may say。 

       BRISK。     I'm afraid that simile won't do in wet weather�察�because you 

say the sun shines every day。 

    LADY   FROTH。          No�察   �for  the  sun  it  won't�察 �but  it  will  do  for  the 

coachman�察�for you know there's most occasion for a coach in wet weather。 

    BRISK。       Right�察�right�察�that saves all。 

    LADY FROTH。           Then I don't say the sun shines all the day�察�but that 

he   peeps   now   and   then�察  �yet   he   does   shine   all   the   day   too�察  �you   know�察�

though we don't see him。 

    BRISK。       Right�察�but the vulgar will never comprehend that。 

    LADY FROTH。           Well�察�you shall hear。      Let me see。     ��Reads。�А�

       For as the sun shines ev'ry day�察�So of our coachman I may say�察�He 

shows his drunken fiery face�察�Just as the sun does�察�more or less。 

       BRISK。     That's right�察�all's well�察�all's well。   'More or less。' 

    LADY FROTH reads�此�

       And    when    at  night  his   labour's   done�察  �Then    too�察 �like  Heav'n's 

charioteer the sun�此�

       Ay�察�charioteer does better。 



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       Into   the   dairy  he   descends�察�And   there his   whipping   and his   driving 

ends�察�There he's secure from danger of a bilk�察�His fare is paid him�察�and he 

sets in milk。 

       For Susan you know�察�is Thetis�察�and so ´ 

     BRISK。       Incomparable       well   and   proper�察  �egadbut    I  have    one 

exception   to   makedon't   you   think   bilk��I   know   it's   good   rhyme��but 

don't you think BILK and FARE too like a hackney coachman�拭�

     LADY FROTH。           I swear and vow I'm afraid so。          And yet our Jehu 

was a hackney coachman�察�when my lord took him。 

     BRISK。      Was he�拭     �I'm answered�察�if Jehu was a hackney coachman。 

You may put that in the marginal notes though�察�to prevent criticism only 

mark   it   with   a   small   asterism�察  �and   say�察  �'Jehu   was   formerly   a   hackney 

coachman。' 

     LADY FROTH。          I will。   You'd oblige me extremely to write notes to 

the whole poem。 

     BRISK。      With all my heart and soul�察�and proud of the vast honour�察�let 

me perish。 

     LORD FROTH。           Hee�察�hee�察�hee�察�my dear�察�have you done�拭�won't you 

join with us�拭    �We were laughing at my Lady Whifler and Mr。 Sneer。 

     LADY FROTH。           Ay�察�my dear�察�were you�拭       �Oh�察�filthy Mr。 Sneer�察�he's 

a nauseous figure�察�a most fulsamic fop�察�foh�           �He spent two days together 

in   going   about   Covent   Garden   to   suit   the   lining   of   his   coach   with   his 

complexion。 

     LORD FROTH。           O silly� �yet his aunt is as fond of him as if she had 

brought the ape into the world herself。 

     BRISK。      Who�察�my Lady Toothless�拭         �Oh�察�she's a mortifying spectacle�察�

she's always chewing the cud like an old ewe。 

     CYNT。      Fie�察�Mr。 Brisk�察�eringo's for her cough。 

     LADY   FROTH。         I   have   seen   her   take   'em   half   chewed   out   of   her 

mouth�察�to laugh�察�and then put 'em in again。          Foh� �

     LORD FROTH。          Foh� �

     LADY FROTH。           Then she's always ready to laugh when S

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