stories by modern american authors-第61节

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loaded　me　with　all　outrageous　epithets。　　He　has　ranked　me　with

prostitutes　and　thieves。　　I　cannot　pardon　thee；　Pleyel；　for　this

injustice。　　Thy　understanding　must　be　hurt。　　If　it　be　not；if　thy

conduct　was　sober　and　deliberate；I　can　never　forgive　an　outrage

so　unmanly　and　so　gross。



These　thoughts　gradually　gave　place　to　others。　　Pleyel　was

possessed　by　some　momentary　frenzy；　appearances　had　led　him　into

palpable　errors。　　Whence　could　his　sagacity　have　contracted　this

blindness？　　Was　it　not　love？　　Previously　assured　of　my　affection

for　Carwin；　distracted　with　grief　and　jealousy；　and　impelled　hither

at　that　late　hour　by　some　unknown　instigation；　his　imagination

transformed　shadows　into　monsters；　and　plunged　him　into　these

deplorable　errors。



This　idea　was　not　unattended　with　consolation。　　My　soul　was　divided

between　indignation　at　his　injustice　and　delight　on　account　of　the

source　from　which　I　conceived　it　to　spring。　　For　a　long　time　they

would　allow　admission　to　no　other　thoughts。　　Surprise　is　an　emotion

that　enfeebles；　not　invigorates。　　All　my　meditations　were

accompanied　with　wonder。　　I　rambled　with　vagueness；　or　clung　to　one

image　with　an　obstinacy　which　sufficiently　testified　the　maddening

influence　of　late　transactions。



Gradually　I　proceeded　to　reflect　upon　the　consequences　of　Pleyel's

mistake；　and　on　the　measures　I　should　take　to　guard　myself　against

future　injury　from　Carwin。　　Should　I　suffer　this　mistake　to　be

detected　by　time？　　When　his　passion　should　subside；　would　he　not

perceive　the　flagrancy　of　his　injustice　and　hasten　to　atone　for　it？

Did　it　not　become　my　character　to　testify　resentment　for　language

and　treatment　so　opprobrious？　　Wrapped　up　in　the　consciousness　of

innocence；　and　confiding　in　the　influence　of　time　and　reflection　to

confute　so　groundless　a　charge；　it　was　my　province　to　be　passive

and　silent。



As　to　the　violences　meditated　by　Carwin；　and　the　means　of　eluding

them；　the　path　to　be　taken　by　me　was　obvious。　　I　resolved　to　tell

the　tale　to　my　brother　and　regulate　myself　by　his　advice。　　For　this

end；　when　the　morning　was　somewhat　advanced；　I　took　the　way　to　his

house。　　My　sister　was　engaged　in　her　customary　occupations。　　As

soon　as　I　appeared；　she　remarked　a　change　in　my　looks。　　I　was　not

willing　to　alarm　her　by　the　information　which　I　had　to　communicate。

Her　health　was　in　that　condition　which　rendered　a　disastrous　tale

particularly　unsuitable。　　I　forbore　a　direct　answer　to　her

inquiries；　and　inquired；　in　my　turn；　for　Wieland。



〃Why；〃　said　she；　〃I　suspect　something　mysterious　and　unpleasant　has

happened　this　morning。　　Scarcely　had　we　risen　when　Pleyel　dropped

among　us。　　What　could　have　prompted　him　to　make　us　so　early　and　so

unseasonable　a　visit　I　cannot　tell。　　To　judge　from　the　disorder　of

his　dress；　and　his　countenance；　something　of　an　extraordinary

nature　has　occurred。　　He　permitted　me　merely　to　know　that　he　had

slept　none；　nor　even　undressed；　during　the　past　night。　　He　took

your　brother　to　walk　with　him。　　Some　topic　must　have　deeply　engaged

them；　for　Wieland　did　not　return　till　the　breakfast　hour　was

passed；　and　returned　alone。　　His　disturbance　was　excessive；　but　he

would　not　listen　to　my　importunities；　or　tell　me　what　had　happened。

I　gathered；　from　hints　which　he　let　fall；　that　your　situation　was

in　some　way　the　cause；　yet　he　assured　me　that　you　were　at　your　own

house；　alive；　in　good　health；　and　in　perfect　safety。　　He　scarcely

ate　a　morsel；　and　immediately　after　breakfast　went　out　again。　　He

would　not　inform　me　whither　he　was　going；　but　mentioned　that　he

probably　might　not　return　before　night。〃



I　was　equally　astonished　and　alarmed　by　this　information。　　Pleyel

had　told　his　tale　to　my　brother；　and　had；　by　a　plausible　and

exaggerated　picture；　instilled　into　him　unfavorable　thoughts　of　me。

Yet　would　not　the　more　correct　judgment　of　Wieland　perceive　and

expose　the　fallacy　of　his　conclusions？　　Perhaps　his　uneasiness

might　arise　from　some　insight　into　the　character　of　Carwin；　and

from　apprehensions　for　my　safety。　　The　appearances　by　which　Pleyel

had　been　misled　might　induce　him　likewise　to　believe　that　I

entertained　an　indiscreet　though　not　dishonorable　affection　for

Carwin。　　Such　were　the　conjectures　rapidly　formed。　　I　was

inexpressibly　anxious　to　change　them　into　certainty。　　For　this　end

an　interview　with　my　brother　was　desirable。　　He　was　gone　no　one

knew　whither；　and　was　not　expected　speedily　to　return。　　I　had　no

clew　by　which　to　trace　his　footsteps。



My　anxieties　could　not　be　concealed　from　my　sister。　　They

heightened　her　solicitude　to　be　acquainted　with　the　cause。　　There

were　many　reasons　persuading　me　to　silence；　at　least；　till　I　had

seen　my　brother；　it　would　be　an　act　of　inexcusable　temerity　to

unfold　what　had　lately　passed。　　No　other　expedient　for　eluding　her

importunities　occurred　to　me　but　that　of　returning　to　my　own　house。

I　recollected　my　determination　to　become　a　tenant　of　this　roof。　　I

mentioned　it　to　her。　　She　joyfully　acceded　to　this　proposal；　and

suffered　me　with　less　reluctance　to　depart　when　I　told　her　that　it

was　with　a　view　to　collect　and　send　to　my　new　dwelling　what

articles　would　be　immediately　useful　to　me。



Once　more　I　returned　to　the　house　which　had　been　the　scene　of　so

much　turbulence　and　danger。　　I　was　at　no　great　distance　from　it

when　I　observed　my　brother　coming　out。　　On　seeing　me　he　stopped；

and；　after　ascertaining；　as　it　seemed；　which　way　I　was　going；　he

returned　into　the　house　before　me。　　I　sincerely　rejoiced　at　this

event；　and　I　hastened　to　set　things；　if　possible；　on　their　right

footing。



His　brow　was　by　no　means　expressive　of　those　vehement　emotions　with

which　Pleyel　had　been　agitated。　　I　drew　a　favorable　omen　from　this

circumstance。　　Without　delay　I　began　the　conversation。



〃I　have　been　to　look　for　you；〃　said　I；　〃but　was　told　by　Catharine

that　Pleyel　had　engaged　you　on　some　important　and　disagreeable

affair。　　Before　his　interview　with　you　he　spent　a　few　minutes　with

me。　　These　minutes　he　employed　in　upbraiding　me　for　crimes　and

intentions　with　which　I　am　by　no　means　chargeable。　　I　believe　him

to　have　taken　up　his　opinions　on　very　insufficient　grounds。　　His

behavior　was　in　the　highest　degree　precipitate　and　unjust；　and；

until　I　receive　some　atonement；　I　shall　treat　him；　in　my　turn；　with

that　contempt　which　he　justly　merits；　meanwhile；　I　am　fearful　that

he　has　prejudiced　my　brother　against　me。　　That　is　an　evil　which　I

most　anxiously　deprecate；　and　which　I　shall　indeed　exert　myself　to

remove。　　Has　he　made　me　the　subject　of　this　morning's　conversation？〃



My　brother's　countenance　testified　no　surprise　at　my　address。　　The

benignity　of　his　looks　was　nowise　diminished。



〃It　is　true；〃　said　he；　〃your　conduct　was　the　subject　of　our

discourse。　　I　am　your　friend　as　well　as　your　brother。　　There　is　no

human　being　whom　I　love　with　more　tenderness　and　whose　welfare　is

nearer　my　heart。　　Judge；　then；　with　what　emotions　I　listened　to

Pleyel's　story。　　I　expect　and　desire　you　to　vindicate　yourself　from

aspersions　so　foul；　if　vindication　be　possible。〃



The　tone　with　which　he　uttered　the　last　words　affected　me　deeply。

〃If　vindication　be　possible！〃　repeated　I。　　〃From　what　you　know；　do

you　deem　a　formal　vindication　necessary？　　Can　you　harbor　for　a

moment　the　belief　of　my　guilt？〃



He　shook　his　head　with　an　air　of　acute　anguish。　　〃I　have

struggled；〃　said　he；　〃to　dismiss　that　belief。　　You　speak　before　a

judge　who　will　profit　by　any　pretense　to　acquit　you　who　is　ready　to

question　his　own　senses　when　they　plead　against　you。〃



These　words　incited　a　new　set　of　thoughts　in　my　mind。　　I　began　to

suspect　that　Pleyel　had　built　his　accusations　on　some　foundation

unknown　to　me。　　〃I　may　be　a　stranger　to　the　grounds　of　your　belief。

Pleyel　loaded　me　with　indecent　and　virulent　invectives；　but　he

withheld　from　me　the　facts　that　generated　his　suspicions。　　Events

took　place　last　night　of　which　some　of　the　circumstances　were　of　an

ambiguous　nature。　　I　conceived　that　these　might　possibly　have

fallen　under　his　cognizance；　and　that；　viewed　through　the　mists　of

prejudice　and　passion；　they　supplied　a　pretense　for　his　conduct；

but　believed　that　your　more　unbiased　judgment　would　estimate　them

at　their　just　value。　　Perhaps　his　tale　has　been　different　from　what

I　suspect　it　to　be。　　Listen；　then；　to　my　narrative。　　If　there　be

anything　in　his　story　inconsistent　with　mine；　his　story　is　false。〃



I　then　proceeded　to　a　circumstantial　relation　of　the　incidents　of

the　last　night。　　Wieland　listened　with　deep　attention。　　Having

finished；　〃This；〃　continued　I；　〃is　the　truth。　　You　see　in　what

circumstances　an　interview　took　place　between　Carwin　and　me。　　He

remained　for　hours　in　my　closet；　and　for　some　minutes　in　my

chamber。　　He　departed　without　haste　or　interruption。　　If　Pleyel

marked　him　as　he　left　the　house；　（and　it　is　not　impossible　that　he

did；）　inferences　injurious　to　my　character