stories by modern american authors-第50节

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seating　myself　at　a　window；　consumed　the　day　in　alternately　looking

out　upon　the　storm　and　gazing　at　the　picture　which　lay　upon　a　table

before　me。　　You　will　perhaps　deem　this　conduct　somewhat　singular；

and　ascribe　it　to　certain　peculiarities　of　temper。　　I　am　not　aware

of　any　such　peculiarities。　　I　can　account　for　my　devotion　to　this

image　no　otherwise　than　by　supposing　that　its　properties　were　rare

and　prodigious。　　Perhaps　you　will　suspect　that　such　were　the　first

inroads　of　a　passion　incident　to　every　female　heart；　and　which

frequently　gains　a　footing　by　means　even　more　slight　and　more

improbable　than　these。　　I　shall　not　controvert　the　reasonableness

of　the　suspicion；　but　leave　you　at　liberty　to　draw　from　my

narrative　what　conclusions　you　please。



Night　at　length　returned；　and　the　storm　ceased。　　The　air　was　once

more　clear　and　calm；　and　bore　an　affecting　contrast　to　that　uproar

of　the　elements　by　which　it　had　been　preceded。　　I　spent　the

darksome　hours；　as　I　spent　the　day；　contemplative　and　seated　at　the

window。　　Why　was　my　mind　absorbed　in　thoughts　ominous　and　dreary？

Why　did　my　bosom　heave　with　sighs　and　my　eyes　overflow　with　tears？

Was　the　tempest　that　had　just　passed　a　signal　of　the　ruin　which

impended　over　me？　　My　soul　fondly　dwelt　upon　the　images　of　my

brother　and　his　children；　yet　they　only　increased　the　mournfulness

of　my　contemplations。　　The　smiles　of　the　charming　babes　were　as

bland　as　formerly。　　The　same　dignity　sat　on　the　brow　of　their

father；　and　yet　I　thought　of　them　with　anguish。　　Something

whispered　that　the　happiness　we　at　present　enjoyed　was　set　on

mutable　foundations。　　Death　must　happen　to　all。　　Whether　our

felicity　was　to　be　subverted　by　it　to…morrow；　or　whether　it　was

ordained　that　we　should　lay　down　our　heads　full　of　years　and　of

honor；　was　a　question　that　no　human　being　could　solve。　　At　other

times　these　ideas　seldom　intruded。　　I　either　forbore　to　reflect

upon　the　destiny　that　is　reserved　for　all　men；　or　the　reflection

was　mixed　up　with　images　that　disrobed　it　of　terror；　but　now　the

uncertainty　of　life　occurred　to　me　without　any　of　its　usual　and

alleviating　accompaniments。　　I　said　to　myself；　We　must　die。　　Sooner

or　later；　we　must　disappear　forever　from　the　face　of　the　earth。

Whatever　be　the　links　that　hold　us　to　life；　they　must　be　broken。

This　scene　of　existence　is；　in　all　its　parts；　calamitous。　　The

greater　number　is　oppressed　with　immediate　evils；　and　those　the

tide　of　whose　fortunes　is　full；　how　small　is　their　portion　of

enjoyment；　since　they　know　that　it　will　terminate！



For　some　time　I　indulged　myself；　without　reluctance；　in　these

gloomy　thoughts；　but　at　length　the　delection　which　they　produced

became　insupportably　painful。　　I　endeavored　to　dissipate　it　with

music。　　I　had　all　my　grandfather's　melody　as　well　as　poetry　by

rote。　　I　now　lighted　by　chance　on　a　ballad　which　commemorated　the

fate　of　a　German　cavalier　who　fell　at　the　siege　of　Nice　under

Godfrey　of　Bouillon。　　My　choice　was　unfortunate；　for　the　scenes　of

violence　and　carnage　which　were　here　wildly　but　forcibly　portrayed

only　suggested　to　my　thoughts　a　new　topic　in　the　horrors　of　war。



I　sought　refuge；　but　ineffectually；　in　sleep。　　My　mind　was　thronged

by　vivid　but　confused　images；　and　no　effort　that　I　made　was

sufficient　to　drive　them　away。　　In　this　situation　I　heard　the

clock；　which　hung　in　the　room；　give　the　signal　for　twelve。　　It　was

the　same　instrument　which　formerly　hung　in　my　father's　chamber；　and

which；　on　account　of　its　being　his　workmanship；　was　regarded　by

everyone　of　our　family　with　veneration。　　It　had　fallen　to　me　in　the

division　of　his　property；　and　was　placed　in　this　asylum。　　The　sound

awakened　a　series　of　reflections　respecting　his　death。　　I　was　not

allowed　to　pursue　them；　for　scarcely　had　the　vibrations　ceased；

when　my　attention　was　attracted　by　a　whisper；　which；　at　first；

appeared　to　proceed　from　lips　that　were　laid　close　to　my　ear。



No　wonder　that　a　circumstance　like　this　startled　me。　　In　the　first

impulse　of　my　terror；　I　uttered　a　slight　scream　and　shrunk　to　the

opposite　side　of　the　bed。　　In　a　moment；　however；　I　recovered　from

my　trepidation。　　I　was　habitually　indifferent　to　all　the　causes　of

fear　by　which　the　majority　are　afflicted。　　I　entertained　no

apprehension　of　either　ghosts　or　robbers。　　Our　security　had　never

been　molested　by　either；　and　I　made　use　of　no　means　to　prevent　or

counterwork　their　machinations。　　My　tranquillity　on　this　occasion

was　quickly　retrieved。　　The　whisper　evidently　proceeded　from　one

who　was　posted　at　my　bedside。　　The　first　idea　that　suggested　itself

was　that　it　was　uttered　by　the　girl　who　lived　with　me　as　a　servant。

Perhaps　somewhat　had　alarmed　her；　or　she　was　sick；　and　had　come　to

request　my　assistance。　　By　whispering　in　my　ear　she　intended　to

rouse　without　alarming　me。



Full　of　this　persuasion；　I　called；　〃Judith；　is　it　you？　　What　do　you

want？　　Is　there　anything　the　matter　with　you？〃　　No　answer　was

returned。　　I　repeated　my　inquiry；　but　equally　in　vain。　　Cloudy　as

was　the　atmosphere；　and　curtained　as　my　bed　was；　nothing　was

visible。　　I　withdrew　the　curtain；　and；　leaning　my　head　on　my　elbow；

I　listened　with　the　deepest　attention　to　catch　some　new　sound。

Meanwhile；　I　ran　over　in　my　thoughts　every　circumstance　that　could

assist　my　conjectures。



My　habitation　was　a　wooden　edifice；　consisting　of　two　stories。　　In

each　story　were　two　rooms；　separated　by　an　entry；　or　middle

passage；　with　which　they　communicated　by　opposite　doors。　　The

passage　on　the　lower　story　had　doors　at　the　two　ends；　and　a

staircase。　　Windows　answered　to　the　doors　on　the　upper　story。

Annexed　to　this；　on　the　eastern　side；　were　wings；　divided　in　like

manner　into　an　upper　and　lower　room；　one　of　them　comprised　a

kitchen；　and　chamber　above　it　for　the　servant；　and　communicated　on

both　stories　with　the　parlor　adjoining　it　below　and　the　chamber

adjoining　it　above。　　The　opposite　wing　is　of　smaller　dimensions；

the　rooms　not　being　above　eight　feet　square。　　The　lower　of　these

was　used　as　a　depository　of　household　implements；　the　upper　was　a

closet　in　which　I　deposited　my　books　and　papers。　　They　had　but　one

inlet；　which　was　from　the　room　adjoining。　　There　was　no　window　in

the　lower　one；　and　in　the　upper　a　small　aperture　which　communicated

light　and　air；　but　would　scarcely　admit　the　body。　　The　door　which

led　into　this　was　close　to　my　bed　head；　and　was　always　locked　but

when　I　myself　was　within。　　The　avenues　below　were　accustomed　to　be

closed　and　bolted　at　nights。



The　maid　was　my　only　companion；　and　she　could　not　reach　my　chamber

without　previously　passing　through　the　opposite　chamber　and　the

middle　passage；　of　which；　however；　the　doors　were　usually

unfastened。　　If　she　had　occasioned　this　noise；　she　would　have

answered　my　repeated　calls。　　No　other　conclusion；　therefore；　was

left　me；　but　that　I　had　mistaken　the　sounds；　and　that　my

imagination　had　transformed　some　casual　noise　into　the　voice　of　a

human　creature。　　Satisfied　with　this　solution；　I　was　preparing　to

relinquish　my　listening　attitude；　when　my　ear　was　again　saluted

with　a　new　and　yet　louder　whispering。　　It　appeared；　as　before；　to

issue　from　lips　that　touched　my　pillow。　　A　second　effort　of

attention；　however；　clearly　showed　me　that　the　sounds　issued　from

within　the　closet；　the　door　of　which　was　not　more　than　eight　inches

from　my　pillow。



This　second　interruption　occasioned　a　shock　less　vehement　than　the

former。　　I　started；　but　gave　no　audible　token　of　alarm。　　I　was　so

much　mistress　of　my　feelings　as　to　continue　listening　to　what

should　be　said。　　The　whisper　was　distinct；　hoarse；　and　uttered　so

as　to　show　that　the　speaker　was　desirous　of　being　heard　by　some　one

near；　but；　at　the　same　time；　studious　to　avoid　being　overheard　by

any　other：



〃Stop！　stop；　I　say；　madman　as　you　are！　there　are　better　means　than

that。　　Curse　upon　your　rashness！　　There　is　no　need　to　shoot。〃



Such　were　the　words　uttered；　in　a　tone　of　eagerness　and　anger；

within　so　small　a　distance　of　my　pillow。　　What　construction　could　I

put　upon　them？　　My　heart　began　to　palpitate　with　dread　of　some

unknown　danger。　　Presently；　another　voice；　but　equally　near　me；　was

heard　whispering　in　answer；　〃Why　not？　　I　will　draw　a　trigger　in

this　business；　but　perdition　be　my　lot　if　I　do　more！〃　　To　this　the

first　voice　returned；　in　a　tone　which　rage　had　heightened　in　a

small　degree　above　a　whisper；　〃Coward！　stand　aside；　and　see　me　do

it。　　I　will　grasp　her　throat；　I　will　do　her　business　in　an　instant；

she　shall　not　have　time　so　much　as　to　groan。〃　　What　wonder　that　I

was　petrified　by　sounds　so　dreadful！　　Murderers　lurked　in　my

closet。　　They　were　planning　the　means　of　my　destruction。　　One

resolved　to　shoot；　and　the　other　menaced　suffocation。　　Their　means

being　chosen；　they　would　forthwith　break　the　door。　　Flight

instantly　suggested　itself　as　most　eligible　in　circumstances　so

perilous。　　I　deliberated　not　a　moment；　but；　fea