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Phoebus� �Hail� �thou blessed son of Leto。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Oh� �ye venerable Genetyllides�察�what tender and voluptuous songs��

They surpass the most lascivious kisses in sweetness�察�I feel a

thrill of delight pass up me as I listen to them。 ��To EURIPIDES�� Young

man�察�if you are one�察�answer my questions�察�which I am borrowing from

Aeschylus' ;Lycurgeia。; Whence comes this androgyne�拭�What is his

country�拭�his dress�拭�What contradictions his life shows� �A lyre and a

hair´net� �A wrestling school oil flask and a girdle� �What could be

more contradictory�拭�What relation has a mirror to a sword�拭。�To

AGATHON�� And you yourself�察�who are you�拭�Do you pretend to be a man��

Where is your tool�察�pray�拭�Where is the cloak�察�the footgear that belong

to that sex�拭�Are you a woman�拭�Then where are your breasts�拭�Answer

me。 But you keep silent。 Oh� �just as you choose�察�your songs display

your character quite sufficiently。

  AGATHON

    Old man�察�old man�察�I hear the shafts of jealousy whistling by my

ears�察�but they do not hit me。 My dress is in harmony with my thoughts。

A poet must adopt the nature of his characters。 Thus�察�if he is placing

women on the stage�察�he must contract all their habits in his own

person。

  MNESILOCHUS ��aside��

    Then you make love horse´fashion when you are composing a Phaedra。

  AGATHON

    If the heroes are men�察�everything in him will be manly。 What we

don't possess by nature�察�we must acquire by imitation。

  MNESILOCHUS ��aside��

    When you are staging Satyrs�察�call me�察�I will do my best to help

you from behind�察�if I can get my tool up。

  AGATHON

    Besides�察�it is bad taste for a poet to be coarse and hairy。 Look

at the famous Ibycus�察�at Anacreon of Teos�察�and at Alcaeus�察�who handled

music so well�察�they wore head´bands and found pleasure in the

lascivious dances of Ionia。 And have you not heard what a dandy

Phrynichus was and how careful in his dress�拭�For this reason his

pieces were also beautiful�察�for the works of a poet are copied from

himself。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Ah� �so it is for this reason that Philocles�察�who is so hideous��

writes hideous pieces�察�Xenocles�察�who is malicious�察�malicious ones�察�and

Theognis�察�who is cold�察�such cold ones��

  AGATHON

    Yes�察�necessarily and unavoidably�察�and it is because I knew this

that I have so well cared for my person。

  MNESILOCHUS

    How�察�in the gods' name��

  EURIPIDES

    Come�察�leave off badgering him�察�I was just the same at his age��

when I began to write。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Ah� �then�察�by Zeus� �I don't envy you your fine manners。

  EURIPIDES ��to AGATHON��

    But listen to the cause that brings me here。

  AGATHON

    Say on。

  EURIPIDES

    Agathon�察�wise is he who can compress many thoughts into few words。

Struck by a most cruel misfortune�察�I come to you as a suppliant。

  AGATHON

    What are you asking��

  EURIPIDES

    The women purpose killing me to´day during the Thesmophoria��

because I have dared to speak ill of them。

  AGATHON

    And what can I do for you in the matter��

  EURIPIDES

    Everything。 Mingle secretly with the women by making yourself pass

as one of themselves�察�then do you plead my cause with your own lips��

and I am saved。 You�察�and you alone�察�are capable of speaking of me

worthily。

  AGATHON

    But why not go and defend yourself��

  EURIPIDES

    Impossible。 First of all�察�I am known�察�further�察�I have white hair

and a long beard�察�whereas you�察�you are good´looking�察�charming�察�and are

close´shaven�察�you are fair�察�delicate�察�and have a woman's voice。

  AGATHON

    Euripides��

  EURIPIDES

    Well��

  AGATHON

    Have you not said in one of your pieces�察 �You love to see the

light�察�and don't you believe your father loves it too�拭�

  EURIPIDES

    Yes。

  AGATHON

    Then never you think I am going to expose myself in your stead�察�it

would be madness。 It's up to you to submit to the fate that

overtakes you�察�one must not try to trick misfortune�察�but resign

oneself to it with good grace。

  MNESILOCHUS

    You fairy� �That's why your arse is so accessible to lovers。

  EURIPIDES

    But what prevents your going there��

  AGATHON

    I should run more risk than you would。

  EURIPIDES

    Why��

  AGATHON

    Why�拭�I should look as if I were wanting to trespass on secret

nightly pleasures of the women and to rape their Aphrodite。

  MNESILOCHUS ��aside��

    Wanting to rape indeed� �you mean wanting to be raped。 Ah� �great

gods� �a fine excuse truly��

  EURIPIDES

    Well then�察�do you agree��

  AGATHON

    Don't count upon it。

  EURIPIDES

    Oh� �I am unfortunate indeed� �I am undone��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Euripides�察�my friend�察�my son´in´law�察�never despair。

  EURIPIDES

    What can be done��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Send him to the devil and do with me as you like。

  EURIPIDES

    Very well then�察�since you devote yourself to my safety�察�take off

your cloak first。

  MNESILOCHUS

    There�察�it lies on the ground。 But what do you want to do with me��

  EURIPIDES

    To shave off this beard of yours�察�and to remove all your other

hair as well。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Do what you think fit�察�I yield myself entirely to you。

  EURIPIDES

    Agathon�察�you always have razors about you�察�lend me one。

  AGATHON

    Take it yourself�察�there�察�out of that case。

  EURIPIDES

    Thanks。 ��To MNESILOCHUS�� Now sit down and puff out your right

cheek。

  MNESILOCHUS ��as he is being shaved��

    Ow� �Ow� �Ow��

  EURIPIDES

    What are you houting for�拭�I'll cram a spit down your gullet�察�if

you're not quiet。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Ow� �Ow� �Ow� �Ow� �Ow� 。�He jumps up and starts running away。��

  EURIPIDES

    Where are you running to now��

  MNESILOCHUS

    To the temple of the Eumenides。 No�察�by Demeter� �I won't let myself

be gashed like that。

  EURIPIDES

    But you will get laughed at�察�with your face half´shaven like that。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Little care I。

  EURIPIDES

    In the gods' names�察�don't leave me in the lurch。 Come here。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Oh� �by the gods� 。�He turns reluctantly and resumes his seat。��

  EURIPIDES

    Keep still and hold up your head。 Why do you want to fidget

about like this��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Mm�察�mm。

  EURIPIDES

    Well� �why mm�察�mm�拭�There� �it's done and well done too��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Alas�察�I shall fight without armour。

  EURIPIDES

    Don't worry�察�you look charming。 Do you want to see yourself��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Yes�察�I do�察�hand the mirror here。

  EURIPIDES

    Do you see yourself��

  MNESILOCHUS

    But this is not I�察�it is Clisthenes��

  EURIPIDES

    Stand up�察�I am now going to remove your hair。 Bend down。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Alas� �alas� �they are going to grill me like a pig。

  EURIPIDES

    Come now�察�a torch or a lamp� �Bend down and watch out for the

tender end of your tool��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Aye�察�aye� �but I'm afire� �oh� �oh� �Water�察�water�察�neighbour�察�or my

perineum will be alight��

  EURIPIDES

    Keep up your courage��

  MNESILOCHUS

    Keep my courage�察�when I'm being burnt up��

  EURIPIDES

    Come�察�cease your whining�察�the worst is over。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Oh� �it's quite black�察�all burnt down there��

  EURIPIDES

    Don't worry� �Satyrus will wash it。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Woe to him who dares to wash me��

  EURIPIDES

    Agathon�察�you refuse to devote yourself to helping me�察�but at any

rate lend me a tunic and a belt。 You cannot say you have not got them。

  AGATHON

    Take them and use them as you like�察�I consent。

  MNESILOCHUS

    What shall I take��

  EURIPIDES

    First put on this long saffron´coloured robe。

  MNESILOCHUS

    By Aphrodite� �what a sweet odour� �how it smells of young male

tools Hand it to me quickly。 And the belt��

  EURIPIDES

    Here it is。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Now some rings for my legs。

  EURIPIDES

    You still want a hair´net and a head´dress。

  AGATHON

    Here is my night cap。

  EURIPIDES

    Ah� �that's fine。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Does it suit me��

  AGATHON

    It could not be better。

  EURIPIDES

    And a short mantle��

  AGATHON

    There's one on the couch�察�take it。

  EURIPIDES

    He needs slippers。

  AGATHON

    Here are mine。

  MNESILOCHUS

    Will they fit me�拭。�To AGATHON�� You don't like a loose fit。

  AGATHON

    Try them on。 Now that you have all you need�察�let me be taken

inside。

                        ��The eccyclema turns and AGATHON disappears。��

  EURIPIDES

    You look for all the world like a woman。 But when you talk�察�take

good care to give your voice a woman's tone。

  MNESILOCHUS ��falsetto��

    I'll try my best。

  EURIPIDES

    Come�察�get yourself to the temple。

  MNESILOCHUS

    No�察�by Apollo�察�not unless you swear to me。。。。

  EURIPIDES

    What��

  MNESILOCHUS

    。。。。that�察�if anything untoward happen to me�察�you will leave

nothing undone to save me。

  EURIPIDES

    Very well� �I swear it by the Aether�察�the dwelling´place of

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