burlesques-第99节

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feet。　　Dear　Jemimarann　was　in　white；　her　hair　braided　with　pearls。

Madame　de　Flicflac　appeared　as　Queen　Elizabeth；　and　Lady　Blanche

Bluenose　as　a　Turkish　princess。　　An　alderman　of　London　and　his

lady；　two　magistrates　of　the　county；　and　the　very　pink　of　Croydon；

several　Polish　noblemen；　two　Italian　counts　（besides　our　Count）；

one　hundred　and　ten　young　officers；　from　Addiscombe　College；　in

full　uniform；　commanded　by　Major…General　Sir　Miles　Mulligatawney；

K。C。B。；　and　his　lady；　the　Misses　Pimminy's　Finishing　Establishment；

and　fourteen　young　ladies；　all　in　white：　the　Reverend　Doctor

Wapshot；　and　forty…nine　young　gentlemen；　of　the　first　families；

under　his　chargewere　SOME　only　of　the　company。　　I　leave　you　to

fancy　that；　if　my　Jemmy　did　seek　for　fashion；　she　had　enough　of　it

on　this　occasion。　　They　wanted　me　to　have　mounted　again；　but　my

hunting…day　had　been　sufficient；　besides；　I　ain't　big　enough

for　a　real　knight：　so；　as　Mrs。　Coxe　insisted　on　my　opening　the

Tournamentand　I　knew　it　was　in　vain　to　resistthe　Baron　and

Tagrag　had　undertaken　to　arrange　so　that　I　might　come　off　with

safety；　if　I　came　off　at　all。　　They　had　procured　from　the　Strand

Theatre　a　famous　stud　of　hobby…horses；　which　they　told　me　had　been

trained　for　the　use　of　the　great　Lord　Bateman。　　I　did　not　know

exactly　what　they　were　till　they　arrived；　but　as　they　had　belonged

to　a　lord；　I　thought　it　was　all　right；　and　consented；　and　I　found

it　the　best　sort　of　riding；　after　all；　to　appear　to　be　on　horseback

and　walk　safely　a…foot　at　the　same　time；　and　it　was　impossible　to

come　down　as　long　as　I　kept　on　my　own　legs：　besides；　I　could　cuff

and　pull　my　steed　about　as　much　as　I　liked；　without　fear　of　his

biting　or　kicking　in　return。　　As　Lord　of　the　Tournament；　they

placed　in　my　hands　a　lance；　ornamented　spirally；　in　blue　and　gold：

I　thought　of　the　pole　over　my　old　shop　door；　and　almost　wished

myself　there　again；　as　I　capered　up　to　the　battle　in　my　helmet　and

breastplate；　with　all　the　trumpets　blowing　and　drums　beating　at　the

time。　　Captain　Tagrag　was　my　opponent；　and　preciously　we　poked　each

other；　till；　prancing　about；　I　put　my　foot　on　my　horse's　petticoat

behind；　and　down　I　came；　getting　a　thrust　from　the　Captain；　at　the

same　time；　that　almost　broke　my　shoulder…bone。　　〃This　was

sufficient；〃　they　said；　〃for　the　laws　of　chivalry；〃　and　I　was　glad

to　get　off　so。



After　that　the　gentlemen　riders；　of　whom　there　were　no　less　than

seven；　in　complete　armor；　and　the　professionals；　now　ran　at　the

ring；　and　the　Baron　was　far；　far　the　most　skilful。



〃How　sweetly　the　dear　Baron　rides；〃　said　my　wife；　who　was　always

ogling　at　him；　smirking；　smiling；　and　waving　her　handkerchief　to

him。　　〃I　say；　Sam；〃　says　a　professional　to　one　of　his　friends；　as；

after　their　course；　they　came　cantering　up；　and　ranged　under

Jemmy's　bower；　as　she　called　it：〃I　say；　Sam；　I'm　blowed　if　that

chap　in　harmer　mustn't　have　been　one　of　hus。〃　　And　this　only　made

Jemmy　the　more　pleased；　for　the　fact　is；　the　Baron　had　chosen　the

best　way　of　winning　Jemimarann　by　courting　her　mother。



The　Baron　was　declared　conqueror　at　the　ring；　and　Jemmy　awarded　him

the　prize；　a　wreath　of　white　roses；　which　she　placed　on　his　lance；

he　receiving　it　gracefully；　and　bowing；　until　the　plumes　of　his

helmet　mingled　with　the　mane　of　his　charger；　which　backed　to　the

other　end　of　the　lists；　then　galloping　back　to　the　place　where

Jemimarann　was　seated；　he　begged　her　to　place　it　on　his　helmet。

The　poor　girl　blushed　very　much；　and　did　so。　　As　all　the　people

were　applauding；　Tagrag　rushed　up；　and；　laying　his　hand　on　the

Baron's　shoulder；　whispered　something　in　his　ear；　which　made　the

other　very　angry；　I　suppose；　for　he　shook　him　off　violently。

〃Chacun　pour　soi；〃　says　he；　〃Monsieur　de　Taguerague；〃which　means；

I　am　told；　〃Every　man　for　himself。〃　　And　then　he　rode　away；

throwing　his　lance　in　the　air；　catching　it；　and　making　his　horse

caper　and　prance；　to　the　admiration　of　all　beholders。



After　this　came　the　〃Passage　of　Arms。〃　　Tagrag　and　the　Baron　ran

courses　against　the　other　champions；　ay；　and　unhorsed　two　apiece；

whereupon　the　other　three　refused　to　turn　out；　and　preciously　we

laughed　at　them；　to　be　sure！



〃Now；　it's　OUR　turn；　Mr。　CHICOT；〃　says　Tagrag；　shaking　his　fist　at

the　Baron：　〃look　to　yourself；　you　infernal　mountebank；　for；　by

Jupiter；　I'll　do　my　best！〃　　And　before　Jemmy　and　the　rest　of　us；

who　were　quite　bewildered；　could　say　a　word；　these　two　friends　were

charging　away；　spears　in　hand；　ready　to　kill　each　other。　　In　vain

Jemmy　screamed；　in　vain　I　threw　down　my　truncheon：　they　had　broken

two　poles　before　I　could　say　〃Jack　Robinson；〃　and　were　driving　at

each　other　with　the　two　new　ones。　　The　Baron　had　the　worst　of　the

first　course；　for　he　had　almost　been　carried　out　of　his　saddle。

〃Hark　you；　Chicot！〃　screamed　out　Tagrag；　〃next　time　look　to　your

head！〃　　And　next　time；　sure　enough；　each　aimed　at　the　head　of　the

other。



Tagrag's　spear　hit　the　right　place；　for　it　carried　off　the　Baron's

helmet；　plume；　rose…wreath　and　all；　but　his　Excellency　hit　truer

stillhis　lance　took　Tagrag　on　the　neck；　and　sent　him　to　the

ground　like　a　stone。



〃He's　won！　he's　won！〃　says　Jemmy；　waving　her　handkerchief；

Jemimarann　fainted；　Lady　Blanche　screamed；　and　I　felt　so　sick　that

I　thought　I　should　drop。　　All　the　company　were　in　an　uproar：　only

the　Baron　looked　calm；　and　bowed　very　gracefully；　and　kissed　his

hand　to　Jemmy；　when；　all　of　a　sudden；　a　Jewish…looking　man

springing　over　the　barrier；　and　followed　by　three　more；　rushed

towards　the　Baron。　　〃Keep　the　gate；　Bob！〃　he　holloas　out。　　〃Baron；

I　arrest　you；　at　the　suit　of　Samuel　Levison；　for〃



But　he　never　said　for　what；　shouting　out；　〃Aha！〃　and　〃Sapprrrristie！〃

and　I　don't　know　what；　his　Excellency　drew　his　sword；　dug　his　spurs

into　his　horse；　and　was　over　the　poor　bailiff；　and　off　before

another　word。　　He　had　threatened　to　run　through　one　of　the　bailiff's

followers；　Mr。　Stubbs；　only　that　gentleman　made　way　for　him；　and

when　we　took　up　the　bailiff；　and　brought　him　round　by　the　aid　of　a

little　brandy…and…water；　he　told　us　all。　　〃I　had　a　writ　againsht

him；　Mishter　Coxsh；　but　I　didn't　vant　to　shpoil　shport；　and；

beshidesh；　I　didn't　know　him　until　dey　knocked　off　his　shteel　cap！〃



　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。



Here　was　a　pretty　business！





OVER…BOARDED　AND　UNDER…LODGED。





We　had　no　great　reason　to　brag　of　our　tournament　at　Tuggeridgeville：

but；　after　all；　it　was　better　than　the　turn…out　at　Kilblazes；　where

poor　Lord　Heydownderry　went　about　in　a　black　velvet　dressing…gown；

and　the　Emperor　Napoleon　Bonypart　appeared　in　a　suit　of　armor　and

silk　stockings；　like　Mr。　Pell's　friend　in　Pickwick；　we；　having

employed　the　gentlemen　from　Astley's　Antitheatre；　had　some　decent

sport　for　our　money。



We　never　heard　a　word　from　the　Baron；　who　had　so　distinguished

himself　by　his　horsemanship；　and　had　knocked　down　（and　very　justly）

Mr。　Nabb；　the　bailiff；　and　Mr。　Stubbs；　his　man；　who　came　to　lay

hands　upon　him。　　My　sweet　Jemmy　seemed　to　be　very　low　in　spirits

after　his　departure；　and　a　sad　thing　it　is　to　see　her　in　low

spirits：　on　days　of　illness　she　no　more　minds　giving　Jemimarann　a

box　on　the　ear；　or　sending　a　plate　of　muffins　across　a　table　at

poor　me；　than　she　does　taking　her　tea。



Jemmy；　I　say；　was　very　low　in　spirits；　but；　one　day　（I　remember　it

was　the　day　after　Captain　Higgins　called；　and　said　he　had　seen　the

Baron　at　Boulogne）；　she　vowed　that　nothing　but　change　of　air　would

do　her　good；　and　declared　that　she　should　die　unless　she　went　to

the　seaside　in　France。　　I　knew　what　this　meant；　and　that　I　might　as

well　attempt　to　resist　her　as　to　resist　her　Gracious　Majesty　in

Parliament　assembled；　so　I　told　the　people　to　pack　up　the　things；

and　took　four　places　on　board　the　〃Grand　Turk〃　steamer　for　Boulogne。



The　travelling…carriage；　which；　with　Jemmy's　thirty…seven　boxes　and

my　carpet…bag；　was　pretty　well　loaded；　was　sent　on　board　the　night

before；　and　we；　after　breakfasting　in　Portland　Place　（little　did　I

think　it　was　thebut；　poh！　never　mind）；　went　down　to　the　Custom

House　in　the　other　carriage；　followed　by　a　hackney…coach　and　a　cab；

with　the　servants；　and　fourteen　bandboxes　and　trunks　more；　which

were　to　be　wanted　by　my　dear　girl　in　the　journey。



The　road　down　Cheapside　and　Thames　Street　need　not　be　described：　we

saw　the　Monument；　a　memento　of　the　wicked　Popish　massacre　of　St。

Bartholomew；why　erected　here　I　can't　think；　as　St。　Bartholomew　is

in　Smithfield；we　had　a　glimpse　of　Billingsgate；　and　of　the

Mansion　House；　where　we　saw　the　two…and…twenty…shilling…coal　smoke

coming　out　of　the　chimneys；　and　were　landed　at　the　Custom　House　in

safety。　　I　felt　melancholy；　for　we　were　going　among　a　people　of

swindlers；　as　all　Frenchmen　are　thought　to　be；　and；　besides　not

being　able　to　speak　the　language；　leaving　our　own　dear　country　and

honest　countrymen。



Fourteen　port