burlesques-第91节

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forts；　no　more　nothing。　　THE　FORTS　HAD　BLOWN　EACH　OTHER　UP。　　The

battle…roar　ceased。　　The　battle…clouds　rolled　off。　　The　silver

moon；　the　twinkling　stars；　looked　blandly　down　from　the　serene

azure；and　all　was　peacestillnessthe　stillness　of　death。

Holy；　holy　silence！



Yes：　the　battle　of　Paris　was　over。　　And　where　were　the　combatants？

All　gonenot　one　left！And　where　was　Louis　Philippe？　　The

venerable　Prince　was　a　captive　in　the　Tuileries；　the　Irish　Brigade

was　encamped　around　it：　they　had　reached　the　palace　a　little　too

late；　it　was　already　occupied　by　the　partisans　of　his　Majesty　Louis

XVII。



That　respectable　monarch　and　his　followers　better　knew　the　way　to

the　Tuileries　than　the　ignorant　sons　of　Erin。　　They　burst　through

the　feeble　barriers　of　the　guards；　they　rushed　triumphant　into　the

kingly　halls　of　the　palace；　they　seated　the　seventeenth　Louis　on

the　throne　of　his　ancestors；　and　the　Parisians　read　in　the　Journal

des　Debats；　of　the　fifth　of　November；　an　important　article；　which

proclaimed　that　the　civil　war　was　concluded：



〃The　troubles　which　distracted　the　greatest　empire　in　the　world　are

at　an　end。　　Europe；　which　marked　with　sorrow　the　disturbances　which

agitated　the　bosom　of　the　Queen　of　Nations；　the　great　leader　of

Civilization；　may　now　rest　in　peace。　　That　monarch　whom　we　have

long　been　sighing　for；　whose　image　has　lain　hidden；　and　yet　oh！　how

passionately　worshipped；　in　every　French　heart；　is　with　us　once

more。　　Blessings　be　on　him；　blessingsa　thousand　blessings　upon

the　happy　country　which　is　at　length　restored　to　his　beneficent；

his　legitimate；　his　reasonable　sway！



〃His　Most　Christian　Majesty　Louis　XVII。　yesterday　arrived　at　his

palace　of　the　Tulleries；　accompanied　by　his　august　allies。　　His

Royal　Highness　the　Duke　of　Orleans　has　resigned　his　post　as

Lieutenant…General　of　the　kingdom；　and　will　return　speedily　to　take

up　his　abode　at　the　Palais　Royal。　　It　is　a　great　mercy　that　the

children　of　his　Royal　Highness；　who　happened　to　be　in　the　late

forts　round　Paris；　（before　the　bombardment　which　has　so　happily

ended　in　their　destruction；）　had　returned　to　their　father　before

the　commencement　of　the　cannonading。　　They　will　continue；　as

heretofore；　to　be　the　most　loyal　supporters　of　order　and　the

throne。



〃None　can　read　without　tears　in　their　eyes　our　august　monarch's

proclamation。



〃'Louis；　by　&c。



〃'My　children！　　After　nine　hundred　and　ninety…nine　years　of

captivity；　I　am　restored　to　you。　　The　cycle　of　events　predicted　by

the　ancient　Magi；　and　the　planetary　convolutions　mentioned　in　the

lost　Sibylline　books；　have　fulfilled　their　respective　idiosyncrasies；

and　ended　（as　always　in　the　depths　of　my　dungeons　I　confidently

expected）　in　the　triumph　of　the　good　Angel；　and　the　utter

discomfiture　of　the　abominable　Blue　Dragon。



〃'When　the　bombarding　began；　and　the　powers　of　darkness　commenced

their　hellish　gunpowder　evolutions；　I　was　close　byin　my　palace　of

Charenton；　three　hundred　and　thirty…three　thousand　miles　off；　in

the　ring　of　SaturnI　witnessed　your　misery。　　My　heart　was　affected

by　it；　and　I　said；　〃Is　the　multiplication…table　a　fiction？　are　the

signs　of　the　Zodiac　mere　astronomers'　prattle？〃



〃'I　clapped　chains；　shrieking　and　darkness；　on　my　physician；　Dr。

Pinel。　　The　keepers　I　shall　cause　to　be　roasted　alive。　　I　summoned

my　allies　round　about　me。　　The　high　contracting　Powers　came　to　my

bidding：　monarchs　from　all　parts　of　the　earth；　sovereigns　from　the

Moon　and　other　illumined　orbits；　the　white　necromancers；　and　the

pale　imprisoned　genii。　　I　whispered　the　mystic　sign；　and　the　doors

flew　open。　　We　entered　Paris　in　triumph；　by　the　Charenton　bridge。

Our　luggage　was　not　examined　at　the　Octroi。　　The　bottle…green　ones

were　scared　at　our　shouts；　and　retreated；　howling：　they　knew　us；

and　trembled。



〃'My　faithful　Peers　and　Deputies　will　rally　around　me。　　I　have　a

friend　in　Turkeythe　Grand　Vizier　of　the　Mussulmans：　he　was　a

Protestant　onceLord　Brougham　by　name。　　I　have　sent　to　him　to

legislate　for　us：　he　is　wise　in　the　law；　and　astrology；　and　all

sciences；　he　shall　aid　my　Ministers　in　their　councils。　　I　have

written　to　him　by　the　post。　　There　shall　be　no　more　infamous　mad…

houses　in　France；　where　poor　souls　shiver　in　strait…waistcoats。



〃'I　recognized　Louis　Philippe；　my　good　cousin。　　He　was　in　his

counting…house；　counting　out　his　money；　as　the　old　prophecy　warned

me。　　He　gave　me　up　the　keys　of　his　gold；　I　shall　know　well　how　to

use　it。　　Taught　by　adversity；　I　am　not　a　spendthrift；　neither　am　I

a　miser。　　I　will　endow　the　land　with　noble　institutions　instead　of

diabolical　forts。　　I　will　have　no　more　cannon　founded。　　They　are　a

curse　and　shall　be　meltedthe　iron　ones　into　railroads；　the　bronze

ones　into　statues　of　beautiful　saints；　angels；　and　wise　men；　the

copper　ones　into　money；　to　be　distributed　among　my　poor。　　I　was

poor　once；　and　I　love　them。



〃'There　shall　be　no　more　poverty；　no　more　wars；　no　more　avarice；　no

more　passports；　no　more　custom…houses；　no　more　lying：　no　more

physic。



〃'My　Chambers　will　put　the　seal　to　these　reforms。　　I　will　it。　　I　am

the　king。



（Signed）　　'Louis。'〃





〃Some　alarm　was　created　yesterday　by　the　arrival　of　a　body　of　the

English　Foot…Guard　under　the　Duke　of　Jenkins；　they　were　at　first

about　to　sack　the　city；　but　on　hearing　that　the　banner　of　the

lilies　was　once　more　raised　in　France；　the　Duke　hastened　to　the

Tuileries；　and　offered　his　allegiance　to　his　Majesty。　　It　was

accepted：　and　the　Plush　Guard　has　been　established　in　place　of　the

Swiss；　who　waited　on　former　sovereigns。〃





〃The　Irish　Brigade　quartered　in　the　Tuileries　are　to　enter　our

service。　　Their　commander　states　that　they　took　every　one　of　the

forts　round　Paris；　and　having　blown　them　up；　were　proceeding　to

release　Louis　XVII。；　when　they　found　that　august　monarch；　happily；

free。　　News　of　their　glorious　victory　has　been　conveyed　to　Dublin；

to　his　Majesty　the　King　of　the　Irish。　　It　will　be　a　new　laurel　to

add　to　his　green　crown！〃





And　thus　have　we　brought　to　a　conclusion　our　history　of　the　great

French　Revolution　of　1884。　　It　records　the　actions　of　great　and

various　characters；　the　deeds　of　various　valor；　it　narrates

wonderful　reverses　of　fortune；　it　affords　the　moralist　scope　for

his　philosophy；　perhaps　it　gives　amusement　to　the　merely　idle

reader。　　Nor　must　the　latter　imagine；　because　there　is　not　a

precise　moral　affixed　to　the　story；　that　its　tendency　is　otherwise

than　good。　　He　is　a　poor　reader；　for　whom　his　author　is　obliged　to

supply　a　moral　application。　　It　is　well　in　spelling…books　and　for

children；　it　is　needless　for　the　reflecting　spirit。　　The　drama　of

Punch　himself　is　not　moral：　but　that　drama　has　had　audiences　all

over　the　world。　　Happy　he；　who　in　our　dark　times　can　cause　a　smile！

Let　us　laugh　then；　and　gladden　in　the　sunshine；　though　it　be　but　as

the　ray　upon　the　pool；　that　flickers　only　over　the　cold　black

depths　below！









COX'S　DIARY。



THE　ANNOUNCEMENT。





On　the　1st　of　January；　1838；　I　was　the　master　of　a　lovely　shop　in

the　neighborhood　of　Oxford　Market；　of　a　wife；　Mrs。　Cox；　of　a

business；　both　in　the　shaving　and　cutting　line；　established　three…

and…thirty　years；　of　a　girl　and　boy　respectively　of　the　ages　of

eighteen　and　thirteen；　of　a　three…windowed　front；　both　to　my　first

and　second　pair；　of　a　young　foreman；　my　present　partner；　Mr。

Orlando　Crump；　and　of　that　celebrated　mixture　for　the　human　hair；

invented　by　my　late　uncle；　and　called　Cox's　Bohemian　Balsam　of

Tokay；　sold　in　pots　at　two…and…three　and　three…and…nine。　　The

balsam；　the　lodgings；　and　the　old…established　cutting　and　shaving

business　brought　me　in　a　pretty　genteel　income。　　I　had　my　girl；

Jemimarann；　at　Hackney；　to　school；　my　dear　boy；　Tuggeridge；　plaited

her　hair　beautifully；　my　wife　at　the　counter　（behind　the　tray　of

patent　soaps；　&c。）　cut　as　handsome　a　figure　as　possible；　and　it　was

my　hope　that　Orlando　and　my　girl；　who　were　mighty　soft　upon　one

another；　would　one　day　be　joined　together　in　Hyming；　and；

conjointly　with　my　son　Tug；　carry　on　the　business　of　hairdressers

when　their　father　was　either　dead　or　a　gentleman：　for　a　gentleman

me　and　Mrs。　C。　determined　I　should　be。



Jemima　was；　you　see；　a　lady　herself；　and　of　very　high　connections：

though　her　own　family　had　met　with　crosses；　and　was　rather　low。

Mr。　Tuggeridge；　her　father；　kept　the　famous　tripe…shop　near　the

〃Pigtail　and　Sparrow；〃　in　the　Whitechapel　Road；　from　which　place　I

married　her；　being　myself　very　fond　of　the　article；　and　especially

when　she　served　it　to　methe　dear　thing！



Jemima's　father　was　not　successful　in　business：　and　I　married　her；

I　am　proud　to　confess　it；　without　a　shilling。　　I　had　my　hands；　my

house；　and　my　Bohemian　balsam　to　support　her！and　we　had　hopes

from　her　uncle；　a　mighty　rich　East　India　merchant；　who；　having　left

this　country　sixty　years　ago　as　a　cabin…boy；　had　arrived　to　be　the

head　of