burlesques-第61节
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her with something extremely rare。
〃Fair princess；〃 he said； 〃I should like very much a pork…chop and
some mashed potatoes。〃
She lifted the cover： there was such a pork…chop as Simpson never
served； with a dish of mashed potatoes that would have formed at
least six portions in our degenerate days in Rupert Street。
When he had helped himself to these delicacies； the lady put the
cover on the dish again； and watched him eating with interest。 He
was for some time too much occupied with his own food to remark
that his companion did not eat a morsel； but big as it was； his
chop was soon gone； the shining silver of his plate was scraped
quite clean with his knife； and； heaving a great sigh； he confessed
a humble desire for something to drink。
〃Call for what you like； sweet sir；〃 said the lady； lifting up a
silver filigree bottle； with an india…rubber cork； ornamented with
gold。
〃Then；〃 said Master Wolfgangfor the fellow's tastes were； in
sooth； very humble〃I call for half…and…half。〃 According to his
wish； a pint of that delicious beverage was poured from the bottle；
foaming； into his beaker。
Having emptied this at a draught； and declared that on his
conscience it was the best tap he ever knew in his life； the young
man felt his appetite renewed； and it is impossible to say how many
different dishes he called for。 Only enchantment； he was
afterwards heard to declare （though none of his friends believed
him）； could have given him the appetite he possessed on that
extraordinary night。 He called for another pork…chop and potatoes；
then for pickled salmon； then he thought he would try a devilled
turkey…wing。 〃I adore the devil；〃 said he。
〃So do I；〃 said the pale lady； with unwonted animation； and the
dish was served straightway。 It was succeeded by black…puddings；
tripe； toasted cheese； andwhat was most remarkableevery one of
the dishes which he desired came from under the same silver cover：
which circumstance； when he had partaken of about fourteen
different articles； he began to find rather mysterious。
〃Oh；〃 said the pale lady； with a smile； 〃the mystery is easily
accounted for： the servants hear you； and the kitchen is BELOW。〃
But this did not account for the manner in which more half…and…
half； bitter ale； punch （both gin and rum）； and even oil and
vinegar； which he took with cucumber to his salmon； came out of the
self…same bottle from which the lady had first poured out his pint
of half…and…half。
〃There are more things in heaven and earth； Voracio；〃 said his arch
entertainer； when he put this question to her； 〃than are dreamt of
in your philosophy：〃 and； sooth to say； the archer was by this time
in such a state； that he did not find anything wonderful more。
〃Are you happy； dear youth？〃 said the lady； as； after his
collation； he sank back in his chair。
〃Oh； miss； ain't I？〃 was his interrogative and yet affirmative
reply。
〃Should you like such a supper every night； Wolfgang？〃 continued
the pale one。
〃Why； no；〃 said he； 〃no； not exactly； not EVERY night： SOME nights
I should like oysters。〃
〃Dear youth；〃 said she； 〃be but mine； and you may have them all the
year round！〃 The unhappy boy was too far gone to suspect anything；
otherwise this extraordinary speech would have told him that he was
in suspicious company。 A person who can offer oysters all the year
round can live to no good purpose。
〃Shall I sing you a song； dear archer？〃 said the lady。
〃Sweet love！〃 said he； now much excited； 〃strike up； and I will
join the chorus。〃
She took down her mandolin； and commenced a ditty。 'Twas a sweet
and wild one。 It told how a lady of high lineage cast her eyes on
a peasant page； it told how nought could her love assuage； her
suitor's wealth and her father's rage： it told how the youth did
his foes engage； and at length they went off in the Gretna stage；
the high…born dame and the peasant page。 Wolfgang beat time；
waggled his head； sung wofully out of tune as the song proceeded；
and if he had not been too intoxicated with love and other
excitement； he would have remarked how the pictures on the wall； as
the lady sung； began to waggle their heads too； and nod and grin to
the music。 The song ended。 〃I am the lady of high lineage：
Archer； will you be the peasant page？〃
〃I'll follow you to the devil！〃 said Wolfgang。
〃Come；〃 replied the lady； glaring wildly on him； 〃come to the
chapel； we'll be married this minute！〃
She held out her handWolfgang took it。 It was cold； damp；
deadly cold； and on they went to the chapel。
As they passed out； the two pictures over the wall； of a gentleman
and lady； tripped lightly out of their frames； skipped noiselessly
down to the ground； and making the retreating couple a profound
curtsy and bow； took the places which they had left at the table。
Meanwhile the young couple passed on towards the chapel； threading
innumerable passages； and passing through chambers of great extent。
As they came along； all the portraits on the wall stepped out of
their frames to follow them。 One ancestor； of whom there was only
a bust； frowned in the greatest rage； because； having no legs； his
pedestal would not move； and several sticking…plaster profiles of
the former Lords of Windeck looked quite black at being； for
similar reasons； compelled to keep their places。 However； there
was a goodly procession formed behind Wolfgang and his bride； and
by the time they reached the church； they had near a hundred
followers。
The church was splendidly illuminated； the old banners of the old
knights glittered as they do at Drury Lane。 The organ set up of
itself to play the 〃Bridesmaid's Chorus。〃 The choir…chairs were
filled with people in black。
〃Come； love；〃 said the pale lady。
〃I don't see the parson；〃 exclaimed Wolfgang； spite of himself
rather alarmed。
〃Oh； the parson！ that's the easiest thing in the world！ I say；
bishop！〃 said the lady； stooping down。
Stooping downand to what？ Why； upon my word and honor； to a
great brass plate on the floor； over which they were passing； and
on which was engraven the figure of a bishopand a very ugly
bishop； toowith crosier and mitre； and lifted finger； on which
sparkled the episcopal ring。 〃Do； my dear lord； come and marry
us；〃 said the lady； with a levity which shocked the feelings of her
bridegroom。
The bishop got up； and directly he rose； a dean； who was sleeping
under a large slate near him； came bowing and cringing up to him；
while a canon of the cathedral （whose name was Schidnischmidt）
began grinning and making fun at the pair。 The ceremony was begun；
and 。 。 。 。
As the clock struck twelve； young Otto bounded up； and remarked the
absence of his companion Wolfgang。 The idea he had had； that his
friend disappeared in company with a white…robed female； struck him
more and more。 〃I will follow them；〃 said he； and； calling to the
next on the watch （old Snozo； who was right unwilling to forego his
sleep）； he rushed away by the door through which he had seen
Wolfgang and his temptress take their way。
That he did not find them was not his fault。 The castle was vast；
the chamber dark。 There were a thousand doors； and what wonder
that； after he had once lost sight of them； the intrepid Childe
should not be able to follow in their steps？ As might be expected；
he took the wrong door； and wandered for at least three hours about
the dark enormous solitary castle； calling out Wolfgang's name to
the careless and indifferent echoes； knocking his young shins
against the ruins scattered in the darkness； but still with a
spirit entirely undaunted； and a firm resolution to aid his absent
comrade。 Brave Otto！ thy exertions were rewarded at last！
For he lighted at length upon the very apartment where Wolfgang had
partaken of supper； and where the old couple who had been in the
picture…frames； and turned out to be the lady's father and mother；
were now sitting at the table。
〃Well； Bertha has got a husband at last；〃 said the lady。
〃After waiting four hundred and fifty…three years for one； it was
quite time；〃 said the gentleman。 （He was dressed in powder and a
pigtail； quite in the old fashion。）
〃The husband is no great things；〃 continued the lady； taking snuff。
〃A low fellow； my dear； a butcher's son； I believe。 Did you see
how the wretch ate at supper？ To think my daughter should have to
marry an archer！〃
〃There are archers and archers；〃 said the old man。 〃Some archers
are snobs； as your ladyship states； some； on the contrary； are
gentlemen by birth； at least； though not by breeding。 Witness
young Otto； the Landgrave of Godesberg's son； who is listening at
the door like a lackey； and whom I intend to run through the〃
〃Law； Baron！〃 said the lady。
〃I will； though；〃 replied the Baron； drawing an immense sword； and
glar
