burlesques-第46节

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fit　of　rage　had　been　removed；　Holkar's　good　humor　somewhat

returned；　and　he　allowed　me　to　continue　my　account　of　the　fort；

which　I　did；　not　taking　the　slightest　notice　of　his　burst　of

impatience：　as　indeed　it　would　have　been　the　height　of　impoliteness

to　have　done　for　such　accidents　happened　many　times　in　the　day。



〃It　is　well　that　the　Bobbachy　has　returned；〃　snuffled　out　the　poor

Grand　Vizier；　after　I　had　explained　to　the　Council　the　extraordinary

means　of　defence　possessed　by　the　garrison。　　〃Your　star　is　bright；

O　Bahawder！　for　this　very　night　we　had　resolved　upon　an　escalade　of

the　fort；　and　we　had　sworn　to　put　every　one　of　the　infidel　garrison

to　the　edge　of　the　sword。〃



〃But　you　have　no　battering　train；〃　said　I。



〃Bah！　we　have　a　couple　of　ninety…six　pounders；　quite　sufficient　to

blow　the　gates　open；　and　then；　hey　for　a　charge！〃　said　Loll

Mahommed；　a　general　of　cavalry；　who　was　a　rival　of　Bobbachy's；　and

contradicted；　therefore；　every　word　I　said。　　〃In　the　name　of

Juggernaut；　why　wait　for　the　heavy　artillery？　　Have　we　not　swords？

Have　we　not　hearts？　　Mashallah！　　Let　cravens　stay　with　Bobbachy；

all　true　men　will　follow　Loll　Mahommed！　　Allahhumdillah；　Bismillah；

Barikallah？〃*　and　drawing　his　scimitar；　he　waved　it　over　his　head；

and　shouted　out　his　cry　of　battle。　　It　was　repeated　by　many　of　the

other　omrahs；　the　sound　of　their　cheers　was　carried　into　the　camp；

and　caught　up　by　the　men；　the　camels　began　to　cry；　the　horses　to

prance　and　neigh；　the　eight　hundred　elephants　set　up　a　scream；　the

trumpeters　and　drummers　clanged　away　at　their　instruments。　　I　never

heard　such　a　din　before　or　after。　　How　I　trembled　for　my　little

garrison　when　I　heard　the　enthusiastic　cries　of　this　innumerable

host！





*　The　Major　has　put　the　most　approved　language　into　the　mouths　of

his　Indian　characters。　　Bismillah；　Barikallah；　and　so　on；　according

to　the　novelists；　form　the　very　essence　of　Eastern　conversation。





There　was　but　one　way　for　it。　　〃Sir；〃　said　I；　addressing　Holkar；

〃go　out　to…night　and　you　go　to　certain　death。　　Loll　Mahommed　has

not　seen　the　fort　as　I　have。　　Pass　the　gate　if　you　please；　and　for

what？　to　fall　before　the　fire　of　a　hundred　pieces　of　artillery；　to

storm　another　gate；　and　then　another；　and　then　to　be　blown　up；　with

Gahagan's　garrison　in　the　citadel。　　Who　talks　of　courage？　　Were　I

not　in　your　august　presence；　O　star　of　the　faithful；　I　would　crop

Loll　Mahommed's　nose　from　his　face；　and　wear　his　ears　as　an

ornament　in　my　own　pugree！　　Who　is　there　here　that　knows　not　the

difference　between　yonder　yellow…skinned　coward　and　Gahagan　Khan

GujI　mean　Bobbachy　Bahawder？　　I　am　ready　to　fight　one；　two；

three；　or　twenty　of　them；　at　broad…sword；　small…sword；　single…

stick；　with　fists　if　you　please。　　By　the　holy　piper；　fighting　is

like　mate　and　dthrink　to　Gato　Bobbachy；　I　manewhoop！　come　on；

you　divvle；　and　I'll　bate　the　skin　off　your　ugly　bones。〃



This　speech　had　very　nearly　proved　fatal　to　me；　for　when　I　am

agitated；　I　involuntarily　adopt　some　of　the　phraseology　peculiar　to

my　own　country；　which　is　so　un…eastern；　that；　had　there　been　any

suspicion　as　to　my　real　character；　detection　must　indubitably　have

ensued。　　As　it　was；　Holkar　perceived　nothing；　but　instantaneously

stopped　the　dispute。　　Loll　Mahommed；　however；　evidently　suspected

something；　for；　as　Holkar；　with　a　voice　of　thunder；　shouted　out；

〃Tomasha　（silence）；〃　Loll　sprang　forward　and　gasped　out



〃My　lord！　my　lord　I　this　is　not　Bob〃



But　he　could　say　no　more。　　〃Gag　the　slave！〃　screamed　out　Holkar；

stamping　with　fury：　and　a　turban　was　instantly　twisted　round　the

poor　devil's　jaws。　　〃Ho；　furoshes！　carry　out　Loll　Mahommed　Khan；

give　him　a　hundred　dozen　on　the　soles　of　his　feet；　set　him　upon　a

white　donkey；　and　carry　him　round　the　camp；　with　an　inscription

before　him：　'This　is　the　way　that　Holkar　rewards　the　talkative。'〃



I　breathed　again；　and　ever　as　I　heard　each　whack　of　the　bamboo

falling　on　Loll　Mahommed's　feet；　I　felt　peace　returning　to　my　mind；

and　thanked　my　stars　that　I　was　delivered　of　this　danger。



〃Vizier；〃　said　Holkar；　who　enjoyed　Loll's　roars　amazingly；　〃I　owe

you　a　reparation　for　your　nose：　kiss　the　hand　of　your　prince；

O　Saadut　Alee　Beg　Bimbukchee！　be　from　this　day　forth　Zoheir

u　Dowlut！〃



The　good　old　man's　eyes　filled　with　tears。　　〃I　can　bear　thy

severity；　O　Prince；〃　said　he；　〃I　cannot　bear　thy　love。　　Was　it　not

an　honor　that　your　Highness　did　me　just　now　when　you　condescended

to　pass　over　the　bridge　of　your　slave's　nose？〃



The　phrase　was　by　all　voices　pronounced　to　be　very　poetical。　　The

Vizier　retired；　crowned　with　his　new　honors；　to　bed。　　Holkar　was　in

high　good　humor。



〃Bobbachy；〃　said　he；　thou；　too；　must　pardon　me。　　A　propos；　I　have

news　for　thee。　　Your　wife；　the　incomparable　Puttee　Rooge；〃　（white

and　red　rose；）　has　arrived　in　camp。〃



〃My　WIFE；　my　lord！〃　said　I；　aghast。



〃Our　daughter；　the　light　of　thine　eyes！　　Go；　my　son；　I　see　thou　art

wild　with　joy。　　The　Princess's　tents　are　set　up　close　by　mine；　and

I　know　thou　longest　to　join　her。〃



My　wife？　　Here　was　a　complication　truly！





CHAPTER　V。



THE　ISSUE　OF　MY　INTERVIEW　WITH　MY　WIFE。





I　found　Puneeree　Muckun；　with　the　rest　of　my　attendants；　waiting　at

the　gate；　and　they　immediately　conducted　me　to　my　own　tents　in　the

neighborhood。　　I　have　been　in　many　dangerous　predicaments　before

that　time　and　since；　but　I　don't　care　to　deny　that　I　felt　in　the

present　instance　such　a　throbbing　of　the　heart　as　I　never　have

experienced　when　leading　a　forlorn　hope；　or　marching　up　to　a

battery。



As　soon　as　I　entered　the　tents　a　host　of　menials　sprang　forward；

some　to　ease　me　of　my　armor；　some　to　offer　me　refreshments；　some

with　hookahs；　attar　of　roses　（in　great　quart…bottles）；　and　the

thousand　delicacies　of　Eastern　life。　　I　motioned　them　away。　　〃I

will　wear　my　armor；〃　said　I；　I　shall　go　forth　to…night；　carry　my

duty　to　the　princess；　and　say　I　grieve　that　to…night　I　have　not　the

time　to　see　her。　　Spread　me　a　couch　here；　and　bring　me　supper　here：

a　jar　of　Persian　wine　well　cooled；　a　lamb　stuffed　with　pistachio…

nuts；　a　pillaw　of　a　couple　of　turkeys；　a　curried　kidanything。

Begone！　　Give　me　a　pipe；　leave　me　alone；　and　tell　me　when　the　meal

is　ready。〃



I　thought　by　these　means　to　put　off　the　fair　Puttee　Rooge；　and

hoped　to　be　able　to　escape　without　subjecting　myself　to　the

examination　of　her　curious　eyes。　　After　smoking　for　a　while；　an

attendant　came　to　tell　me　that　my　supper　was　prepared　in　the　inner

apartment　of　the　tent　（I　suppose　that　the　reader；　if　he　be

possessed　of　the　commonest　intelligence；　knows　that　the　tents　of

the　Indian　grandees　are　made　of　the　finest　Cashmere　shawls；　and

contain　a　dozen　rooms　at　least；　with　carpets；　chimneys；　and　sash…

windows　complete）。　　I　entered；　I　say；　into　an　inner　chamber；　and

there　began　with　my　fingers　to　devour　my　meal　in　the　Oriental

fashion；　taking；　every　now　and　then；　a　pull　from　the　wine…jar；

which　was　cooling　deliciously　in　another　jar　of　snow。



I　was　just　in　the　act　of　despatching　the　last　morsel　of　a　most

savory　stewed　lamb　and　rice；　which　had　formed　my　meal；　when　I　heard

a　scuffle　of　feet；　a　shrill　clatter　of　female　voices；　and；　the

curtain　being　flung　open；　in　marched　a　lady　accompanied　by　twelve

slaves；　with　moon　faces　and　slim　waists；　lovely　as　the　houris　in

Paradise。



The　lady　herself；　to　do　her　justice；　was　as　great　a　contrast　to　her

attendants　as　could　possibly　be：　she　was　crooked；　old；　of　the

complexion　of　molasses；　and　rendered　a　thousand　times　more　ugly　by

the　tawdry　dress　and　the　blazing　jewels　with　which　she　was　covered。

A　line　of　yellow　chalk　drawn　from　her　forehead　to　the　tip　of　her

nose　（which　was　further　ornamented　by　an　immense　glittering　nose…

ring）；　her　eyelids　painted　bright　red；　and　a　large　dab　of　the　same

color　on　her　chin；　showed　she　was　not　of　the　Mussulman；　but　the

Brahmin　faithand　of　a　very　high　caste；　you　could　see　that　by　her

eyes。　　My　mind　was　instantaneously　made　up　as　to　my　line　of　action。



The　male　attendants　had　of　course　quitted　the　apartment；　as　they

heard　the　well…known　sound　of　her　voice。　　It　would　have　been　death

to　them　to　have　remained　and　looked　in　her　face。　　The　females

ranged　themselves　round　their　mistress；　as　she　squatted　down

opposite　to　me。



〃And　is　this；〃　said　she；　〃a　welcome；　O　Khan！　after　six　months'

absence；　for　the　most　unfortunate　and　loving　wife　in　all　the　world？

Is　this　lamb；　O　glutton！　half　so　tender　as　thy　spouse？　　Is　this

wine；　O　sot！　half　so　sweet　as　her　looks？〃



I　saw　the　storm　was　brewingher　slaves；　to　whom　she　turned；　kept

up　a　kind　of　chorus：



〃Oh；　the　faithless　one！〃　cried　they。　　〃Oh；　the　rascal；　the　false

one；　who　has　no　eye　for　beauty；　and　no　heart　for　love；　like　the

Khanum's！〃



〃A　lamb　is　not　so　sweet　as　love；〃　said　I　gravely：　〃but　a　lamb　has　a

good　temper；　a　wine…cup　is　not　so　intoxicating　as　a　womanbut　a

wine…cup