burlesques-第39节

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of　us　would　ever　have　been　alive　out　of　the　three；　but　whether　it

was　owing　to　fright；　or　to　the　excessive　smoke　caused　by　so　many

pieces　of　artillery；　arrive　we　did。　　On　the　platforms；　too；　our

work　was　not　quite　so　difficult　as　might　be　imaginedkilling　these

fellows　was　sheer　butchery。　　As　soon　as　we　appeared；　they　all

turned　and　fled　helter…skelter；　and　the　reader　may　judge　of　their

courage　by　the　fact　that　out　of　about　seven　hundred　men　killed　by

us；　only　forty　had　wounds　in　front；　the　rest　being　bayoneted　as

they　ran。



And　beyond　all　other　pieces　of　good　fortune　was　the　very　letting

out　of　these　tigers；　which　was　the　dernier　ressort　of　Bournonville；

the　second　commandant　of　the　fort。　　I　had　observed　this　man

（conspicuous　for　a　tri…colored　scarf　which　he　wore）　upon　every　one

of　the　walls　as　we　stormed　them；　and　running　away　the　very　first

among　the　fugitives。　　He　had　all　the　keys　of　the　gates；　and　in　his

tremor；　as　he　opened　the　menagerie　portal；　left　the　whole　bunch　in

the　door；　which　I　seized　when　the　animals　were　overcome。　　Runty

Goss　then　opened　them　one　by　one；　our　troops　entered；　and　the

victorious　standard　of　my　country　floated　on　the　walls　of　Allyghur！



When　the　General；　accompanied　by　his　staff；　entered　the　last　line

of　fortifications；　the　brave　old　man　raised　me　from　the　dead

rhinoceros　on　which　I　was　seated；　and　pressed　me　to　his　breast。

But　the　excitement　which　had　borne　me　through　the　fatigues　and

perils　of　that　fearful　day　failed　all　of　a　sudden；　and　I　wept　like

a　child　upon　his　shoulder。



Promotion；　in　our　army；　goes　unluckily　by　seniority；　nor　is　it　in

the　power　of　the　General…in…Chief　to　advance　a　Caesar；　if　he　finds

him　in　the　capacity　of　a　subaltern：　MY　reward　for　the　above　exploit

was；　therefore；　not　very　rich。　　His　Excellency　had　a　favorite　horn

snuff…box　（for；　though　exalted　in　station；　he　was　in　his　habits

most　simple）：　of　this；　and　about　a　quarter　of　an　ounce　of　high…

dried　Welsh；　which　he　always　took；　he　made　me　a　present；　saying；　in

front　of　the　line；　〃Accept　this；　Mr。　Gahagan；　as　a　token　of　respect

from　the　first　to　the　bravest　officer　in　the　army。〃



Calculating　the　snuff　to　be　worth　a　halfpenny；　I　should　say　that

fourpence　was　about　the　value　of　this　gift：　but　it　has　at　least

this　good　effectit　serves　to　convince　any　person　who　doubts　my

story；　that　the　facts　of　it　are　really　true。　　I　have　left　it　at　the

office　of　my　publisher；　along　with　the　extract　from　the　Bengal

Hurkaru；　and　anybody　may　examine　both　by　applying　in　the　counting…

house　of　Mr。　Cunningham。*　　That　once　popular　expression；　or

proverb；　〃are　you　up　to　snuff？〃　arose　out　of　the　above　circumstance；

for　the　officers　of　my　corps；　none　of　whom；　except　myself；　had

ventured　on　the　storming…party；　used　to　twit　me　about　this　modest

reward　for　my　labors。　　Never　mind！　when　they　want　me　to　storm　a　fort

AGAIN；　I　shall　know　better。





*　The　Major　certainly　offered　to　leave　an　old　snuff…box　at　Mr。

Cunningham's　office；　but　it　contained　no　extract　from　a　newspaper；

and　does　not　QUITE　prove　that　he　killed　a　rhinoceros　and　stormed

fourteen　intrenchments　at　the　siege　of　Allyghur。





Well；　immediately　after　the　capture　of　this　important　fortress；

Perron；　who　had　been　the　life　and　soul　of　Scindiah's　army；　came　in

to　us；　with　his　family　and　treasure；　and　was　passed　over　to　the

French　settlements　at　Chandernagur。　　Bourquien　took　his　command；

and　against　him　we　now　moved。　　The　morning　of　the　11th　of　September

found　us　upon　the　plains　of　Delhi。



It　was　a　burning　hot　day；　and　we　were　all　refreshing　ourselves

after　the　morning's　march；　when　I；　who　was　on　the　advanced　piquet

along　with　O'Gawler　of　the　King's　Dragoons；　was　made　aware　of　the

enemy's　neighborhood　in　a　very　singular　manner。　　O'Gawler　and　I

were　seated　under　a　little　canopy　of　horse…cloths；　which　we　had

formed　to　shelter　us　from　the　intolerable　heat　of　the　sun；　and　were

discussing　with　great　delight　a　few　Manilla　cheroots；　and　a　stone

jar　of　the　most　exquisite；　cool；　weak；　refreshing　sangaree。　　We　had

been　playing　cards　the　night　before；　and　O'Gawler　had　lost　to　me

seven　hundred　rupees。　　I　emptied　the　last　of　the　sangaree　into　the

two　pint　tumblers　out　of　which　we　were　drinking；　and　holding　mine

up；　said；　〃Here's　better　luck　to　you　next　time；　O'Gawler！〃



As　I　spoke　the　wordswhish！a　cannon…ball　cut　the　tumbler　clean

out　of　my　hand；　and　plumped　into　poor　O'Gawler's　stomach。　　It

settled　him　completely；　and　of　course　I　never　got　my　seven　hundred

rupees。　　Such　are　the　uncertainties　of　war！



To　strap　on　my　sabre　and　my　accoutrementsto　mount　my　Arab

chargerto　drink　off　what　O'Gawler　had　left　of　the　sangareeand

to　gallop　to　the　General；　was　the　work　of　a　moment。　　I　found　him　as

comfortably　at　tiffin　as　if　he　were　at　his　own　house　in　London。



〃General；〃　said　I；　as　soon　as　I　got　into　his　paijamahs　（or　tent）；

〃you　must　leave　your　lunch　if　you　want　to　fight　the　enemy。〃



〃The　enemypsha！　Mr。　Gahagan；　the　enemy　is　on　the　other　side　of

the　river。〃



〃I　can　only　tell　your　Excellency　that　the　enemy's　guns　will　hardly

carry　five　miles；　and　that　Cornet　O'Gawler　was　this　moment　shot

dead　at　my　side　with　a　cannon…ball。〃



〃Ha！　is　it　so？〃　said　his　Excellency；　rising；　and　laying　down　the

drumstick　of　a　grilled　chicken。　　〃Gentlemen；　remember　that　the　eyes

of　Europe　are　upon　us；　and　follow　me！〃



Each　aide…de…camp　started　from　table　and　seized　his　cocked　hat；

each　British　heart　beat　high　at　the　thoughts　of　the　coming　melee。

We　mounted　our　horses　and　galloped　swiftly　after　the　brave　old

General；　I　not　the　last　in　the　train；　upon　my　famous　black　charger。



It　was　perfectly　true；　the　enemy　were　posted　in　force　within　three

miles　of　our　camp；　and　from　a　hillock　in　the　advance　to　which　we

galloped；　we　were　enabled　with　our　telescopes　to　see　the　whole　of

his　imposing　line。　　Nothing　can　better　describe　it　than　this：



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A　is　the　enemy；　and　the　dots　represent　the　hundred　and　twenty

pieces　of　artillery　which　defended　his　line。　　He　was；　moreover；

intrenched；　and　a　wide　morass　in　his　front　gave　him　an　additional

security。



His　Excellency　for　a　moment　surveyed　the　line；　and　then　said；

turning　round　to　one　of　his　aides…de…camp；　〃Order　up　Major…General

Tinkler　and　the　cavalry。〃



〃HERE；　does　your　Excellency　mean？〃　said　the　aide…de…camp；　surprised；

for　the　enemy　had　perceived　us；　and　the　cannon…balls　were　flying

about　as　thick　as　peas。



〃HERE；　sir！〃　said　the　old　General；　stamping　with　his　foot　in　a

passion；　and　the　A。D。C。　shrugged　his　shoulders　and　galloped　away。

In　five　minutes　we　heard　the　trumpets　in　our　camp；　and　in　twenty

more　the　greater　part　of　the　cavalry　had　joined　us。



Up　they　came；　five　thousand　men；　their　standards　flapping　in　the

air；　their　long　line　of　polished　jack…boots　gleaming　in　the　golden

sunlight。　　〃And　now　we　are　here；〃　said　Major…General　Sir　Theophilus

Tinkler；　〃what　next？〃　　〃Oh；　d…　it；〃　said　the　Commander…in…Chief；

〃charge；　chargenothing　like　charginggallopinggunsrascally

black　scoundrelscharge；　charge！〃　　And　then　turning　round　to　me

（perhaps　he　was　glad　to　change　the　conversation）；　he　said；

〃Lieutenant　Gahagan；　you　will　stay　with　me。〃



And　well　for　him　I　did；　for　I　do　not　hesitate　to　say　that　the

battle　WAS　GAINED　BY　ME。　　I　do　not　mean　to　insult　the　reader　by

pretending　that　any　personal　exertions　of　mine　turned　the　day；

that　I　killed；　for　instance；　a　regiment　of　cavalry　or　swallowed　a

battery　of　guns；such　absurd　tales　would　disgrace　both　the　hearer

and　the　teller。　　I；　as　is　well　known；　never　say　a　single　word　which

cannot　be　proved；　and　hate　more　than　all　other　vices　the　absurd　sin

of　egotism；　I　simply　mean　that　my　ADVICE　to　the　General；　at　a

quarter　past　two　o'clock　in　the　afternoon　of　that　day；　won　this

great　triumph　for　the　British　army。



Gleig；　Mill；　and　Thorn　have　all　told　the　tale　of　this　war；　though

somehow　they　have　omitted　all　mention　of　the　hero　of　it。　　General

Lake；　for　the　victory　of　that　day；　became　Lord　Lake　of　Laswaree。

Laswaree！　and　who；　forsooth；　was　the　real　conqueror　of　Laswaree？　　I

can　lay　my　hand　upon　my　heart　and　say　that　I　was。　　If　any　proof　is

wanting　of　the　fact；　let　me　give　it　at　once；　and　from　the　highest

military　testimony　in　the　worldI　mean　that　of　the　Emperor

Napoleon。



In　the　month　of　March；　1817；　I　was　passenger　on　board　the　〃Prince

Regent；〃　Captain　Harris；　which　touched　at　St。　Helena　on　its　passage

from　Calcutta　to　England。　　In　company　with　the　other　officers　on

board　the　ship；　I　paid　my　respects　to　the　illustrious　exile　of

Longwood；　who　received　us　in　his　garden；　where　he　was　walking

about；　in　a　nankeen　dress　and　a　large　broad…brimmed　straw…hat；　with

General　Montholon；　Count　Las　Casas；　and　his　son　Emanuel；　then　a

little　boy；　who　I　dare　say　does　not　recollect　me；　but　who