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第28节

burlesques-第28节

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his son; I had mayd my proposals for Hangelina; and was axepted;

and hoped soon to be made the appiest gent in Hengland。



〃'You must break the matter gently to her;' said her hexlent

father。  'You have my warmest wishes; my dear Mr。 De la Pluche; and

those of my Lady Bareacres; but I am notnot quite certain about

Lady Angelina's feelings。  Girls are wild and romantic。  They do

not see the necessity of prudent establishments; and I have never

yet been able to make Angelina understand the embarrassments of her

family。  These silly creatures prate about love and a cottage; and

despise advantages which wiser heads than theirs know how to

estimate。'



〃'Do you mean that she aint fassanated by me?' says I; bursting out

at this outrayjus ideer。



〃'She WILL be; my dear sir。  You have already pleased her;your

admirable manners must succeed in captivating her; and a fond

father's wishes will be crowned on the day in which you enter our

family。'



〃'Recklect; gents;' says I to the 2 lords;'a barging's a barging

I'll pay hoff Southdown's Jews; when I'm his brother。  As a

STRAYNGER'(this I said in a sarcastickle toan)'I wouldn't take

such a LIBBATY。  When I'm your suninlor I'll treble the valyou of

your estayt。  I'll make your incumbrinces as right as a trivit; and

restor the ouse of Bareacres to its herly splender。  But a pig in a

poak is not the way of transacting bisniss imployed by Jeames De la

Pluche; Esquire。'



〃And I had a right to speak in this way。  I was one of the greatest

scrip…holders in Hengland; and calclated on a kilossle fortune。

All my shares was rising immence。  Every poast brot me noose that I

was sevral thowsands richer than the day befor。  I was detummind

not to reerlize till the proper time; and then to buy istates; to

found a new family of Delapluches; and to alie myself with the

aristoxy of my country。



〃These pints I reprasented to pore Mary Hann hover and hover agin。

'If you'd been Lady Hangelina; my dear gal;' says I; 'I would have

married you: and why don't I?  Because my dooty prewents me。  I'm a

marter to dooty; and you; my pore gal; must cumsole yorself with

that ideer。'



〃There seemed to be a consperracy; too; between that Silvertop and

Lady Hangelina to drive me to the same pint。  'What a plucky fellow

you were; Pluche;' says he (he was rayther more familiar than I

liked); 'in your fight with Fitzwarrento engage a man of twice

your strength and science; though you were sure to be beaten' (this

is an etroashous folsood: I should have finnisht Fitz in 10

minnits); 'for the sake of poor Mary Hann!  That's a generous

fellow。  I like to see a man risen to eminence like you; having his

heart in the right place。  When is to be the marriage; my boy?'



〃'Capting S。' says I; 'my marridge consunns your most umble servnt

a precious sight more than you;'and I gev him to understand I

didn't want him to put in HIS oreI wasn't afrayd of his whiskers;

I prommis you; Capting as he was。  I'm a British Lion; I am as

brayv as Bonypert; Hannible; or Holiver Crummle; and would face

bagnits as well as any Evy drigoon of 'em all。



〃Lady Hangelina; too; igspawstulated in her hartfl way。  'Mr。 De la

Pluche (seshee); why; why press this point?  You can't suppose that

you will be happy with a person like me?'



〃'I adoar you; charming gal!' says I。  'Never; never go to say any

such thing。'



〃'You adored Mary Ann first;' answers her ladyship; 'you can't keep

your eyes off her now。  If any man courts her you grow so jealous

that you begin beating him。  You will break the girl's heart if you

don't marry her; and perhaps some one else'sbut you don't mind

THAT。'



〃'Break yours; you adoarible creature!  I'd die first!  And as for

Mary Hann; she will git over it; people's arts aint broakn so easy。

Once for all; suckmstances is changed betwigst me and er。  It's a

pang to part with her' (says I; my fine hi's filling with tears);

'but part from her I must。'



〃It was curius to remark abowt that singlar gal; Lady Hangelina;

that melumcolly as she was when she was talking to me; and ever so

dismlyet she kep on laffing every minute like the juice and all。



〃'What a sacrifice!' says she; 'it's like Napoleon giving up

Josephine。  What anguish it must cause to your susceptible heart!'



〃'It does;' says I'Hagnies!'  (Another laff。)



〃'And ifif I don't accept youyou will invade the States of

the Emperor; my papa; and I am to be made the sacrifice and the

occasion of peace between you!'



〃'I don't know what you're eluding to about Joseyfeen and Hemperors

your Pas; but I know that your Pa's estate is over hedaneers

morgidged; that if some one don't elp him; he's no better than an

old pawper; that he owes me a lot of money; and that I'm the man

that can sell him up hoss & foot; or set him up agenTHAT'S what I

know; Lady Hangelina;' says I; with a hair as much as to say; 'Put

THAT in your ladyship's pipe and smoke it。'



〃And so I left her; and nex day a serting fashnable paper enounced



〃'MARRIAGE IN HIGH LIFE。We hear that a matrimonial union is on

the tapis between a gentleman who has made a colossal fortune in

the Railway World; and the only daughter of a noble earl; whose

estates are situated in D…ddles…x。  An early day is fixed for this

interesting event。'〃





〃Contry to my expigtations (but when or ow can we reckn upon the

fealinx of wimming?) Mary Hann didn't seem to be much efected by

the hideer of my marridge with Hangelinar。  I was rayther

disapinted peraps that the fickle young gal reckumsiled herself so

easy to give me hup; for we Gents are creechers of vannaty after

all; as well as those of the hopsit secks; and betwigst you and me

there WAS mominx; when I almost wisht that I'd been borne a

Myommidn or Turk; when the Lor would have permitted me to marry

both these sweet beinx; wherehas I was now condemd to be appy with

ony one。



〃Meanwild everythink went on very agreeable betwigst me and my

defianced bride。  When we came back to town I kemishnd Mr。 Showery

the great Hoctionear to look out for a town maushing sootable for a

gent of my qualaty。  I got from the Erald Hoffis (not the Mawning

Eraldno; no; I'm not such a Mough as to go THERE for ackrit

infamation) an account of my famly; my harms and pedigry。



〃I hordered in Long Hacre; three splendid equipidges; on which my

arms and my adord wife's was drawn & quartered; and I got portricks

of me and her paynted by the sellabrated Mr。 Shalloon; being

resolved to be the gentleman in all things; and knowing that my

character as a man of fashn wasn't compleat unless I sat to that

dixtinguished Hartist。  My likenis I presented to Hangelina。  It's

not considered flattringand though SHE parted with it; as you

will hear; mighty willingly; there's ONE young lady (a thousand

times handsomer) that values it as the happle of her hi。



〃Would any man beleave that this picture was soald at my sale for

about a twenty…fifth part of what it cost me?  It was bought in by

Maryhann; though: 'O dear Jeames;' says she; often (kissing of it &

pressing it to her art); 'it isn't ansum enough for you; and hasn't

got your angellick smile and the igspreshn of your dear dear i's。'



〃Hangelina's pictur was kindly presented to me by Countess B。; her

mamma; though of coarse I paid for it。  It was engraved for the

'Book of Bewty' the same year。



〃With such a perfusion of ringlits I should scarcely have known

herbut the ands; feat; and i's; was very like。  She was painted

in a gitar supposed to be singing one of my little melladies; and

her brother Southdown; who is one of the New England poits; wrote

the follering stanzys about her:





         〃LINES UPON MY SISTER'S PORTRAIT。



             〃BY THE LORD SOUTHDOWN。



〃The castle towers of Bareacres are fair upon the lea;

Where the cliffs of bonny Diddlesex rise up from out the sea:

I stood upon the donjon keep and view'd the country o'er;

I saw the lands of Bareacres for fifty miles or more。

I stood upon the donjon keepit is a sacred place;

Where floated for eight hundred years the banner of my race;

Argent; a dexter sinople; and gules an azure field;

There ne'er was nobler cognizance on knightly warrior's shield。



〃The first time England saw the shield 'twas round a Norman neck;

On board a ship from Valery; King William was on deck。

A Norman lance the colors wore; in Hastings' fatal fray

St。 Willibald for Bareacres! 'twas double gules that day!

O Heaven and sweet St。 Willibald! in many a battle since

A loyal…hearted Bareacres has ridden by his Prince!

At Acre with Plantagenet; with Edward at Poitiers;

The pennon of the Bareacres was foremost on the spears!



〃'Twas pleasant in the battle…shock to hear our war…cry ringing:

O grant me; sweet St。 Willibald; to listen to such singing!

Three hundred steel…clad gentlemen; we drove the foe before us;

And thirty score of Briti

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