burlesques-第25节
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Pluche。 I speak adwisedly。 I MAY be going to form a noble
kinexion。 I may be （by marridge） going to unight my family once
more with Harrystoxy； from which misfortn has for some sentries
separated us。 I have dreams of that sort。
〃I've sean sevral times in a dalitifle vishn a SERTING ERL；
standing in a hattitude of bennydiction； and rattafying my union
with a serting butifle young lady； his daughter。 Phansy Mr。 or Sir
Jeames and lady Hangelina de la Pluche！ Ho！ what will the old
washywoman； my grandmother； say？ She may sell her mangle then； and
shall too by my honor as a Gent。〃
〃As for Squallop Hill； its not to be emadgind that I was going to
give 5000 lb。 for a bleak mounting like that； unless I had some
ideer in vew。 Ham I not a Director of the Grand Diddlesex？ Don't
Squallop lie amediately betwigst Old Bone House； Single Gloster；
and Scrag End； through which cities our line passes？ I will have
400；000 lb。 for that mounting； or my name is not Jeames。 I have
arranged a little barging too for my friend the Erl。 The line will
pass through a hangle of Bareacre Park。 He shall have a good
compensation I promis you； and then I shall get back the 3000 I
lent him。 His banker's acount； I fear； is in a horrid state。〃
＇The Diary now for several days contains particulars of no interest
to the public：Memoranda of City dinnersmeetings of Directors
fashionable parties in which Mr。 Jeames figures； and nearly always
by the side of his new friend； Lord Bareacres； whose 〃pompossaty；〃
as previously described； seems to have almost entirely subsided。＇
We then come to the following：
〃With a prowd and thankfle Art； I copy off this morning's Gayzett
the following news：
〃'Commission signed by the Lord Lieutenant of the County of
Diddlesex。
〃'JAMES AUGUSTUS DE LA PLUCHE； Esquire； to be Deputy Lieutenant。'〃
〃'North Diddlesex Regiment of Yeomanry Cavalry。
〃'James Augustus de la Pluche； Esquire； to be Captain； vice
Blowhard； promoted。〃'
〃And his it so？ Ham I indeed a landed propriatora Deppaty
Leftnanta Capting？ May I hatend the Cort of my Sovring？ and dror
a sayber in my country's defens？ I wish the French WOOD land； and
me at the head of my squadring on my hoss Desparation。 How I'd
extonish 'em！ How the gals will stare when they see me in
youniform！ How Mary Hann wouldbut nonsince！ I'm halways
thinking of that pore gal。 She's left Sir John's。 She couldn't
abear to stay after I went； I've heerd say。 I hope she's got a
good place。 Any sumn of money that would sett her up in bisniss；
or make her comfarable； I'd come down with like a mann。 I told my
granmother so； who sees her； and rode down to Healing on porpose on
Desparation to leave a five lb。 noat in an anvylope。 But she's
sent it back； sealed with a thimbill。〃
Tuesday。Reseaved the folloing letter from Lord B； rellatiff
to my presntation at Cort and the Youniform I shall wear on that
hospicious seramony：
〃'MY DEAR DE LA PLUCHE；I THINK you had better be presented as a
Deputy Lieutenant。 As for the Diddlesex Yeomanry； I hardly know
what the uniform is now。 The last time we were out was in 1803；
when the Prince of Wales reviewed us； and when we wore French gray
jackets； leathers； red morocco boots； crimson pelisses； brass
helmets with leopard…skin and a white plume； and the regulation
pig…tail of eighteen inches。 That dress will hardly answer at
present； and must be modified； of coarse。 We were called the White
Feathers； in those days。 For my part； I decidedly recommend the
Deputy Lieutenant。
〃'I shall be happy to present you at the Levee and at the Drawing…
room。 Lady Bareacres will be in town for the 13th； with Angelina；
who will be presented on that day。 My wife has heard much of you；
and is anxious to make your acquaintance。
〃'All my people are backward with their rents： for heaven's sake；
my dear fellow； lend me five hundred and oblige
〃'Yours； very gratefully；
〃'BAREACRES。'
〃Note。Bareacres may press me about the Depity Leftnant； but I'M
for the cavvlery。〃
〃Jewly will always be a sacrid anniwussary with me。 It was in that
month that I became persnally ecquaintid with my Prins and my
gracious Sovarink。
〃Long before the hospitious event acurd； you may imadgin that my
busm was in no triffling flutter。 Sleaplis of nights； I past them
thinking of the great ewentor if igsosted natur DID clothes my
highlidsthe eyedear of my waking thoughts pevaded my slummers。
Corts； Erls； presntations； Goldstix； gracious Sovarinx mengling in
my dreembs unceasnly。 I blush to say it （for humin prisumpshn
never surely igseeded that of my wicked wickid vishn）； one night I
actially dremt that Her R。 H。 the Princess Hallis was grown up； and
that there was a Cabinit Counsel to detummin whether her & was to
be bestoad on me or the Prins of Sax…Muffinhausen…Pumpenstein； a
young Prooshn or Germing zion of nobillaty。 I ask umly parding for
this hordacious ideer。
〃I said； in my fommer remarx； that I had detummined to be presented
to the notus of my reveared Sovaring in a melintary coschewm。 The
Court…shoots in which Sivillians attend a Levy are so uncomming
like thethelivries （ojous wud！ I 8 to put it down） I used to
wear before entering sosiaty； that I couldn't abide the notium of
wearing one。 My detummination was fumly fixt to apeer as a Yominry
Cavilry Hoffiser； in the galleant youniform of the North Diddlesex
Huzzas。
〃Has that redgmint had not been out sins 1803； I thought myself
quite hotherized to make such halterations in the youniform as
shuited the presnt time and my metured and elygint taste。 Pig…
tales was out of the question。 Tites I was detummind to mintain。
My legg is praps the finist pint about me； and I was risolved not
to hide it under a booshle。
〃I phixt on scarlit tites； then； imbridered with goold； as I have
seen Widdicomb wear them at Hashleys when me and Mary Hann used to
go there。 Ninety…six guineas worth of rich goold lace and cord did
I have myhandering hall hover those shoperb inagspressables。
〃Yellow marocky Heshn boots； red eels； goold spurs and goold
tassels as bigg as belpulls。
〃JackitFrench gray and silver oringe fasings & cuphs； according
to the old patn； belt； green and goold； tight round my pusn； &
settin hoff the cemetry of my figgar NOT DISADVINTAJUSLY。
〃A huzza paleese of pupple velvit & sable fir。 A sayber of
Demaskus steal； and a sabertash （in which I kep my Odiclone and
imbridered pocket ankercher）； kimpleat my acooterments； which；
without vannaty； was； I flatter myself； UNEAK。
〃But the crownding triumph was my hat。 I couldnt wear a cock At。
The huzzahs dont use 'em。 I wouldnt wear the hojous old brass
Elmet & Leppardskin。 I choas a hat which is dear to the memry of
hevery Brittn； an at which was inwented by my Feeld Marshle and
adord Prins； an At which VULGAR PREJIDIS & JOAKING has in vane
etempted to run down。 I chose the HALBERT AT。 I didn't tell
Bareacres of this egsabishn of loilty； intending to SURPRISE him。
The white ploom of the West Diddlesex Yomingry I fixt on the topp
of this Shacko； where it spread hout like a shaving…brush。
〃You may be sure that befor the fatle day arrived； I didnt niglect
to practus my part well； and had sevral REHUSTLES； as they say。
〃This was the way。 I used to dress myself in my full togs。 I made
Fitzwarren； my boddy servnt； stand at the dor； and figger as the
Lord in Waiting。 I put Mrs。 Bloker； my laundress； in my grand harm
chair to reprasent the horgust pusn of my Sovring； Frederick； my
secknd man； standing on her left； in the hattatude of an illustrus
Prins Consort。 Hall the Candles were lighted。 'Captain de la
Pluche； presented by Herl Bareacres；' Fitzwarren； my man；
igsclaimed； as adwancing I made obasins to the Thrown。 Nealin on
one nee； I cast a glans of unhuttarable loilty towards the British
Crownd； then stepping gracefully hup； （my Dimascus Simiter WOULD
git betwigst my ligs； in so doink； which at fust was wery
disagreeble）rising hup grasefly； I say； I flung a look of manly
but respeckfl hommitch tords my Prins； and then ellygntly ritreated
backards out of the Roil Presents。 I kep my 4 suvnts hup for 4
hours at this gaym the night before my presntation； and yet I was
the fust to be hup with the sunrice。 I COODNT sleep that night。
By abowt six o'clock in the morning I was drest in my full uniform；
and I didnt know how to pass the interveaning hours。
〃'My Granmother hasnt seen me in full phigg；' says I。 'It will
rejoice that pore old sole to behold one of her race so suxesfle in
life。 Has I ave read in the novle of 〃Kennleworth；〃 that the Herl
goes down in Cort dress and extoneshes Hamy Robsart； I will go down
in all my splender and astownd my old washywoman of a Granmother。'
To make this detummination； to horder my Broom； t
