adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第98节
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consequence； but an element of his error。 The words of hatred and
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contempt—the first he had ever heard in his life—seemed like
scorching missiles that were making ineffaceable scars on him。 All
screening self…excuse； which rarely falls quite away while others
respect us； forsook him for an instant； and he stood face to face
with the first great irrevocable evil he had ever committed。 He was
only twenty…one； and three months ago—nay； much later—he had
thought proudly that no man should ever be able to reproach him
justly。 His first impulse； if there had been time for it； would
perhaps have been to utter words of propitiation； but Adam had
no sooner thrown off his coat and cap than he became aware that
Arthur was standing pale and motionless； with his hands still
thrust in his waistcoat pockets。
“What！” he said； “won’t you fight me like a man？ You know I
won’t strike you while you stand so。”
“Go away； Adam；” said Arthur； “I don’t want to fight you。”
“No；” said Adam； bitterly； “you don’t want to fight me—you
think I’m a common man； as you can injure without answering for
it。”
“I never meant to injure you；” said Arthur； with returning
anger。 “I didn’t know you loved her。”
“But you’ve made her love you；” said Adam。 “You’re a double…
faced man—I’ll never believe a word you say again。”
“Go away； I tell you；” said Arthur； angrily； “or we shall both
repent。”
“No；” said Adam； with a convulsed voice； “I swear I won’t go
away without fighting you。 Do you want provoking any more？ I tell
you you’re a coward and a scoundrel； and I despise you。”
The colour had all rushed back to Arthur’s face； in a moment
his right hand was clenched； and dealt a blow like lightning； which
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sent Adam staggering backward。 His blood was as thoroughly up
as Adam’s now； and the two men； forgetting the emotions that had
gone before； fought with the instinctive fierceness of panthers in
the deepening twilight darkened by the trees。 The delicate…handed
gentleman was a match for the workman in everything but
strength； and Arthur’s skill enabled him to protract the struggle
for some long moments。 But between unarmed men the battle is to
the strong； where the strong is no blunderer； and Arthur must
sink under a well…planted blow of Adam’s as a steel rod is broken
by an iron bar。 The blow soon came； and Arthur fell； his head lying
concealed in a tuft of fern； so that Adam could only discern his
darkly clad body。
He stood still in the dim light waiting for Arthur to rise。
The blow had been given now； towards which he had been
straining all the force of nerve and muscle—and what was the
good of it？ What had he done by fighting？ Only satisfied his own
passion； only wreaked his own vengeance。 He had not rescued
Hetty； nor changed the past—there it was； just as it had been； and
he sickened at the vanity of his own rage。
But why did not Arthur rise？ He was perfectly motionless； and
the time seemed long to Adam。 Good God！ had the blow been too
much for him？ Adam shuddered at the thought of his own
strength； as with the oncoming of this dread he knelt down by
Arthur’s side and lifted his head from among the fern。 There was
no sign of life： the eyes and teeth were set。 The horror that rushed
over Adam completely mastered him； and forced upon him its own
belief。 He could feel nothing but that death was in Arthur’s face；
and that he was helpless before it。 He made not a single
movement； but knelt like an image of despair gazing at an image
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of death。
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Chapter XXVIII
A Dilemma
t was only a few minutes measured by the clock—though
Adam always thought it had been a long while—before he
I
perceived a gleam of consciousness in Arthur’s face and a
slight shiver through his frame。 The intense joy that flooded his
soul brought back some of the old affection with it。
“Do you feel any pain； sir？” he said； tenderly； loosening
Arthur’s cravat。
Arthur turned his eyes on Adam with a vague stare which gave
way to a slightly startled motion as if from the shock of returning
memory。 But he only shivered again and said nothing。
“Do you feel any hurt； sir？” Adam said again； with a trembling
in his voice。
Arthur put his hand up to his waistcoat buttons； and when
Adam had unbuttoned it； he took a longer breath。 “Lay my head
down；” he said； faintly； “and get me some water if you can。”
Adam laid the head down gently on the fern again； and
emptying the tools out of the flag…basket； hurried through the trees
to the edge of the Grove bordering on the Chase； where a brook
ran below the bank。
When he returned with his basket leaking； but still half…full；
Arthur looked at him with a more thoroughly reawakened
consciousness。
“Can you drink a drop out o’ your hand； sir？” said Adam；
kneeling down again to lift up Arthur’s head。
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“No；” said Arthur； “dip my cravat in and souse it on my head。”
The water seemed to do him some good； for he presently raised
himself a little higher； resting on Adam’s arm。
“Do you feel any hurt inside sir？” Adam asked again
“No—no hurt；” said Arthur； still faintly； “but rather done up。”
After a while he said； “I suppose I fainted away when you
knocked me down。”
“Yes； sir； thank God；” said Adam。 “I thought it was worse。”
“What！ You thought you’d done for me； eh？ Come help me on
my legs。”
“I feel terribly shaky and dizzy；” Arthur said； as he stood
leaning on Adam’s arm； “that blow of yours must have come
against me like a battering…ram。 I don’t believe I can walk alone。”
“Lean on me； sir； I’ll get you along；” said Adam。 “Or； will you sit
down a bit longer； on my coat here； and I’ll prop y’ up。 You’ll
perhaps be better in a minute or two。”
“No；” said Arthur。 “I’ll go to the Hermitage—I think I’ve got
some brandy there。 There’s a short road to it a little farther on；
near the gate。 If you’ll just help me on。”
They walked slowly； with frequent pauses； but without
speaking again。 In both of them； the concentration in the present
which had attended the first moments of Arthur’s revival had now
given way to a vivid recollection of the previous scene。 It was
nearly dark in the narrow path among the trees； but within the
circle of fir…trees round the Hermitage there was room for the
growing moonlight to enter in at the windows。 Their steps were
noiseless on the thick carpet of fir…needles； and the outward
stillness seemed to heighten their inward consciousness； as Arthur
took the key out of his pocket and placed it in Adam’s hand； for
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