adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第149节
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Donnithorne Chase： you know who the men were。
The old squire’s funeral had taken place that morning； the will
had been read； and now in the first breathing…space； Arthur
Donnithorne had come out for a lonely walk； that he might look
fixedly at the new future before him and confirm himself in a sad
resolution。 He thought he could do that best in the Grove。
Adam too had come from Stoniton on Monday evening； and to…
day he had not left home； except to go to the family at the Hall
Farm and tell them everything that Mr。 Irwine had left untold。 He
had agreed with the Poysers that he would follow them to their
new neighbourhood； wherever that might be； for he meant to give
up the management of the woods； and； as soon as it was
practicable； he would wind up his business with Jonathan Burge
and settle with his mother and Seth in a home within reach of the
friends to whom he felt bound by a mutual sorrow。
“Seth and me are sure to find work；” he said。 “A man that’s got
our trade at his finger…ends is at home everywhere； and we must
make a new start。 My mother won’t stand in the way； for she’s told
me； since I came home； she’d made up her mind to being buried in
another parish； if I wished it； and if I’d be more comfortable
elsewhere。 It’s wonderful how quiet she’s been ever since I came
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back。 It seems as if the very greatness o’ the trouble had quieted
and calmed her。 We shall all be better in a new country； though
there’s some I shall be loath to leave behind。 But I won’t part from
you and yours； if I can help it； Mr。 Poyser。 Trouble’s made us kin。”
“Aye； lad；” said Martin。 “We’ll go out o’ hearing o’ that man’s
name。 But I doubt we shall ne’er go far enough for folks not to find
out as we’ve got them belonging to us as are transported o’er the
seas； and were like to be hanged。 We shall have that flyin’ up in
our faces； and our children’s after us。”
That was a long visit to the Hall Farm； and drew too strongly on
Adam’s energies for him to think of seeing others； or re…entering
on his old occupations till the morrow。 “But to…morrow；” he said to
himself； “I’ll go to work again。 I shall learn to like it again some
time； maybe； and it’s right whether I like it or not。”
This evening was the last he would allow to be absorbed by
sorrow： suspense was gone now； and he must bear the unalterable。
He was resolved not to see Arthur Donnithorne again； if it were
possible to avoid him。 He had no message to deliver from Hetty
now； for Hetty had seen Arthur。 And Adam distrusted himself—he
had learned to dread the violence of his own feeling。 That word of
Mr。 Irwine’s—that he must remember what he had felt after giving
the last blow to Arthur in the Grove—had remained with him。
These thoughts about Arthur； like all thoughts that are charged
with strong feeling； were continually recurring； and they always
called up the image of the Grove—of that spot under the
overarching boughs where he had caught sight of the two bending
figures； and had been possessed by sudden rage。
“I’ll go and see it again to…night for the last time；” he said； “it’ll
do me good； it’ll make me feel over again what I felt when I’d
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knocked him down。 I felt what poor empty work it was； as soon as
I’d done it； before I began to think he might be dead。”
In this way it happened that Arthur and Adam were walking
towards the same spot at the same time。
Adam had on his working…dress again； now； for he had thrown
off the other with a sense of relief as soon as he came home； and if
he had had the basket of tools over his shoulder； he might have
been taken； with his pale wasted face； for the spectre of the Adam
Bede who entered the Grove on that August evening eight months
ago。 But he had no basket of tools； and he was not walking with
the old erectness； looking keenly round him； his hands were thrust
in his side pockets； and his eyes rested chiefly on the ground。 He
had not long entered the Grove； and now he paused before a
beech。 He knew that tree well； it was the boundary mark of his
youth—the sign； to him； of the time when some of his earliest；
strongest feelings had left him。 He felt sure they would never
return。 And yet； at this moment； there was a stirring of affection at
the remembrance of that Arthur Donnithorne whom he had
believed in before he had come up to this beech eight months ago。
It was affection for the dead： that Arthur existed no longer。
He was disturbed by the sound of approaching footsteps； but
the beech stood at a turning in the road； and he could not see who
was coming until the tall slim figure in deep mourning suddenly
stood before him at only two yards’ distance。 They both started；
and looked at each other in silence。 Often； in the last fortnight；
Adam had imagined himself as close to Arthur as this； assailing
him with words that should be as harrowing as the voice of
remorse； forcing upon him a just share in the misery he had
caused； and often； too； he had told himself that such a meeting had
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better not be。 But in imagining the meeting he had always seen
Arthur； as he had met him on that evening in the Grove； florid；
careless； light of speech； and the figure before him touched him
with the signs of suffering。 Adam knew what suffering was—he
could not lay a cruel finger on a bruised man。 He felt no impulse
that he needed to resist。 Silence was more just than reproach。
Arthur was the first to speak。
“Adam；” he said； quietly； “it may be a good thing that we have
met here； for I wished to see you。 I should have asked to see you
to…morrow。”
He paused； but Adam said nothing。
“I know it is painful to you to meet me；” Arthur went on； “but it
is not likely to happen again for years to come。”
“No； sir；” said Adam； coldly； “that was what I meant to write to
you to…morrow； as it would be better all dealings should be at an
end between us； and somebody else put in my place。”
Arthur felt the answer keenly； and it was not without an effort
that he spoke again。
“It was partly on that subject I wished to speak to you。 I don’t
want to lessen your indignation against me； or ask you to do
anything for my sake。 I only wish to ask you if you will help me to
lessen the evil consequences of the past； which is unchangeable。 I
don’t mean consequences to myself； but to others。 It is but little I
can do； I know。 I know the worst consequences will remain； but
something may be done； and you can help me。 Will you listen to
me patiently？”
“Yes； sir；” said Adam； after some hesitation； “I’ll hear what it is。
If I can help to mend anything； I will。 Anger ’ull mend nothing； I
know。 We’ve had enough o’ that。”
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“I was going to the Hermitage；” said Arthur。 “Will you go there
with me and sit down？ We can talk better there。”
The Hermitage had never been entered since they left it
together； for Arthur had locked up the key in his desk。 And now；
when he opened the door； there was the candle burnt out in the
socket； there was the chair in the same place where Adam
remembered sitting； there was the waste…pap
