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第48节

时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版-第48节


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  It took an hour to pack both of the cars up; with me not doing much 
  more than propping open the door to the street and guarding the 
  vehicles while they went back upstairs。 The bed movers—who were 
  charging more than the actual cost of the damn thing—were running 
  late; so my dad and Alex each started downtown。 Lily had found our 
  new apartment through an ad in theVillage Voice; and I hadn’t even 
  seen it yet。 She’d called me at work from her Cell Phone in the 
  middle of the day; screaming; “I found it! I found it! It’s perfect! 
  There’s a bathroom with running water; a wooden floor that only has 
  minimal warping; and I’ve been here four full minutes and haven’t 
  seen a single mouse or even a roach。 Can you e see it 
  immediately?”

  “Are you high right now?” I whispered。 “She’shere; which means I’m 
  not going anywhere。”

  “You have to enow 。 You know what it’s like。 I have my folder and 
  everything。”

  “Lily; be reasonable。 I couldn’t leave the office right now for an 
  emergency heart transplant if I needed one; without getting fired。 
  How can I e look at an apartment?”

  “Well; it’s not going to be here in thirty more seconds。 There are 
  at least twenty…five other people at this open house; and they’re 
  all filling out applications。 I need to do thisnow 。”

  In the obscene world of Manhattan real estate; semilivable 
  apartments were rarer—and more desirable—than seminormal straight 
  guys。 When you added semiaffordable into the mix; they became harder 
  to rent than your private island somewhere off the southern coast of 
  Africa。 Or probably harder。 No matter that most boasted fewer than 
  three hundred square feet of dirt and rotted wood; pockmarked walls; 
  and prehistoric appliances。 No roaches? No mice? This one was a 
  keeper!

  “Lily; I trust you; just do it。 Can you e…mail me a description?” I 
  was trying to get off the phone as quickly as possible since Miranda 
  was due back from the art department any second。 If she saw me on a 
  personal call; I was finished。

  “Well; I have copies of your paychecks—which; by the way; really 
  suck 。 。 。 and I’ve got both our bank statements and printouts of 
  our credit histories and your employment letter。 The only problem is 
  our guarantor。 It has to be a tristate resident who makes more than 
  forty times our monthly rent; and my grandmother sure as hell 
  doesn’t make a hundred grand。 Can your parents sign for us?”

  “Jesus; Lil; I don’t know。 I haven’t asked them; and I can’t very 
  well call them right now。 You call。”

  “Fine。 They do make enough; don’t they?”

  I wasn’t really sure; but who else could we ask? “Just call them;” I 
  told her。 “Explain about Miranda。 Tell them I’m sorry for not 
  calling myself。”

  “Will do;” she said。 “But let me make sure we can get the place。 
  I’ll call you back;” she said and clicked off the phone。 The phone 
  rang again twenty seconds later; and I saw her Cell Phone number on 
  the office phone caller ID。 Emily raised her eyes in that special 
  way she did when she heard me once again talking to a friend。 I 
  grabbed the phone but spoke to Emily。

  “It’s important;” I hissed in her direction。 “My best friend is 
  trying to rent me an apartment over the phone because I can’t leave 
  here for a goddamn—”

  Three voices attacked me at once。 Emily’s was measured and calm and 
  carried with it a warning tone。 “Andrea; please;” she’d started; at 
  the exact same time that Lily was shrieking; “They’ll do it; Andy; 
  they’ll do it! Are you listening to me?” But even though both of 
  them were clearly addressing me; I couldn’t really hear either one 
  of them。 The only voice that came through loud and clear was 
  Miranda’s。

  “Do we have a problem here; Ahn…dre…ah?” Shocker—she got my name 
  right this time。 She was hovering over me; appearing ready to 
  strike。

  I immediately hung up on Lily; hoping she’d understand; and braced 
  myself for the onslaught。 “No; Miranda; no problem at all。”

  “Good。 Now; I’d like a sundae and I’d like to actually eat it before 
  the entire thing melts。 Vanilla ice cream—not yogurt; mind you; not 
  ice milk; and nothing sugar…free or low…fat—with chocolate syrup and 
  real whipped cream。 Not canned; you understand? Genuine whipped 
  cream。 That’s all。” She walked purposefully back toward the art 
  department; and I was left with the distinct impression that she’d 
  e in just to check on me。 Emily smirked。 The phone rang。 Lily 
  again。 Dammit—couldn’t she just e…mail me? I picked it up and 
  pressed it to my ear but said nothing。

  “OK; I know you can’t talk; so I will。 Your parents will be our 
  guarantors; which is great。 The apartment is a big one…bedroom; and 
  once we put the wall up in the living room; there will still be room 
  for a two…person couchand a chair。 The bathroom doesn’t have a bath; 
  but the shower looks OK。 No dishwasher; natch; and no AC; but we can 
  get window units。 Laundry in the basement; part…time doorman; one 
  block from the six train。 And get this。 A balcony!”

  I must’ve breathed audibly; because she got even more excited at my 
  excitement。 “I know! Crazy; right? It looks like it might fall right 
  off the side of the building; but it’s there! And we could both fit 
  on it and have a place to smoke; and oh; it’s just perfect!”

  “How much?” I croaked; determined that these would be the absolute 
  last words I’d utter。

  “All ours for the grand total of twenty…two eighty a month。 Do you 
  believe that we’ll get a balcony for eleven hundred forty dollars 
  apiece? This place is the find of the century。 So; can I do it?”

  I was silent。 I wanted to talk; but Miranda was inching her way back 
  to her office as she upbraided the public events coordinator in 
  front of everyone。 She was in a wicked mood; and I’d already had 
  enough for one day。 The girl she was currently abusing had her head 
  hung in shame; cheeks bright red; and I prayed for her own sake that 
  she wouldn’t cry。

  “Andy! This is fucking ridiculous。 Just say yes or no! It’s bad 
  enough that I have to cut class today and you can’t so much as leave 
  work to e look at this place; but you can’t even bother to say 
  yes or no? What am I—” Lily had reached her breaking point and I 
  totally understood; but there was nothing I could do except hang up 
  on her。 She was screaming so loud into the phone that it was 
  reverberating in the quiet office; and Miranda was standing less 
  than five feet away。 I was so frustrated; I wanted to grab the PR 
  coordinator and hit the ladies’ room and cry with her。 Or maybe if 
  we worked together we could throw Miranda into a toilet stall and 
  tighten that Hermès scarf that hung loosely around her skinny neck。 
  Would I hold her down or pull? Or perhaps it’d be more effective to 
  just shove the damn thing down her throat and watch her gasp for air 
  and—

  “Ahn…dre…ah!” Her voice was clipped; steely。 “What did I ask you for 
  a mere five minutes ago?” Shit! The sundae。 I’d forgotten the 
  sundae。 “Is there a particular reason why you’re still sitting there 
  instead of doing your job? Is this your idea of a joke? Did I do or 
  say something to indicate that I wasn’t entirely serious? Did I? Did 
  I?” Her blue eyes were bulging out of her face; and although she 
  hadn’t fully raised her voice yet; of course; she was ing awfully 
  close。 I opened my mouth to speak but heard Emily talking instead。

  “Miranda; I’m so sorry。 It’s my fault。 I asked Andrea to answer the 
  phone because I thought it might be Caroline or Cassidy and I was on 
  the other line ordering that shirt from Prada you wanted。 Andrea was 
  just on her way out。 I’m sorry; and it won’t happen again。”

  Miracle of miracles! The Perfect One had spoken; and in my defense; 
  no less。

  Miranda looked momentarily mollified。 “Well; all right then。 Get my 
  sundae now; Andrea。” And with that; she walked in her office and 
  picked up the phone; where she promptly started cooing to B…DAD。

  I looked at Emily; but she was pretending to work。 I shot her a 
  one…word e…mail。Why? I wrote。

  Because I wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t going to fire you; and I 
  don’t really feel like training someone new;she wrote back 
  instantly。 I left to go in search of this perfect sundae and called 
  Lily from my Cell Phone as soon as the elevator hit the lobby。

  “I’m sorry; I really am。 It’s just that—”

  “Look; I don’t really have time for this;” Lily said flatly。 “I 
  think you’re overreacting just a little bit; don’t you? I mean; you 
  can’t so much as say yes or no on the phone?”

  “It’s hard to explain; 

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